Read this with your best excited Lou Holtz spit slingin lisp.
OK men…..here is your tashk. Go out and beat the number one team in the country. That shouldn’t be too hard, conshidering that they haven’t played anybody, including that team from up north that jusht walloped the eSh-EEE-she darling Florida and Shuperman Tim Tebow. But hey…they only beat Michigan by 8 points, sho it doesn’t count.
You are playing at home, sho your entire family will be there…..jusht like coming back to your old homeshtead. Gumbo and crawfish in the parkin lot and a little deliverance music in the background will probably shcare all the Ohio Shtate fans away, with all that voo-doo and black magic. Of coursh the B-she-esh couldn’t make thish any eashier for you. You have been handed the opportunity to be #1 for the third time thish sheason. It would be terrible to lose to another overrated team. If you can finish in regulation with a tie score, you will shtill be undefeated….then you will shplit the National Championship with Ohio Shtate, no matter what the outcome of overtime is. You are champions of college football in your own minds men….and no Buckeye ish going to take that from you.
Coach Lesh Milesh, your tashk is an eashy one. Jacob Heshter will have such huge holes to run through, your line wont even have to go onto the field. Douchette will catch 20 passhes on Ohio Shtate, even though they have the besht defenshe in the country, ish too shlow for your Tigersh. You may as well get a sheat at the 50 yard line, and just watch. Dorshey can tackle the entire Big Ten by himshelf, sho OSU ish no match. I once read that even your longshnappers can run a sub 4.5 40 yard dash….now that is shpeed!!!!
Your keys to the game……nothing, Show up and Lose and you will be handed the national title or a share of it (you know what that’s like …..right?) Win and you get the national title. Its what Mark May wants.....he loves you guysh.
Sho lets go men….shlide on those purple and yellow pantsh, put on your helmet and buckle up that chinshtrap….this one is nooooooooooooo shweat for the Tigersh.
Oh Hell, who am I kidding I am from Ohio
Fear the NUT…..Go BUCKS
Love Lou Holtz
Probably not my best effort, but I have been busy, and put it up in a rush
I do not profess to be an expert, but I happen to work in a fire station with a lot of sports fans, all with different views and opinions on the world of sports.
I am first and foremost a College Football freak, and spend countless Saturdays in front of the TV. I am a Buckeye homer, and a huge Cleveland Indians Fan. My wife is the only one I know who watches the Indians more than myself.
I have recently started watching the Browns again. Since Art pulled them out of Cleveland, I have boycotted the NFL, but the constant pressure from my Dad and Brother have forced me to watch again.
I was a HUGE NASCAR fan.....still am interested, but I will address that at a later point.
