The Black Flag Outpost at Foxsports.com
by: ccr1d3r
archived posts ยป
Tragedy, Redemption and Sean Taylor
Nov 26, 2007 | 3:15PM | report this
The Toughest Day Ever in Redskin Nation

Most of the time, this blog is all NASCAR. But as a long time, passionate fan of the Washington Redskins, today is different. Today is bigger than NASCAR, bigger than the NFL and bigger than sports.

A man many thought of as invincible was shown to be a mere mortal.

He is a freak of nature -- carrying a size with speed rarely if ever seen.

He is one of the most fearsome players to ever don a uniform.

He is larger than life in so many ways.

The idea that 24 year old Redskins Safety Sean Taylor is now "clinging to life" after being shot in an apparent home invasion is nothing short of unbelievable.

You can read the full post at Epic Carnival.

UPDATE:  The Washington Post is reporting that Taylor has opened his eyes and is responding to doctors requests.  This is the first positive news on Taylor so far. 

Mad Props and much love to the Post's Jason La Canfora for the outstanding job he has done using his blog to keep this story updated.
6 Comments | Add a comment   categories: NFL, NASCAR, Black Flag, NASCAR Mafia, Sean Taylor, Joe Gibbs
 
Live Blog of Sunday's Race: Phoenix Checker 500
Nov 11, 2007 | 1:11AM | report this
Throwing The Black Flag at Sunday's Race

The Black Flag will be taking a new toy out for a spin today at 3:00 EST with a live blog of the Checker 500.

This live blog will be happening at The Black Flag HQ using a great piece of software called Altcaster I was turned on to by fellow Epic Carnie Keith over at Sports Media Journal.

If you've read more than three posts here, you probably already know what to expect. Feel free to lurk or stop by and kick in your own reactions in as the race unfolds.

6 Comments | Add a comment   categories: NASCAR, Nextel Cup, NASCAR Mafia, Black Flag, Live Blog
 
Is That Cheating?
Nov 09, 2007 | 11:27AM | report this

Greenies. Steroids. Jet Fuel. Video Tape. Unapproved Wings. Wide Receivers Pushing Off. Running Over the Commitment Cone. Sports Fans Wonder: "Where is the Line?"


Words need to have meaning.

Words like cheating.

In sports, much like in relationships there are rules and people break those rules all the time.

Since the entire steroids scandal in baseball, the word "cheating" has been getting thrown around at the drop of the hat.

That leaves me wondering if that word has lost meaning.

So I've got to ask: where is the line between breaking rules and cheating?

Here is what I mean....

At Texas last weekend, Greg Biffle ran over the pit road commitment cone while trying to avoid a wreck and get onto pit road.

Running over that cone is against the rules. He got hit with a black flag and had to start at the end of the longest line on the restart.

Is that cheating?

How about getting a Hummer from an intern who is built like an H2?

Is that cheating?

Just for the sake of argument, let's say that one would be considered cheating.

Could there be mitigating factors (hypothetically speaking) that would allow it be viewed as a simple rules violation (like leaving the seat up) if the recipient of said SUV happened to be married to the person who is going to be our next president?

What if instead an intern in a blue dress, the Hummer was coming from F Da Eagles Heather? Whether it's cheating or not, I could at least understand it.

How about the case of Hall of Fame Wide Receiver Michael Irvin. No, I'm not talking about Irvin's activities at the Dallas Cowboy's White House.

This is about what he did on the field. Irvin is in the Hall of Fame today because of his ability to push off of covering defenders without getting caught.

Is that cheating?


This year in NASCAR there have been a number of major penalties handed down. The year started off with Michael Waltrip getting busted for having "a jet fuel like substance" found in his manifold (after further investigation, a cone of silence settled upon the NASCAR enforcers and on Michael Waltrip Racing about what really happened).

Is that cheating?


Later, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. got popped for using an "unapproved" wing mount on his car. Shortly after that, Hendrick Motorsports got nailed because both Jimmy Johnson and Jeff Gordon had bent there fenders to give them more down force.

Is that cheating?


Even the Michael Waltrip incident doesn't even come close to an entire laundry list of things the late, great Smokey Yunick managed to pull off. Say what you will about Smokey. The man was an innovator. An amazing, genius of an engineer.

My favorite Smokey story is the one when NASCAR pulled his gas tank after an inspection (this was pre-fuel cell) and he was able to THEN start his engine and drive away. Smokey had found away OUTSIDE the rules -- not AGAINST the rules to get more gasoline in the car by having a longer fuel line.

Is that cheating?


There is a line out there somewhere. It's just that I'm not sure anyone cares where it is.

It's just easier to slam somebody by calling them a cheater.

12 Comments | Add a comment   categories: NASCAR, Nextel Cup, Jimmy Johnson, Jeff Gordon, Black Flag, NASCAR Mafia, Steroids, New England Patriots, Barry Bonds, Smokey Yunick
 
Is There a NASCAR Car 'Roids Scandal Brewing?
Nov 06, 2007 | 2:46PM | report this

Reports Say NASCAR Tests Then "Confiscates" Eleven Engines for Excessive Horse Power Following Texas

Two different reports now say that NASCAR found excessive horse power in the engines of eleven cars on Sunday including those driven by Chase leader Jimmie Johnson and second place Chase driver Jeff Gordon.

The Roanoke Times says the other cars involved include those driven by Chase drivers Martin Truex Jr., Tony Stewart, Jeff Burton, and Matt Kenseth as well as those of Ryan Newman, Dave Blaney, Kasey Kahne, Ricky Rudd and Brian Vickers.

The report at AutoRacingSport.com says the cars were all about 5% over the 750 HP limit (some where as high as 788 HP).

However, that is not a hard limit and engine horse power can change due to a variety of factors including weather, drafting and engine heat.

In the event NASCAR decides that over a quarter of the teams have replaced their watered down Sunoco gasoline with fuel from BALCO, the current Chase standings could be thrown into chaos.

If multiple teams found an "edge" that allowed them to "discover" extra horse power, the conspiracy theories will run amok within the Black Helicopter community and the debate among NASCAR fans over the definition of "cheating" will become heated and passionate.
10 Comments | Add a comment   categories: NASCAR, Jeff Gordon, Jimmy Johnson, Steroids, Cheating, NASCAR Mafia, Black Flag
 
The Winners of The Black Flag-DirecTV NASCAR Hotpass Contest....
Nov 06, 2007 | 1:28PM | report this

...Have Just Been Announced.

You can take a look at the full post over at Epic Carnival to get all the details.

Bloggers here at FoxSports.com HotFootLori and Frever3Fan did quite well in the competition. 

Also, I want to thank everyone who entered and all of our judges for their hard work on this contest.

Those judges are....

  • Queen of the NASCAR blogosphere TallGlassOfMilk.
  • Former New York Times NASCAR reporter and author of the new novel "Yellow Flag" Robert Lipsyte.
  • NASCAR media critic John Daly of The Daly Planet.
  • Chuxtory is on the panel.
  • We also have KLValus, winner of the FoxSports/Miller Lite NASCAR Next Great Sportswriter Contest.
This contest was something I certainly enjoyed doing and it is the kind of thing I'm hoping you will see more of from The Black Flag in the future.
3 Comments | Add a comment   categories: Black Flag, NASCAR, Rusty Wallace, NASCAR Mafia, DirecTV, Contest
 
Getting the Black Flag -- Part I
Nov 02, 2007 | 10:34AM | report this
CC Rider's Favorite Sports Posts of the Week


Some people think getting a black flag is a bad thing. Let's be real. A black flag is street cred. Besides, chicks don't dig the long ball, they dig the bad boys (and in your case, Sarah, the bad girls).

So I'm giving my favorite sports posts this week a black flag.

Odell v. Goodell
Sarah at Strike Zones and End Zones writes a piece for The Naughty American about Cincinnati Bengals linebacker Odell Thurman's suit against the NFL under the Americans with Disabilities Act, challenging his suspension by citing his alcoholism as a disability (tsk, tsk, Sarah -- writing for The Naughty American -- and I thought you were a good girl).

Jared Allen's Mullet Wins and Award
Someone who did NOT sue the NFL for his suspension for violating the league's substance abuse policy is Jared Allen. Allen was named AFC Defensive Player of the month and Arrowhead Addict reports Allen is now giving his mullet credit for the award. His mullet did it. Roger Goodell needs to get the #### man out to Arrowhead and check Allen's progress in recovery.

Baby Bull vs. Midget

I did not find this post from Chris over at Blog of Hilarity in any way shape or form funny or enjoyable. In fact, I'm really offended on behalf of the midget. And the poor baby bull. That's exactly why I'm linking it here.

The Chief's Power Rankings

The Chief provides his absolutely hilarious NFL power rankings for Hugging Harold Reynolds. MEMO TO SPORTS ILLUSTRATED AND THE NFL HALL OF FAME: Fire that fat pig Peter King and hire The Chief. Today.

KLValus is off to Texas Motor Speedway for Miller Lite and FoxSports.com
Winner of Miller Lite and FoxSports.com's version of a Florida election (somehow FoxSports.com completely screwed up and the right person won) and judge of The Black Flag-DirecTV NASCAR Hotpass Moment Contest at Epic Carnival has over drugged her patients for the weekend so she can head off to Texas Motor Speedway and hang with NASCAR bad boy Kurt Busch.

Two Words Redskins Fans Never Want to Hear Again: Heath Shuler
At First and Ten Inches
, the Ghost of Heath Shuler Stirs a QB Controversy in Miami during their quest for their second and greatest perfect season. Not sure which is scarier this Halloween week. Thoughts of Shuler and his room temperature IQ in the NFL or in Congress. A biopic of his life could be called dumb and dumber. The NFL is a thinking man's sport, but Shuler is right in his element in Congress.

5 Comments | Add a comment   categories: NASCAR, Jared Allen, NASCAR Mafia, Black Flag, Heath Shuler, Washington Redskins
 
Stick it to Rusty Part II: Contest Update
Nov 01, 2007 | 6:18PM | report this

The Saga of the 250 F-Bomb Entry.

The contest entries for The Black Flag-DirectTV NASCAR Hotpass Moment Contest are now in the hands of the judges.

Some of my favorites were one liners. We got some other solid entries that went a bit longer.

The one I thought was most clear and to the point sadly came in with bad contact information.

The writer simply f-bombed 250 times.

That all being said, what I liked doesn't matter, it is all up to the judges now.

Click here for the contest update at Epic Carnival.

8 Comments | Add a comment   categories: NASCAR, Nextel Cup, Rusty Wallace, Clint Bowyer, Nascar Mafia, Black Flag
 
Stick it to Rusty and Enter This Contest
Oct 22, 2007 | 8:54AM | report this
Don't Like the NASCAR Coverage? Here's Your Chance.

Does the current coverage have you steamed.

Here's a great opportunity to get it off your chest.

First off....

As of today I'm back as a fully functioning member of the NASCAR blogosphere.

The Black Flag is back and we're bringing it harder than ever with a great contest with great prizes (and of course having fun at the expense of some of NASCAR's rich and powerful sacred cows Black Flag style):

The Black Flag NASCAR Hotpass Moment Contest sponsored by DirecTV.

Here is how it works....

Submit your entry of 250 words or less on the following topic:

"The moment when ESPN/ABC made me wish I had DirecTV's NASCAR HotPass was when..."


An obvious example was when Rusty Wallace started talking about "Draft Lock". But there are so many more (you can reference the mythical "Draft Lock", but if you want to win, you need to bring so much more -- hey, you've go so much material to work with).

The judging criteria is humor, writing and creativity.

Speaking of judging....

The Black Flag has put together a great panel of five judges for this contest. Here they are:


The judges will not know who the entrants are during the judging process.

This contest is going to be fair and balanced. No hanging chads. No ballot box stuffing. No conflicts of interest. No Sanjaya.

Details

The contest HQ is over at Epic Carnival. Just click this link to get all the details, including rules, dates and how to enter.

Prizes

1. First Prize
One first prize of a DirecTV NASCAR Hotpass subscription and a 1:24 Scale Clint Bowyer die cast will be awarded.
2. Runner Up Prizes
There will be FOUR runner up prizes awarded. The runner up will receive their choice of either a DirecTV Pay-Per-View certificate ($40 value) or a 1:24 Scale Clint Bowyer die cast.

Once again, hit Epic Carnival to get all the details and enter.

I'm hoping to see the bloggers over here at FoxSports.com bring it strong.

UPDATE:  Canadian residents are now eligible.

23 Comments | Add a comment   categories: NASCAR, Nextel Cup, Black Flag, NASCAR Mafia, Clint Bowyer, Contest
 
Derek Fisher and Me II: Unbelievable
Oct 05, 2007 | 8:56AM | report this
What a Long, Strange Trip It's Been


Recently I wrote about my four year old son CJ being diagnosed with a rare form of cancer called retinoblastoma.

The disease is so rare -- 350 cases a year -- that only eight medical practices in the entire country have any real experience with it.

A bunch of things came together perfectly that made it so we could get CJ to one of those specialists: Dr. Carol Shields at Wills Eye Hospital in Philadelphia.

First, our ophthalmologist here in Richmond, Dr. Ed Wortham told us that this was the person CJ needed to see and we needed to do it right away. Initially, we didn't grasp why we couldn't take care of this here and had to go all the way to Philadelphia.

As we learned about retinoblastoma and what we were dealing with, we came to understand.

Sending us to the right place rather than trying to take care of it himself is something we'll be forever greatful to Dr. Wortham for.

Then family, co-workers and friends pulled together and helped make the finances and logistics possible for this to happen.

Having great insurance wasn't enough. Getting treatment like this at a drop of the hat meant a big upfront cost that we simply weren't prepared for. I'm pretty sure that very few people are.

The next very important thing that happened is that we were able to arrange to stay at the Ronald McDonald House in Camden, New Jersey.

There were literately thousands of people who were praying for CJ. Most of those people had never met CJ, my wife or me. My view is that we got a miracle by having those things that I just mentioned all happen and come together.

We went to Philadelphia with a really clear diagnosis. CJ had cancer of the retina.

It wasn't a maybe. There was reason to fear we hadn't gotten it in time to save his life. The best I was hoping for was that he was going to come out of this and begin chemotherapy. Losing one or both of his eyes was not out of the question.

When Dr. Shields examined him, we got a piece of news we didn't expect: CJ doesn't have cancer.

What he does have is another, equally rare "orphan disease" called Coats' Disease.

It is not life threatening. It does not spread and does not impact anything other than the one eye. It is a problem with the leaking of the blood vessels of the eye -- something that creates all kinds of deposits that damage the eye and vision.

CJ's loss of the central vision of his right eye is something we've been told is permanent. His right eye will give him depth perception and peripheral vision. We'll gratefully take that. We get to keep the kid.

When Dr. Shields gave us the news, I felt the same way I did the day he was born.

He had surgery (the first of three over the next year) to repair the blood vessels and stop further damage.

One of the things I can tell you is that CJ has been absolutely amazing in how he handled this whole thing. He did everything that was asked of him. Except for a bit of squawking about the stinging of the eye drops, he didn't complain about a bit of it. The kid showed a big heart and some real strength.

Here's the problem with Coats' Disease: it is frequently misdiagnosed as retinoblastoma. That leads to children losing their eyes and unnecessarily enduring chemotherapy.

Both RB and Coats look almost exactly the same. If we aren't able to get CJ to Dr. Shields, that is probably how things end up for him as well. The two diseases present almost exactly the same. So few doctors have any experience dealing with either.

Going from one of the worst days of your life to one of the best in less than five days is the wildest roller coaster ride I've ever been on. Make no mistake, it is a ride that took more than just a little out of me (my apologies for taking so long to get this post up).

It is also a ride that has changed me in so many ways.


When I wrote about this earlier, I talked about my commitment to helping parents be aware of what to look for. That commitment stronger than ever. So I'm going to say it again:


See the white glow in the left eye? That is the symptom. That's what to look for. Sure, it could be something else. But that is the number one way it is detected -- flash photography.

So if you see it in a child's photo, say something.

If you know someone who is a professional children's photographer, ask them to be on the lookout for this. People you know who work with children, tell them about this.

But most of all, if you have kids, look at their pictures.


If the child has RB, time matters. Time is everything.

Beyond that, if a child is diagnosed with RB, do whatever you have to do to get that kid to the right doctor. There are only a few of them. Make sure it is RB and not Coats. Dr. Shields is a great choice for both RB and Coats'.

Make no mistake, watching CJ go through this hasn't been easy. But since he has, good can come of this. My wife and I are going to do what we can to help get the information we've learned into the hands of other people where it can make a difference for some child and some family.

That's not the only impact it has had on me.

Going into this, staying at the Camden Ronald McDonald House was something I dreaded doing. Boy was I wrong.

The last thing I thought I wanted to do was deal with the tough times other people were having. What I ended up getting at RMH was strength. The staff there was amazing. The strength and attitudes I saw from some of the kids there blew me away.

The part that really stuck though was getting to talk to other Dads. Not only did that help me get through some of this, it turns out I was able to give back to some of them.

Many people have asked us what they can do.

Once again and most importantly, please do help make more people aware that white glow is something that needs checked out.

Next, if you want to do something more, do something for a Ronald McDonald House. The one in Camden is a great one and it is obviously pretty close to my heart. If there is one in your area, get some other people together, contact the house director and arrange to bring dinner in for the families one night.

It may seem like a pretty small thing to do, but I can tell you it will make a big difference in some lives at a tough time -- and it'll probably do something for you.

Finally, I think I'm pretty good at expressing my feelings (some would say a bit too good sometimes). But I simply don't have the words to express how much the outpouring of support from readers of this blog has meant to me and my family. Thank you so much.

One of the things in the future I'm really looking forward to is talking to CJ (when he is old enough to get it) about everything that has gone on. The prayers, concern, encouragement, hope and strength some of you gave us are going to be a big part of that story.

24 Comments | Add a comment   categories: NASCAR, Nextel Cup, Black Flag, NASCAR Mafia, retinoblastoma, Coats Disease
 
Derek Fisher and Me
Sep 21, 2007 | 8:34PM | report this

Not the Usual Black Flag-- This One is Serious, Personal and Potentially Life Saving.

UPDATE (3:47P.M. Eastern - 9/24):  CJ does NOT have retinoblastoma or any other form of cancer.  He is having surgery on Wednesday, but his condition is not in any way life threatening.  There is so much more to this, but I wanted to get this much out as soon as I could.  I'm going to try for a new post later tonight with more.

The outpouring of support we have gotten from this community is something we will never forget. 

On May 7th, point guard Derek Fisher missed the first game of the Utah Jazz's playoffs against the Golden State Warriors. He rejoined his team three days later in the middle of the third quarter during the second game in Salt Lake City.

Fisher provided a key fourth quarter turnover in that game and hit a three pointer in overtime to help the Jazz take a 2-0 lead over the Warriors.

Fisher had left a hospital in New York City that afternoon where his 10 month old daughter Tatum had just been diagnosed with and was being treated for a disease called retinoblastoma -- cancer of the retina. It is a rare, life threatening disease that only 350 children a year are diagnosed with in the United States.

On Wednesday this week, my four year old son CJ joined Tatum Fisher in being one of those 350 kids who will get that diagnosis this year.

Without a doubt, Wednesday was a day of shock. Thursday and Friday have been about reality.

To give you an idea of how rare this is, there are only eight medical practices in the entire country who deal with retinoblastoma.

The odds on having this disease are pretty close to what they were during a poker tournament when I flopped four 8's and had runners on the turn and river to lose to four jacks.

We live in Richmond, VA. On Monday we travel to Philadelphia to spend the day with one of those specialists.

As a longtime Redskins fan, I have a firm policy of not exposing my son to large numbers of Eagles fans.

But we've done our research, and we're very confident that this doctor is highly skilled and a real pioneer when it comes to dealing with this disease (even though it means dealing with this in the town that booed and threw snow balls at Santa Clause).

So, why am I writing about this?

Regular readers of The Black Flag come here expecting to read me goofing on somebody in NASCAR. This is a humor blog about NASCAR. In fact, right now I have the Kasey Kahne PR machine in meltdown over my Budman post, using paid shills to make comments on it.

Obviously, this piece isn't what you are used to getting here (although even in this post I couldn't stop myself taking a few shots).

The key to surviving retinoblastoma is early detection. That's the entire ballgame.

There is only one reason why we even had him checked out: my wife's cousin, Cheri saw something in a photograph. Then she said something about it.


Cheri can't even remember where she heard about this, but she just knew she had.

See the white glow in the left eye? That is the symptom. That's what to look for. Sure, it could be something else. But that is the number one way it is detected -- flash photography.

So if you see it in a child's photo, say something.

If you know someone who is a professional children's photographer, ask them to be on the lookout for this. People you know who work with children, tell them about this.

But most of all, if you have kids, look at their pictures.

Right now, we don't know for certain that we have caught CJ's in time. We think we have. We have a number of reasons to be optimistic we have. We'll probably know on Monday.

But the only reason we even know there is a problem is that somebody did him a life saving favor. So I need to do what I can to try and repay that favor to somebody else.

There are enough people who read TBF (by people I do mean in addition to the sports spy agency over at Sports Media Challenge that according to my log files monitors The Black Flag with the enthusiasm of the NSA keeping tabs on Al-Qaeda) to get the word out to make a life changing difference for somebody.

Sure, Derek Fisher has been able to reach far more people than I can, but I know I can get to a bunch he didn't. What I'd like to do is just get to the right one.

It's easy to do. It's just that very few people even know what to look for. I sure didn't. In CJ's case, nobody had even noticed any problems. He's an otherwise healthy kid and he's not in any pain.

As it stands now, CJ is coming into this as someone who has a fantastic attitude.

I've written before that about how his favorite NASCAR driver is somebody who handles himself at the track with a great attitude -- Jeff Burton.


CJ has some tough days coming down the road and they are coming real fast.

His attitude and that of everyone around him will are going to make a difference in how he comes out of this thing.

There are quite a few things we don't know right now, but one of the things we have been told is that he will be legally blind in his right eye for life.

As strange as it sounds, that's an outcome we'll happily accept. What matters is that he pulls through this. There are plenty of kids who have to face far, far worse.


As tough as this has been, we've been touched and amazingly blessed by so many people who have already reached out to help and have done so in ways we couldn't expect or didn't even know to ask for.

For those you who want to know what you can do to help....


First off, prayer helps, prayer matters. By my last count, the only deity who isn't getting an earful from a whole bunch of people about CJ is Mohammad. He can always use more.

If you are involved in an organization that helps with cancer, sick children, blindness, or something else that makes this a good fit and you want to get in touch with me, contact me through this link here (if you want to push some alternative medical therapy, please don't -- I promise you that my reaction to that will be something you won't enjoy).

At this point, we still don't know which way is up and what all he is going to need. So we don't know what to ask for. I might not have a clue about what all is going to happen next, but I already know we can't do this on our own.


We wouldn't even to be getting him what he needs on Monday without the help we've already gotten.

But more than anything else you can do, next time you see a picture of a kid, just take a look at the eyes. You might just save their life.


As you might gather, over the next week or two you probably won't be seeing as much from me as you normally would.

However, much to the chagrin of the NSA types at Sports Media Challenge (KGB types if they have any IRL clients), I will be back soon and bringing the smack and the funny down harder than ever.

54 Comments | Add a comment   categories: NASCAR, Retinoblastoma, Nextel Cup, Jeff Burton, Washington Redskins, Derek Fisher, Black Flag, NASCAR Mafia
 
Kasey Kahne's MILF Crisis: Part IV -- Bud Man
Sep 19, 2007 | 8:36AM | report this
Here's to Hoping Your Red Bud Gear has "Junior" or "8" on it.

This is a revised version of post that appeared here on July 12 that now contains additional content and reflects subsequent events.

The day of Junior's announcement that he was moving to Hendrick Motorsports, the craziest rumor to be aired on SPEED was that the Budweiser sponsorship could be moving to Kasey Kahne.

At the time, everyone thought, "Just a crazy rumor". I know I did.


There was no way would Bud give up their investment in the most popular driver in the sport. They've got super deep pockets. They will pay whatever they have to. They won't swap Junior for Kasey?

I had forgotten a line from one of my favorite movies....


Rumors are always true. Some of them just haven't happened yet.
-The Player (1992)
Now it has happened.

In July, ESPN's Terry Blount gave four reasons on NASCAR Now as to why Junior and Bud would split:
  1. Junior wants to market to kids and he can't do that with a beer sponsor.
  2. There is bad blood between Bud and Hendrick from when Bud left HMS for DEI in 1999.
  3. Pepsi can bring more money than Bud.
  4. Bud has a cheap deal for Junior now and the price will at least triple and no one at Anheuser-Busch has the balls to ask the board for the money.

Even more shocking than Bud dropping Junior is his replacement.

There is one thing no one has bother to explain. They didn't in July and they haven't since: how does Kasey Kahne fit with Bud? Is he even old enough to buy a beer?

Anyone who has worked in corporate America can't be very shocked that to discover gelding Pintos instead of Clydesdale studs populating the Anheuser-Busch executive suite.

But what are they thinking? Are they consuming too much of their own product? This is an amazingly radical image shift away from their core market.

Certainly, there are plenty of women who drink their fair share of Bud (how do you think guys get laid in college). But their primary market is male.

That is like replacing Clint Eastwood for Clay Aiken (or as Kathy Griffin from "My Life on the D List" calls him, Clay ####ken).

Don't get me wrong, I understand that Kasey Kahne has huge marketing appeal. There is no question that Kasey Kahne is the official pretty boy boy toy of NASCAR MILF Nation (although the hottest member of NASCAR MILF Nation is a bit out of step with some of the others preferring Denny Hamlin and Junior).

Also, Ashley Miller notwithstanding, as a pretty boy boy toy, he also has some pretty solid support among ####tona.com/">#### NASCAR fans.

Not that there is anything wrong with that (by that I mean being a pretty boy boy toy or being a #### NASCAR fan), but let's be honest here.

Kasey runs away from the Allstate crazy horny soccer moms and Junior stands up to crazy mutant desert guys.


In the words of Devine over at ####tona.com, "Kasey, watch out for anybody who suggests you are too pretty and need to grow a beard, pierce your chin, wear those awful ear-stretchers, or any other such. They be jealous, honey, cuz you look so fine."

We all have a pretty good idea what the crazy horny soccer moms are going to do once they catch Kasey and Ashley Miller won't be able to do a thing about it.

That's one thing. But when the crazy mutant desert guys get him, I don't know what they have planned, but I'm sure it's not going to be pretty.

Whenever you have a change this big, there are winners and losers. So, one question is, what are male NASCAR fans with Team Budweiser gear going to do?

In my post on the Richmond Indy car race, I kind of alluded to this issue.

Look, Kasey is a pretty boy boy toy. I####uy is wearing Kasey Kahne gear he he better be on the pit crew. If not, he's pretty much saying, "I want #### and I want it now."

Put on a Clint Eastwood shirt and you are saying something just a bit different than if you have a Clay Aiken shirt on. That's what we're talking about here.

Let me put this a different way. If you are a guy and you are a member of Junior Nation, the red Bud gear in your closet needs to be clearly identified as Junior gear.


If it doesn't, the next time you wear that gear to the track people are going to be thinking that what you have in your closet means you need to come out of the closet.

Don't even get me started on Bud gear with a picture of Kasey or a #9 on it.

That's why I say if you are going to by sports gear, go old school. Doesn't matter if it is NFL, NASCAR or anything else. The names, numbers and teams will change. Bench Racing with Steve and Charlie has a good guide for you.

Speaking of people who lose on this deal, the crazy horny soccer moms in the Allstate commercials are now in trouble.

NASCAR didn't have a problem with it when they did Tim Richmond wrong back in 1989. Today, they don't even notice the hypocrisy of ending the careers of anyone who has substance abuse issues while at the same time the sport is being partially funded by the deadliest and most abused substance in the world (alcohol).

Allstate probably can't do that with a straight face.

Having Kasey Kahne driving a car sponsored by a product that is responsible for a very high percentage of the claims they have to pay just won't pass the laugh test.

9 Comments | Add a comment   categories: NASCAR, Kasey Kahne, Dale Earnhardt Jr, Black Flag, NASCAR Mafia, NASCAR MILF Nation, Budweiser
 
NASCAR: NHIS Aftermath
Sep 18, 2007 | 2:11PM | report this
Bowyer Busts His Nut

Clint Bowyer is the guy who has never been laid, but finally manages to lose his virginity when it counts -- on prom night.

If there was ever a time for the #07 to go from boy to man, it would be the first race in The Chase. As is typical for how these things seem to work out, Sports Illustrated says Bowyer is dating the woman his fellow drivers would most want to ####.

As good as it was for Clint, the rest of us just kind of had to lay there and not fall asleep.

Eight days earlier, Richmond gave us the most exciting COT race yet. Richmond at night has become the new Bristol. Hard fighting, bumping and ####ing.

Sadly, the first race in The Chase didn't live up. One of the five most boring of the year.

Clint Bowyer started from the pole, led the most laps and won the race by a huge margin. No one else had anything for him.

Click here to read the full post at Epic Carnival.

4 Comments | Add a comment   categories: NASCAR, NASCAR Mafia, Black Flag, Tony Stewart, Juan Pablo Montoya, Clint Bowyer
 
IRL Goes Commie
Sep 12, 2007 | 11:57AM | report this
Drivers of the World, UNITE! IRL Guarantees Same Prize Money for All



From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs!

-Karl Marx


A report from SPEEDTV's Robin Miller says that all IRL drivers in 2008 will receive the same prize money regardless of finish.

Comrades, allow me to put this in clear terms that even the greediest capitalist swine can understand:

The heroic oppressed workers of Milka Duno's team will get the same check for running a race as the greedy capitalist pig who wins the race. Even though she is running 12 MPH off the pace and finishing dead last (due to various imperialist conspiracies).

IRL is pounding their shoe on the podium and telling NASCAR, "We will bury you."

While IRL fans will continue to keep track of who wins or loses on their own, The Black Flag has obtained this photo of the official trophy all IRL drivers will be receiving on the podium at the end of every race regardless of finish.

This new system is likely to only speed the recent tide of mass defections from IRL by certain corrupt, bourgeois, materialists who have been departing for NASCAR like they were Cuban baseball players.

As it stands now, the IRL starting grid in 2008 will be a great testament to the triumph of socialism and the superiority of open wheel racing.

Depending on decisions made in the coming weeks, the 2008 season may begin with as few as two of the six drivers who won an IRL race in 2007.

The removal of provocateurs who lack proper socialist commitment by taking so much for themselves can only strengthen the series.

In fact Sam Hornish, Jr., the first of the traitorous capitalists will be starting a NASCAR race this weekend in the imperialist state of New Hampshire.

The departure of Mrs. Dario Judd and the influence of her materialist husband Ashley to NASCAR in 2008 will do a great deal to quell the loud reactionary forces of capitalism in IRL.

The viscous attack Ashley Franchitti made against a great example of socialist success like Milka Duno when she referred to worker Duno as a member of a pack of "bloody sharks" illustrates how the IRL will be served by their exit.

These provocateurs who seek to exploit the workers of this glorious series in order to satisfy their own personal greed and NASCAR deserve each other.

This new system will lead the IRL to world racing domination as the drivers of the world unite and create a racing revolution.

NASCAR and their counter-revolutionary puppets need to heed the words of the ideological father of the IRL, Vladimir Ilyich Lenin: "The Capitalists will sell us the rope with which we will hang them."

Of course, it will be necessary to arrange for Gene Simmons to cut a version of L'Internationale to replace his overtly bourgeois I Am Indy theme song for IRL prior to the start of the 2008 season.

At that time, Simmons will be sent to a reeducation camp to correct his overtly capitalist tendencies since his publicly opulent life style simply does not conform to the values of the IRL.

43 Comments | Add a comment   categories: NASCAR, Black Flag, Nextel Cup, IRL, IndyCar, Danica Patrick, NASCAR Mafia, Milka Duno
 
The Juan Pablo 'Crash' Montoya Record
Sep 11, 2007 | 11:03AM | report this
Juan Pablo Montoya's Running Incident List

What is the real story with JPM?

I've done some digging and put together some stats and incidents.

Big picture, it isn't pretty. He has 28 NEXTEL Cup starts. He has had some kind of an incident in 19 of them and finished on the lead lap in only 11.

Not all the incidents listed here were caused by his rough, aggressive or sloppy driving. However, there is an astonishing pattern here.

Also significant, he has had incidents with (at least) the following 18 drivers (including eight of the 12 Chase drivers):

Harvick, Burton, Johnson, Hamlin, Stewart, Newman, Gordon, Raines, Ragan, Earnhardt, Kyle Busch, Sauter, Gillaland, Blaney, Wood, Nemacheck, McMurray, Edwards, McCumbee.

I'll be doing another post later on just exactly what all this means.


THIS ISSUE IS ABOUT A DRIVER AND THAT DRIVER'S RECORD. DEAL WITH ANY RACIST IGNORANCE AND INSECURITIES ON YOUR PART ELSEWHERE. IT HAS NO PLACE IN THIS DISCUSSION.



JPM NNCS Starts: 28
Races Finished Not On Lead Lap (NOLL): 17 (60%)
Incidents (INC): 19 (68%)
2007 Running on Lead Lap (ROLL): 4,799 of 7,399 (65%)

Listing of JPM Incidents:

  • Race 36 (2006). Homestead Miami, November 2006 - NOLL INC
    • JPM's first NEXTEL Cup start.
    • JPM begins tangling with Ryan Newman in the #12. The back and forth beating and ####ing results in Montoya's car in flames. Newman is "invited" to the NASCAR Hauler for a "chat" with race officials.
  • Race 2. February 25, Auto Club 500, California Speedway - NOLL
    • Finishes 248 of 250 laps.
  • Race 3. March 11, UAW-DaimlerChrysler 400, Las Vegas Motor Speedway - NOLL INC
    • Lap 10 -- Pit stops begin for fuel:
      Juan Montoya leads a group down pit road, but Montoya gets blocked in his stall by Tony Raines.
    • Lap 92 -- Juan Montoya gets completely sideways coming off Turn 2, brushes David Gilliland and saves it. By the time they get to Turn 3, Montoya passes Gilliland.
    • Finishes 265 of 267 laps.
  • Race 5. March 25, Food City 500, Bristol Motor Speedway - NOLL INC
    • Lap 119 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 3 -- David Ragan gets touched by Juan Montoya coming out of Turn 4. Ragan keeps his car from spinning or hitting anything.
    • Lap 136 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 4 -- Juan Montoya spins coming off Turn 2. He made contact with Tony Raines and slid to the inside wall, making slight contact to the nose. Dale Earnhardt Jr. got spun in the aftermath, but managed to stay on the lead lap.
    • JPM Finishes 497 of 504 laps.
  • Race 6. April 1, Goody's Cool Orange 500, Martinsville Speedway - INC
    • Spins the #96 Car of Tony Raines who drops from 9th to finish 20th. JPM finishes 16th.
  • Race 7. April 15, Samsung 500, Texas Motor Speedway - INC
    • Lap 240 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 5: Juan Montoya and Tony Stewart were side-by-side. Montoya got loose and hit Stewart forcing him to spin. Jimmie Johnson had nowhere to go and t-boned Stewart. Earnhardt and Kyle Busch are also taken out in the incident.
    • Montoya finishes 8th.
  • Race 8. April 21, Subway Fresh Fit 500, Phoenix International Raceway - NOLL INC
    • Gives the finger to a TV camera man for ABC's NASCAR in Prime Time. Is fined for the obscene gesture.
    • Completes 309 of 312 laps.
  • Race 9. April 29, Aaron's 499, Talladega Superspeedway - NOLL INC
    • Running ninth when he slaps the wall on lap 162. He eventually finished 31st, five laps down.
    • Finishes 187 of 192 laps.
  • Race 10. May 6, Crown Royal Presents 400, Richmond International Raceway - NOLL INC
    • Lap 119 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 5: Tangles with #12 Ryan Newman again. Juan Montoya and Johnny Sauter both in the Turn 2 wall hard after Montoya gets bumped by Ryan Newman and moves Montoya up the track into Sauter.
      Lap 372 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 14: Ward Burton and Ricky Rudd get together in Turn 3 and both drivers hit the wall. Tony Stewart, A.J. Allmendinger and Martin Truex Jr. also gets caught up in the crash. Dave Blaney and Juan Montoya both spin but suffer no damage.
    • Completes 399 of 400 laps.
  • Race 11. May13, Dodge Avenger 500, Darlington Raceway - NOLL INC
    • Lap 299 -- Jimmie Johnson is all over leader Denny Hamlin, but contact from the slow car of Montoya keeps him from making the pass.
    • Completes 365 of 367 laps.
  • Race 12a. May 20, All Star Open, Lowe's Motor Speedway - NOLL INC
    • Montoya causes a major wreck in turn two of lap one. He puts Gillaland, Blaney, Wood, Nemacheck, Menard and himself in the garage.
    • JPM finishes 0 of 80 laps.
  • Race 12. May 27, Coca-Cola 600, Lowe's Motor Speedway - NOLL INC
    • Lap 53 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 2: Is involvedin a 15 car wreck on lap 54 when Jimmy Johnson's tire comes apart. JPM finishes 28th.
    • Finishes 369 of 400 laps.
  • Race 13. June 4, Autism Speaks 400, Dover International Speedway - NOLL
    • No significant incidents, but finishes only 395 of 400 laps.
  • Race 15. June 17, Citizens Bank 400, Michigan International Speedway - NOLL INC
    • Lap 69 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 2: Crash gets into the wall, bringing out the yellow and ending his day. Amazingly, this is his first DNF of the season. He finished 43rd.
    • Completes 67 of 200 laps
  • Race 16. June 24, Toyota/Save Mart 350, Infineon Raceway INC
    • Lap 32 -- Juan Montoya gets into Jimmie Johnson and makes contact putting Johnson sideways and loose. Johnson recovers in order to return the favor with a slight bump. They are running 12th and 13th.
    • Crash takes the win. He is now officially in the "checkers or wreckers" club.
  • Race 17. July 1, Lenox Industrial Tools 300, New Hampshire International Speedway INC
    • On lap 106 Hamlin found himself three wide with Tony Stewart and Juan Pablo Montoya with the three cars running out of track, Montoya made contact with the left rear fender of Hamlin. At first the damage caused concern in the #11 pit but it was soon clear it wasn't affecting performance and would not require any repairs. With traffic tight and handling an issue, it was taking Hamlin as much as 15 laps to complete passes and take position. Hamlin went on to win the race in spite of the damage.
  • Race 18. July 7, Pepsi 400, Daytona International Speedway - NOLL INC
    • Lap 56 -- Juan Montoya gets loose and makes contact with Kevin Harvick coming off Turn 4. Harvick bounces off the wall and drops back with a smoking tire rub.
    • Lap 132 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 6: Spin near the back of the field involving John Andretti, Bobby Labonte and Juan Montoya. David Reutimann slapped the wall, Labonte tried to avoid it and Montoya had nowhere to go.
    • Finishes 157 of 160 laps.
  • Race 22. August 12, Centurion Boats at The Glen, Watkins Glen International NOLL INC
    • Lap 75 -- RED FLAG: Harvick: "I just got run over. It all goes up in smoke because people gets impatient. The No. 42 seems like he runs over someone every week." How do you feel about Montoya: "I was talking about kicking his ####is how I felt about it ..."
      Montoya: "I got out of the car and told Kevin it wasn't my fault. He comes and starts saying things and I don't appreciate that. I tried to tell him, 'Dude, if it's not my fault, don't push me around like that.' "
    • YELLOW FLAG NO. 7: In Turn 1, Montoya slams into Harvick and then several other cars pile in. Harvick and Montoya climb from their cars and Montoya pushes Harvick in the helmet. Teammate Jeff Burton comes over to try to break it up.Jamie McMurray and Burton both end up with heavy damage.
    • Lap 56 -- Hamlin and Montoya make contact, as Montoya goes wide in a corner while running 10th but loses no positions.
    • Lap 52 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 4: Reed Sorenson spins and can't get it refired. Before that, Jimmie Johnson gets tapped by Juan Montoya and Johnson goes around in a huge cloud of smoke.
    • JPM finishes 72 of 90 laps.
  • Race 23. August 21, 3M Performance 400, Michigan International Speedway - NOLL INC
    • Lap 15 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 2: Juan Montoya gets loose and spins but doesn't hit anything. Joe Nemechek and Chad McCumbee also spin as a result.
    • Finishes 202 of 203 laps.
  • Race 25. September 2, Sharp AQUOS 500, California Speedway - NOLL INC
    • Lap 16 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 2: Montoya has a pit road crash with Carl Edwards.
    • Finishes 247 of 250 laps.
  • Race 26. September 8, Rock and Roll 400, Richmond International Speedway - NOLL INC
    • Lap 242 -- YELLOW FLAG NO. 8: Ryan Newman spins and collects Kurt Busch and Juan Montoya. Montoya's No. 42 is on fire in the infield.
    • Completes 241 of 400 laps.
In 27 2007 races counting the All Star Open, JPM has finished on the lead lap in 11 and not on the lead lap in 16-- a mere 40% of his finishes are on the lead lap.

Montoya has had some kind of incident at: Homestead (November 2006), Las Vegas (March), Bristol (March), Texas (April), Phoenix (April), Talladega (April), Richmond (May), Lowes All Star Open, Lowes 600, Michigan Citizens Bank 400 (June), Infineon, New Hampshire (June), Daytona Pepsi 400, Watkins Glen, Michigan 3M Performance 400 (July), California (September), Richmond (September). That is something in 19 of his first 28 races -- an amazing 68%. In 2007 it is 18 of 27 or 67%.
25 Comments | Add a comment   categories: NASCAR, Nextel Cup, Juan Pablo Montoya, Black Flag, NASCAR Mafia
 
TBF Gets a New Home: www.NASCARBlackFlag.com
Sep 04, 2007 | 2:46PM | report this


If Gibbs and Junior Can Make Big Changes, CCR Thinks The Black Flag Should Too.

The Black Flag Blog now has a new home. In geek speak, we are now running off the domain NASCARBlackFlag.com.

Our RSS feed is still good (if you haven't signed up for the TBF RSS feed, this is a great time to do it by clicking here) and the old BlogSpot.com address will still get you to the right place.

Also, TBF Outpost at FoxSports.com will continue on as it has been promoting the success of The NASCAR Mafia while denying it exists at the same time.

IF YOU HAVE LINKS TO The Black Flag....


Please update them at your earliest convenience.

Many thanks and AliG Style Big Ups to Dan Williams over at LugNuts Online who made this move happen. Respect.

If you haven't yet, you can catch LugNuts live at 10:00 P.M. on Sundays or listen to the recorded show from the archives any time.

In an amazing display of poor judgment, the LugNuts crew invited CCR on their show for an interview. They have since compounded their error by having him back on a weekly basis to cause even more chaos.

8 Comments | Add a comment   categories: NASCAR, Nextel Cup, Black Flag, NASCAR Mafia