I read an article recently By Miracle (I believe) that reflected on the life and death of Cory Lidle. In the article he asked a seemingly simple question, how does the death of a sports hero affect you personally? I attempted to write a post about the issue a couple of nights ago but when I went back to proof read it, it just didn't say the things that I wanted to relay. When I think about how the death of a sports personality affects me, I can only remember the day that I lost one of my all-time sports heroes in a very unusual and tragic way. It was October 25th 1999 (wow, has it really been seven years already?)

At the time of the accident I was living in a rural area in Iowa, I remember hearing the reports that Payne Stewart was aboard a plane that had inexplicitly veered off course and was flying northwest, what was worse is the fact that the crew was not responding to radio contacts.

As the day progressed, the news reports kept coming. I remember working out in the fields, all of a sudden I stopped and climbed down off the tractor and I removed my ball cap and stared up into the sky.

Where I grew up, there is a vast expanse of sky that fills your senses, as far as the eyes could see in every direction there was nothing to obstruct your view of the sky. I remember lying on my back at night, watching the trillions of stars and wondering how massive the universe must be. Shooting stars were commonplace and I loved the indescribable sunsets that I grew up watching, every single one of them awed me…wow how I miss the country life!!

That day, in that field I stared at those familiar skies for an entirely different reason, a reason that was surreal, it seemed like a story out of a dime store novel. The reports were saying that the plane was moving over Iowa and I could not help but to wonder if he was up there.

Payne Stewart was my alltime favorite golfer, that doesn’t really even come close to saying it though, I followed him like so many fans follow Tiger today, with a passion.

On that October day I still remember thinking the same thought over and over again, “this cannot be happening!”

News reports were saying that fighter jets noticed that the windows were frosted over. Analysts said that basically the plane was a flying tomb, the frosted windows were a sure sign that the plane had lost cabin pressure and those onboard the still flying plane were dead.

I was 30 years old at the time and I remember feeling as though I had an elephant sitting on my chest as I fought back the tears. How could this be happening?

Eventually the plane came down near a small South Dakota town called Mina, I saw the wreckage…and I saw the golf clubs…slowly I got up, I turned off the T.V and grabbed a few beers as I headed outside.

That was the worst day I have ever experienced as a sports fan.

No more scanning the paper to see if he made the latest cut, no more pulling my hair out of my head while watching this amazingly talented golfer implode on the last day of a Major, no more watching that truly perfect swing, and for a long time, it was no more golf for me, it was just to painful to watch, knowing he should be out there.

Payne Stewart was born in Springfield Missouri. He went to Southern Methodist University. In 1982 Stewart got his first PGA card and won the Quad Cities Open that year.

Throughout his career Payne Stewart won three Majors, the 1989 PGA Championship and the 1991 and 1999 U.S. Open. The thing that most people remember about Payne is the fact that he was so gifted as a golfer that he routinely finished in the top ten in the Majors, in fact fifteen times he finished in the top ten and four of those he ended up second. The big issue is the fact that he led so many of these majors on the last day only to come up short, many people have wondered just how a golfer is so gifted that he consistently contended for titles and yet repeatedly failed to bring home the hardware.

I am saddened by the simple fact that after a few years of really struggling with his game, Payne Stewart was finally coming back. I repeatedly scoured the boxscores week in and week out to see if he made the latest cut only to be disappointed, to coin a phrase from the movie "The Legend of Bagger Vance", Payne had lost his swing...and he needed to go out and find it!

Finally at long last he started making the cuts again, eventually he started contending and even had yet another last day breakdown at the Masters. Winning the U.S. Open was the culmination of one of the greatest career comebacks that golf has ever seen. Think of David Duval and seeing him return to glory in the next year or so and that is what Payne Stewart did.

It is not ironic that the man regained his glory right before the end. Instead of being a sports trivia question, the fact that he was once again elite made this front page news and has impacted golf fans around the world.

I will never forget seeing him sink that long put to win the 1999 U.S. Open, I leapt from my recliner with both fists thrust into the air shouting at the top of my voice, I had no clue what was about to take place. I miss him, I was an avid fan even in his struggles I was a follower and I am grateful that I was able to witness his incredible rebirth!

-I know that most of you have heard about "the incident" in Orlando.  Hooman Hamzehloui was a season ticket holder and avid fan of the Orlando Magic.  The Magic were hosting the Houston Rockets when something bizarre happened, when the dust settled Hooman had lost his season tickets (he got a refund) and he has been banned from watching any NBA game live.  Hooman was heckling the Rockets and started screaming at reserve center Dikembe Mutombo and called him a "####".  After facing the wrath of the NBA and his hometown team, it seems that Hooman sent a letter of apology to Dikembe that stated  "I am by no means a racist, if you only knew me better you would never begin to have those thoughts".  Okay then, I am a 37 year old white man who can state for a fact that you would be far more likely to see me walking naked around the block while pushing my baby in his stroller than to ever hear me call another human being a "####".  Even still, it was a nice letter of apology...for a racist.

-Last night the Chicago Bulls took on the Miami Hurricanes in an exhibition game and simply destroyed the undermanned squad by the score of....ummmm...excuse me for a second,  Oh, wow, it seems that the editor of this blog has informed me that my information is wrong.  The Bulls actually defeated the World Champion Miami Heat last night by the score of 108-66, my apologies, the score had me a little confused.

-Mike Tyson has stated that he is willing to fight against women...I realize that there is a punchline here but I ain't biting...okay now I know there is another great punchline but I will fight the urge!!!

-John L. Smith is going to finish out this season at Michigan St and then be fired.  It seems that losing a sixteen point lead in the fourth quarter against Notre Dame and then getting blasted by an improving yet still bad Indiana team by the score of 46-21 is too much.  Defenders will say that he led the team to the greatest comeback in NCAA football history and then realize that the fact that they were THAT far behind Northwestern in the first place is yet another reason for the firing.

-I can no longer watch Maria Sharapova play tennis, the way she screams and groans makes me feel like I am cheating on my wife!

-Ron Artest seems to have turned over a new leaf.  He credits his the#### for the unexpected yet much appreciated turn around in his attitude, he stated recently "I would like to thank a man who has taught me to see life with a much brighter perspective, Stuart Smalley you have made a difference in my life and I thank you!"

-Bill Cower said recently that we should not blame Big Ben for the Steelers woes but instead blame him....okay then, that was easy.

-Curtis Martin is going to be out for the season and yet he refused to call it a career.  Either way, his career is over he just can't see it yet. I for one consider him the quietest superstar in sports over the past ten years and I hope his path to Canton is an easy one.

-Harold Reynolds is suing ESPN for wrongful termination, it seems that he hugged the lady in question and they even went out to dinner that evening.  To make matters worse the lady waited three weeks before filing a complaint.  My only question is can I sue ESPN for firing Reynolds?  He was the best thing about Baseball tonight and they left us with John Kruk and Tino Martinez?  These guys would do a better job of discussing the dos and don'ts of seperating thier laundry! Egads.

-Has the steroid issue gone away yet? No? Thanks alot Mota now we're still stuck in that rut!

I told you it was nuthin special, what did you expect?? 

     It seems that Kurt Warner is going to call it quits after the conclusion of this season.  He stated recently that he would rather retire than sit around as a backup.  I am saddened by the news for one reason, the man gave the team that I love and the city in which I live an incredible and unexpected joy ride.

     You all have heard the story, the former division AA quarterback who played in small town Iowa takes the NFL world by storm and left everyone wondering the same thing, Sports Illustrated summed it all up on the cover of a 1999 issue with the caption "Who is this guy?"

     Let me set the table for you, in 1999 there was not one single die hard fan of the Rams who can honestly say that they expected anything out of that team.  We had the worst record in the NFL in the 1990s and very little hope was on the horizon other than the fact that we signed Trent Green and Marshall Faulk to contracts and perhaps we could fight it out for an 8-8 record which for most Rams fans would be a welcomed sight.

     Trent Green went down with a nasty injury in preseason and the backup quarterback was also down with injury.  The only option left for coach Vermiel was the third string nobody that went by the name of Kurt Warner.  Vermiel was in tears over the Trent Green situation and stated that he only hoped that Warner could bring the team a win or two until the return of backup Paul Justin.  So just how unexpected was the 1999 Superbowl victory when the coach is actually hoping for a speedy return of Paul Justin?

     Warner grew up in Burlington Iowa and went on to play for the University of Northern Iowa, this is where my love for Warner began, far before most others, you see I had a paper route that went through the heart of the campus and thus it was my stomping grounds.  He only started his senior year and yet garnered the Gateway Conference Player of the Year Award.  He tried out for the Green Bay Packers in 1994 and was cut.

     Now the infamous Hy-Vee tale.  Warner worked at the Hy-Vee food store on University Ave. in Cedar Falls Iowa....the store where I bought my groceries, he also played basketball in a city league in which I briefly (injury) played.  I knew of him from UNI but back then, nobody knew what was coming.

     Warner signed a contract with the Iowa Barnstormers of the Arena football league where he led the team to the Arena Bowl in both 1996 and 1997 proving once again that when given the change, he was a winner. 

     Then came 1999 I remember that season like it was last yesterday, so freaking unexpected.  After we won the Superbowl I still felt that "what in the heck just happened" feeling.  It was so surreal!

     Warner was the NFL MVP and the Superbowl MVP joining a select group in doing so.  The one thing that all of the experts kept saying was "he is so incredibly accurate"!

     After his MVP season, Warner started 2000 even hotter, he threw for over 300 yards in his first six games thus joining Steve Young as the only quarterbacks in the history of the NFL to do so.  Then Warner was injured and missed much of the remaining season.

     In 2001 it seemed that the Kurt Warner of old was alive and well, he won his second MVP award after throwing 36 touchdowns and throwing for 4800 yards.

     When the 2002 season started, nobody expected Warner to falter, noone was aware that the demise of Warner was about to begin.

     Warner injured a finger on his throwing hand and as courageous as it might have been, his decision to play through the injury was the beginning of the end.  Most experts say that the one thing that stood out most to them was that he had an obvious loss of velocity and his reputation as one of the most accurate passers in history was falling by the wayside.

     Warner was released by the Rams  in a salary cap move, he signed with the New York Giants where he gave way to Eli Manning and then he signed with the Arizona Cardinals where he recently gave way to Matt Lienart.  Warners career seems to be over. 

     I realize that many people have written Warner off as a product of the system, the "greatest show on turf"!  My question to you is this, where was this show before Warners emergance and where has it gone since his departure?  When Warner was at his best his numbers were comparable to the greatest quarterbacks to ever toss the pigskin, even today he is the most accurate passer in the history of the NFL with a completion percentage 65%.

     Warner will be missed, for the enexpected gift that he gave to the city of St. Louis and Rams fans everywhere he will always be an icon or dare I say it, a legend.

     His time is over, that has become clear to even his biggest fans, but his legacy is written in stone.

     Wow!!!!!!!  For the first time since I was 13 years old and still dreamin about Farrah Fawcett I have the unexplainable joy of knowing that my beloved Cardinals are World Champions!!!

     I will have to punish myself tomorrow for my horrific celebration plans.  When Wainwright struck out Inge I leapt from my bed and screamed at the top of my lungs!!!  Only to realize that I had my 18 month old baby asleep in the room next to me and I disturbed his slumber.  Thus my celebration was rather short lived.

     CARDS WIN!!!!!!!!  I cannot explain the exuberance...such a long wait and oh so worth it!

     Detroit will be back, they have an incredible pitching staff that is very young and it showed at times in the series but they will learn and then watch out. 

     For my beloved Cardinals, this was a must win series as we are set to face some difficult decisions concerning some of our key players!

    CARDS WIN YAHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

     Wow, bases loaded and we walk away empty handed, it has the makings of game to already! 

     I am telling you now, I am not putting the cart in front of the horse!  I am not putting my pants on before I pull on those now famous leopard skin bikini briefs!  Most of all I am NOT claiming victory for my beloved St. Louis Cardinals just yet!

     I am excited...ecstatic....I can almost taste it!!!  Except for one itty bitty detail that is keeping my head on straight and leaving me grounded.  That itty bitty detail is this, 1985, the Cardinals were up 3-1 over the Kansas City Royals and a life lesson was discovered....it ain't over till it's over!!

     I still remember the pain, and THAT call, I remember watching as the series went from jubilation to desperation to heartbreak.

     I keep thinking to myself, could it be possible?  Could we bring home the title?  Well the answer is yes to both questions!  But it could also be possible that the end result will be heartache.

     I can tell you this, St. Louis is ready to explode, we have waited long enough and I realize that the Tigers are the sentimental choice for most baseball fans, heck, I honestly cannot think of a better story than watching the Tigers win the Series, but not at the expense of the Cardinals, we already lived that feel good story with the Red Sox and it was nice to see then win, but it still hurt!  The Tigers are deserving for sure, but understand that the Cardinals are deserving too, it has been twenty-four years..I was in the seventh grade when we last won...now I am 37 with a wife and two kids with another on the way...now would be a good time!!!

     I guarantee you this, if the Tigers come back to #### the title and claim it for thier own, I will be one of the first to start congratulating my Tiger fan blogging buddies because after all, it is not life and death, it is a game...a very serious..emotionally attached game...but still a game!

     My palms are sweaty...

     

     I have been wondering what the landscape in the sports world might look like if I somehow had a magic mirror or a genie bottle to make my biggest sports wishes a reality.  I am growing tired of certain sports situations and I think it would be beneficial if some of the tired themes came to an end and the sports world could celebrate an entirely new landscape than what they have grown used to.

     I must point out that this is a completely unbiased wishlist even though it is mine.....okay, not completely but hell, I am well wishing the Cubs so thats says a hell of a lot!!

-Let me get this out of the way first and foremost, I wish for the Cardinals to win the World Series this year, I have waited long enough dammit!!

-I wish that something would happen that allowed Mark Cuban to buy his hometown Pittsburgh Pirates.  In case you have not heard, Cuban inquired about buying the team because he is weary of watching them suck year in and year out and he was rejected.  If I were a Pirates fan I would boycott anything to do with the team in order to force the selling of the team!

-I wish the New Orleans Saints would win the Super Bowl this year..no matter who you are, that would be an awesome story.

-After this season, I wish the next five World Series Champions would be,  Chicago Cubs, Detroit Tigers,Pittsburgh Pirates, Kansas City Royals and then the Tampa Bay Devil Rays... how wierd would that be huh?

-I wish Mike Tyson would just disappear.

-I wish that Bobby Labonte would win the Nextel Championship.

-I wish some new dominating heavywieghts would appear in the boxing world and restore this pathetic wieght class to its former glory.

-I wish the next truly great heavywieght would be white.

-I wish the next great male American tennis player would be black. (Blake?)

-I wish that dumbasses would realize that there is nothing wrong with either of the previous two wishes..perhaps then we might finally be getting somewhere.

-I wish the Iowa Hawkeyes would finally win a National Title that really counts..you know in mens basketball or football.

-I wish that the NCAA Division one football would pull thier heads out of thier #### and start a playoff!  The only major sport in the freaking world to be decided by guessing games and I am getting pretty damned tired of it!

-I wish Payne Stewart was still alive..(post forthcoming) I miss him very much!

-I wish West Virginia would schedule a tougher preseason so I could actually believe they are THAT good.

-I wish the Williams sisters would dominate like they used to.

-I wish the Boston Celtics would regain thier past glories...I'm tired of waiting.

-I wish the Yankees would trade thier high priced talent and build an immense farm system...wait, what the hell am I saying, I hate the Yanks, if they do that then they win multiple championships!

-I wish all of my wishes would come true!!!!!!!

Peace and blog on!!!

     Alrighty then, it seems that there is a fairly big series going on in the baseball world, has anyone noticed?  It seems that the watered down so called "media" has once again gotten sidetracked by thier ongoing pursuit of tabloid sports journalism. 

     I already addressed the Rogers situation from my perspective in a prior post, I am a lifelong rabid Cardinals fan and I stated that the "tabloid sports journalists" have once again gotten sidetracked and that it seems that noone thinks that it is really that big of an issue other than those dweebs looking to make a name for themselves outside of the game facts.  I for one am tired of it.

     I wonder if anyone understands what is going on with this series.  In my mind I have not heard much about the real story.  The real headlines should be focusing on one very cool fact, the fact that both the Cardinals and the Tigers are seeking thier first World Series title in almost a quarter of a century.  I would think that would be news worthy in its own right.

     From this point on I would hope that we can end the madness, stop speculating, if it was a real issue then Larussa would have acted, if not then he blew it bigtime!  He did nothing and thus it meant nothing. 

     I am salivating over the idea of watching my beloved Cards winning thier first title since I was in middle school!  If we lose then it is not the end of the world because the Tigers have had long sufferring fans and to tell you the truth, I like the idea of watching a team with such rich history and tradition finally reclaim some of thier greatness.

     Of course with that said I must say this.....PLEASE GOD PLEASE!!!!! CARDINALS WIN THE SERIES!!

     Is it just me?  Has anyone else wondered the same thing?  Don't ya think it seems kinda strange? 

     Kenny Rogers is no spring chicken, he has been around the bigs for something like 18 years or so and yet nobody ever really paid him any attention.  He was a jouneyman pitcher, a junkballer if you will.  He was pretty solid but by no means was he a stud.  Now he is all anyone seems to want to focus on. 

     It all started with the "cameraman incident", that is when most fans were really introduced to "the gambler".  It was a notorious incident that brought the fire and brimstones down upon him like a two ton brick.  I remember my rage, what an ####!  Then came the insane autograph seeker a few weeks ago who tried everything he could to enrage Rogers, pushing more buttons than I could ignore if I were in that situation and I for one was impressed, he really seemed to learn his lesson.

     Now the "pinetar incident". 

     In case you are not aware of the situation, last night Kenny Rogers was found to have a substance on the palm of his hand that the umpire ruled to be dirt and he instructed Rogers to go wash his hands.  The only problem is that upon doing a little research, Kenny had the same "dirt" on his palm in all three of his playoff starts.  Nobody is stupid enough to honestly believe that as irony....are they?

     Here is my question, is Kenny a cheater?

     I realize that it seems like an easy answer, but I am not so sure of that.

     I am a rabid Cardinals fan and I have to say that I do not see this as a big deal.  I have many reasons for it, one is simply the fact that the team that I love and follow seems to be fine with the situation and guess what people, if it was a big deal then I would take a wild guess and say that beings that it is the freaking World Series they would most likely have a major problem with it...they do not.

     I also have heard countless baseball "experts" address the situation and they all say in a united voice that if it is in fact pinetar, there is not nearly enough of it to alter the flight of the baseball, it seems that the only purpose for using it is to have a better grip on the baseball in cool evenings. 

     I seriously do not think that Rogers is a cheat, in my mind what I see him as is this....a seasoned starting pitcher who is on one hell of a role right now.  Also if you look back at his career, it is filled with extended periods of brilliance, he often times has gone two or three months of pitching the type of games that he has been doing lately.    I like to call it the "Suppan effect", a pitcher who goes through horrible spurts throughout a season and yet for long periods of time in the same season he looks like a Cy Young candidate.

     What do you think?  In your honest opinion, do you think that Rogers is a cheater?  After all, he did wash his hands and went on to throw one hell o####ame.

     I have been a part of Foxblogs almost since it was created last year.  I remember so many great bloggers that have gone elsewhere and no longer give us the priviledge of reading thier posts.  I was reading one of Socals posts earlier and MeanD said something that really made an awful lot of sense to me (that is no surprise to most).  MeanD stated that he spends most of his time "giving of himself" by commenting on countless posts that he reads.  Everyone knows that MeanD is one of, if not the most articulate and well spoken writers in this forum and everytime he posts it is like reading something in a magazine, and yet he chooses to encourage others by commenting on thier stuff rather than write his own stuff.

     I have pretty much been on the other end of the spectrum, I always comment on those that I consider to be in my "crew" and rarely do I comment elsewhere unless I get provoked.  With that being said, I have realized that many great writers have come along and I barely noticed. 

     One thing that I have noticed is that NOBODY is commenting.  Almost constantly I see a new post and I like it, they make the Most Recent Comments list with two comments and four hours later they are still there with the same two comments!

     I would like to say that a few of the newer bloggers that I have read and commented on and I think they are worth a look are, Bubbahotep, Brianblack and Wiseguy' they are a few that immediatly come to mind. 

     Here is where I would like us to unite, lets take the time to leave comments to those posts that we read and enjoy.  It serves a real purpose by encouraging new bloggers to write and keeps the disgruntled bloggers from leaving because they think that they are wasting thier time.

     This is not a personal thing, I have had a solid standing in Foxblogs for a long time and get good feedback.  It is an attempt to get the lazy blogger to leave comments.  I know I read tons of posts and even if I like them I do not let the blogger know, that will change for me.

     Another way of encouraging the newer bloggers is to add them to your favorite list, I added Bubba, Brian and Wiseguy a while ago and I am sure it encourages them to know that I enjoy what they write.

 

     I wrote a comical post about a week ago that simply stated that nobody was giving my beloved Cardinals any chance to win in the NLCS, I simply asked that people would realize that the door was not shut on the possibility of a Cardinals victory.  Dayn Perry, I can almost hear you now as you claim that the Cards do not belong in the series, but guess what? There is a little thing called earning it and the Cards did just that! 

     I realize that the Mets were decimated by injuries, but the Cardinals were too, it was a crazy series in so many ways and I am elated that the hometown team was able to pull off the victory!! 

     Endy Chavez made an insane grab to rob Rolen of a home run and when I saw that I really thought that the gods were leaning towards New York, wow, what a catch!  Suppan pitched yet another brilliant game and deserves far more respect than people are giving him, his overall numbers are no great but he had the second lowest era of any starter in baseball since the all-star break and has continued his incredible play in the playoffs!! 

     Wow, what a great night to live in St. Louis!!  I think I will let my crew off early tomorrow, a little extra weekend if you will.

     Ironically, could we be the Miracle Mets of 2006??

     I do not care what part of this planet you live on, it is a proven fact that every man in the universe has claimed a personal cry for himself to fend off the constant barrage of accusations presented by ones spouse. 

     In the case of my brother, his mantra is a simple "yes dear,".  But that simply does not fly in my world.  When I do something stupid I stick to the one thing that seems to work best in my scenerio, "the beer made me do it!"

     I realize that this ploy will not work for everyone but that is a non issue, I am sure you have figured out your own cry for mercy by now.

     In my world it all started before I was married.  All of my buds were harrassing me with various comments such as "why in the hell do you wanna get married?"  or "Why buy the cow when you are getting the milk for free?"  My response?  "The beer made me do it!"

     In reality though, my wife is the best thing that ever happened to me, she settled me down, she gave me roots and by the way, she has just enough freaky in her to keep me salivating lmao!!

     I arrived home tonight from yet another killer day on the job and I could not help myself, I wondered how many "the beer made me do it" moments have we seen in sports recently?

-George Stienbrenner was asked why in the world he took on Alex Rodriguezs' record setting contract.  After a few mumbled qoutes such as "well he looks kinda pretty in pinstripes", or "well we did get a little money from the Rangers you know", he finally belted out loud and clear, "THE BEER MADE ME DO IT!"

-When asked recently why he ridiculed a visually impaired fan while he was watching a baseball game, former Fox announcer Steve Lyons rambled on about certain things such as "wait till ya see what I got planned for Lou Piniella!"  or "I was doing play by play at a baseball game, do you realize how hard that is?"  Finally he let it out, "THE BEER MADE ME DO IT!

-When asked why he was so complimentery towards his team after they got involved in a shameful riot with Florida International, Larry Coker stated in quite an arrogant tone, "What in the hell is the problem? It's not like it was Florida State you know!"  also "We didn't kill anybody did we?  That is a positive!"  Then he shamefully muttered those magical words, "the...beer.....made me....do......it."

-When Brian Vickers was asked about spinning out Earnhardt Jr and his teammate Jimmy Johnson on the last lap of last weeks race, he commented "I was just trying to help Johnson, he is my teammate and I just got a little low on him!"  When this excuse did not quelch Johnsons fury, Vickers was quoted as saying, "oops, did I do that?"  At long last he admitted that the beer made him do it.  Upon further inspection he was issued a breathalizer test and passed with flying colors and thus Jimmy Johnson is still pissed.

-When Tiger Woods was asked why he is winning golf tournaments at a record setting pace and yet keeps getting his #### kicked in the Ryder cup, he responded, "the answer is quite simple to tell you the truth, I do not get to cash a massive check if I do well in the Ryder cup!"  In an attempt to help Tiger save face, a compassionate reporter responded "are you sure it wasn't the beer that made you do it?"  Tiger responded, "Nope, no check equals no passion!"

-When the Iowa Hawkeye football team was asked how in the hell could they lose to Indiana, a team that had only won a single Bit Ten game in three years and a team that actually lost to a division AA team earlier this year, thier resounding reply was "BUUUURRRPPPP! "

-Lebron James was asked recently why he would sign on to do commercials for Bubblicious bubble gum when he was a major star in a mans game such as the NBA, he failed in his attempt to sound macho as he said "The Michelob ultra light made me do it!" When this explaination failed, he was quoted as saying, "Bubblicious blows the biggest bubbles!!  And I like that!"

-When witnesses caught a glimpse of Matt Lienart this last week, they noticed a disturbing event unfolding,  it seems young Matt was seen peeing his pants!  When asked about the issue after practice, Matt stated, "I practice hard and thus I sweat hard!"  A reporter pointed out that the only area on his body that seemed to be sweat soaked was in his groin area! Matt exclaimed "It was the beer okay!! It has nothing to do with facing the Bears this week, it was the freaking beer I tell ya!"

-When Terrell Owens caught three touchdown passes against the Texans yesterday, he was the toast of the town!  When asked about his awesome feats Owens responded, "I told you fools I could still play!!"  After that he went on to claim "If you woulda gotten me the ball against Philly we woulda won the damn game!"  Finally he admitted that he took every quarterback employed by the Cowbows out for brunch (this included practice squad QBs just in case), and yes sports fans, he bought the a few dozen rounds of beer!

-While Stephen Jackson is yet again under the microscope for shooting off his gun outside of a nightclub, it is a foregone conclusion that it was in fact beer that made him do it!  In his defense, if the cowardly ####s tried to run me over along with my friends, I'd be shooting too! That is if I carried a gun!

-When pressed about the fact that they passed on Matt Lienart in the draft and took the more undeveloped Vince Young, Jeff Fisher and company exclaimed, "Didn't you see his incredible display against USC last year?  He was a freak of nature!"  Upon hearing the follow up question "Matt Lienart won the Hiesman as a junior and continued his stellar play throughout his college campain while Young only showed glimpses of brilliance while finishing with a ####, why was this not taken into consideration?"  Fisher responded,  I didn't partake in the draft, I need a beer!"

     I just read that a Canadian businessman has purchased the Penguins.  If this is true, does it spell the end of the Pittsburgh franchise? 

     For years now we have read about the financial struggles of the franchise and how Mario saved the team.  But I cannot help but to wonder if this really is the end?

     The Penguins are a very storied franchise and I have often been miffed at how the story has played out over the past few seasons.

     It is no secret that Canadians live for hockey and it cannot sit well with them that so many franchises have sought greener pastures on our side of the border. 

     Is this a little payback time?  Are the Penguins headed to Canada?  This is an honest question, if it is a fact then I think it is kinda sad because as I said, they are a storied franchise with roots in Pittsburgh that go way back.

Write something already!  It's a sad day in blogland when the likes of Born2playin69 has to help carry the banner of humor!!  Seriously, I've lost my touch, my last humor post got 3 hits!  Edhardiman is doing his best and picking up the slack that I leave behind but seriously, blogland needs you.....help us save humor once and for all!!  (I realize that he will not read this beings that he has not been around for two freakin months but hell I vented). I feel better now, by the way, where in the hell is The Sports Intellectual?

-Brian Vickers is not the villian that he is being made out to be, he was trying to help........he is just very... very... very bad at it! 

-Lawrence Phillips loses a pickup game of football with some teenagers and tries to kill them, two things come to mind...how the hell does a former football stud (sixth overall pick in the NFL draft) lose to teenagers in the first place? Oh yeah and WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?  Enjoy your new cellmate as I am sure he and his friends will enjoy you!

-Cory Lidle, how in the world does someone die like that?  Sad and truly unbelievable.

-The Yanks are keeping Torre, does this spell the end of A-rod and Sheffield?

-This just in!! Drew Bledsoe has recently been diagnosed with Kurt Warner syndrome!

-When will Donovan McNabb get some love?

-Tito Ortiz beat Ken Shamrock last night in a bigtime UFC bout, (I'll be damned if it wasn't a free show) after beating Shamrock for the third time (second time in the first round), Ken finally shows Tito some respect, a hell of a long time coming Kenny, if you showed this type of class before then maybe 90% of the viewers would not have spilled thier brews as they jumped in the air at the sight of your head being used as a punching bag! 

-Who won last years NCAA Basketball Tourney?  Are they the most under the radar champ in history?

-Marc Bulger is slowly starting to grow on me (lifelong Rams fan.)

-Why do they call em beer nuts??  I ate four bottles of em and didn't feel a thing...for eight days, thank you dulcolax for sending some relief!!!!!

-I wonder if Shaq will be in shape this year?

-Kenny Rogers kicked ####!!  No...no, it was in a good way this time, great game against the Yanks old guy!

-Who else thinks the Royals should be demoted to triple A?

-The Bears have an offense? Isn't that the final sign of the end times?  Should I be scared??