It is that time of year again! The next National holiday to be named will be for the Monday after the Super Bowl any year now. I would vote for a Presidential candidate of the United States if this was in their campaign as an actual issue. But one thing I have noticed about the Super Bowl is that the partys have been changing with the "pussification" of America. Lucky for you I have put togeter a list of things that you MUST live by each year if you are going to stand up for yourself and the game you love so much. If you don't start doing this now you are going to be paying for it for the rest of your life, and lets face it, the Super Bowl will be around much longer than your spouse/girlfriend. It is also just a party in the sense of the word, not like the ones your spouse/girlfriend thinks of when she hears the word party.
I hope this year that if a player from the winning team thanks Jesus for watching over him in victory, a player will blame Satan for blowing the game for his team!
Rules are in order of least important (still important) but more acceptable rules to break.
10. No channel surfing at all, none. Put the game on two hours before ti starts and don't touch the remote except to turn up the volume.
9. No wine of any kind, leave it in the box!
8. No napkins, that is what your shirt is for!
7. no veggie plates, pretty much no vegatables at all!
6. One item of food serve must be flaming hot (####y)
5. The only card game permitable has to be some form of poker
4. It is imperitive that at least two or more wagers should be placed BEFORE kick off.
3. No matter the score, no video games until the Super Bowl trophy and MVP trophy are awarded.
2. Rules for football "squares" shpould be clearly printed on your sheet. Or clarifications MUST be in place and understood by all participants.
1. NO CHICKS! NO GIRLFRIENDS, Fiances, or wives. They talk to much, they only want to watch the commercials, and they don't care who is winning, unless it involves you making money on a bet so she can buy more shoes and purses. The one and only exception to this tule is that one wife may be present, but she must be the wife of the guy having the Super Bowl party. She may also have a friend over to keep her company, but she must be HOT and single. If you cave in and let your girlfriend come it will set a bad president for the rest of your life. Stand up and be a man or you are going to look like this loser in the picture, looks like he is having a blast,.................yeah right
Now that you know the rules you should have a great time this Sunday and every Super Bowl from here on out. You're welcome!
only good looking wifes and g/f can attend, that way they can talk among themselves, leave you alone, and you will not get in trouble for not taking them
Addendum - You can have wives/girlfriends over if and only if there is a separate room at least 30 feet from the room with the game on for them to be in with the Lifetime channel on if they are not die hard football fans.
Women are allowed, but they must congregate in a separate room, preferably in the kitchen. If they are there they must be “on call” to get beers and be able to replenish the food supply.
Also be available to make a beer or wings run before during and after the game.
The guy in the pic is a loser because of his TV set....when was this pic taken, in 1976?
Girls should be allowed for the following reasons: THEY CAN....make more guac, clean spilled beers, apply CPR and perform quickies during halftime. I don't think I am being unreasonable here.
If you have one of the hats that normally holds two beers and you have successfully modified it to hold two of the large boxes of wine, that will be permitted.
BULL S***! Amendment! NO CHICKS/GIRLFRIENDS unless they KNOW what football is all about! I am diehard. More than a lot of guys. I def. am calling the BULL S*** flag on this 'rule'!
Stephanie- the "hole" in your ammendment is that since you are a woman, you don't know the conflict you would start in a man mind that is watching and drinking with you. When a woman is around the testosterone kicks up a little and know we have to get our "game" on as well.
The type of women that usually actually know about football look like Pam Ward anyway!
My wife helped me put this list together and she liked almost all of them
Last edited by bob260505 on February 2nd at 2:56 AM.
Flint Michigan -
Ask me a question about your team by email- bob260505@yah oo.com
Three time defending (division 2) four square champion
1993 United States Hacky-Sack Champion (runner up in 92 and 94) - finishing move "the Stall"
MVP of 1986 Whiffleball World Series - WWS was played in the side yard and had longer home runs.
2006 1st place league Champion fantasy baseball, 2003 and 2004 second place in fantasy football, 2003 second place in fantasy baseball and hockey, The last person out in Dodgeball in a record 17 of 22 games played in 1992 and led the gym class with over 175 kills in 92 - 93 (averaged 8.18 kills per game)
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3. No matter the score, no video games until the Super Bowl trophy and MVP trophy are awarded.
