Part two of the "Guys who could have played in movies" theme.  Yesterday was NFL players, we saw Hines Ward get the Nod for Scarface.  Eric Mangini take Ray Liotta's place in Goodfellas, and other interesting replacements.  What will today bring?

Instead of Gerard Butler (King Leonidas) in 300, replacement: Ben Wallace.  Does anybody really want to mess with either of these two guys?  Ben, like Gerard, is as tough as they come.  I could see Ben leading Wally and Delonte into a bar fight in Cleveland (I hope it doesnt) and winning since no one wants to deal with Wallace.  Why do you think he is such a bad jump shooter?  The last guy that tried to help him is obviously at the bottom of some pit with the Persian messangers.

Instead of Russell Crowe in Gladiator, replacement: Kevin Garnett.  As a Timberwolves fan, I had the opportunity to watch him attack teams solo for a long time.  Watching Maximus dominate by himself reminds me of how Garnett would battle and lead us to the playoffs during his stint in Minnesota.  Now, his hatred for McHale (Commodus) inspired him to the NBA's best record and newfound fame, much alike to The Spaniard had acclimated when he gets to Rome.  If only he could have played in the Garden like Crowe got to slay opponents in the Coliseum.

Instead of Will Smith in I am Legend, replacement: Chris Bosh.  It was not by his choice, but a promising young man (Will Smith) finds himself battling demons with minuscule help in his dog (T.J. Ford, a fast fiesty but small companion.)  His "friends" are lifeless and stand around, just as the Raptors tend to do when Bosh has the ball in many cases.  He is making progress to defeat the odds, but how will he eventually fair?

Instead of Mel Gibson in Braveheart, replacement: Chris Paul.  Might not have earned this yet, hear me out.  Chris Paul is the unquestioned leader o####roup matched up against a force that is more dominant (reigning champion Spurs) to his group that isn't as strong.  West, Chandler, Peja are not quite Parker, Ginobli, Duncan.  Paul will lead his men into this battle, but what will the outcome be? 

Instead of Edward Norton in Fight Club, replacement: Carmelo Anthony.  Easy one.  Two guys that should never result in a fighting role.  Norton hitting Brad Pitt's ear reminds me of the girly punch then retreat of Melo at the MSG.  Neither really belong in a fight but both wanted for some reason to be there.

Instead of Keanu Reeves in The Matrix, replacement: Kobe Bryant.  Not to steal Shawn Marion's name, but Bryant was dubbed the chosen one soon after he came in the league.  Meant to take over for Jordan, save the Matrix (save the NBA.)  Watching him leap over the car was like seeing Neo leap to the other building.  He has enough hang time for many of the stunts needed and he is also an assasian so the agents would stand no chance.

Instead of Brad Pitt in Troy, replacement: LeBron James.  Its obvious that he will be a hired gun, much like Achilles.  Why else if he grew up in Ohio would he don a Yankees cap in Cleveland during a playoff series?  He is a beast of a man that wins.  However, that heal, late game free throw shooting (Maybe he should have stopped in Memphis for a year and got that out of the way) may too be his downfall.  He is a career 73% shooter, but he has been known (although he is getting better) to miss key late game free throws.  

Instead of Homer Simpson in The Simpson's movie, replacement: Isiah Thomas.  Not exactly the same level of comedic genius, but the mistakes that constantly set their respetive family and team back are remarkably similar.  Thomas means well, like Homer, but every move they make only put them further and further from their goal.

Finally, instead of Jack Nicholson in The Departed, replacement: Dikembe Mutombo.  They have both been around for sometime now.  Both are accomplished, and both can be scary.  Nicholson was crazy in many roles, and ruthless in others.  Mutombo was a shotblocking machine his whole career and menace on the boards too.  Both did have their big flop though, Mars Attacks! for Nicholson, and The series vs. Shaq when Mutombo was on his back every time you turned around.  But Mutombo is a good charitable guy, so he would have to really work to make this believable.

Once again, looking forward to more suggestions.

Last season we were witnesses of an 8 seed taking down the number one team not just in the conference, but the whole NBA.  Now lets play a game that we all love and hate at the same time, the WHAT IF game.  What if the 8th seed in the East, be it the Hawks, or whoever is lucky enough, defeats the Celtics in their match.  OK, for anyone who is still reading NO I AM NOT SAYING THEY WILL, OR EVEN HAVE A SNOWBALL'S CHANCE IN PHOENIX, but saying what if?  Will we say they are a strong conference top to bottom with the 8 capable of hanging with anyone?  Or will we condemn them for having their top team go down at the hands of a lowly sub 500 club?

    To be realistic, the Warriors were suited to beat the Mavs last year, none of the teams have a game that should give Boston any reason to worry.  In the public opinion, the Eastern conference playoffs do not even start until round two.  Im a big Joe Johnson fan so I will be one of only 18 people outside of Boston watching that series.  The marque matchup in round one will be either Toronto vs. Orlando, or Toronto vs. Cleveland.  Sorry Gilbert, you are one of my favorite players not because of your awful drawing skills (if you have seen his adidas commercial than you must understand) but because you back up your talk.  Also your trash talk is not offensive, it is on par with Will Smith hip hop, clean and somehow entertaining. 

     Back to the Toronto series, Bosh will be pitted either against Howard or Wallace.  That will be the most intriguing plot in the first round by far.  Watching Bosh and Howard (they should match up if coaches Van Gundy and Mitchell value their job because no one else on either roster is talented enough to stop the other) gives hope yet to an exciting Eastern conference playoff setting. 

     Atlanta, should they remain and most likely will in the 8 spot, must have their shooters each night to have a chance.  Boston on the other hand, can afford to have Pierce or Allen have an off night and still come out with a victory thanks to the inside advantage they control.  Horford, Marvin Williams, and Pachulia do not bring the same game Garnett, Perkins, and Davis.  Talent and potential, I give Horford and Williams much love, however Garnett has seen the likes of Tim Duncan, Shaq, Charles Barkley, Dirk, and others in the playoffs so I put my money on (gasp, suprise, will he really?) Boston.

     If by some strange occurance, Boston falls to the 8 seed, what will we say?  Respect for the East finally, or more Leastern Conference talk? 

Unless you are the Spurs, you have to be feel threatened now that Denver has put together a 5 game win streak to sneak into the current seven spot.  This team is a nightmare to match up with, even more so than Golden State, but don't tell Avery Johnson that.  Yes Golden State has Davis and runs very well.  Yes they stole one from the Lakers recently, but what they dont have is Camby.  In the playoffs, you need some semblance of an inside presence and no disprespect to Andris Biedrins, but he is not a guy to counter the likes of Duncan, Stoudemire, Gasol, or even Tyson Chandler.  Marcus Camby however, is currently second in the league in rebounds per game and leads the league in blocks per game.  He doesn't need to score (as evidence to his 2 points vs. Golden State, but hauled in 12 boards) to help the Nuggets win.  They have Iverson and Anthony for that matter.  The number three and four scorers in the league respectively pose serious mathcup problems for the unlucky team they face (barring a meltdown and the Nuggets missing the playoffs) in the opening round.  The Spurs are best set up to defeat the Nuggets as they have done two out of the last three years.  And if you ask how many times the Nuggets have made it out of the first round in the last four seasons it would be zero, in fact they have only won a total of four games in those series combined.  The difference this year, AI and Carmelo have a year under their belt now, Martin and Camby are somehow (knock on wood Nugget fans) still healthy and J.R. Smith and Linas Kleiza have provided scoring help on nights the (forgive me) dynamic duo may be off.  Iverson has played in all seventy-three games so far and averages 41.9 per game.  Signs would point to his wearing down, but let us not forget, this is Allen Iverson.  The same Iverson that led the Sixers to the championship versus the Lakers.  The same Iverson that holds the Georgetown season scoring record at 25 per game and career at 23 per game.  This Iverson now scores 26.5 a game but is dishing out 7.2 assists per contest as well.  This Iverson also has Carmelo Anthony at his side.  Teams will be hard pressed to defend both scoring threats through the course of the game.  Only four teams give up more than their 105.7 per game, but only two score more than their 109.7 per game.  If they see New Orleans in round one, Camby and Martin will square off against West and Chandler, no clear cut advantage for either team.  Next is Paul and Iverson.  While Paul is having a masterful year, the competitor in Iverson and the fire that burns inside will not let Paul get the better of him in a series.  Iverson has his hands full here, however, the former MVP can still get to the rim when needed.  His 1.92 steals per game are good enough for 8th in the league and his 3.0 turonvers per game is the least since his second year.  While Paul holds an advantage in the statictical categories except for scoring, he has not seen a playoff series yet.  Is this an overrated statement?  One of the best playoff players ever Michael Jordan, went winless in his first three playoff series.  Not to mention who will be forced to guard Carmelo Anthony. 

If the Nuggets happen to match up yet again with the Spurs, the Nuggets will not prove to repeat as the cake walk of a team from last season.  They are scoring 4.3 more each game, rebounding better, sharing the ball better (24.7 assists compared to 23.4) and holding teams to a lower shooting percentage (slightly lower but lower still.)  Even though the Spurs have proved to us again and again not to judge them during the regular season because they are built for the seven game series, their points per game numbers are down from 98.5 to 95.9.  Bowen has started 82 games and played 30 plus minutes in each of the past 5 seasons and this year is averaging 30.4 minutes in 72 starts in 72 games.  Will this be a factor for the 36 year old small forward who could be forced with shadowing 23 year old Carmelo Anthony anywhere from 36 to 40 plus minutes o####ame?  And although J.R. Smith was never on coach's good side, his 40.8% mark from the arc will force him into the game against a Spurs team that gives up only 33.8% from long range.  With Duncan and Thomas inside, they will need Kenyon Martin to continue his good shooting (54.0) and Marcus Camby to keep playing NBA First team caliber defense against the force that is Tim Duncan. 

Either way San Antonio or New Orleans can not be happy that Iverson and company have fought into the playoffs.  The 1-2 combo that produces and NBA best 52.1 per game would scare anyone.  These may look like the same one and done Nuggets, they certainly have not done much to change their team demeanor.  No big move before the deadline like many other western teams, but with Iverson how can you ever count them out?

There is no time for upsets like March.  Which 5-12 will you pick?  How soon will a one seed head home?  Is there a George Mason out there?  Do I realize that George Mason is in the tournament again?  College basketball is built for upsets.  Why else is the three point line the same distance for 22 year-old seniors the same for 5th graders that play at 8AM on Saturday? (for now.)  LIke these same 5th graders who are "upset" that billy's mom brought them pears instead of Cheez-Its, I have more upsets for March.

Upsets to watch for:   Hank Steinbrenner goes down in parking lot at the hands of a 8 year old girl belonging to the "Red Sox Nation" in the first round of a impromptu boxing match.

Shaq loses a sprint contest in an Arizona Mall to a 65 year old in a 40 yard dash to the early bird special at Applebee's.  Gotta love those mozzarella sticks.

KG loses a "who's now" ESPN contest to Dustin Pedroia after Pedroia has a 5 game hit streak in spring versus KG's lousy bid to lock up the NBA's best record.

Matt Walsh's stomach.  You can believe that if he does talk, he'll be more worried than if the Italian mafia had put a hit on him.  Bellicheck has been watching him, knows where he is at, and is this close to sending Adalius Thomas after him.

UCLA basketball fans.  They will be upset as soon as their tournament ends to here that Kevin Love is gone.  They will also be upset when referees become competent in the final minutes o####ame.

Browns fans:  Too many good things are happening this offseason Cleveland, I just think that somehow it wont work out.  Im not pulling for it, but you know its bound to happen.

The Giant vs. Floyd Mayweather:  Upset special, Oscar De La Hoya comes from under the ring to hit both with a chair, making it the most effective blow he has delivered in his last two fights.

NHL fans:  They will be upset if NBC decides once again that a playoff game is not worth watching and flips to pre race coverage.  (ok, this would actually happen in April, but how many knew when the NHL playoffs started without having to look it up? 3?  4?  probably too generous.)

A real upset, Friday March 14th:  Utah Jazz over Boston Celtics.  Utah will give them a heavy dose of Deron Williams followed by more Deron Williams.  Their only hope is that for some strange reason the movie Celtic Pride inspires two Boston fans to re-enact the film.  Boston does not need the game as much as Utah does considering that Boston has a 4 and 1/2 game lead and could potentially reel off 10 straight to end the season if they wanted to. 10 Eastern conference opponents with losing records, even though they do see "playoff teams" in that stretch.

There are more upsets I may have missed, please feel free to add on.

With the acquisition of O'Neal, the Suns were both written off and also penciled in as contenders by many.  The Suns have gone 5-6 since trading for Shaq (or trading away Marion as some see it.)  With Shaq in their lineup they are 3-4, not the start they had envisioned or even hoped for that matter.  At this point they are a half game up on the Rockets and hold the 5th spot.  If the playoffs started today, they would take on Utah (1-1 this season with the final meeting between the two on Friday.)  That game could be pivotal in deciding homecourt advantage for the series.  The Suns are a game and a half ahead right now, and a season series tie-breaker could be essential considering Utah is 26-3 at home and only 13-19 on the road.  Of their final 22 games, 12 are against teams currently in playoff position (Philly and New Jersey both count and are back to back at the end of a four game road trip starting with Detroit and Boston.)  They also face Portland twice, Denver three times and Sacremento, all mathematically alive for playoffs although not realisticly (at least in Sacremento's case.) 

   Since the All-Star break, and Shaq's debut, Amare has averaged 28.7, up 5.5 from his 23.2 prior to the arrival.  His rebounds have dropped from 9.3 to 9.0 but Shaq pulls down 10.3 compared to Marion who would haul in 9.9.  Because of the increase, even ever silghtly, Amare does not have to work as hard on the defensive glass and he can work that much harder on the offensive glass since a shooter was lost when Marion left.  His offensive rebounds per game was 2.3 previously, in the 7 games with O'Neal, its at 2.6. 

    If shaq can stay productive for 30 minutes per game (When the Heat won their championship he was on the floor 30 per) then it will put the opposition in foul trouble early.  So far they have attempted 29.4 free throws per game since the move and connected on 76.7%.  Before Diesel arrived, they got to the line on average 22.5 times hitting 79.6%.  Getting the front court players in foul trouble will pay off when they are forced to cautiosly guard Amare with 6 plus minutes to go in the fourth allowing him to dominate tired, slower players who are in foul trouble.   And if a foul is called late in the game on Nash, Bell, or Hill they shoot 89.8% 90.1% and 87.4% respectively.  Stoudemire has shot well from the line this year at 79.8%, and Diaw comes in at 77.6%. 

  So even though the deal didn't quite sit right with many Suns fans, Kerr's thought process looks to be paying off.  The Suns are only 3-4 with him and 5-6 since making the move, but they are beginning to come together and after a few more games should be increasingly more comfortable slowing it down when Shaq is on the court.  Then turning it up the tempo with Barbosa.  The big question is whether they will get quality production out of Diaw.  In the games since O'Neal arrived, he is getting 10.3 points per game and 5.3 rpg compared to pre Shaq numbers of 8.1 and 4.5 while playing just over one minute less per game. 

   The problems they face in the playoffs will be who guards Manu and Tony Parker?  Bell is a great defender (don't tell that to Kobe that guy doesn't need any more motivation) and can slow down one, but not both when they are on the court.  And he can't 48 minutes of chasing these guys around because they need his shot to keep teams from doubling their bigs.  Since getting rid of Marion, Bell has been forced to play an additional 3 minutes per game since he is guarding the star not Marion and his point production has slipped form above 12 per to 8.  Barbosa is quick enough to stay with them, but lacks size on Manu (6'3'' vs. 6'6''.)  And Grant Hill does a good enough job as a defender, but they will need him on offense to be another kick out threat.  So this leaves D.J. Strawberry with big minutes and a big task.  This however, is moot is they do not have an answer for Utah's front court.  Okur and AK47 are capable of knocking down long range shots forcing Amare or Shaq (more likely Amare so Shaq can guard Boozer to protect Amare from foul trouble.)  Amare has been held to 19 points per game vs. Utah but if Nash can keep up his 29 points 11 assists against the Jazz they should be fine. 

  Because the Suns lost the tie breaker against the Lakers and are 2 and 1/2 back, it doesn't look as if they will get that top seed they envisioned.  It will be a difficult task to survive the Western Conference playoffs (or even their first round mathcup, could be Utah, could be New Orleans) but expect the same thrilling series as always.  How great would a game 7 in LA  of Suns v Lakers be?

Is there any other team in dire need of a win streak more than the Mavs?  Maybe the Suns, but as long as long as Dallas, Denver, and Portland keep losing (5-5, 5-5, 3-7 respectively) they will be in good shape.  What about Golden State, well with 4 straight road games and 5 of 6 away from home ( the 5 game being at Phoenix it will be hard for the Warriors to catch the Suns even if they are playing Eastern Conference teams.)  Anyway, what this boils down to is the Mavs currently hold the number 7 spot in the conference.  So they are set to play either San Antonio of LA, depending on how they decide to play the stretch run of their schedule.  If they were to slide past the Suns for the six spot, they could face New Orleans.  Yes just two weeks ago, CP3 OWNED JKidd.  But in a series, they would fair far better against the bigs of New Orleans than they would San Antonio or LA.  Dampier is getting 5.9ppg and 7.5rpg,  not quite Bynum or Gasol numbers.  Dirk is going for 23.6ppg and 8.6rpg, but this does not make up for the 19.7ppg and 9.0rpg of David West, and the11.8ppg and 12.3rpg of Chandler trumps Dampier. 

     Dampier is a solid defender, and his 17 boards versus LA gave Mavs fans hope.  It was against a Bynum less Lakers, but still encouraging.  And yes, it takes time for a team to get acclimated (see Phoenix and Shaq) before you can truly judge them.  The Gasol/Lakers experiment was a definate outlier, but they will have to tweak the offense slightly once Bynum returns. 

   Yet hope dangles for the Mavs.  Yao is out for the season, so the surging Rockets (who have ten games remaining against playoff teams and 3 others against teams with a legitimate shot) will have to keep winning to stay out of the tough potential matchups of the 1 2 or 3 seeds.  They are only one game up one the Mavs and with both teams learning to play with or without that key piece (not Diop and Wells, or Wright and Jackson) Dallas needs to take advantage of their next six games.  They face Houston at home on Thursday, the best way to gain ground on someone as you well know is to beat them.  Then they host a sleau of Leastern Conference opponents New Jersey, (who haven't won in Dallas since March 2, 2001. And will be playing @NO the night before,) New York, Charlotte, Indiana, then @ Miami.  They need a win streak here badly because they can cash in on the Suns unfortunate next four games @Portland, @Denver, home to Utah then home to San Antonio.

  The Mavs must come together quickly and build some momentum in these games becasue their following three contests will be hosting the Lakers, Celtics, and Spurs. 

   One positive is that Dirk has scored at least 23 per since Kidd's arrival, and will need to continue his 28.88 per game since Kidd came over to give them a shot in any series.  Dampier will be able to (not stop) but slow down one of LA's two bigs, but in a seven game series, the Lakers front court is too powerfull for Dallas.  Dampier can't keep playoff Tim Duncan from guiding his team to four wins, and David West, Tyson Chandler, and CP3 are playing very well at this point and will be hard for anyone to stop. 

         Dallas had to make a move at the deadline because that is Mark Cuban.  Each Western Conference threat has two capable bigs (Golden State is an upset threat, but cannot get throught the entire Western Conference playoffs, as fun as they are too watch its like Kansas in the NCAA tournament, only a matter of time.)  Thomas and Duncan (yes Kurt will be productive on defense, rebounding, and will not command the ball on offense so Manu, Tony, and Duncan get plenty of touches, but Thomas will somehow get his garbage points and be big when it counts,  Thats why they got him.)  The much talked about Gasol and Bynum, Chandler and West, Boozer and (combination of AK47 and Okur, as individuals they are not quite a big but on the floor together with their range and size, a problem) and even Amare and Shaq. 

   Good luck Avery Johnson.

   Everyone loves to play GM.  If needed, you could find your team's solutions for all their problems at any bar, pub, tavern or various other names for your fine establishments.  These are not those solutions, these are off the wall, how many have you had, you cant be serious, are you Kevin McHale ideas.  Enjoy.

     Barry Bonds Signs with Yankees:  They obviously have the money, they have not made their trademark significant off season brinks truck give away to someone unworthy (A-Rod could go either way, but he was with them.)  He could DH, young Steinbrenner is itching to make his mark on the organization, what better way to impede Cashman's plans?  Well fire him I guess, but lets look closer.  Barry Bonds had a 480 OBP, higher than any Yankee.  His 28 homeruns would go up with the increase in quality pitches he would see with the protection in that lineup.  Also the short porch in right plays to his advantage considering Barry hasn't gone opposite field since 1999.  His presence in the order would increase fastballs to whomever hits in front of him, and force pitcher to go from the stretch to the batter behind him.  Not to mention the publicity it would take OFF A-Rod and the constant Giambi and Bonds tussles.  Instead of hounding A-Rod, the NY media would be all over Bonds, Balco, B-12 accusations, possible Roger Clemens links.  Just think, the greatest pitcher of our time, and the greatest homerun hitter of our time both facing steroid accusations and both played their last seasons in pin stripes.  Is this feasible, Sober people across America can all say no, but its young Hank that could be the undoing. 

     Roger Clemens to the Rangers:  I know I mentioned Clemens in the last crazy prediciment, but bear with me now.  Hard throwing right hander, long productive career, tons of strikeouts, live in Texas, pitched in New York and Houston, remind you of anyone?  Nolan Ryan ended his playing career in a Rangers uni (and is President, perhaps why this wont work) so Clemens could take on this blueprint.  The projected Rangers starting pithcers' ERAs of last year 26.89, nearly Clemens' s salary 28 million (pro rated 22 million.)  Seattle acquired Bedard, Angels got Torri Hunter, and the A's dealt Dan Haren (with Beane you can bet it will work out) so the Rangers need to make a splash (Jason Jennings was a decent move, but not one to the magnitude that the other teams in the division have made.)  And, the right hander can go out like Ryan.  Possible, once again I say no, but well there is no but.

    LeBron James Wears a Cleveland hat: In last year's playoffs, LBJ decided to put on a Yankee hat despite growing up in Ohio when the Indians hosted the Yanks.  If he is a Yanks fan, then he should don his Indians hat proudly and hope they take down the Tigers.  If that lineup gets to the postseason (assuming the Yankees deal with the devil when it comes to playoffs has not expired) then NY could be in for a Sixers-Knicks 40 point beatdown.  Then again, it didn't work out so well last year for NY to face Cleveland etiher, chances of LeBron wearing an Indians hat?  Not too high.

   Brad Lidge bouncing back:  New scenery, new division, new spacious ball park, but unfortunately has been injured.  Will face two big hitting first basemen in Texiera and Delgado.  The positives, he won't see Pujols as much.  And the Philly fans don't care what happened to him in Houston, but  blown saves of that magnitude in this town and the fans will make what Pujols did to him look silly.  However, he gets to face a Marlins team with fresh faces that don't know his tips yet.  A National's team that has Zimmerman and not too much else, and as for the Braves and Mets, well Pujols isn't on the roster.  Ryan Howard is on his side, and he knows if he fails now he faces a much tougher crowd, hello motivation. 

   Chicago Cubs prevail:  Not taking a stab at the cubbies.  They won the division and added a great potential player in Fukudome.  Outside of the Brewers, the teams in the division looked a bit weaker than last year (no Astros, Tejada will not save the day.  Not a bad addition, but ask Baltimore how he worked out.  And you did lose a pretty good second baseman.)  The Pirates aren't quite ready to take down Chicago and the Reds won't last either.  Soriano is becoming a betterleadoff and DLee will enjoy that 3-4-5 lineup more than anyone if it happens.  Marquis and Leiber hope to revive their careers while Lilly and Zambrano want to show why they are worth the money.  Nontheless these are still the Cubs and sad to say but Dempster may have jinxed them. 

Well there are some random, make you think, not gonna happen but wouldn't it be wild situations.  I wasn't intoxicated when I conjured up these off-the-wall recipes.  Any that I  missed please let me know.

Last June's NBA finals matchup was nothing to scream about.  It was hard to even talk about unless you are a spurs fan.  Yet we tried anyway, asking if the Spurs are a dynasty, making or breaking cases for San Antonio to be etched in stone as a new age Bulls, Celtics, or Lakers despite the fact they have never gone back-to-back.  (Im not concerned if they are or are not a dynasty, just setting some stuff up here)  But when the finals were over, the fun began. 

    There was the talk of fixing the lottery to prevent tank jobs like Boston and Memphis pulled last year, and even though the lottery took place before the finals were over, they realisticly were through before they began, sorry Cavs fans.  The debating and campaigning began in Portland and Seattle, Oden or Durant.  Then the plethora of draft night deals, and the horrific scene of Noah's disaster with a Bull's cap on top.  The KG deal, the FIBA championships, Kobe's mind changes, Oden out for the year, a Heat T'Wolves trade days before the start of the season.  Zeke in court, but thinking about the court, and speaking of scandals, Slim Tim D (yes, Im terrible at picking criminal names but I am that much worse at spelling so I went with it.) 

    Then the year starts:  Wade misses time, Kobe is happy, Shaq misses time, Magic start well, Blazers go on a run, Starburry drama, Knicks get spanked by the Celtics, Bosh airs a ridiculous commercial, LBJ is unhappy, so is Kidd, Kobe gets Gasol, Detroit is somehow next to Spurs far under the radar when it comes to Fianls talk, CWebb is back with Nellie, Shaq is dealt and is no longer injured, Kidd is traded wait no he isn't wait there it hold on, now he's traded.  It turns out the writer's weren't on strike, they were just helping with ideas for the dunk contest, Bibby traded, Rockets go on a run, and are considering a deal with Hornets. 

     As far as entertainment goes, unless you are a Knicks fan you have to be happy with what you've been given this season.  Even as a Wovles fan going through our first season without the franchise face, Al Jefferson has given hope for the future.  Sonics have Durant and Green (unless OKC has their way) the Heat get Marion, and the Bobcats have a potential all star in Gerald Wallace.  

     As for what to look forward to for the rest of the season, its just that, the rest of the season!  The West has finally knocked Boston off their undefeated against the conference perch, the rich got richer and the Western Conference playoffs will be as wild as ever.  The defending champions just made a move to get one of the great post defenders to go opposite mr. fundamental, the Warriors again have upset on their minds.  Utah wants to build on last season's run.  CP3 is eating point guards.  Bynum is returning soon to take pressure off the league's hurt pinky (yes, despite back to back triple doubles from LBJ, right now Kobe is the NBA.)  The Nuggets want to add another "team" player with a "great attitude" in Artest for their playoff push, who do these guys think they are?  The Patriots couldn't handle Melo AI JR Smith and Artest. 

And in the East, Boston returns to glory, and employ 3 title hungry all stars.  Detroit looks to reach yet another conference finals and when they get there, go "Bad Boys" on Flip before game 1 to keep him from keeping them out of the Finals.  Toronto will ride Bosh to the playoffs then hope to score more than 90.8 per game (would currently be last in the NBA.)  Orlando has a force down that few in the East can match, and LeBron is churning out triple doubles like Tiger does birdies.

      Thank you David Stern for the great year.  Can't wait to see how this ends up, I hope you're not a Soprano's fan.

   Just when things looked to be balanced again in the NBA, the West had to step up, remind the East who is boss and pull some Steinbrenner like moves.  KG moved to the East, LBJ had gotten to the finals, they still have the Pistons, and D-Wade was a champion not long ago.  Yes at the beginning of the season it looked as if the East would try to rise up to the West's standards.  However, Pau moved to L.A. (not only that but Kwame was sent back to the East) Shaq now polices in Arizona not South Beach, and Jason Kidd may yet come over to the better league.  If this happens, Chauncey Billups will be the happiest PG in the world because he will only have to battle one true point guard and that will be in the finals (if they make it that far, LOOKING AT YOU FLIP!)  But at this juncture, the West clearly seems to be flexing their muscle once again.  Yes I am aware that the Celtics have the best record and are undefeated vs. the West this year, but last year Dallas had the league's best record and only 3 losses to eastern teams but were taken out in the first round.  With a return of a healthy Deng, if the Bulls get the 8 spot then they could do the same against the C's.  They have the PG advantage, Big Ben could slow KG, and with Duhon scoring more lately (it wont be the same when Deng comes back, but confidence helps) coupled with Gordon they can nearly match the output of Allen and Pierce.  (NOTICE I AM NOT PUTTING THIS IN STONE THAT THE CELTICS WILL GET SWEPT BY AN 8 SEED, JUST SAYING IT'S POSSIBLE.) 

Looking at the records for playoffs teams for each conference for the West (274W 141L for .660% in 415 games played) for the East (241W-156L for .607% in 397 played.)  Not that big of a deal right?  Well looking at each playoffs teams record against the opposing conference might paint a different picture.

East: Boston 16-0, Detroit 12-7, Orlando 12-12, Cleveland 14-11, Toronto 10-11, Washington 9-12, New Jersey 7-14, Philly 10-12.

West: New Orleans 11-4, Suns 21-2, Dallas 12-11, Utah 14-7, Lakers 16-9, Spurs 15-4, Golden State 14-8, Houston 14-7. 

Also to note, the 6th, 7th, and 8 seeds in the East all have losing records and could be supplanted by Denver, Portland, and even Sacramento and their losing record. 

The East tried to bring balance back to the league but are once again forced to trade their stars to Western contenders and hope the Pistons or Celtics do not bring shame to their conference the way the Cavs did when they were swept by the Spurs.  I admired LBJ's run last year and Wade's the previous, but the league still remains one-sided.  The West has the star power Kobe, Shaq, Nash, Dirk, Yao, T-Mac, Duncan, Iverson, Melo, over East: KG, LBJ, D-Wade, (does Vince count anymore?) Dwight Howard, Bosh.  The West has the point guard advantage: Nash, D. Williams, CP3, Tony Parker, B. Davis, (and soon to be Kidd?) over East: Billups........

Hopefully the East can catch up soon and make the Eastern and Central time zones care about basketball again, not just Boston and Detroit.  David Stern, have anymore Patrick Ewing to the Knicks type moves to pull? 

This season's All-Star weekend may not lure in the same scandalous crowd that Vegas conjured up last season, however one major name will make the trip.  It is confirmed that Pacman Jones did R.S.V.P to a party, however it is unknown if he is aware that it was a Tupperware party and the invitation was meant for Adam Jones the photographer.  Vegas found out of the blunder and has an over-under of 5 1/2 police charges to be filed from this party alone. The party is scheduled for Thursday Feb 14. The remaining schedule for Jones is below.

Friday Feb. 15.  2:00pm: Wake up, usher out lady entrepreneurs (in his attempt to regain eligibilty to NFL he has begun reading the dictionary to enhance vocabulary for his next apologetic letter to Tennessee.) and make breakfast.

2:10pm: Throw away frozen burrito wrapper and shower.

3:00pm: Realize he missed his portion of NBA Cares Day of Service volunteer hours.  Write a letter apologizing to the city and NBA.  (Letters in consideration, 's' and 'z') 

3:01pm: Ignore suggestions by entourage to write actual letter not just 'z'.

4:09pm: Call to confirm his suite for Rookie-Sophomore challenge game.

4:20pm: secret closed door meeting.

6:00pm: Steal jersey and participate in celeb. game

Halftime: another secret closed door meeting.

10:00pm: Call O.J. Simpson, decide on night club.

10:57pm: Call O.J. Simpson again, cancel plans, decided he was a bad influence.

12:06am: show up at club and try not to make a scene.

12:09am: Run away from scene.

12:30am: secret closed door meeting.

Saturday Feb 15. 4:20am: secret closed door meeting.

10:00am: Turn on Sportscenter to see highlights of game on top10.  Celebrate the number 9 play of the night, but then feel shame for Taylor Hicks american idol winner having plays 6 and 2 that were both better.

1:30pm: show up at arena and attempt to regain dignity. Plan, steal a D-league jersey and dominate game.

2:26pm: Come off the bench (to avoid su####ion) and take over game.

2:30pm: call it a day after Morris Almond put up 18 points in just 3 minutes and capping it off with a posturizing dunk on skull.

2:33pm: emergency closed door meeting to game plan and raise spirits.

3:00pm: Invite Reggie Bush to join entourage for weekend.

3:05pm :Get into Reggie's H2 (the new one, not the college one) and get tour of N.O.

4:20pm: meeting, but in H2, just with windows rolled up.

4:30pm: return to arena, visit concession stand and purchase 2 boxes of hot dogs and nachos.

5:45pm: bet on 3 point shootout.

6:50pm: double or nothing on slam dunk contest.

10:00pm: double or nothing again that once again, Pacman will be featured in sportscenter's top 10.

10:55pm: Bittersweet victory celebration that the Almond dunk made number 3.  closed door meeting.

1:00pm: Make it rain

Sunday Feb. 17.  9:00am: Answer questions from police.

10:17am: Answer questions from Goodell.

10:40am:  secret closed door meeting to cheer up.

11:30am: Drive to Emeril Lagasse restaurant. 

12:27pm: Complete dine-n-dash.

2:00pm: Call TNA wrestling, trip is getting expensive and need to make money.

2:45pm: call WVU, find when spring break starts, classes starting to get in way.

4:20pm: secret closed door meeting.

4:34pm: Nap until game

7:20:pm: get to arena, this time steal Doc Rivers suit and coach in game, not participate.

7:35pm: Get bored, return suit and have final closed door meeting, this time invite Tim Donaghy.

11:52pm: change mind and have one more closed door meeting in VIP section,

11:53pm: Get denied access to VIP, so have meeting in bathroom.

3:10am: pack up and go home.

Reminder, dont forget WWOJD bracelet.

Another day, another loss for the former champs.  As much pain as it brings to Wade, mentally (knowing they are only one win ahead of the t'wolves) and physically (his body can't be right, knee, shoulder) all he can do is continue to give 100% until help arrives in the form of Love, Beasley, Jordan, or Gordon next year.  Perhaps the Heat will go the route of the Grizz or Celtics, shut down their star to "conserve him for next year" while playing their way into as many ping pong balls as possible.  Ricky Davis is not the scoring or shooting lift they thought he would be (not a big suprise) and Shaq seems to spend more time these days battling injuries than he does for rebounds or buckets.  Mourning wants to return next year, but wouldn't you if you had the chance to play with Wade and one of the talented potential draft picks (maybe even Rose or Mayo?)  However, with the minutes they continue (are forced really) to give to Dorrell Wright, will they spend a high choice on a guard?  Even though they are hurting (ha) for another low post ####er, Williams and Davis are in the final year of their contracts and maybe a Rose or Mayo could be the running mate to get Wade going next season and beyond.  Cook has been a bit of a suprise and my blossom as he gets more touches, but for Miami to become champions again (obviously not this seasno) they will need much help from role players like they got from Posey and Walker in their run.  Wade did most (really all) of the damage in his finals appearence but with shooters like Posey and Walker, they had no choice but to let Howard struggle and foul, I mean guard Wade as he got to the rim and the line. 

Even last year's championship Spurs got their biggest help from a role player, no not Parker but I refer you to the Hulkamania closeline Horry put on Nash.  Every reply of that moment, all I see is Horry throwing Nash off the ropes and decking him WWE style.  All that was missing was the tight spandex and a "foreign object."  The elbow may have been meant to take out Nash for the next game or eight, but it got Amare suspended and served its purpose well.  Sorry Spurs fan, yes you may have won even had Amare played, but it doesn't always work out the way it should.  Just ask Miami Heat fan, he'll tell you.

The NBA world once again has taken notice of the Portland Trailblazers.  However this time the attention is positive.  Despite stumbling to 0-3 out of the gate, and to a 5-12 start, the Blazers are currently tied with Denver for best record in the Northwest division.  That is thanks in large part to the 13 game winning streak and none other than Brandon Roy.  Their streak was snapped by Utah, on the road, and by a team they beat twice in that streak.  Just ask the cowboys, its hard to beat a good team three consecutive times in one year (unless it is the T'wolves, but than again I did say good.)    They would proceed to win their next four, beating Utah once again in that stretch.  Roy lead the team in scoring in 10 of the 13 and 19 times so far this season.  Also he has led the team in assists in 23 of their contests.  While his 19.1 per game average is less than LeBron's 29.7 per, and assists 5.7 also a distance behind Steve Nash's 12.1, his name must be in the race.  While LeBron has him in each of the three key categories (29.7 ppg to 19.1, 7.8 rpg to 4.5, and 7.5 apg to 5.7) Roy has the advantage in the win column.  Even though LeBron is running away with this award, Roy should no be overlooked.  LeBron's on the reigning Eastern conference champions, and Roy's team drafted first in this year's draft.  He is also playing without that number one pick who was supposed to step in to anchor the defense and give the Blazers hope.  When Oden went down, so did the expectations of this young team.  They shipped off last season's points and rebounds leader Zach Randolph, and gotten only 11.6 per game from Randolph's "replacement" (a platoon of Channing Frye and Joel Przybilla.)  LaMarcus Aldridge has played well but he is in no form of help that Steve Nash gets from Marion, STAT, and co.  Neither does he have Vince Carter and Richard Jefferson as does Jason Kidd to help him put up the triple-doubles Kidd can (who could also very well be a candidate, just needs to bump up his scoring from 11.5 to a more respectable level.) 

LeBron (at this point) should have it won with his near nightly triple double, over Nash, Kidd, Roy, and insert favorite celtic here (it always seems that the league's best team has to have someone in the running, not saying Dirk didn't deserve it but I am saying that so far, none of the Celtics do.)  However, do not close the book on Roy.  He is doing more with less than any other team (LeBron and CP3 challenge him, but Roy wins because no current teamate of his has appeared in an All-star game, LeBron has Illgauskas, CP3 has Peja.)  Roy may not be this year's scoring champ, assist leader, or even make first team All NBA, but he IS valuable and has helped turn around this young Portland team.

The college game this year has seen a numerous amount of freshman playing great basketball.  The question is, will one of these freshman have their name called out as next year's first pick?  Better yet, which freshman will it be?  The 2007 draft saw three out of the top four and six of the top ten selections as freshman.  In 2006 freshman Tyrus Thomas was being considered (briefly) to be the number one choice but ended up at number four.  In 2005, Marvin Williams went number two but not until Milwaukee gave him some serious looks.  One similarity in these drafts, a freshman was picked before a senior every time.  That looks to be the case again this season as the timberwolves (barring a repeat of last year's situation where Boston gets the 5th pick, it worked out though) are on the clock and have their choice of Michael Beasley of Kansas State, Eric Gordon of Indiana, Derrick Rose of Memphis, DeAndre Jordan of A&M, or a slew of others who could yet prove worthy.  Each would be a viable choice and look to continue the trend of freshman chosen in the lottery.  Just years ago, taking a freshman (or high school player) meant you were banking on potential and could hope your team re-signs him before he breaks out with another team.  However, no longer are teams grooming the talent the way he would if the prospect stayed in college to develop his game.  Seattle's offense is based on what Durant can do.  The Nuggets relied heavily on Melo, as did the Cavs with James.  Mike Conley now runs Memphis and think how Portland's revival could have benefited from the rebounding and defensive help Oden could have provided. 

Another beast like Beasley could help Jefferson down low, as would the presence of talented big DeAndre Jordan.  But speedy Derrick Rose is a big upgrade over Jaric (and Telfair at this point, or at least until he develops a shot) and Eric Gordon could help take scoring pressure off McCants. 

A big body like Hibbert is tempting, but not quite number one material.  Who do you think should go number 1?

Charles Barkley for governor in Alabama (hopefully) will never happen.  First and foremost, even though he is from Alabama he tried to get on the ticket and did not realize you must have been a resident for seven years before you are eligible (of course he has not lived in Alabama for some time.)  However I would expect him to make it a close race.  Do not underestimate the power of college fans.  If his name were on the ticket, Auburn fans throughout the state who have not voted in years (or maybe ever) would race to the booths the way Charles would race down his cocktail waitress in Vegas when its time for another round (maybe and exagerration there, im sure he has a bottle or five of dom or cristal on hand for all players at the high rollers black jack table.) 

It is not because he refuses to put me in his top five, or his nickname the round mound of rebound, but rather because he would have to put his TNT gig on hold until his time in office runs out.  Each night on TNT, he provides the comedic genious (intentionally and unintentionally) that deserves an emmy.  His bickering with Ernie (who usually has a plethora of stats to prove Sir Charles wrong) and cracks about Kenny make late night television watchable.  His insight comes across as the type of banter you would hear from a fan in a bar after a few drinks, only we get it from Barkley amped up with jokes only he can tell and comments of Ernie and Kenny's faults.  But what are they going to do about Chuck poking fun at them, don't they see what he does to a golf ball?  No one challenges him because no matter how wrong he might be (on those rare occasions) he just gives a glance at Ernie, raises his voice and Ernie gets back to explaining the highlights.  These same highlights are a delight to see because when someone gets dunked on Charles is not coy about it.  The bashing of the defender, the threat to do the same to Kenny, the joke to Ernie "when have you ever done that?" 

Barkley on television was a great idea, and TNT tries less and less to censor him, a great move.  Only if Skip Bayless would be a guest one night and Charles could have his way with him.  Skip may have him intellectually, but Charles wouldn't let him get a word in, embarras him the way of b-rabbit in 8 mile, in my mind that is how it would go down, Chuck would be on the mic and after his bashing Skip would be almost in tears.  Partially because he wouldn't know where to start correcting Charles in all his mi-statements, but mostly because Barkley put him to such great shame.  Make the call TNT, make the call. 

The BCS games yielded a number of I told you so games this year, and we havent heard the last of it yet.  USC beat Illinois, shocker!  UGA beat Hawaii, cue the "Hawaii didnt belong" talk.  And either way the championship goes tonight, Im sure that the overwhelming majority will once again race to their keyboards for another thrilling "I told you so" story.  Well, after the football season, since the NBA lasts too long for some  to make the obvious prediction (ex. I guarantee the celtics win their first round series and here are 38 reasons why!) I can throw out a few gems.  Prediction 1. The sun rises in the morning.  Prediction 2. Tax season is upon us.  Prediction 3. Signing day will be more exciting than last nights GMAC bowl, at least for everyone other that Tulsa fans.  Prediction 4. Easter. And Prediction 5. Manny will be Manny.

    Now that the obvious are out there, I have prepared a few bold predictions that I would like to see a case made for. Bold Prediction scenario 1. Tom Brady punches Mercury Morris after going undefeated.  Bold prediction scenario 2.  Lakers to claim NBA title and Phil somehow spitting out more lame jokes.  Bold prediction scenario 3. A-Rod as world series MVP (and if a compelling enough argument is made here then you get 1/2 his contract, contact Boras for details.)  Bold prediction scenario 4. Playoff hockey sets record for highest ratings ever (America just doesn't care enough to look for the versus network, let alone find it.  And without Sid or two major hockeytowns fighting for the cup, its too tough of a sale.)  Bold prediction scenario 5.  Dale Jr. wins NNC. (will Gordon or Johnson allow new teammate to do so, looking forward to this one.)  And finally, Bold Predictions Scenario 6.  USC could beat Big 12 champion, Big 10 champion, Big East champion, ACC champion, SEC champion, and WAC champion all in the same week.

  My only prediction for now is that well over half of the people that read this post, absolutely hated it.  Oh well, Im one for one in 08!