I’ve quit watching the NFL preseason. As an NFL junkie, I recognize that might be considered blasphemous. I don’t care. I can’t take it any longer.

What have I been doing? I’ve been suckered into watching Bravo’s Project Runway and Work Out. I’ve been taking advantage of my Blockbuster Online membership. I’ve been working on my stuff that, unlike the NFL preseason, might actually matter in the long run. I’ve even been doing the dishes. I’ve been doing anything, and I mean anything, that I possibly can to avoid being bored to death by three-plus-quarters-of-scrubs football. Why? This is why:

Point blank—preseason football is worthless.

Household names like T.O., Tom Brady, Ray Lewis, and L.T. barely even lace up their cleats during the preseason these days, and when they do it’s usually for one scoring drive or one 3-and-out. Out of harms way for most of four quarters, that is. And nobody misses the few highlights star players make during the nanoseconds that they actually do strap on their chinstraps, at least halfway, and play. All of those plays and some serious filler are shown over, and over, and over on Sportscenter. And even if the magnificent moves of the NFL preseason do make you “ewwwwww” and “ahhhhhh,” should they?

During the NFL preseason, T.O. stands for “Time Off.”

Do big preseason plays, hell, even preseason wins amount to anything more substantial once the exhibition games are over? Not really.

I’m no statmonger, but I can’t recall the last time an undefeated preseason team ripped through the NFL regular season like a Hulk Hogan T-shirt on their way to winning the Superbowl. In fact, sometimes it seems like the exact opposite happens with higher frequency. Teams that are established contenders and don’t have anything to really prove during the preseason tend to take it easy during the throwaway exhibition games.

Don’t believe me? The Oakland Raiders’ first string has looked absolutely pathetic thus far. Still, the Raiders are somehow 3-0 in preseason play. Meanwhile, the defending Superbowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers are 0-2. Who actually thinks the Shell-shocked Raiders are better than the Cowher-powered Steelers? I’m definitely not raising my hand.

I’m a die-harder-than-Bruce-Willis Kansas City Chiefs fan and I’m more excited about watching Greg Kinnear play #### Vermeil and Mark Wahlberg play special teams in Invincible than I am watching Herm Edwards play #### Vermeil and a bunch of no-namers play special teams for my Chiefs this August. For now I’ll just watch Sportscenter, check the injury reports, cram for my fantasy football leagues (we do it right—no preseason), and count down the days until the real NFL action begins. Hey, at least I’ll have Heidi Klum to keep me occupied.

Adam: Last Sunday my girlfriend was watching E!’s Stranded With A Star. At first, I thought it was a rather stupid concept, but I decided to give it a shot anyway. 10 minutes later I was hooked. That’s when I decided to call upon some of FOXSports.com's Blog Community’s finest to be panelists and help me bring Stranded With A Star: Sports Edition to the Internet. Like the show, both my panelists and I will vote and select a star from each match-up.

Here’s the concept: You are stranded on an island and can only pick one star from each match-up to be stranded with. If the match-up is your same sex, step into the shoes of the opposite sex as well while making your decision. This star could serve as a friend or a lover or a partner or even as an enemy… the proverbial ball is truly in your court.

Adam: Patrick… I’m a brunette man. Besides, I also have a feeling that Danica will be much more useful on the island. Plus, after seeing that Gatorade commercial, I’ve decided that Jennie’s head is just too damn big.

Norcalfella: Finch… Danica would spend all her time trying to make a car, which isn’t all that important on a one-square-mile island. No thanks; I’ll dial 867-5309 on my Survivor Shane imaginary BlackBerry. Imagine Finch hurling coconuts at wild animals. Perfect hunter.

Ty: Finch…. Nothing wards off potentially dangerous ####, alligators, and other critters like a 100 mph coconut to the head.

Our Pick: Blondes have more fun… Jennie Finch 3-2

Adam: Leinart… Simply because even Paris is less annoying than those five hogs that are always attached to Brady’s hip. Plus, we could try to sell his Heisman Trophy to some pirates for a lift.

Belle: Brady… Oh God, I have to choose? Since I’m still bitter about Matt’s latest “romp,” I’ll take Brady over Leinart simply because Brady has taste and dates real models versus wannabes and reality stars like Paris Hilton and Kristin Cavalleri.

Bluto: Leinart… As a Buffalo guy, I would prefer to be tied down and forced to watch Tara Reid in Urban Legend 1,000 consecutive times than to be on the same island with Tom Brady. I pick Matt and hope he hooks me up with Paris’ sister Nicky whenever we get back.

Our Pick: Trojan Man… Matt Leinart 3-2

Adam: Venus… She seems more ladylike and, unlike Serena, she probably couldn’t kick my ####.

Belle: Neither… ugh… neither… can we say “Amazon?” Both are too intense for my taste. Having physically bumped into one in NYC, let’s just say, "I was scared!"

Norcalfella: Serena… Has to be Serena, another man on the island would be helpful around camp.

Our Pick: Two sisters for the price of one… Tie 2-2-0

Adam: Kobe… Anyone who can score 81 points in today’s NBA would find a way to get us off that rock. Hopefully, there wouldn’t be a trial when we returned.

Belle: Wade… Wow… I used to think I knew the answer to this, but after watching the Heat play in the Playoffs, Wade’s stock is rising. If I went off something purely superficial, say, looks—there is something damn sexy about Wade that reminds me of Jordan.

Bluto: LeBron… Can we include Shawn Kemp in this group? If one chick happens to find her away around he can populate the entire island. If not I’ll go with LeBron. He carried the entire Cavs on his back. Surely he can carry me around if I grow weary.

Ty: None of the above… Dwight Howard. Metal from his orthodontic retainer could be melted and molded into a trap for catching small game and large fish.

Our Pick: Flash to the rescue… Dwyane Wade 2-1-1-0

Bluto: Vanessa… I’m an old school cat. Back in 1984 when I was in seventh grade, Penthouse became my first nudy magazine purchase (Well sorta, someone bought it for me). Not coincidentally, Vanessa was on the cover. I’ve been obsessed ever since.

Norcalfella: Vanessa…. Watching Halle get nasty with Billy Bob destroyed the fantasy. Vanessa moving from Laker player to Laker fan might be a massive downgrade, but after months of being stranded I think I could woo her into some island love.

Ty: Halle… Could potentially do that crazy telekinetic trick from X-Men and turn a scary experience into a nice little Saturday.

Our Pick: Eraser Girl upsetting Catwoman… Vanessa Williams 3-2

Adam: Dirk… I’m German, he’s German. If we found any beer (preferably Beck’s or Warsteiner) we’d be set. Besides, Nash’s nasty finger licking habit would get old. I’d want to slap the dude.

Belle: Dirk… Because Germany is an awesome place to party and I can just imagine hitting up ‘Tanz-Palast’ in Düsseldorf and throwing back a few Vodka-Red Bulls and dancing like idiots until 6AM and grabbing donner kebab on the way home before crashing at sunrise.

Norcalfella: Nash... If there are any primates on the island I envision him organizing them into a basketball team for some instant entertainment.

Our Pick: Just like his hero Hasselhoff on Baywatch… Dirk Nowitzki 3-2

Adam: Beckham… After Brazil President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva called Ronaldo fat, I’m rolling with Posh ####e’s man. I never thought that I’d say that, but I don’t want Ronaldo sitting on his #### and eating up all of my grub.

Bluto: Ronaldo… Here’s what I know about soccer: A bunch of friends and I get drunk and my one buddy starts talking about soccer and what a good goalie he was. Collectively we try to assure him soccer isn’t a sport unless you live in Argentina. One thing leads to another, and we’re in the backyard booting soccer balls at him against an imaginary net (garage). I just flipped a coin.

Ty: Beckham… His mere absence from the English soccer scene would undoubtedly trigger a media frenzy that would unleash the world's biggest manhunt and pave the way for my eventual return back to the civilized world.

Our Pick: Bend it with Beckham… David Beckham 4-1

Adam: Anna… She had me at the Marilyn Monroe shot. Sure, maybe Maria is the better player, but what does that have to do with being stranded on an island?

Bluto: Maria… A former girlfriend bought me an Enrique Iglesias CD. I recently burned it. I’m not too fond of Sergei Fedorov. Didn’t Anna use up Pavel Bure too? Way too much baggage for my liking. In my fantasy world, every chick is saving herself for me.

Norcalfella: Anna… Because in the unlikely event we are able to fashion a tennis court I would want to win.

Our Pick: Substance over style… Maria Sharapova 3-2

Adam: Leo & Gwen… Jack’s too old to contribute and Leo proved his resourcefulness in Catch Me If You Can and his toughness in Gangs of New York. As for the ladies, I’ll roll with Leo’s The Aviator co-star (if you can even call it that) Gwen. I like Salma, but Gwen’s style puts her over the top.

Belle: Jack & Gwen… Fine conversation should always be accompanied with good music.

Ty: Jack & Salma… Nicholson's industrial-strength sunglasses could be stolen and used against dangerous UV rays and driving sandstorms, while Hayek.... ahhh... I would pay to be on a deserted island with Hayek. Plus, Leo had his big chance on a deserted island in The Beach, and that didn't work out so well.

Our Picks: No Doubt, this is As Good As It Gets… Jack Nicholson 4-1 & Gwen Stefani 3-2

Adam: Gonzalez… Gonzo’s my boy. He’s a lifelong Chief and might as well be the mayor of my birthplace—Kansas City. How can I go against him? I can’t.

Belle: Taylor… No clue. They both have foundations. They both have awesome six-packs. Maybe Taylor because Miami seems more sexy than Kansas City and an easier place to be a bona fide “ladies man.”

Ty: Taylor… The only choice here that didn't kill my fantasy team the last two seasons. Thanks for nothing, Gonzo.

Our Pick: We’ve gone Gonzo… Tony Gonzalez 3-2

Adam: Ichiro… Unlike Damon, he doesn’t “act like Judas” or “throw like Mary.” Also, Ichiro could hit a fruit fly with a coffee straw blindfolded. He'd be an awesome hunting wingman.

Bluto: Damon… But only if A-Rod can be there as well. You see, I’m no longer a Yankees fan (go Royals) and I would love to see Damon pass out from the sweltering island heat, which in turn would force A-Rod to give him mouth-to-mouth with his big, bright purple lips.

Norcalfella: Damon… Just to watch the beard grow back.

Ty: Damon… Could regrow his "####" hairstyle and make friends with the native animals of the island, which would be vital to any long-term stay.

Our Pick: “####” Savant… Johnny Damon 3-2

Adam: Barberie… Any of these fine women would be a huge upgrade over Wilson the Volleyball, but her brand of meteorology could make any man tune in. How’s this for a forecast: Clear skies, lots of sun, 100% chance of Jillian.

Belle: Guerrero… None of them! Belle of the Ball is positioned to come in and blow the competition away… once someone finally gives her a contract! To be fair, Lisa G. is a mentor of mine and having followed much of her advice, I have to give it to a woman who had the guts to pose for Playboy at age 40. That’s inspiration!

Norcalfella: Bernstein… B squared by far. I admit to leering at her at the Oakland Coliseum on more than one occasion. Plus, when she worked NFL games her preparation was impeccable so we'd talk football incessantly.

Ty: Two words: Erin Andrews. The only sideline reporter who seems like the Cool Chick you knew in college that liked Madden '04 and the edited version of Major League II.

Our Pick: Case of the Mondays… Lisa Guerrero 2-1-1-1

Adam: Well, that’s a wrap. First, I want to thank my panelists for their huge contributions. You all did an excellent job.

Now, I want to hear the rest of your opinions. Go down the list and vote, and feel free to say why you made those decisions. I will do a special post to announce the readers’ choices sometime mid-week. Also, I want to hear what match-ups you would like to see on Stranded With A Star: Sports Edition II. Let me know, because your pick might just make the cut.

I went to see the new X-men movie, X-Men: The Last Stand, Friday night. It’s a pretty decent flick, especially if you like summer popcorn movies jam-packed with action and special effects sequences. As always, super thespian Ian McKellen brought the drama, while Famke Janssen, Halle Berry, and Rebecca Romijn brought the hotness. Kelsey Grammer and Patrick Stewart also turned in fine performances. Some X-Men fanboys and fangirls are apparently disappointed with the mishandling of several things and the not-so-faithful script, as was I to some extent, but overall the film was rather enjoyable.

What does X-Men have to do with sports? Everything.

During the movie I started comparing the sports world to the X-Men world. Dominant athletes in our world are rare. Dominant mutants in the X-Men world are just as scarce. Then I started thinking—which of today’s athletes are mutant-esque? That’s when I came up with this post of “X-Athletes” to be “My Last Stand” of NGS II Round 1. If I could re-cast the mutants of X-Men: The Last Stand with personalities from the sports world, this is how I would do it…

Magneto is the biggest villain the world of X-Men has ever known. Steinbrenner is the biggest villain the world of sports has ever known. Magneto uses his ability to control magnetic fields in his attempts to wipe out humankind. Steinbrenner uses his deep pockets in his attempts to wipe out the rest of baseball. Neither man has succeeded in their destructive quests, but both have come close several times.

Who else could manage the massive egos of mutant superstars Wolverine, Cyclops, Storm, and Jean Grey, but “Headmaster” Professor X. Who else could manage the massive egos of basketball superstars Shaq, Kobe, Air Jordan, Dennis Rodman and Scottie Pippen, but “Zenmaster” Jackson? Professor X can read minds. Jackson can seemingly read the minds of opposing coaches. One lived in a mutant commune, the other should live in a hippy commune.

Miami Heat Center Shaquille O’Neal as “Colossus”

Colossus and Shaq are men of steel that tower over the competition. Both men are extremely valuable to their respective teams. Neither one of them impresses us with their vernacular.

Walls don’t stop either of these standouts. Pryde phases through them, Pierre elevates over them. Pryde robbed Juggernaut in the movie, Pierre robbed Barry Bonds in real life.

Both of these massive men are believed to harvest their unrivaled power from a supernatural energy source. If that isn’t enough of a similarity, just compare the size of their gigantic noggins.

These pretty boys have a penchant for dating Maxim-quality tail. Other than that, they both shoot out projectiles with laser-like precision. Cyclops shoots out laser beams from his eyes, while Brady fires footballs from his golden arm. Each of these heroes is often viewed to be the glue that holds together their respective team.

As a mutant, Rogue was one of the best ever. As a player, Zeke was one of the best ever. As a person, Rogue sucks the life out of and ultimately kills anybody she touches. As an executive, Thomas has sucked the life out of the Knicks, and he might just kill off the franchise if he isn’t removed.

Check out this quote from the good people over at Marvel—“The Beast possesses superhuman strength, agility, endurance, and speed, despite his bulk.” Sounds like QB-killer Freeney to me. Both “animals” also don a bright shade of blue while reeking havoc on opponents.

The baby-faced Iceman can do just about anything with ice. The baby-faced “Sid the Kid” can do just about anything on ice. Both Iceman and Crosby do there fair share of whining.

Pyro, a young mutant struggling with his emotions, doesn’t always put the fire he can summon to good use. Artest, a young superstar struggling with his emotions, doesn’t always put the fire he can summon to good use. Both are capable of burning either the opposition or their teammates, and both have during their turbulent pasts.

Mystique can psionically shift her body to replicate any human. Bush can shift his body to replicate what any skill player has ever done on a football field. Before Friday, I thought both were impossible to catch.

As Jean Grey of the X-Men, Grey was great. When she became the Phoenix, she was almost unstoppable. As a Dallas Maverick, Nash was great. Since he became a Phoenix Sun, he’s been almost unstoppable. Both Grey and Nash possess telepathic powers (Nash at least comes close), can control objects and others around them, and look good doing what they do. They both are dangerous, though. Grey as the Phoenix nearly destroyed humankind. Nash with Phoenix might destroy basketball by letting aspiring hoopsters watch him play defense.

Bryant and Angel have a ton in common. They are products of relatively famous fathers and enjoyed privileged upbringings. However, they also endured troubling times as young adults and are trying to restore their now-damaged reputations. Will Angel’s and Kobe’s “wings” allow them to soar to the heights needed in order to revive their reps?

Each sister possesses the requisite beauty and abilities to play this role. Serena and Venus have been known to whirlwind around the court as they unleash a “Storm” of serves, volleys, lobs, and overhead smashes on opponents.

Wolverine: A moxie-filled man with incredible mutant healing powers. Continues to perform at a high level despite his old age. Typically beats the odds and conquers any obstacle. Vastly popular.

Farve: see WOLVERINE.