I’ve quit watching the NFL preseason. As an NFL junkie, I recognize that might be considered blasphemous. I don’t care. I can’t take it any longer.

What have I been doing? I’ve been suckered into watching Bravo’s Project Runway and Work Out. I’ve been taking advantage of my Blockbuster Online membership. I’ve been working on my stuff that, unlike the NFL preseason, might actually matter in the long run. I’ve even been doing the dishes. I’ve been doing anything, and I mean anything, that I possibly can to avoid being bored to death by three-plus-quarters-of-scrubs football. Why? This is why:

Point blank—preseason football is worthless.

Household names like T.O., Tom Brady, Ray Lewis, and L.T. barely even lace up their cleats during the preseason these days, and when they do it’s usually for one scoring drive or one 3-and-out. Out of harms way for most of four quarters, that is. And nobody misses the few highlights star players make during the nanoseconds that they actually do strap on their chinstraps, at least halfway, and play. All of those plays and some serious filler are shown over, and over, and over on Sportscenter. And even if the magnificent moves of the NFL preseason do make you “ewwwwww” and “ahhhhhh,” should they?

During the NFL preseason, T.O. stands for “Time Off.”

Do big preseason plays, hell, even preseason wins amount to anything more substantial once the exhibition games are over? Not really.

I’m no statmonger, but I can’t recall the last time an undefeated preseason team ripped through the NFL regular season like a Hulk Hogan T-shirt on their way to winning the Superbowl. In fact, sometimes it seems like the exact opposite happens with higher frequency. Teams that are established contenders and don’t have anything to really prove during the preseason tend to take it easy during the throwaway exhibition games.

Don’t believe me? The Oakland Raiders’ first string has looked absolutely pathetic thus far. Still, the Raiders are somehow 3-0 in preseason play. Meanwhile, the defending Superbowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers are 0-2. Who actually thinks the Shell-shocked Raiders are better than the Cowher-powered Steelers? I’m definitely not raising my hand.

I’m a die-harder-than-Bruce-Willis Kansas City Chiefs fan and I’m more excited about watching Greg Kinnear play #### Vermeil and Mark Wahlberg play special teams in Invincible than I am watching Herm Edwards play #### Vermeil and a bunch of no-namers play special teams for my Chiefs this August. For now I’ll just watch Sportscenter, check the injury reports, cram for my fantasy football leagues (we do it right—no preseason), and count down the days until the real NFL action begins. Hey, at least I’ll have Heidi Klum to keep me occupied.