To paraphrase Jon Stewart’s intro for Daily Show correspondent Lewis Black, “Sometimes a news story falls through the cracks, here to catch them is Chris Vining, with his column, Delusions of Randomness.” So I will touch upon stories that didn’t get big headlines, but are still important.

 

Baseball

The Red Sox finally decided to give Terry Francona (the most successful Sox manager in decades) a three-year contract extension. Francona is now signed through 2011, and as long as nothing drastic changes (Manny Ramirez goes insane and tries to mentor upcoming prospects)he has a great chance to lead the Red Sox to another World Series Championship in the next four years. Francona is a class act and does a great job of handling the Boston media.

Kudos to the Red Sox for signing Bartolo Colon to a minor league contract this week. Curt Schilling will be lucky if he can pitch with any effectiveness again, and Colon is a low risk (and cost) investment to make sure the Sox have depth in the rotation. Colon is not the Cy Young pitcher he was, and despite being an injury risk, he provides Clay Buchholz a chance to be brought along slowly. If the Sox can get anything above twenty starts they would be in a great position, as Colon can still pitch when he is on his game. For those people complaining about the rich getting richer, Colon was still unsigned when Spring Training opened, and was signed for chump change. He was more than fair game.

The Tampa Bay Rays dropped the “Devil” from their name but they might sign the Devil to their roster. Barry Bonds has arisen as a target for Tampa, which might not be as bad of an idea as it sounds. The Rays are young and talented, and Bonds would take a rapidly improving offense to dangerous levels. Bonds would also provide insurance for Cliff Floyd and Roco Baldelli. If Evan Longoria can be effective in the Majors this year, than the Rays have one of the top 10 offenses in baseball, and that is without Bonds. Adding the *All-Time Home Run King* would make the Rays a Wild Card threat, but the health of Scott Kazmir and Troy Percival will be key factors toward the Rays’ quest to get out of the AL East cellar.

Koby Clemens has been caught in a very tough spot for the Astros. While he is in Major League Spring Training he is subject to the substance advise of Miguel Tejada. If/when Koby is sent to Minor League Camp he will have his father to talk with. The younger Clemens should say he has visa problems and skip camp, or show up for another teams’ Spring Training.

Not only is Jonathan Papelbon the best young closer in baseball he showed that he could bust a move during the playoffs, and people took notice. Paps was offered a spot as a contestant on Dancing With the Stars, however he turned it down when he realized he had to dance to music that wasn’t played by the Dropkick Murphys.

 

Football

Zach Thomas and Jason Taylor are family, and were teammates on the Dolphins up until Bill Parcells rolled into town. Taylor is now working on his footwork as a member of the Dancing With the Stars cast. Thomas was pushed into the unemployment line until Jerry Jones offered Thomas a chance to play in his home state of Texas. Thomas will make the Cowboys better on defense, even if his skills are diminishing. His knowledge and leadership will be key to the Cowboys defense, and his locker room presence cannot be underestimated. He also hates vacationing during bye weeks.

The Atlanta Falcons won the coin flip to give them the third pick in the upcoming NFL Draft. The downside is that the Falcons have so many holes that they could have used a lower pick. The benefit is that more players would be off the board so they would have an easier time picking which player will be blamed for a string of losing seasons.

Peter King of Sports Illustrated predicted that the Giants would win the Super Bowl against the Patriots if they could apply consistent pressure on Brady. He also suggested the Giants might win if they could outscore the Patriots. I am a Peter King fan but my three year old knew the game was in trouble when the Pat’s line had trouble blocking the rush.

Rex Grossman was resigned to a one year, three million-dollar contract by the Chicago Bears. No seriously, the Bears resigned him and Kyle Orton in the same week. That is a punch line, but I can’t even come up with a joke.

 

Basketball

Former players Keith Van Horn and Aaron McKie were included in trades despite not being active players. In an attempt to bolster their roster the Celtics had a trade in place to send Bob Cousy to Memphis for Mike Conley. Memphis was looking to add veteran leadership and cut payroll (Cousy was making 5 figures in his last contract) and the deal was perfect for both sides. The trade fell through at the last minute when Memphis was unable to find a pair of shorts short enough for Cousy to wear. 

Yao Ming suffered a stress fracture in his foot and now will be out for the season. While this is a shot to the Rockets playoff chances, the worse news is that Yao’s backup is Dikembe Mutombo, who has scored a whopping seven points this season. The Rockets do not have any players 6’10’’ or taller besides Steve Novak, who weighs in at a massive 220 pounds and has played less than fifty career games.

Sam Cassell has asked to be bought out of his contract with the Los Angeles Clippers so he can sign with (most likely) Boston or Denver. What makes Sam I Am even more attractive is that he has already missed 15 games due to injuries this year. When questioned about his health Cassell had this to say, “The Celtics are getting damaged goods if I do go over there," Cassell said. "But I'll be all right." Nothing says sign me like that quote.

 

NASCAR

Dale Earnhardt Jr. has a new team but the same winning ways. Junior hasn’t been allowed in the winner’s circle in over five-dozen races. Maybe he should spend less time doing commercials and spend more time on figuring out why his engines keep blowing up. Just a thought, I’m no car expert.

 

Hockey

The trade deadline just passed and players were moving all over North America (except to Mexico, there is no ice there). The Penguins acquired Marian Hossa, the top forward available, and the player that can put the Penguins in position for a Stanley Cup run. Wait, Penguins adding payroll? Weren’t they going to be sold and moved to Canada earlier this year?

In what has become an all too familiar scenario, the Boston Bruins promised to be active at the trade deadline but failed to bring in anyone at all, even a fourth line bench warmer. The Bruins are clinging to a playoff spot but are falling fast. Why are season ticket sales down again?

 

That is all I have this week, remember if you heard it here first you need to pay closer attention to real sports reporters! I will be back when I return.

 

The Giants won the Super Bowl fair and square, they knew what they had to do to disrupt the Patriots and they did. I am not taking their win away from them at all. The Patriots had plenty of time in the game to make adjustments, but it was too little too late, and they made some bad decisions. For the first time all year the ball didn't bounce the Patriots way.

However I would be remiss if I didn't share this tidbit I found that shows something was up with the clock in the final two minutes. Click the link and watch for yourself. The video isn't great but it is explained very well and shows that there was a questionable finish to that game that nobody is talking about.

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_
id=27384

This link shows a video of how the refs screwed over the Pats in the last 90+ seconds of the Super Bowl. The funny thing is that the issues the person mentions (uncalled penalties, clock issues) are not reviewable. I thought something seemed wrong watching the last part of the game, and I was positive I saw the game clock go from :58 to :59 before a play.

The Pats should have tried to go for a field goal, but this shows the Giants never even had enough time to get the touchdown pass off. If the clock was run correctly than the plays would have been different and they still may have scored, but we will never know. Move over 1985 Draft Ewing Envelope, we have a new New York conspiracy!

Added Later

As far as the Super Bowl, I am not taking anything away from the Giants, they won fair and square. They had a game plan to win, stuck to it, and took home the brass ring. I am in no way disputing that at all. A sincere congrats to them, they did what nobody else this year could do.

I also admit that the Pats got their share of lucky calls and bounces this year, I said that (the failed 4th down in the Ravens game for instance). This isn't an issue of sour grapes, there is nothing saying that the Giants still wouldn't have won if the clock did go differently. My entire point is that even the announcers saw there was an issue with the clock several times, and you don't see time being added back onto the clock very often without any ref explanation.

As for the time out, the coach can't run onto the field and make contact with a ref, that is a penalty, there is no dispute. If there were no refs near Coughlin then Manning should have called the time out on the field. I find it strange that the ref let illegal contact and an illegal time out happen. Sure it is easy to get cought up in the moment,especially in that big o####ame in a game deciding drive, I am just surprised that none of the officials either threw a flag or disallowed the time out until a player on the field called it.

The entire point is that everyone, even a HOF QB and anti-Boston announcer Joe Buck admitted there was something wrong with the clock, however nobody seemed mentioned it. Both teams played a sloppy offensive game until late in the 4th and could have won easily, but it didn't happen. It just adds more interest to the way the game ended and that the game was great. 

Whenever the topic of the New England Patriots recent audiovisual scandal was mentioned one though jumped to the forefront of my mind. Hemorrhoid cream. Strange I know, but it is a quasi-logical progression of mind ramblings that makes at least some sense. Eric Mangini was once a Patriots defensive coordinator who left to coach the New York Jets, a job the Bill Belichick didn’t think was the best fit for him. Since that time Mangini has been determined to use any and all means he has at his disposal to hurt his former club. He signed free agents that didn’t have any real spot on the Jets roster, but their departure left a void for the Patriots. Mangini has seemed focused on beating his former boss, almost to the point of obsession. If the Patriots had been violating league rules than it is possible that a former employee would know what to look for and where to look (especially if he was the beneficiary of information while with the Patriots).

Take a stroll down memory lane almost a quarter century ago to another game in New York, this time at Yankee Stadium. New York Yankees manager Billy Martin (in his 6th of 14th stint as Yankees manager) had inside information that Kansas City Royals future Hall of Fame third baseman George Brett had an illegal amount of pine tar on his bat. When Brett hit a go ahead home run in the ninth inning, Martin used the information he knew about the illegal bat (information which he had been keeping secret until he needed it) to convince the umpires that Brett had broken the rules. The umpires agreed, the home run was negated, and George Brett produced one of the most famous tirades in sports history. After MLB officials decided that Brett didn’t “Break the spirit of the rules” the game continued and the Royals won. George Brett went on to become the most famous Preparation-H spokesperson ever, and Billy Martin became yet another bitter New York coach.

So Eric Mangini takes his inside information, squeals once the Patriots beat his team, and gets revenge on his former employer. If the Patriots were not videotaping or using radio signals to help beat the Jets they may have only won by 17 not by 24 (38-14). The Jets are a fringe playoff team at best, and even if the Pats did cheat, they didn’t need to to beat the Jets. The last thing you want to do is #### off Bill Belichick and the Patriots, and San Diego found that out in a big way on Sunday, losing 38-14. San Diego was a Super Bowl favorite and the Patriots simply abused them for sixty minutes Sunday night, just like how Sixty Minutes abuses common sense earlier on Sunday nights. The Patriots have already been fined and forced to forfeit a first round pick (they won’t miss the playoffs and have to give up the second and third round picks) and it seems like Mangini will do anything he can to try to get the Pats to be forced to forfeit their win. Are the Jets that desperate for a win? Well, they should be.

A few things strike me as unusual about this entire situation, besides that one of the best coaches ever felt the need to try to evade the rules. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell was interviewed before the Patriots/Chargers game and he seemed to be hiding that this story still had a few chapters left, and that he expected that there would be more issues for the Pats in the future (and the questions about which first round pick the Pats would have to give up seemed to surprise him, almost as if he didn’t know that the Pats own the 49ers first rounder next year). During the game we were informed that the Jets are now accusing the Patriots of using radio transmitters in the defensive players helmets in an attempt to relay signals to try to shut down the Jets anemic offense. Despite missing Pro Bowl defensive end Richard Seymour with a knee injury, Pro Bowl safety Rodney Harrison to a league suspension, and only getting limited action from Pro Bowl cornerback Asante Samuel, the Patriots still dominated the Jets (and Chargers as well). The Patriots don’t need any help to dominate; they don’t even need their best players on the field.

When John Madden was talking about the usefulness of videotaping opponents, he actually made an insightful comment, which is a news story in itself. Madden commented that he never needed video because it took away from natural coaching instincts, and created too much confusion. With only seconds before each snap, substituting personnel and changing formations seems to be a bit prohibitive to running a smooth defense. This would be a very uncharacteristic and reactionary tactic for a coach like Belichick that prides himself on making teams adjust to what he brings to the table.

Now that the Patriots have to turn over any and all notes, video, audio, and who knows what else, to the NFL will this show the Pats have been cheating, or that one former coach was a bit bitter? While most coaches seem to be against Mangini, you can’t fault him for trying to protect his team. In the end it won’t make a difference, the Patriots will cruise to the AFC East Crown, finish first or second in the AFC, and will make the AFC Championship, if not advance even further. With scandal surrounding this team, the Patriots are the one franchise that has consonantly been able to thrive when their backs are against the wall, and this team will be no different, just don’t hold your breath waiting for Tom Brady to endorse rectal cream.

Unless the news comes from this man it is a lie!

visit www.sportspunk.com for my own unique website 

Now that the NFL has officially kicked off its season, it is time to make my foolproof predictions on what to expect this year. Every person has their own opinions on who will be MVP, will win the Super Bowl, who will be the breakout rookie or the biggest bust. While I will briefly touch on a few of those subjects (Super Bowl rematch, just not a rematch of last years’ game) I will cover things you might not have considered. If by some stretch of the imagination one or two of these predictions don’t come true (even I am not perfect) you will have forgotten what I said by that time.

• Brady Quinn will be the starter in Cleveland by Week 6
• While Peyton Manning struggles to have his blindside protected, Dallas Clark will catch 70 balls and break 1000 yards receiving
• The Lions will not finish 10-6 as Jon Kitna predicted, however they will not have a losing season (8-8) for the first time since Barry Sanders was in diapers
• Jerry Porter would have worn Tim Brown’s #81 with pride, and put up numbers that Brown would be envious of, 80 catches and 1400 yards
• Teams playing the Falcons will stack the line and force Joey Harrington to beat them. Harrington will do just enough to remain a starter until the Falcons’ 2008 first round pick Brian Brohm is ready to start
• Ahman Green and Ron Dayne will be solid but Matt Schaub will find out that he would have been better off had he stayed in Atlanta
• Jamarcus Russell holdout and time on the bench will last until Daunte Culpepper wants out of Oakland
• Randy Moss will lead the Patriots wide receivers in touchdowns, Donte Stallworth will lead the team in yards per catch, but Wes Welker will lead the team in receptions and yards
• Ben Roethlisberger will be a top five AFC quarterback this year, and Santonio Holmes will be the wide receiver you wish you drafted in your fantasy league
• The Rams will have the best offense in the NFC. As far as their defense…well they will still have a great offense
• Automatic Adam Vinatieri will struggle to make any kick outdoors that is longer than 40 yards. He will no longer be automatic
• Clinton Portis will not be happy when Ladell Betts starts to take his carries, and Portis will demand to leave Washington
• The Super Bowl will be a rematch (with the same outcome) of Super Bowl 36. New England Patriots defeating the St Louis Rams
• The Broncos will have the best pass defense in football (thanks to Champ Bailey, Dre Bly, and Dominique Foxworth) but they will have a tough time stopping a practice squad running game
• Marshawn #### will lead rookies in first half rushing yards, while Adrian Peterson will lead rookies in second half rushing yards. Both will rush for over 1000 yards but neither player will be enough to help his team reach the playoffs
• The defensive rookie of the year will be Buffalo Bills linebacker Paul Posluszny
• This will be the year that Rex Grossman finally steps up his game and shows us that he is really better than Danny Wuerfful, not the Florida Gators version, but the NFL version. By 2010 Grossman may be able to actually deserve to be a starter…in the CFL
• Jamal Lewis will gain more yards than Willis McGahee, but the Ravens will still sneak into the playoffs while Lewis will be home watching
• No New England Patriot defensive player will record 10 sacks, 6 interceptions, or top 120 tackles, but the Pat’s will still have the best defense in football
• Brett Favre will still think about a comeback after another season of streaky play
• Cedric Benson will be steady as the Bears running back, however he would be more effective if Garrett Wolfe saw time in the backfield with him. Picture the thunder and lightning combo of Warrick Dunn and Mike Alstott of the late 90’s
• Edgerrin James will use a vastly improved offensive line to look like the Edge that the Cardinals thought they had signed before last year
• The Madden cover curse will strike again, however Vince Young will remain healthy. Young’s curse will be that he has no wide receivers to throw to and no running backs to run the ball. Young will lead the Titans in rushing, mostly due to running for his life on passing plays
• Jacksonville will need to count on Tim Couch to win at least one game, and the former #1 overall pick will deliver
• The Bears were smart to convert Devin Hester to offense. They will use him all over the field (including in the backfield) to confuse opposing defenses. Hester will have more value as a decoy on offense than as a receiver, but anything that takes pressure off of Rex Grossman is a positive thing
• Carson Palmer will put up the best passing yards for any quarterback in the NFL. Peyton who?
• Byron Leftwich will end up in the NFC by Week 3 and will start at least five games. Leftwich can stand pat until the first major injury of a starting quarterback, however the Vikings should be willing to give him his own boat to join the team. Nothing against Tarvaris Jackson but he is Quincy Carter all over again. He was picked two rounds too soon, was rushed into a starting job he wasn’t ready or qualified for, and will have his career crushed. Expect to see him out of the league before Michael Vick begins playing in the NFL again.

Over two-dozen predictions, no off color jokes (sorry, maybe next time) and a wide range from safe to outrageous. Nothing left to do than sit back, relax, and enjoy the season. 

There are too many things to write about in sports at the moment, and it is too hot and humid to cover them all. So, without any further adieu, another version of Quick Hits.

Bid Adieu to Adu

The future of American soccer is going to Portugal to be a reserve. That suits me just fine, as Freddy Adu needs to play against bigger, stronger competition. He showed his skills while playing in International tournaments, but he was never a good fit for the MLS. Adu playing overseas for a few years will only help him to become a star on the next World Cup Team.

Hug A Timberwolves Fan

Very few people in Minnesota were happy to see Kevin Garnett leave, and I can understand that. However, the Wolves were never going to get by the second round unless Garnett was traded. Now you have an amazing team that will only get better. On top of receiving two future first round picks, you now have one of the best young low post players in the game, almost $12 million in cap room for next year, and the deepest 2-4 positions in the league. Add in a center or point guard as a free agent or in the draft and the Wolves could be in the Finals in a few years.

Vick Helps the Falcons

No bad mouthing of Michael Vick or what he did, I’ll leave that to the courts. Was does amaze me is that Joey Harrington is now in a position to lead a solid offense that could actually result in a playoff birth. Harrington showed that he has skill in Miami last year and now has a good line, solid backs, an All-Pro tight end, and veteran receivers. Harrington may actually post a winning record for the first time since college.

Titans Hurt Pacman

The NFL did the right thing by suspending Pacman Jones, but the Titans haven’t handled the situation very well. If Jones wants to wrestle for TNA than let him, it is the safest thing for him. He will be surrounded by people who are big enough to take out his bodyguards, he can’t bring guns into Universal Studios, he will stay in shape, and there is a good chance a few steel chair shots to the head may knock some common sense into him. The man just wants to earn a living.

Spiderman is Back

Tony Stewart has now won three of the last four NASCAR races and Dale Earnhardt Jr. is struggling. What does this mean for the average person? More Stewart commercials, less Dale Jr. (I couldn’t care less as long as I don’t have to watch NASCAR. If they only could keep Peyton Manning off of my television I would be happy.)

756*

Let me just get a few things out in the open to clear any misconceptions. Bonds used steroids, there are literally books of evidence (and phone books worth of witnesses) supporting this, he just is smart enough not to fail a drug test. His former mistress is going to be in Playboy but it isn’t because she looks attractive, in fact I think Bonds may have injected her with testosterone. Alex Rodriguez will break whatever the record is that Bonds retires with. Arod will top 800 home runs; Bonds will be lucky to see 775. Hank Aaron’s tribute video was classy, and also a funny #### slap to Bonds. If I caught the record breaking ball I would have done one of two things: Hand it to Bonds in exchange for his immediate retirement and seclusion, or given it to the Hall of Fame if they banned Bonds for life a la Pete Rose.

Yankees

Even though the trade deadline passed without any big moves from the Bronx Bombers, they still have until August 31st for any waiver wire deals. They will make at least two deals to help the team, and they will win the wildcard, no matter how much people wish they would just miss the playoffs.

D’OHtel

The Braves made a big splash getting a premier power hitter, three lefties for their bullpen, and a solid closer in Octavio Dotel. The bad news is that Dotel hit the DL before he could get his uniform sweaty.

300 Win Club

Welcome Tom Glavine into the 300 win club, just the 5th lefty to reach that milestone. It is amazing to think that Glavine almost decided to play hockey instead of baseball. This couldn’t have happened to a more professional player.

Madden 08

Vince Young has the honor of gracing the cover of Madden 08. Maybe the reason Pacman Jones was suspended was so that he couldn’t accidentally shoot Young. Based on previous cover jinxes, Young will play 12 games this year and the Titans will miss the playoffs.

Rick Ankiel

Doesn’t that name take you back? A 21-year-old top-pitching prospect is now back in the Majors as a power-hitting outfielder. Ankiel hit three home runs in his first week since coming back to the Cardinals, and could combine to hit 50 home runs between Triple-A and Saint Louis this year.

Tiger Woods

Tiger won his 13th Major and 4th PGA Championship Sunday. The big news is that he only won one Major this year. How is he supposed to support his new family if he can’t win the big ones anymore?

 

Twelve topics while sick on a Sunday afternoon. Not bad, plus it keeps people reading until I have something meaningful to say, or at least until I have the time to say it.  

While I am not one to give advice to anyone on how to handle his or her career, I would be remiss if I didn’t pass on a bit of wisdom to the New England Patriots’ star cornerback Asante Samuel. “Pin Me, Pay Me”. This is a common wrestling quote, especially among the rank and file of the average wrestlers. If you want to get paid (as the tattoo on Samuel’s arm says) you need to pay your dues, work your kiester off, and not complain. When you work hard success will come to you. Last year Samuel had an amazing year, and was one of the best cornerbacks in the league. I can completely understand that he wants to be paid on the level of players he thinks he measures up with (Champ Bailey, Charles Woodson, Dre’ Bly, Chris McAllister, etc) but Samuel has had one stellar year in his young career. Samuel has the talent to prove last year was no fluke and become another shut down cornerback, but sitting around and whining about the amount of money you are making doesn’t help anyone.

Do the Patriots need Asante Samuel to win the Super Bowl? He would be crucial but not irreplaceable. When the Patriots won their last Super Bowl, they had a starting cornerback who was an undrafted rookie that wasn’t even a starter on his college team. The Patriots have more depth at cornerback than in recent years and could cover for the loss of Samuel if he sits out the majority of this year as he has threatened. Samuel needs the Pats more than they need him. Asante has had one good year and one stellar year, but if he sits on the shelf and then tries to jump into the rotation late in the season he will be rusty. Samuel will be getting his legs back once the receivers he is covering have already hit their stride. If Samuel only thinks about the money than he needs to think not about his salary this year, but the contract he will be able to get as a free agent after this year. The 49ers gave Nate Clements an eight-year, eighty million-dollar contract despite not even being the best cornerback on the Bills (the team he left). If Samuel can repeat his performance from last year he could easily have his choice of teams and be pulling down eight figures a year after this year.

The issue with athletes today is that they don’t look at the big picture, and in most cases, their agents only make things worse. Samuel should have a sit down conversation with Tedy Bruschi. Before he had his stroke Bruschi served as his own agent, and didn’t have a money grubbing talking head putting ideas in his ear. The days of athletes making their own deals are returning, most likely because they want control over their careers. More athletes need to think about this option because who knows what you want more than yourself? Instead of athletes worrying about squeezing every dime out of their talent they can at every opportunity, they should be focused on the big picture of their career. Asante Samuel is more concerned about his salary this year, and doing things on his own terms, than focusing on the bridges he is burning and the extra money he could be making over the rest of his career. Can someone please find Asante, slap some sense into him, and drag him to Foxboro where he can gain another Super Bowl ring and show he has the talent to back up the demands of the tattoo on his arm.

Once again the New England Patriots are the team to beat in the NFL. Tom Brady is an amazing QB but needed weapons, and now he has more weapons than the US Army. Randy Moss, Donte Stallworth, Wes Welker, Kelley Washington, Reche Caldwell, Andre Johnson, and Troy Brown are the best wide Receiver corps in football. Ben Watson is one of the games' top pass couching Tight Ends. Laurence Maroney is a legit #1, Sammy Morris is a top big back, Heath Evans is a solid fullback, and Kevin Faulk is a stellar third down back. Throw in added depth on the offensive line acquired in the draft and the Pats have the best offense in football.

 
The Pats still have the best defensive line in football, and two more inside linebackers give them one of the best and deepest front seven's in the game. A Pro Bowl CB, an above average #2 CB and a few young up and comers, along with safety stars Rodney Harrison and Eugene Wilson along with first round pick Brandon Meriweather and the Pats might have the best team in football. Super Bowl and a 14-2 record should be well within reach. I love Bill Belicheck and the Pat's front office  

At times I just don’t understand sports, especially owners. Common sense would say that if you paid nine figures for a sports team that you would be hell bent for success at any cost. Some owners tend to be more hands off, while others tend to get in the way to the point where coaches and executives leave because of owners meddling in situations that are over their head. Some owners hire the biggest name on the market, expect success with an outdated formula that worked a decade ago, and then get a face lift when everything falls apart. To elaborate on a famous quote by the now (once again) retired Bill Parcells, “The General Manager shops for the groceries, and the coach cooks…but the owner owns the grocery store.” Phrase copyrighted with patent pending 91452-65987-652147.

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones finally decided on a head coach after interviewing every coach, coordinator, and assistant that has a pulse, and even that was optional. Jones waited until after the Super Bowl to name a replacement for Bill Parcells, just so he could interview two of the top names in football, Bears D coordinator Ron Rivera and Colts assistant head coach Jim Caldwell. So who will be the new scapegoat in Dallas? Wade Phillips. That can’t be right, let me check something. Damn, it’s true, Wade Phillips is the new Cowboys coach. That popping sound you hear is the heads of the volunteers at the suicide crisis hotline in the Dallas area after their call volume spiked higher than Nate Newton after smoking fifty pounds of weed.

I have no personal connection with the Cowboys, however I feel for all of their fans. New England fans know a thing or two about hiring awful coaches; just look at the time between Raymond Berry roamed the sideline until Bill Parcells arrived…well until Bill Bellichek arrived. All you need to know was that Patriots fans were pushing for Art Shell at one time. Is Phillips really that bad? He was fired twice as a head coach and has never won a postseason game. On the plus side he is a good defensive coordinator, and his father was a great coach, and he hasn’t lost a game as a head coach in a few years (he wasn’t a head coach over the last few years, but it is something). Sorry Dallas fans, it is grasping at straws time. This might be the worst coaching decision since the Raiders found a coordinator at a bed and breakfast.

The Cowboys have a good team, they just made it to the playoffs this year. There is work to be done and a major overhaul may be done on offense. Drew Bledsoe, Julius Jones, and Flozell Adams all might be shipped out of big D. And there is that TO guys that couldn’t catch a ball covered in superglue and flypaper. A team trying to break in a new left tackle, promote a part time running back to a full time starter, find a new backup quarterback, and a new holder/kicker has a lot to accomplish. At least they Cowboys have a top coach to help this team…or at least they may have a good coach after the search for Phillips replacement begins in 2009.

IS THIS THE MAN YOU WANT COACHING YOUR TEAM?

 

 

As much as this pains me to say, the Colts deserve ti win the Suoer Bowl. My heart was hoping for the Saints versus the Patriots, but it was not to be. The Saints defense was too weak, and the Patriots were too thin from injuries. The Bears were able to pull their defense together and stop the Saints offense, the best turn based team since the Rams at the begining of the decade. Cold weather and a sloppy field killed any chance the Saints had. As far as the Patriots, well you can only win so many games with practice squad players. When your defense consists of two backup linebackers and two backup safties, then you are in for a long day. The Colts are just too good not to exploit a depleated defense. Best of luck to the Colts and Bears, you deserve to play for the grand prize.

It just wouldn't be the NFL Playoffs without a game between the Colts and Patriots. Nothing against the NFC, but the winner of this game will be the Super Bowl XLI Champion. Both of these teams are very different from earlier in the year when the Colts beat up on the Pats. So who will win? Let's break it down, all scientific like...

QB - Brandy vs Manning - Manning has been inconsistent in the playoffs and can't beat the Pats in the playoffs - Advantage Pats

 
RB - Dillon/Maroney/Faulk vs Addai/Rhodes - Addai is the best of the bunch but the Pats are more versatile. The Colts can be beaten by a strong running game (despite  two good playoff games) - Push if the Colts D shows up again

 
WR -Gaffney/Caldwell vs The best  WR duo in football - Colts

 
OL - The Colts are better but the Pats are good as well, shutting down the opponents pass rush. - Colts by an eyelash 

 
Defense - The Pats D is better but is weaker against the pass. The Colts D can't stop the run but the return of Bob Sanders has been huge. The healthy of Rodney Harrison and Vince Wilfork will be key -Pats, the Colts D just can't stop everyone and Brady can pick them apart.

 
Special Teams - Automatic Adam won the Pats numerous playoff games. Stephen Gostkowski just made his fist game winning kick to help the Pats advance to this game. He has a better leg on kickoffs and field position will be crucial in this game. Expect a repeat of the San Diego game, with Stephen Gostkowski hitting a late FG to put the Pats into the Super Bowl