Now that the NFL has officially kicked off its season, it is time to make my foolproof predictions on what to expect this year. Every person has their own opinions on who will be MVP, will win the Super Bowl, who will be the breakout rookie or the biggest bust. While I will briefly touch on a few of those subjects (Super Bowl rematch, just not a rematch of last years’ game) I will cover things you might not have considered. If by some stretch of the imagination one or two of these predictions don’t come true (even I am not perfect) you will have forgotten what I said by that time.

• Brady Quinn will be the starter in Cleveland by Week 6
• While Peyton Manning struggles to have his blindside protected, Dallas Clark will catch 70 balls and break 1000 yards receiving
• The Lions will not finish 10-6 as Jon Kitna predicted, however they will not have a losing season (8-8) for the first time since Barry Sanders was in diapers
• Jerry Porter would have worn Tim Brown’s #81 with pride, and put up numbers that Brown would be envious of, 80 catches and 1400 yards
• Teams playing the Falcons will stack the line and force Joey Harrington to beat them. Harrington will do just enough to remain a starter until the Falcons’ 2008 first round pick Brian Brohm is ready to start
• Ahman Green and Ron Dayne will be solid but Matt Schaub will find out that he would have been better off had he stayed in Atlanta
• Jamarcus Russell holdout and time on the bench will last until Daunte Culpepper wants out of Oakland
• Randy Moss will lead the Patriots wide receivers in touchdowns, Donte Stallworth will lead the team in yards per catch, but Wes Welker will lead the team in receptions and yards
• Ben Roethlisberger will be a top five AFC quarterback this year, and Santonio Holmes will be the wide receiver you wish you drafted in your fantasy league
• The Rams will have the best offense in the NFC. As far as their defense…well they will still have a great offense
• Automatic Adam Vinatieri will struggle to make any kick outdoors that is longer than 40 yards. He will no longer be automatic
• Clinton Portis will not be happy when Ladell Betts starts to take his carries, and Portis will demand to leave Washington
• The Super Bowl will be a rematch (with the same outcome) of Super Bowl 36. New England Patriots defeating the St Louis Rams
• The Broncos will have the best pass defense in football (thanks to Champ Bailey, Dre Bly, and Dominique Foxworth) but they will have a tough time stopping a practice squad running game
• Marshawn #### will lead rookies in first half rushing yards, while Adrian Peterson will lead rookies in second half rushing yards. Both will rush for over 1000 yards but neither player will be enough to help his team reach the playoffs
• The defensive rookie of the year will be Buffalo Bills linebacker Paul Posluszny
• This will be the year that Rex Grossman finally steps up his game and shows us that he is really better than Danny Wuerfful, not the Florida Gators version, but the NFL version. By 2010 Grossman may be able to actually deserve to be a starter…in the CFL
• Jamal Lewis will gain more yards than Willis McGahee, but the Ravens will still sneak into the playoffs while Lewis will be home watching
• No New England Patriot defensive player will record 10 sacks, 6 interceptions, or top 120 tackles, but the Pat’s will still have the best defense in football
• Brett Favre will still think about a comeback after another season of streaky play
• Cedric Benson will be steady as the Bears running back, however he would be more effective if Garrett Wolfe saw time in the backfield with him. Picture the thunder and lightning combo of Warrick Dunn and Mike Alstott of the late 90’s
• Edgerrin James will use a vastly improved offensive line to look like the Edge that the Cardinals thought they had signed before last year
• The Madden cover curse will strike again, however Vince Young will remain healthy. Young’s curse will be that he has no wide receivers to throw to and no running backs to run the ball. Young will lead the Titans in rushing, mostly due to running for his life on passing plays
• Jacksonville will need to count on Tim Couch to win at least one game, and the former #1 overall pick will deliver
• The Bears were smart to convert Devin Hester to offense. They will use him all over the field (including in the backfield) to confuse opposing defenses. Hester will have more value as a decoy on offense than as a receiver, but anything that takes pressure off of Rex Grossman is a positive thing
• Carson Palmer will put up the best passing yards for any quarterback in the NFL. Peyton who?
• Byron Leftwich will end up in the NFC by Week 3 and will start at least five games. Leftwich can stand pat until the first major injury of a starting quarterback, however the Vikings should be willing to give him his own boat to join the team. Nothing against Tarvaris Jackson but he is Quincy Carter all over again. He was picked two rounds too soon, was rushed into a starting job he wasn’t ready or qualified for, and will have his career crushed. Expect to see him out of the league before Michael Vick begins playing in the NFL again.

There are too many things to write about in sports at the moment, and it is too hot and humid to cover them all. So, without any further adieu, another version of Quick Hits.

The future of American soccer is going to Portugal to be a reserve. That suits me just fine, as Freddy Adu needs to play against bigger, stronger competition. He showed his skills while playing in International tournaments, but he was never a good fit for the MLS. Adu playing overseas for a few years will only help him to become a star on the next World Cup Team.

Very few people in Minnesota were happy to see Kevin Garnett leave, and I can understand that. However, the Wolves were never going to get by the second round unless Garnett was traded. Now you have an amazing team that will only get better. On top of receiving two future first round picks, you now have one of the best young low post players in the game, almost $12 million in cap room for next year, and the deepest 2-4 positions in the league. Add in a center or point guard as a free agent or in the draft and the Wolves could be in the Finals in a few years.

No bad mouthing of Michael Vick or what he did, I’ll leave that to the courts. Was does amaze me is that Joey Harrington is now in a position to lead a solid offense that could actually result in a playoff birth. Harrington showed that he has skill in Miami last year and now has a good line, solid backs, an All-Pro tight end, and veteran receivers. Harrington may actually post a winning record for the first time since college.

The NFL did the right thing by suspending Pacman Jones, but the Titans haven’t handled the situation very well. If Jones wants to wrestle for TNA than let him, it is the safest thing for him. He will be surrounded by people who are big enough to take out his bodyguards, he can’t bring guns into Universal Studios, he will stay in shape, and there is a good chance a few steel chair shots to the head may knock some common sense into him. The man just wants to earn a living.

Tony Stewart has now won three of the last four NASCAR races and Dale Earnhardt Jr. is struggling. What does this mean for the average person? More Stewart commercials, less Dale Jr. (I couldn’t care less as long as I don’t have to watch NASCAR. If they only could keep Peyton Manning off of my television I would be happy.)

756*

Let me just get a few things out in the open to clear any misconceptions. Bonds used steroids, there are literally books of evidence (and phone books worth of witnesses) supporting this, he just is smart enough not to fail a drug test. His former mistress is going to be in Playboy but it isn’t because she looks attractive, in fact I think Bonds may have injected her with testosterone. Alex Rodriguez will break whatever the record is that Bonds retires with. Arod will top 800 home runs; Bonds will be lucky to see 775. Hank Aaron’s tribute video was classy, and also a funny #### slap to Bonds. If I caught the record breaking ball I would have done one of two things: Hand it to Bonds in exchange for his immediate retirement and seclusion, or given it to the Hall of Fame if they banned Bonds for life a la Pete Rose.

Even though the trade deadline passed without any big moves from the Bronx Bombers, they still have until August 31st for any waiver wire deals. They will make at least two deals to help the team, and they will win the wildcard, no matter how much people wish they would just miss the playoffs.

The Braves made a big splash getting a premier power hitter, three lefties for their bullpen, and a solid closer in Octavio Dotel. The bad news is that Dotel hit the DL before he could get his uniform sweaty.

Welcome Tom Glavine into the 300 win club, just the 5th lefty to reach that milestone. It is amazing to think that Glavine almost decided to play hockey instead of baseball. This couldn’t have happened to a more professional player.

Vince Young has the honor of gracing the cover of Madden 08. Maybe the reason Pacman Jones was suspended was so that he couldn’t accidentally shoot Young. Based on previous cover jinxes, Young will play 12 games this year and the Titans will miss the playoffs.

Doesn’t that name take you back? A 21-year-old top-pitching prospect is now back in the Majors as a power-hitting outfielder. Ankiel hit three home runs in his first week since coming back to the Cardinals, and could combine to hit 50 home runs between Triple-A and Saint Louis this year.

Tiger won his 13th Major and 4th PGA Championship Sunday. The big news is that he only won one Major this year. How is he supposed to support his new family if he can’t win the big ones anymore?

Twelve topics while sick on a Sunday afternoon. Not bad, plus it keeps people reading until I have something meaningful to say, or at least until I have the time to say it.