A seven and a half year relationship is now over, as the Boston Red Sox finally gave into the insanity that is Manny Ramirez and sent him packing. This is a bittersweet day for Red Sox fans, a day that brings a tear to your eye while you are looking for someone to high five. Having Manny Ramirez in Boston was like having a psychotic nympho girlfriend. You are ecstatic when you’re riding high, but you want to pull your hair out when you have another bout of utter lunacy. Manny could hit a baseball like few players ever to enter Fenway Park, but he could send you to a padded room when he started his usual antics. The Sox might not be a better team after the Manny Ramirez trade, but they will never have to worry about another episode of Manny being a whiny pain in the butt. 

Over the last seven plus years Manny Ramirez asked to be traded out of Boston 147 separate times, not including 25 times that he was “misquoted”. His antics finally became too much, and even his own teammates were encouraging management to trade Ramirez. Manny’s complaining has done so much to hurt his value that the Red Sox had to cover the remaining seven million dollars left on his contract, as well as trade two major league players, just to get back a player with less skill. When people look back at this trade in a few years it may very well look like a disaster. Jason Bay is an All-Star left fielder, but his isn’t in the same class as Manny Ramirez. Craig Hansen is a talented reliever who just needs to figure out how to throw strikes to be a dominant reliever. The key to the trade may be Brandon Moss. Moss is a talented young outfielder that was without a place to play in Boston, much like David Murphy was last year. Murphy was sent to Texas for Eric Gagne, and is now making a run at the American League Rookie of the Year. Moss has the talent to be a .300 AVG/20 Home Run/80 RBI player, and in Pittsburgh he will have a chance to play and develop his skills.

If Ramirez had been more of a professional and less of a nutcase he would have been easier to trade, but was his craziness the real reason that he got the trade he wanted?

A superstar athlete reporting to training camp or spring training after the due date is hardly news. These days if an athlete reported early (unless he was in a contract year) that would be the stuff of headlines. Superstars have become so jaded that they think the rules or the law don’t apply to them. If an athlete is being given top dollar than they should set an example and behave, not exploit what they have given. Maybe years of pressure and work make someone think they can set their own rules, but that doesn’t fly in the real world.

Now that the after school special part of the column is over, it is time to talk about the prime offender of the slacker athlete, Manny Ramirez. Being a Red Sox fan has made me slightly bias towards Manny. He is great on the field, a pain in the posterior off the field. This year is the perfect example. Julian Tavarez alerted the Boston media that Manny wouldn’t be reporting to spring training on time, a fact that shouldn’t shock any Red Sox fan. The reason for Manny’s tardiness is a bit surprising; he is caring for his mother who is recovering from having a cancerous tumor removed from her ribs. I wish her well, and I am not questioning that Manny is concerned about his mother. However, if Manny was my child I would rather he spring for a nurse than take care of me himself. I would be afraid that Manny would be playing in his sandbox and forget to pick me up from surgery, or that he would mix up my pills.

Do I believe Manny will be late for spring training because of his mother? No. Do I think the Red Sox would care if he just called up and said he wasn’t coming until March 1st? No. So what is the real reason Manny is running late for spring training? I have narrowed the possibilities down to the top, uh, dozen or so, or however long this list is.

·        Manny thought that Punxsutawney Phil seeing his shadow meant another six weeks of the off season

·        Manny needed more time to figure out what color and style hair he would show up in Florida with

·        If Bernie Williams doesn’t have to show up for spring training than neither does Manny. (Who cares about a contract)

·        The Caribbean World Series just ended which means the off season must just be starting right? Right?

·        Manny is recovering after trying to break up a fight between Julian Tavarez and a group of little leaguers after a 10 year old was crowding the plate and Tavarez took exception and challenged the team to a fight.

·        Ramirez is still thinking up ideas for his own reality show, “Manny being Manny”

·        Someone has to plan Tom Brady’s baby shower, and Manny volunteered

·        Manny spent all winter building his replica Green Monster playhouse and now he doesn’t want to come out.

·        Now that David Wells and El Guapo are now longer on the roster Manny is trying to lose weight so he won’t be the fattest player on the team

·        The later you report to spring training the fewer rookie scrubs’ names you have to remember…not that Manny would take the time to remember their names anyway

·        Manny celebrates the Chinese New Year which means that the games don’t really count until the end of May or early June

·        Ramirez is still tired from taking last September off

·        Manny was secretly caring for Fidel Castro. Why? If Manny could get in Castro’s good graces than maybe Manny would be able to work out a trade to a Cuban team. Gotta keep your options open.