Now that the NFL has officially kicked off its season, it is time to make my foolproof predictions on what to expect this year. Every person has their own opinions on who will be MVP, will win the Super Bowl, who will be the breakout rookie or the biggest bust. While I will briefly touch on a few of those subjects (Super Bowl rematch, just not a rematch of last years’ game) I will cover things you might not have considered. If by some stretch of the imagination one or two of these predictions don’t come true (even I am not perfect) you will have forgotten what I said by that time.

• Brady Quinn will be the starter in Cleveland by Week 6
• While Peyton Manning struggles to have his blindside protected, Dallas Clark will catch 70 balls and break 1000 yards receiving
• The Lions will not finish 10-6 as Jon Kitna predicted, however they will not have a losing season (8-8) for the first time since Barry Sanders was in diapers
• Jerry Porter would have worn Tim Brown’s #81 with pride, and put up numbers that Brown would be envious of, 80 catches and 1400 yards
• Teams playing the Falcons will stack the line and force Joey Harrington to beat them. Harrington will do just enough to remain a starter until the Falcons’ 2008 first round pick Brian Brohm is ready to start
• Ahman Green and Ron Dayne will be solid but Matt Schaub will find out that he would have been better off had he stayed in Atlanta
• Jamarcus Russell holdout and time on the bench will last until Daunte Culpepper wants out of Oakland
• Randy Moss will lead the Patriots wide receivers in touchdowns, Donte Stallworth will lead the team in yards per catch, but Wes Welker will lead the team in receptions and yards
• Ben Roethlisberger will be a top five AFC quarterback this year, and Santonio Holmes will be the wide receiver you wish you drafted in your fantasy league
• The Rams will have the best offense in the NFC. As far as their defense…well they will still have a great offense
• Automatic Adam Vinatieri will struggle to make any kick outdoors that is longer than 40 yards. He will no longer be automatic
• Clinton Portis will not be happy when Ladell Betts starts to take his carries, and Portis will demand to leave Washington
• The Super Bowl will be a rematch (with the same outcome) of Super Bowl 36. New England Patriots defeating the St Louis Rams
• The Broncos will have the best pass defense in football (thanks to Champ Bailey, Dre Bly, and Dominique Foxworth) but they will have a tough time stopping a practice squad running game
• Marshawn #### will lead rookies in first half rushing yards, while Adrian Peterson will lead rookies in second half rushing yards. Both will rush for over 1000 yards but neither player will be enough to help his team reach the playoffs
• The defensive rookie of the year will be Buffalo Bills linebacker Paul Posluszny
• This will be the year that Rex Grossman finally steps up his game and shows us that he is really better than Danny Wuerfful, not the Florida Gators version, but the NFL version. By 2010 Grossman may be able to actually deserve to be a starter…in the CFL
• Jamal Lewis will gain more yards than Willis McGahee, but the Ravens will still sneak into the playoffs while Lewis will be home watching
• No New England Patriot defensive player will record 10 sacks, 6 interceptions, or top 120 tackles, but the Pat’s will still have the best defense in football
• Brett Favre will still think about a comeback after another season of streaky play
• Cedric Benson will be steady as the Bears running back, however he would be more effective if Garrett Wolfe saw time in the backfield with him. Picture the thunder and lightning combo of Warrick Dunn and Mike Alstott of the late 90’s
• Edgerrin James will use a vastly improved offensive line to look like the Edge that the Cardinals thought they had signed before last year
• The Madden cover curse will strike again, however Vince Young will remain healthy. Young’s curse will be that he has no wide receivers to throw to and no running backs to run the ball. Young will lead the Titans in rushing, mostly due to running for his life on passing plays
• Jacksonville will need to count on Tim Couch to win at least one game, and the former #1 overall pick will deliver
• The Bears were smart to convert Devin Hester to offense. They will use him all over the field (including in the backfield) to confuse opposing defenses. Hester will have more value as a decoy on offense than as a receiver, but anything that takes pressure off of Rex Grossman is a positive thing
• Carson Palmer will put up the best passing yards for any quarterback in the NFL. Peyton who?
• Byron Leftwich will end up in the NFC by Week 3 and will start at least five games. Leftwich can stand pat until the first major injury of a starting quarterback, however the Vikings should be willing to give him his own boat to join the team. Nothing against Tarvaris Jackson but he is Quincy Carter all over again. He was picked two rounds too soon, was rushed into a starting job he wasn’t ready or qualified for, and will have his career crushed. Expect to see him out of the league before Michael Vick begins playing in the NFL again.