To paraphrase Jon Stewart’s intro for Daily Show correspondent Lewis Black, “Sometimes a news story falls through the cracks, here to catch them is Chris Vining, with his column, Delusions of Randomness.” So I will touch upon stories that didn’t get big headlines, but are still important.

The Red Sox finally decided to give Terry Francona (the most successful Sox manager in decades) a three-year contract extension. Francona is now signed through 2011, and as long as nothing drastic changes (Manny Ramirez goes insane and tries to mentor upcoming prospects)he has a great chance to lead the Red Sox to another World Series Championship in the next four years. Francona is a class act and does a great job of handling the Boston media.

Kudos to the Red Sox for signing Bartolo Colon to a minor league contract this week. Curt Schilling will be lucky if he can pitch with any effectiveness again, and Colon is a low risk (and cost) investment to make sure the Sox have depth in the rotation. Colon is not the Cy Young pitcher he was, and despite being an injury risk, he provides Clay Buchholz a chance to be brought along slowly. If the Sox can get anything above twenty starts they would be in a great position, as Colon can still pitch when he is on his game. For those people complaining about the rich getting richer, Colon was still unsigned when Spring Training opened, and was signed for chump change. He was more than fair game.

The Tampa Bay Rays dropped the “Devil” from their name but they might sign the Devil to their roster. Barry Bonds has arisen as a target for Tampa, which might not be as bad of an idea as it sounds. The Rays are young and talented, and Bonds would take a rapidly improving offense to dangerous levels. Bonds would also provide insurance for Cliff Floyd and Roco Baldelli. If Evan Longoria can be effective in the Majors this year, than the Rays have one of the top 10 offenses in baseball, and that is without Bonds. Adding the *All-Time Home Run King* would make the Rays a Wild Card threat, but the health of Scott Kazmir and Troy Percival will be key factors toward the Rays’ quest to get out of the AL East cellar.

Koby Clemens has been caught in a very tough spot for the Astros. While he is in Major League Spring Training he is subject to the substance advise of Miguel Tejada. If/when Koby is sent to Minor League Camp he will have his father to talk with. The younger Clemens should say he has visa problems and skip camp, or show up for another teams’ Spring Training.

Not only is Jonathan Papelbon the best young closer in baseball he showed that he could bust a move during the playoffs, and people took notice. Paps was offered a spot as a contestant on Dancing With the Stars, however he turned it down when he realized he had to dance to music that wasn’t played by the Dropkick Murphys.

Zach Thomas and Jason Taylor are family, and were teammates on the Dolphins up until Bill Parcells rolled into town. Taylor is now working on his footwork as a member of the Dancing With the Stars cast. Thomas was pushed into the unemployment line until Jerry Jones offered Thomas a chance to play in his home state of Texas. Thomas will make the Cowboys better on defense, even if his skills are diminishing. His knowledge and leadership will be key to the Cowboys defense, and his locker room presence cannot be underestimated. He also hates vacationing during bye weeks.

The Atlanta Falcons won the coin flip to give them the third pick in the upcoming NFL Draft. The downside is that the Falcons have so many holes that they could have used a lower pick. The benefit is that more players would be off the board so they would have an easier time picking which player will be blamed for a string of losing seasons.

Peter King of Sports Illustrated predicted that the Giants would win the Super Bowl against the Patriots if they could apply consistent pressure on Brady. He also suggested the Giants might win if they could outscore the Patriots. I am a Peter King fan but my three year old knew the game was in trouble when the Pat’s line had trouble blocking the rush.

Rex Grossman was resigned to a one year, three million-dollar contract by the Chicago Bears. No seriously, the Bears resigned him and Kyle Orton in the same week. That is a punch line, but I can’t even come up with a joke.

Former players Keith Van Horn and Aaron McKie were included in trades despite not being active players. In an attempt to bolster their roster the Celtics had a trade in place to send Bob Cousy to Memphis for Mike Conley. Memphis was looking to add veteran leadership and cut payroll (Cousy was making 5 figures in his last contract) and the deal was perfect for both sides. The trade fell through at the last minute when Memphis was unable to find a pair of shorts short enough for Cousy to wear. 

Yao Ming suffered a stress fracture in his foot and now will be out for the season. While this is a shot to the Rockets playoff chances, the worse news is that Yao’s backup is Dikembe Mutombo, who has scored a whopping seven points this season. The Rockets do not have any players 6’10’’ or taller besides Steve Novak, who weighs in at a massive 220 pounds and has played less than fifty career games.

Sam Cassell has asked to be bought out of his contract with the Los Angeles Clippers so he can sign with (most likely) Boston or Denver. What makes Sam I Am even more attractive is that he has already missed 15 games due to injuries this year. When questioned about his health Cassell had this to say, “The Celtics are getting damaged goods if I do go over there," Cassell said. "But I'll be all right." Nothing says sign me like that quote.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. has a new team but the same winning ways. Junior hasn’t been allowed in the winner’s circle in over five-dozen races. Maybe he should spend less time doing commercials and spend more time on figuring out why his engines keep blowing up. Just a thought, I’m no car expert.

The trade deadline just passed and players were moving all over North America (except to Mexico, there is no ice there). The Penguins acquired Marian Hossa, the top forward available, and the player that can put the Penguins in position for a Stanley Cup run. Wait, Penguins adding payroll? Weren’t they going to be sold and moved to Canada earlier this year?

In what has become an all too familiar scenario, the Boston Bruins promised to be active at the trade deadline but failed to bring in anyone at all, even a fourth line bench warmer. The Bruins are clinging to a playoff spot but are falling fast. Why are season ticket sales down again?

Now that the NFL has officially kicked off its season, it is time to make my foolproof predictions on what to expect this year. Every person has their own opinions on who will be MVP, will win the Super Bowl, who will be the breakout rookie or the biggest bust. While I will briefly touch on a few of those subjects (Super Bowl rematch, just not a rematch of last years’ game) I will cover things you might not have considered. If by some stretch of the imagination one or two of these predictions don’t come true (even I am not perfect) you will have forgotten what I said by that time.

• Brady Quinn will be the starter in Cleveland by Week 6
• While Peyton Manning struggles to have his blindside protected, Dallas Clark will catch 70 balls and break 1000 yards receiving
• The Lions will not finish 10-6 as Jon Kitna predicted, however they will not have a losing season (8-8) for the first time since Barry Sanders was in diapers
• Jerry Porter would have worn Tim Brown’s #81 with pride, and put up numbers that Brown would be envious of, 80 catches and 1400 yards
• Teams playing the Falcons will stack the line and force Joey Harrington to beat them. Harrington will do just enough to remain a starter until the Falcons’ 2008 first round pick Brian Brohm is ready to start
• Ahman Green and Ron Dayne will be solid but Matt Schaub will find out that he would have been better off had he stayed in Atlanta
• Jamarcus Russell holdout and time on the bench will last until Daunte Culpepper wants out of Oakland
• Randy Moss will lead the Patriots wide receivers in touchdowns, Donte Stallworth will lead the team in yards per catch, but Wes Welker will lead the team in receptions and yards
• Ben Roethlisberger will be a top five AFC quarterback this year, and Santonio Holmes will be the wide receiver you wish you drafted in your fantasy league
• The Rams will have the best offense in the NFC. As far as their defense…well they will still have a great offense
• Automatic Adam Vinatieri will struggle to make any kick outdoors that is longer than 40 yards. He will no longer be automatic
• Clinton Portis will not be happy when Ladell Betts starts to take his carries, and Portis will demand to leave Washington
• The Super Bowl will be a rematch (with the same outcome) of Super Bowl 36. New England Patriots defeating the St Louis Rams
• The Broncos will have the best pass defense in football (thanks to Champ Bailey, Dre Bly, and Dominique Foxworth) but they will have a tough time stopping a practice squad running game
• Marshawn #### will lead rookies in first half rushing yards, while Adrian Peterson will lead rookies in second half rushing yards. Both will rush for over 1000 yards but neither player will be enough to help his team reach the playoffs
• The defensive rookie of the year will be Buffalo Bills linebacker Paul Posluszny
• This will be the year that Rex Grossman finally steps up his game and shows us that he is really better than Danny Wuerfful, not the Florida Gators version, but the NFL version. By 2010 Grossman may be able to actually deserve to be a starter…in the CFL
• Jamal Lewis will gain more yards than Willis McGahee, but the Ravens will still sneak into the playoffs while Lewis will be home watching
• No New England Patriot defensive player will record 10 sacks, 6 interceptions, or top 120 tackles, but the Pat’s will still have the best defense in football
• Brett Favre will still think about a comeback after another season of streaky play
• Cedric Benson will be steady as the Bears running back, however he would be more effective if Garrett Wolfe saw time in the backfield with him. Picture the thunder and lightning combo of Warrick Dunn and Mike Alstott of the late 90’s
• Edgerrin James will use a vastly improved offensive line to look like the Edge that the Cardinals thought they had signed before last year
• The Madden cover curse will strike again, however Vince Young will remain healthy. Young’s curse will be that he has no wide receivers to throw to and no running backs to run the ball. Young will lead the Titans in rushing, mostly due to running for his life on passing plays
• Jacksonville will need to count on Tim Couch to win at least one game, and the former #1 overall pick will deliver
• The Bears were smart to convert Devin Hester to offense. They will use him all over the field (including in the backfield) to confuse opposing defenses. Hester will have more value as a decoy on offense than as a receiver, but anything that takes pressure off of Rex Grossman is a positive thing
• Carson Palmer will put up the best passing yards for any quarterback in the NFL. Peyton who?
• Byron Leftwich will end up in the NFC by Week 3 and will start at least five games. Leftwich can stand pat until the first major injury of a starting quarterback, however the Vikings should be willing to give him his own boat to join the team. Nothing against Tarvaris Jackson but he is Quincy Carter all over again. He was picked two rounds too soon, was rushed into a starting job he wasn’t ready or qualified for, and will have his career crushed. Expect to see him out of the league before Michael Vick begins playing in the NFL again.