I haven't watched the games, so here's what I know...

The Yankees are hitting a buck-something. A-Rod hasn't hit the ball out of the infield. Poisonous, rabid, half-saber tooth tiger, half-pterodactyl flying beasts descended upon some city that the Yankees were in and attacked Yankee players, Yankee Fans, Yankee Trainers, Yankee Ball boys, and they symbol on LeBron James' hat. And not just a few - we're talking BILLIONS and BILLIONS. As the body count piles up, one can only wonder what the umpires were thinking, letting that game in that city the Yankees were playing in, continue. Generally, the thought process when post-poning a game is, "The Rain has made the field too muddy, a player might injury an ankle or knee running the bases." or "The lighting bolts we see in the distance might strike the field and cause significant injury." or "The ensuing white out has made it impossible for the batter to see the baseball, leaving him unable to avoid getting hit in the face should a pitch be high and tight."

In fact, earlier this year in some mid-west city (for those of you cartographers, that's a city west of New York), Paul Byrd walked 3 batters (matching a 10 game total) in one inning due to a snow-storm. However, the game was called with 1 strike remaining before it was a legal game, due to the batter complaining that he couldn't see the white sphere amidst the falling snow." The umpire decided that there was a higher than usual chance of INJURY and thus called the game with 1 strike remaining, much to Byrd's unhappiness.

So what in the name of Lou Gherig, were those umpires thinking the other night? I wonder when the YouTube clips of the flying beasts swooping down upon Yankee stud Joba Chamberlain like Nazgul drawn to the One Ring of Power will pop up.

Well, I guess I'm just beating a dead horse, talking about the fire-vomitting Flying Beasts - since every other baseball fan with a computer has brought them up. Moving on...

I've heard rumors in the past that MVP 3rd baseman Alex Rodriguez is an April to September player. What is going ON underneath that Yankee CAP? It's obvious he couldn't hit the ball off a Tee right now. Why does Yankee coach Joe Torre even play him? Doesn't he notice A-Rod going 0-for in New York Yankee batting practice?? UGH! This is especially detrimental to A-Rod's legacy since New York Yankee captain Derek Jeter is batting .750 with 4 rbis, 24 year old Yankee 2-bagger Robinson Cano is batting .850, and New York Yankee slugger Jason Giambi is batting .1000. Hopefully, A-Rod can get the bugs (err, I mean Flying Beasts) out of his swing before the Yankees lose the series to that other team they are playing.

As far as the pitching, I know that Wang is a sinker-baller who couldn't get his sinker-ball to sink. It's unfortunate that he walked home all those runs against the team the Yankees are playing. Usually, he has great control, so we should all expect him to be dominant if he's called upon to pitch on short rest right? Andy Petite pitched brilliantly in game 2. Because he is so dominant, he allowed that team the Yankees are playing to get on base in just about every inning, before reality set in and he just decided to get outs. That team the yankees are playing were 2 for some very large number with RISP, an unprecedented batting average for Yankee pitchers to allow. We should all fully expect that team the New York Yankees are playing to bat 0 or 1 for 50 the rest of the series, especially since New York Yankees ageless wonder and Hall of Famer Roger "The Rocket" Clemens takes the mound tonight.

Let's talk about hitting. I'm not exactly sure if the team that the Yankees are playing have mustered any hits this series(unlikely, given the quality of pitching the Yankees have displayed), but I know that New York Yankee outfielder Melky Cabrera hit a 700 foot game-winning grand slam recently. I don't know exactly when it was, or who the Yankees were playing, or who threw the pitch, but I did catch the highlight of Cabrera giving resounding high-fives to both base coaches and then screaming like the Spear-wielding, Spell-casting, Demonic Flying Beasts in the New York Yankee dugout after crossing home plate. Great Job MELKY! You must have won the series for your team! We can all expect Melky to come up big in this series. As for that team that the Yankees are playing, don't you have to win games to play in the playoffs? Pshh. They're just fodder anyway until the New York Yankees go toe-to-toe against the Division winning Boston Red Sox. Bring it on, RED SOX NATION!

GO YANKEES!!!