Just like last year -- and every year until they fire this knucklehead -- I have to decry the travesty of live broadcasting that is Tony Kornheiser.
I was against his hiring to broadcast the stalwart Monday Night Football games in the very first place. He's barely tolerable as the even-louder-loudmouth-jerk on Pardon The Interruption, but as a color man in the booth, the color he provides is of an unbearable hue; a shade so obtuse and filled with cliche and melodrama that I find myself thumping the "mute" button on the remote for about 1/3 of every game (yes, I purposely worded that description in my best over-the-top cornball Kornheiser patois -- grimace-worthy, ain't it?).
My specific complaint after tonight's Titans vs. Broncos matchup was his and the rest of the booth team's insistence on not only mentioning the fact that Vince Young's father just got out of jail, but then talking about it from the beginning of the 2nd quarter until there was 6:30 left to go in the freaking 1st half! I understand that Young "opened up" to them in the pre-game interview, telling them about the situation and the struggle he's having with the whole thing. But does that give three football announcers -- led by Kornheiser -- license to drag someone's personal tragedy down to the level of "ballgame chatter"?
Again, I understand them mentioning it -- if Vince Young didn't want it brought up, he wouldn't have told them. But to drone on and on about it for five and a half "football minutes" (that's about 15 minutes in real time), while unannounced and unanalyzed play after play after play goes by in the actual game, is just ridiculous.
Speaking of ridiculous, I think that the rules to my "Tim McCarver Drinking Game" also apply to Tony Kornheiser. The only way to bear his annoying yammering is to take a drink every time you find yourself saying, "For God's sake, shut up, Kornheiser!!", or "What the hell are you talking about, Tony Kornheiser??"
Which brings me to another side note: Did you guys hear him say, when the subject of Lendale White's excessive gut-weight came up, "The Titans fans are used to seeing running backs with a body like Eddie George, but Lendale White has looked more like Boy George." WHAT?? "What the hell are you talking about, Tony Kornheiser??" ('Gulp...') Not only is that a 20-year-old reference, it also makes no sense whatsoever!! I thought Boy George was always known for being an androgynous freak of genetics from the '80's, not for his Hooters-wings-and-Schlitz beer gut. Don't remember that as being part of Boy George's fashion repertoire.
That was just a small example of the train wreck of broadcasting that Kornheiser brings to the booth every week. Between inexplicable nonsense like that, and the shameful exploitation of a player's personal hardship and family tragedy in the service of "ballgame chatter", I'm finding Monday Night Football with Tony Kornheiser becoming more and more of a chore to endure each week.
I was more comfortable with Mike Patrick and Paul Maguire in the booth, Theismann, I can give or take but they lose nothing with Jaws in the booth. I agree with your sentiment. He is more entertaining on PTI.
Why is that ESPN is of the belief that alleged talent like Kornheiser, Limbaugh and Miller have something veritable to say that the earnest fans would be interested in listening to ? As knowlegeable as they may well be I've yet to see it materialize to anything of benefit on their programming. Analysis should be best left to those who something about the sport and have something insfightful to say. If I want to hear something comical I'l go to the likes of Jon Stewart, Dave Chappelle and others of that ilk. As for Korheiser and his insufferable rants I'd rather know that he's thrown into a tank filled with piranha's. His reaction would be no doubt be priceless.
nospin: I don't even think he's entertaining on PTI -- like I said, he's just barely tolerable there, and absolutely worthless on MNF. I also agree that MvGwire, Patrick, and Theismann (crazy as he was) were far more entertaining than the current MNF crew. I actually enjoyed those broadcasts for the most part.
I am on board with the anti-kornheiser movement..I understand that the network is trying to get that Cosell dynamic going (you know, abrasive, opinionated guy from NY)......But the fact is, he does bring this "personal targaedy" stuff to a whole new level, a la Babo Costas during any Olympics coverage...And God how I hate that ####...Just run the freaking race already!!!!!!
The worst episode for Kornheiser was the Cincy game where he giggled like a little school girl at every mention of "JOHNSON"......What an ####!!!!! They should have put Wilbon in the booth.
tophatal: Of those three, I'd prefer Dennis Miller! If you're going to try and get somebody "colorful", with no football pedigree, why not go to the completely absurd? At least he's actually funny and brilliant, even if he's too off-the-wall for MNF. My vote for MNF color man still goes to Jim Rome.
Kornheiser in a piranah tank: "AGGGHHHHHHH!!! AS THE SANDS OF TIME SLIP CEASELESSLY THROUGH THE HOURGLASS OF MY EXISTENCE, I REFLECT UPON THE - OW!! - TIME I HAVE SPENT ON THIS EARTH AND THE REGRETS I MAY -- YOUCH!! - HAVE, MY SUCCESSES AND FAILURES, AND LEAVE THIS FOR THOSE WHO MAY SUCCEED ME - HOLY ####!! - : NEVER -- OUCH!!-- EVER -- LEAN OVER A PIRANAH TANK WEARING -- ARRRGGGHHH!! - A TOUPEE MADE OF RAW DELI MEAT!!!"
Last edited by The_Yard on November 20th at 12:34 PM.
slapNtickle: I could deal with Wilbon much better than Kornheiser.
I think sports networks always point to the "Cosell factor" when they have unpopular broadcasters, thinking they can create that "love to hate him" relationship sports fans of the '70's & '80's had with Cosell. But what they don't get is that Cosell had been on for YEARS, and that relationship was developed and nurtured over decades. He was like everybody's crabby uncle, the one who drones on and on with asinine anecdotes at family functions. When you saw him coming for Thanksgiving dinner, you rolled your eyes -- but when he was gone, you missed the hell out of him.
You can't just force that kind of comfort level on an audience by having "controversial" figures in the booth who most people hate, and try to justify it by playing the "Cosell card". It's NOT the same thing.
Agreed Yard...Cosell was an original....It's the same thing as Hollywood continually doing sequels to great movies...and those movies subsequently failing.....And I actually liked Dennis Miller, when he did it......I despise Theisman....any word on if he is actually broadcasting anywhere now???
I don't know if he is or not, but I doubt it. I liked Dennis Miller too, but I think I'm in the minority there. But I was already a fan before he got the job.
And yes, retreads (I won't even pay them the compliment of calling them "remakes") of old movies can be OK, but not usually. The worst is making cheap, crappy movies from old cartoons.
Last edited by The_Yard on November 20th at 1:29 PM.
The Yard
It'd be funny to see Kornheiser being eaten alive by a takn full of piranha's. But then where'd Wilbon be without him ? As it's normally Wilbon who's the more insightful of the two with the Kornheiser normally offering up the more comical takes on their show. Be that as it may I much prefer the guys who'll definately give me something intelligent to chew on by way of their analysis. But it seems that ESPN likes to think that it offers the best talent available for the price in terms of the product that they're showing us.
The Yard
I've a post up titled So There Was A Game Played Afterall And Who Knew ? Let me know what you think as to the merits of the piece ? I'll look forward to reading your comments.
tophatal: Truthfully, I don't care much for PTI altogether -- too much hollering and blustering, and their comic takes aren't funny at all. That nonsense where they put on the "masks" and pretend to be sports figures, or when Kornheiser wears a funny hat... not funny. Just juvenile. And loud. Wilbon is more insightful, but that pseudo-contentious thing they have is just annoying.
The Yard
As long as you're able to look at the piece objectively and give me your honest opinions on the matter. That's all I'm looking for and nothing else. I'll respect your opinion no matter what it might be. Also check out the following piece I'd written under the rampantfanatic guise titled. Yes It Was A Tragedy But All 'bama Did Was Lose A Game ! On that piece let me know what you think as to its merits ? I'll look forward to reading your comments.
I enjoyed Kornheiser's radio show, and watch PTI now and again. I even like TK's half-time PTI thing ... But I agree they need to change the patter in the booth - - or go with a new team. They'll have about one quarter of good commentary, and then they'll get a wild hair ...
HOWEVER, if we're gonna give TK the boot, my HUGE first priority would be to give Al Michaels the heave-#### first. What a pretentious, pompous, yammering vacuosity. His patter is as natural and entertaining as a can of Spam. Holy christ, how does this guy get the primo jobs? (I suppose Brent Musburger can't be everywhere ...)
Roger, good stuff, this- and fantastic to see you back here! I remember your posts from before being well thought out and containing a good narrative voice. Kornheiser's sorts guy ID is a facade (in a recent blog, I referred to him as Dennis Miller with a combover). He makes broad, sweeping statements that anyone without a TV show would be laughed at for making. Case in point: "David Beckham is by FAR the best player in the MLS. BY FAR!" Like he's ever even seen an MLS game or can name a single other player... Seems as though he's trying to overcompensate for his lack of sports acumen with his gift for gab, though his eloquence is painfully sub-Cossell.
Dave in Indy: Wow, I have to totally disagree with you about Al Michaels! He's a pro, but he's been dragged down over the years by having to work with Madden. I think he's a great broadcaster, and not even in the same ballpark of horror where Musberger and Kornheiser reside. Not sure where that amount of vitriol for him comes from.
Anyway, ESPN can't fire Al Michaels, because he doesn't work for them. He works for NBC now.
TSI: Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for the kind words! I hate that Kornheiser and Dennis Miller have to be mentioned in the same breath -- Miller could run circles (and squares, and triangles, and octagons) around Kornheiser, both mentally and verbally. And you're right -- for the most part, the louder somebody talks, the less they have to say. Kornheiser is a prime example of that.
tophatal: I read your MLS blog but had to go before I could respond. And since it takes my computer a half-hour to load your blog page, I'll just respond here. So... Thanks for having a take on how Americans perceive soccer that goes beyond "Americans are too stupid and boorish to 'get' the 'beautiful game'". That's just not the case (at least not totally). We just have 5 other sports that are more ingrained in our culture than soccer, and here it is mostly just seen as a good game for kids to play. Maybe that's unfair, but it's a fact. The only way Americans will get truly interested, like you said, is if we have a national team that can dominate on an international level, which isn't going to happen any time in the next decade. It isn't a problem of marketing -- they just don't have a product that Americans want or need.
The Yard
The product is there as well as the fact that it now has more participants playing the game than the other four major sports combined. Hopfully the pics of the females at the end will get your juices flowin' ?
Tophatal: MLS is, by all accounts, an inferior product compared to the international league. It would take a truly superior product -- a dominant US international team, with many star-worthy MLS athletes -- for Americans to be interested to the point where marketing can truly make a difference. Right now, MLS is like the "Egg Wave" (that gadget that makes eggs in a microwave): it's sorta neat, but nobody really needs or wants it.
As far as soccer's "popularity": Sure, if you're talking on the world stage, soccer is the most popular game in the world, and it's participants outnumber the "big three" of American sports. But as far as Americans are concerned, it's about 10th on the list of sports we care about. Just below track & field, and just above bowling.
And no, Jenny McCarthy doesn't get me too fired up, sorry. Fake blondes with fake hooters do little for me. Although that paint pic wasn't too shabby...
Last edited by The_Yard on November 24th at 2:12 AM.
The Yard
It doesn't come as a great surprise that there's a dislike of the sport. But at the same time it is finding a true following amongst many. As for Jenny McCarthy , she's OK in small doses as a performer . But you've got to admit that body is a hell of lot better than you'd find on most women. Even if the t*ts are fake ?
My name is Roger Wallace, and I've been a blogger here for several years. It's been a while since I last posted, so my old blog and all its old posts are now gone, although I may re-post some old ones, and I definitely plan to come by here more often to post some thoughts and poke people with pointy sticks.
I'm a professional roots-country musician in Austin, TX; you can read more about me, as well as listen to some music and read my other blog called "The Soapbox", at www.rogerwall ace.com and www.myspace.c om/rogerwalla ce. I just released my fourth CD, called "It's About Time", in August 2007. I obviously like to hear myself type, I can't stand adults who can't write (or think) above a 5th-grade level, and I love cheeseburgers . A lot.
