The ref asks who in the hell just took that awful three point shot that completely missed the basket.

SportsComedian.com

The NBA Playoffs are beginning and we here at TSC are going to break down the matchups by their mascots, the thing that really matters.

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  Lakers(1) vs. Nuggets(8): The embodiment of the great lakes of Los Angeles, the Lakers have been a force in the NBA since moving out west from Minnesota. They face the Nuggets, who have not ever been a force even in their own city. Neither of these mascots make enough sense to be involved in a fight with each other, as I'm not even sure what a laker is. But nuggets are little rocks of gold, and I feel that rocks need to be punished for being bested by paper in the game of Rock-Paper-Scissors. I don't know why rock didn't complain when the three of them were sitting around decided on the rules for that game. But now rocks are known as ####, and the Nuggets are about to pay the price for this.
  
  Prediction: Lakers 4-0
  
  
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  Hornets(2) vs. Mavericks(7): The bees take on the dreaded horse/basketball hybrid that is the Mavericks. This series will be a bit closer, as the Mavs have some talented players, but the Hornets are very under-rated. They are a bug, yet they still wear oversized shoes and big mime gloves. They are out to embarass the Mavs, and there will be little they can do to stop them. Before they became a big blue horse basketball, the Mavericks mascot was a cowboy. We here at TSC have obtained medical records from back them stating an allergy to none other than bees. They swelled up like a baloon when stung by them several years ago and changed their mascot to hide this fact. Look for domination by New Orleans in this one.
  
  Prediction: Hornets 4-2
  
  
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  Spurs(3) vs. Suns(6): Those sharp things that go on the back of cowboy boots versus not one but multiple suns. This is a very tough matchup, as nothing has beat a sun in a fight son far to date. Many say Tim Duncan could defeat a sun, and NASA has looked into launching him towards the nearby solar system of Alpha Centauri, as their sun has always been a #### to us. But the Duncan-sun theory is yet unproven and I think he would merely burn up. I think Shaq and Phoenix scores an upset in this one.
  
  Prediction: Suns 4-3
  
  
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  Jazz(4) vs. Rockets(5): Just like the Lakers, if there is one thing Utah is known for it is its Jazz. But they face a tough opponent in the Rockets. I used to watch underground fight videos of jazz players against retired Mark IV Soviet Union rockets that took place in brazil. The site has now been closed by the government, but let me just say that I had never seen a jazz player win. Something about turning on your rocket boosters into the face of an 70 year old musician that just makes the contests short.
  
  Prediction: Rockets 4-3
  

If the opponent isn't dead on the court, your zone defense is a little too soft.