The Shaq and Kobe feud is apparently far from over if the actions from Monday night are to be believed. Shaq reportedly ripped into Kobe while serving as a guest conductor of the Phoenix Symphony Orchestra yesterday night, lambasting him with a freestyle of Dmitri Shostakovich's Symphony No. 4. O'Neal laid it into Kobe with a timpani and horn solo that clearly mocked Bryant's failures in the NBA Finals without Shaq. "It was real brutal," said Orchestra reviewer Danny Bugenske. "The way he quickened the strings section in the latter part of the second overture really told Kobe that without him in the low post, he is doomed to fall to perimeter teams like Boston. I haven't heard a symphonic freestyle beating like that since Mozart released Symphony No. 2 to chastise the English royalty for their 1 shilling bread tax. It was harsh."

Reporters spoke with O'Neal afterwards to ask why he wanted to rekindle the feud with Bryant. "Look, I'm from the streets," said Shaq. "On the streets when you're conducting a symphony you tell it like it is, you don't sugar-coat anything. I used to take part in some mean conducting battles in dark clubs, where we'd go back and forth, just conducting the #### out of an orchestra. That's how real this #### is. Kobe wasn't ready when I hit him with that Allegro Vivace in the third section? Well, that #### needs to know how I feel, and there is no better way to tell a person how you feel than with an Allegro Vivace from the horns. That's how I asked my wife to marry me, actually."

The orchestra director was angry at O'Neal's decision to take the music off the written page. "That's street conducting. We don't do that here," said regular director Max Kirkman. "That kind of stuff is dangerous, it gets people killed. My brother went down the dark and dangerous path that is street symphony, and it took his life. I don't like to see people like Shaq mixed up in that. We're all just lucky that no one got hurt here tonight. If I were Kobe, I'd stay away, he doesn't know what he can get caught up in here."

SportsComedian.com
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