The NHL created a new rule yesterday after the New York Rangers' Sean Avery used the unorthodox tactic of getting in the way of Martin Brodeur to distract and limit his vision. They have announced that effective immediately there will be no more ####s allowed in NHL games. This drastic rule change sent shockwaves throughout the league as it happened during the playoffs and changes many teams strategies and outlooks. Avery himself, who now has to find other work as an ####, was understandably upset, "There is so little work out there for a good #### these days. What am I supposed to do now? Go heckle at comedy clubs and pour condiments on benches at fast food restaurants? That's amateur stuff. I was a professional #### on ice, and the NHL has taken my livelihood away from me."

While Avery has announced he will challenge the rule change, he is only one piece of the New York Rangers to be removed. The biggest problems face the Dallas Stars, long known around the league to be a bunch of ####s. "This is ridiculous and discriminatory!" said Dallas GM Doug Armstrong. "We now have no one to play our game 4 against Anaheim! We were leading 2-1 for goodness sake! The league knew that if there was one thing the Stars were known for, it's our giant ####s. They are the biggest around, and this change hits us really hard. Now I'm going to have to put together a normal team? This is just sad. I liked walking down the street and have people say 'Hey, there goes that guy with the humongous ####'. That's a good feeling, and I don't know where we go from here."