Yet another NBA head coach has been fired this morning in a tumultuous offseason. This time it's the Bob Wallace, coach of the Road Team, who failed to win again twice last night, falling to the Boston Celtics in Boston and the Los Angeles Lakers in California. The Road Team has gone a horrendous 1-19 in the second round of the playoffs, and many road fans were clamoring for a coaching change. This is the first time a team has fired their coach before a playoff series was over, but it wasn't completely unexpected with such an abysmal record.

It's unknown how this will affect the Road Team throughout the rest of the playoffs. "It's going to be very tough," said Chris Paul, whose team will take on San Antonio tonight. "It's hard trying to win on the road in front of a hostile crowd as it is, but now to be without a coach, this is going to be next to impossible." This year's postseason has been a stark contrast to last year's success, where the Road Team took home an NBA championship on Cleveland's home turf. While no exact reason can be pinpointed for the downfall of the champions, many are saying the lack of a home court and a constantly changing roster are to blame. Last night alone they played their two games with completely different lineups, and tonight it will be yet another total overhaul of talent as they acquired stars Chris Paul and David West from the team they lost to earlier in the week.

Despite the poor play of the Road Team, and the fact that they are without a head coach at this time, Steven A. Smith believes they will still make it to the NBA Finals. "This Road Team is just too experienced not to make it there. They have played in every NBA Finals since the inception of them, I would be very surprised if they did not eventually wind up there again. We'll see what happens."

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Gregg Popovich has outlined a new gameplan he says will help the San Antonio Spurs take the lead in their series with the Hornets as it heads back to New Orleans tonight. That innovative gameplan is to actually try on the road, something no team has really done during the second round so far. He came up with the plan after many sleepless nights of studying classic basketball strategy books and reviewing game footage.

It's unknown how this will play out in the game tonight, but other coaches around the league are skeptical. "He wants to actually give 100% on the road?" said Celtics head coach Doc Rivers. "This is basketball we're playing here, not crazyball. If he wants to embarrass himself and his team by trying something like that, go ahead. We're not going to look silly on TV by actually trying and then losing a game to a lesser team without any excuses. We're going to claim the home crowd fires us up and makes us play on another level, and let Lebron do whatever he wants in Cleveland in the meantime. We're going to ride that excuse all the way into the Finals, the way it should be."

The NBA league office is searching for ways to make sure a Boston Celtics-Los Angeles Lakers Finals takes place this year. What seemed like almost absolute certainty entering the post-season is now in jeopardy after the Utah Jazz tied up their series on Sunday and Boston has struggled on the road against both Atlanta and Cleveland. "At this point nothing is certain," said David Stern. "What we do know for sure is that no one wants to see Utah or Cleveland battle it out for a championship. I personally would rather watch some nonsense like hockey over that."

"So, what we're going to do is just create an alternative championship, just in case one of these teams should lose. College football does it with the BCS sometimes, they have split championships. So we feel we should be able to do it here. We're going to just add in a second championship that already has Boston and LA scheduled in it. Then they can play the series everyone wants to see. Kobe against KG, Paul Pierce against...whoever else is on Kobe's team. Whoever gets to the other final out of this riffraff that is left can go at each other in a single game, no sense in making people watch more than one game of that. We can't afford to put them in their home courts for that though, but there are a few high school gyms that have offered themselves up for whoever makes it. We don't know if it will be on TV yet, but cable channels Versus and TV Land have both agreed to show the game, as long as it can be aired after 1:00 AM."

Kobe Bryant was awarded his first MVP award today after 11 previous seasons of being unable to get the prestigious honor. He was near the top of the NBA in scoring and led a team many considered to not be all that great to the number one seed in a tough western conference. It was a deserved award for the multiple all-star, finally emerging from Shaq's shadow to become the driving force for the Lakers. But it comes at a time just after the other two prime candidates for the award had exceptional nights. Chris Paul, the Hornets point guard, unleashed 30 points and 12 assists in a blowout of the defending champions. But an even greater performance came from the Pistons scoreboard operator, who managed to throw things out of whack at the end of the third quarter so that Detroit could make a last-second 3-pointer.

The Pistons scoreboard operator has had an outstanding season manipulating time itself, and yesterday was another example of just how valuable he is to this team. There were times during the season when a loss seemed absolutely certain, only to have the scoreboard operator put this team on his back and say "Hey, this game isn't over until I say it is. You now have 5 more minutes on that clock. Let's go get it done." Speeches like this helped to motivate the team to come out and beat their confused foes, who had often already begun leaving the court thinking they had won. Many pundits thought his outstanding play, and selection of motivational jumbotron messages such as "D-Fence!", "Let's Go Pistons", and "D-Fence!!!" were perfect this year and worthy of the MVP.

"I feel he got robbed," said the Orlando Magic scoreboard operator, who has been unable to shut down his opponent in the first 2 games. "He's a miestro with the numbers. There is no one else in the sport who can do what he does to cheat other teams out of victories. I look forward to facing him in the rest of this series, hopefully I don't get completely blown away."

Jason Kidd has been levied with a heavy fine after game 4 of the Mavericks-Hornets series during which the game had to stop for several minutes due to his horrid odor. Apparently Kidd has not changed or washed his jersey since coming over to the Mavs, nor bathed himself, because he does not want to mess up his luck. New Orleans guard Chris Paul complained of the stench coming from the man he was supposed to defend after game one. "This dude smells like assburger," railed Paul following that game. "That is, of course, a hamburger prepared in the #### of a bed-ridden obese man, topped with the cheese-like substance that forms there, and covered in expired mayonnaise."

But NBA officials declined to do anything following game one, as they felt he smelled more like an #### sirloin or perhaps a butt taco. But during game 4, when Kidd went into the lane for a layup and raised his arms, two Hornets players fainted due to the stench. He was assessed a flagrant foul for the incident. Apparently they can be given for either an overly aggressive play or the more underutilized terrible smell.

Play was stopped for several minutes as team officials came out to hose off kid and apply copious amounts of perfume and deodorant spray. Even more embarrassing was the fact that the only cologne they had on hand was Dirk Nowitzki's fragrance called "Fervor". Once his smell was back to acceptable levels after 20 or so minutes, the game was resumed and Dallas went on to fall to New Orleans to trail in the series 3-1. Kidd blames the unlucky new smells for the loss.

The NBA Playoffs are beginning and we here at TSC are going to break down the matchups by their mascots, the thing that really matters.

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  Lakers(1) vs. Nuggets(8): The embodiment of the great lakes of Los Angeles, the Lakers have been a force in the NBA since moving out west from Minnesota. They face the Nuggets, who have not ever been a force even in their own city. Neither of these mascots make enough sense to be involved in a fight with each other, as I'm not even sure what a laker is. But nuggets are little rocks of gold, and I feel that rocks need to be punished for being bested by paper in the game of Rock-Paper-Scissors. I don't know why rock didn't complain when the three of them were sitting around decided on the rules for that game. But now rocks are known as ####, and the Nuggets are about to pay the price for this.
  
  Prediction: Lakers 4-0
  
  
• 
  Hornets(2) vs. Mavericks(7): The bees take on the dreaded horse/basketball hybrid that is the Mavericks. This series will be a bit closer, as the Mavs have some talented players, but the Hornets are very under-rated. They are a bug, yet they still wear oversized shoes and big mime gloves. They are out to embarass the Mavs, and there will be little they can do to stop them. Before they became a big blue horse basketball, the Mavericks mascot was a cowboy. We here at TSC have obtained medical records from back them stating an allergy to none other than bees. They swelled up like a baloon when stung by them several years ago and changed their mascot to hide this fact. Look for domination by New Orleans in this one.
  
  Prediction: Hornets 4-2
  
  
• 
  Spurs(3) vs. Suns(6): Those sharp things that go on the back of cowboy boots versus not one but multiple suns. This is a very tough matchup, as nothing has beat a sun in a fight son far to date. Many say Tim Duncan could defeat a sun, and NASA has looked into launching him towards the nearby solar system of Alpha Centauri, as their sun has always been a #### to us. But the Duncan-sun theory is yet unproven and I think he would merely burn up. I think Shaq and Phoenix scores an upset in this one.
  
  Prediction: Suns 4-3
  
  
• 
  Jazz(4) vs. Rockets(5): Just like the Lakers, if there is one thing Utah is known for it is its Jazz. But they face a tough opponent in the Rockets. I used to watch underground fight videos of jazz players against retired Mark IV Soviet Union rockets that took place in brazil. The site has now been closed by the government, but let me just say that I had never seen a jazz player win. Something about turning on your rocket boosters into the face of an 70 year old musician that just makes the contests short.
  
  Prediction: Rockets 4-3
  

The city of New Orleans was barely left standing after the disaster that was the 2007 Saints season. Standing among the rubble of their homes and businesses, residents huddled together waiting for help to arrive in the form of a free agent or trade, but none came. Every Sunday, the Superdome became a shelter for those wanting to witness the chaos and carnage. But out of this tragedy, the city has rebuilt itself. It has banded together in a way that they have not done in...about a year.

The symbol of this rebuilding and rejuvenation of the city has been the New Orleans Hornets, who now have the best record in the Western Conference. "We are very proud of our team and our city, it shows that we can come back from such an epic disaster. I lost 2 children to that Saints season. I went to get concessions about a minute before halftime, and when I looked up at the scoreboard while in line I saw we had somehow given up two more touchdowns. I decided I couldn't take it anymore and just left, with my kids still in the stands. Damn you god! They were so young!"

The mayor made a speech following the Hornets latest win that allowed them to take over first place from the San Antonio Spurs. "When our city was flooded with the suck of Reggie Bush, I was worried we would never be able to rebuild. I remember rowing a boat through the suck, seeing people on their roofs trying to not let the suck touch them. I, like you, watched all the commercials mocking us, pretending Reggie Bush was a good player. But we persevered, we survived the storm, and now the Hornets are going to carry this city on a magical run to the conference championship, where we will lose to an opponent that is a heavy underdog!"

In an amazing feat, the Atlanta Hawks Josh Smith was 4 of 10 for the game shooting with his face.

(AP Photo/John Amis)

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