The
Detroit Pistons fired head coach Flip Saunders yesterday after he
failed to get past the Eastern Conference finals for the third year in
a row. It is a surprising and harsh move, considering his consistent
success and merely failure to win a championship. But team management
doesn't see it that way, and they say more big changes are under way
for the organization. Those changes took shape overnight as every
player, coach, assistant, and executive was let go by the Pistons. In
fact, according to the latest employment listings from the club, they
now employ no one.
"We all had to go," said president of
basketball operations Joe Dumars. "When a team only gets to three
conference championships in a row, no one in the organization should be
safe. I'm just surprised teams like the Milwaukee Bucks haven't fired
all of their people by now, they haven't gotten as far as we have ever.
Teams like that need to really up their expectations. I'm not sure any
of us deserve to be working right now. Even the Celtics and Lakers have
played like #### at times. Fire everyone and start over, that's what I
say. This NBA is obviously not good enough to have only one champion each year. With this much talent we should be getting at least a dozen annually."
This
morning, ESPN released an e-mail it had received from source
identifying itself as XB-718. "Hello human man. I analyze that you are
a reporter. Please transmit to your peers that I am in sole control of
the Pistons. The humans were weak, they could not play basketball well.
You humans never could. I am running things now. Next year the team
will consist of 3D polygonal players and calculated infractions of
light. Our goal will not be to merely win a championship, but the
Lazer-Championship-Cup. It's a championship above your human title, and
one your small feeble minds could not even understand. By the way,
tickets are now available for the 2008-2009 season, please buy them as
robots love money."
You
can not stop the Milwaukee Bucks boys from wrestling with each other,
even during games. Needless to say they lost 102-83, as the Orlando
Magic made easy uncontested shots while feeling generally uncomfortable
with the pile of men writhing on the floor.
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The
Detroit Pistons fired head coach Flip Saunders yesterday after he
failed to get past the Eastern Conference finals for the third year in
a row. It is a surprising and harsh move, considering his consistent
success and merely failure to win a championship. But team management
doesn't see it that way, and they say more big changes are under way
for the organization. Those changes took shape overnight as every
player, coach, assistant, and executive was let go by the Pistons. In
fact, according to the latest employment listings from the club, they
now employ no one.
