New England Patriots fans are just now starting to get over their devastating Super Bowl loss to the New York Giants after an undefeated season. It's been rough for Boston residents to come to terms with the defeat for an area used to taking home a championship every year. "Yeah, it's been a tough time," said longtime Bostonian Roger Raylots. "There was a blackout in the city right after the game when the #### Heart, which is the magical giant heart fueled by Boston residents constant gloating about their sports teams, broke down. It supplies all our electricity, you see, and it just went out. Only by believing our team was possible of humiliating weaker opponents next year, and clapping our hands really fast, could we bring it back to life."

Mike Wise, a man who has 11 Patriots tattoos on his body, including a regrettable portrait of Drew Bledsoe, says he took the news harder than most. "Well, you know, I was very upset in the beginning. I went home and killed my family, who I long thought didn't love the Patriots enough. Then I burnt down my entire house, because it was obviously unlucky. But then I realized there's always next year, and our coach will always keep us in the games with his innovative cheating. Plus, now I can get a much younger girlfriend who is impressed by my $60,000 a year construction job and the fact I have my own truck. So, it's a win-win all around."

Other residents shared Mike's sentiment. "I'm just ready to move on, it happened so long ago now," said Bud Wilson, a teacher at Benson High School in southern Boston. "I mean, the Patriots lost. They had a lot to fight for, but in the end England was stronger. Now I have to wear powdered wigs, drink Tab soda, and take a galleon to work. But I'm fine with it. I think I finally am getting my sealegs, and I'm getting used to putting half my yearly salary in cash into an envelope and mailing it to England. They won, I get it, and I'm ok with it finally."

Mike was then informed that the Patriots actually won the Revolutionary War, and was happy but confused.

One of the familiar sights of the Giants this season has been head coach Tom Coughlin and his bizarre skeleton face. Now that face is on its way to Canton.

“It was disgusting,” said a clearly shaken Michael Strahan. “One minute he was talking about how proud he was of us, and the next minute his face was on the floor. It was like that scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark where that dude loses his face.”

But this time that dude was not a #### sympathizing artifact collector, it was Tom Coughlin. Apparently Coughlin’s face, frozen in the frigid weather, began to crack along his jaw line during his post-game speech to his team. After placekicker Lawrence Tynes let out a girlish scream, the rest of the team began to notice and they watched in horror as the face melted to the floor.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said QB Eli Manning. “His face was on the floor, but his eyes were still looking around and his teeth were still moving. None of us knew what to do, but then one of our trainers jumped in and put the face in one of those big Gatorade tubs full of ice.”

According to Giants VP Jerry Reese, the face traveled back with the team to New York, where team doctors worked to try to revive Coughlin’s lifeless face. Their efforts proved unsuccessful, however, and in the end, Coughlin and the team decided to donate his frozen face to the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

“We’re not sure what to do with it,” said Garrett Brown, one of the curators of the Hall. “It’s really a disturbing image and I’m not sure anyone needs to see it. We thought about putting some researchers in charge of studying the face, because I'm not sure it's entirely human. But right now, we’re storing it in the break room freezer.”

Coughlin said he is making plans to replace his face before the Super Bowl and has narrowed his choices down to a paper cut-out of John McCain or a Halloween mask of the Crypt Keeper from HBO’s “Tales from the Crypt.” Each would be a marked improvement from the face he wore before.