There is trouble in Miami today as a story broke that late last night a fight erupted between the Miami Heat and team President Pat Riley. Apparently the Miami Heat had positioned themselves well with the trade of Shaq to be well under the NBA salary cap for next season. But Riley was angry to come home and find that the Heat had spent the rest of their cap money on alcohol and draft lottery tickets, leaving them with nothing to sign free agents with. Police were called to team headquarters where they found Riley with several bruises on his hands, and the Heat crying in a corner of the office with a few cuts and bruises of their own. The Heat say they just fell down the stairs, but the police took Riley into custody anyway.

Riley gave an angry tirade as he was drug away by Miami officers. "You just couldn't resist spending my money could you?! We had the best chance to win the draft lottery already, we didn't need anymore tickets! And what the hell is this booze you bought? Bud Light with Lime? We're not the ####valiers here!"

The Miami Heat say they were in the NBA convenience store when they realized they had a few extra dollars to spend. They decided to pick up a few drinks and some draft lottery scratch off cards in hopes of winning big. "We got some really fun games," said the Heat. "One where you have to scratch off 3 dead cats and you can win an O.J. Mayo. Another where you have to match #### fruit with sticks of dynamite and you can get Tyler Hansbrough. They looked like so much fun, we were going to play them together with Riley. But he just kept...watching us fall down the stairs."

TSC stood by as they scratched off one of the cards and tried their luck. "Oh! Oh! We got 2 dead cats and...a horse pleasuring itself! That means we get a free card! Oh man, this was so worth it! It's too bad Pat couldn't have been here to share in this great win for the franchise."

Like O.J. Mayo, Tyler Hansborough, and Michael Beasly, yet another player has declared himself eligible for the upcoming 2008 NBA Draft. But this time it's Washington Wizards point guard Gilbert Arenas. The move has stunned basketball GMs around the league as they scramble to update their draft boards to accomodate the superstar. This is the first time an active player has re-entered the draft while currently playing.

Arenas is a 7th year player out of Arizona, and will be by far the oldest in this year's draft. But, a player of his caliber demands consideration by every team, as he has consistently put up 20+ points when healthy with the Wizards. He was originally drafted in 2001 by Golden State. "It's been 7 years, I think I've fulfilled my commitment to the league when they drafted me the first time," said Arenas. "It's time to be drafted again. It was fun, and I think it's the only way I can finally escape these damn Wizards. We just can't beat Lebron. I need out, hopefully a Western Conference team can pick me up or something."

USC star OJ Mayo announced today that he was leaving college for the NBA draft. It was an expected move for the player some thought was the best in the country, averaging over 20 points per game. The freshman guard will likely go in the first round.

In order to prepare for his NBA arrival, Gatorade has announced they are released a brand new flavor called OJ Mayo X-treme Blast. The press release for the new drink describes it as "A refreshing blend of the freshest orange juice and the finest aged mayonnaise, taken to the x-treme with a blast of electrolytes and the essence of star OJ Mayo." The flavor is currently undergoing blind taste tests around the country, and so far people are unable to distinguish the taste of it from that of vomit. The drink is also the first sports beverage to feature the actual sweat of it's athlete endorser, which is the aforementioned essence.