Alex Rodriguez is expected to return to the New York Yankees on Tuesday after missing much of the early part of the season with a quad injury. Doctors have advised him that returning so soon could put him at risk to re-aggravate the injury, but A-Rod is anxious to get back and help the team. "Well, I've been a part of so many disappointing teams here in the past, but this one looks like it may just be the most disappointing," Rodriguez said. "I'm excited to get out there again and help crush the dreams of the overbearing New York fans. What better way to do that than for the highest paid player in baseball to be a part of the last place team? For too long I've been alone out there playing way below expectations, especially in the clutch. But now everyone is doing their part, it's very exciting."

It's believed Yankee fans have long expected too much of their team, and this season filled with young pitching should have been looked at as a rebuilding effort. "I don't know about that, I don't think we're a particularly overly demanding bunch," said Pat Holm, a long-time fan of the Bronx Bombers. "They be going through a rough patch right now that none of us expected, sure. But with A-Rod coming back tomorrow, I don't see any reason that they can't win out the rest of the season and finish with 130 or so wins. That seems entirely reasonable, and I'm going to freak out on message boards and sports talk radio if it doesn't happen."

Many sports pundits are not putting much faith in the ability of the team to reach the 130 win plateau that most of the fans are looking for. But they are certain that if it doesn't happen, there will be a lot of angry grumbling from Hank Steinbrenner.

"We are happy to announce the signing of another piece of last year's world champion team," said a happy Hank Steinbrenner at a press conference Friday morning. "We were very happy with the way the team performed last year in sweeping every game of the playoffs and World Series on the way to winning yet another Championship."

Jorge Posada was the piece Hank was talking about, who inked a $52.4 million 4-year contract yesterday, making him the highest paid catcher in history. The Yankees are also close to re-signing Alex Rodriguez, Mariano Rivera, and even backup catcher Jose Molina. They also re-signed disappointing center fielder Bobby Abreu for $16 million. Their biggest loss from last year's team would have to be...relief pitcher Ron Villone? It's a strange move to resign everyone from a team many thought was a major disappointment last season.

But after Hank left the room, George Steinbrenner elaborated. "Alright everyone, as you can see I haven't been completely honest with my son about what happened last year on the field. Hank is a special boy, and he just can't handle being let-down. One time when he was younger we told him we wouldn't be able to stop by McDonald's after school, even though I promised, and he went into a seizure. He just can't handle the truth. So I told him we won the championship last year. I've actually told him we've won every championship for the past 30 years."

Asked if that seemed irresponsible Steinbrenner continued, "No. It's just the way you've got to handle him. We've never actually told him that Santa Claus wasn't real. Before he got married we called in his wife and told her she had to go out and put out the presents so that he'd never figure it out. It's a bit of a crazy situation, but it's necessary. Our team is going to be as bad as before, but cost even more than it did. But at least Hank will be happy."

SportsComedian.com