Joe Torre was introduced Monday as the new manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers after 12 seasons with the New York Yankees. The all-time leader in postseason victories with 76 and a career 2,067-1,770 record takes over a team that began to fall apart and the end of the season and limped to a 82-80 record.

"I think it's great for the team and the city," pitcher Brad Penny said. "There's a buzz in the city. He knows a lot about the game. When he talks, you're going to listen. Going into the spring, everyone's going to be excited. He probably has a pretty good idea of what we need, who to put where."

Indeed, the Dodgers do need a lot of help and it appeared at times last season they didn't know where people needed to go or even what a baseball team consisted of. General Manager Ned Colletti said "Joe Torre here has come up with some great ideas for next season on how we can improve as a baseball team. He says we're going to try using something called a "bat" up at the plate, which we will apparently use to hit the ball with. It sound illegal to me, but he says it's all the rage over in the American League."

Joe Torre explained further, "I have told them about some things they need to do differently next year. I showed them this thing called electricity, that they can use in their stadiums at night to make it easier to see. I also showed them how to make fire with a device I brought with me from New York called a match."

Colletti gave him a pat on the back and continued, "Indeed, the fire was truly amazing. We called in the rest of the team via horse messenger and we all just stared at it all night. He certainly brings a lot of knowledge to this team that wasn't there before. We are excited about our future together."

SportsComedian.com