In a brutal attack upon the very foundation of America, FedEx Field on Thursday night was the site of two quarterbacks being struck down by their oldest nemesis, ninjas. Jason Campbell, Washington Redskins QB, and Rex Grossman, QB for the Bears, both fell with knee injuries early in the game last night. The culprits responsible for the gruesome injuries are still at large, but they are believed to be ninjas, sworn enemies of quarterbacks.

Many fans and even the announcers did not acknowledge the attacks for what they obviously were, a blatant revenge strike for the famous Hayagoshi Temple invasion of last year. It was during that invasion of the Ninja's sacred home where Tom Brady and Brett Favre led an all-out assault on the complex. Carrying explosive footballs and wearing helmets made of steel, the QB force was able to plant the bombs at the base of the building and bring it down in a pile of rubble. Many bodies were found at the scene, some with football sized holes through their torsos. One ninja was found alive, burned and barely breathing. He vowed the ninjas would have vengeance upon the house of quarterbacks some time in the future.

The attack on Thursday night was carried out with great secrecy as the ninjas slipped in, took out the knees, and then slipped out without ever being seen. Jason Campbell's knee was taken out with a well-placed ninja star, which has to be removed there on the field with much visible pain. It's unknown what was used to injure Grossman, but a pair of nunchucks were found near a concession stand some time later that night. It's strange that the broadcasters did not catch on to the attack, as they have slow motion cameras which could have been used to get a glimpse of the ninjas.

The QB-Ninja fued is one of the oldest in the history of the world. For hundreds of years they have warred with each other in fuedal Japan, fighting over lands and principles. For many years the ninjas held the upper hand, such as the Battle of Okinawa, where an estimated 4000 quarterbacks were killed by the superior ninja forces. Ninjas were always much better with swords and close combat. But due to the advent of the football some 100 years ago, the quarterbacks have been able to win most encounters due to the long range nature of the ball.

The conflict is obviously nowhere near finished, and a warrant is out for the arrest of the ninjas.

Despite being perhaps the most obvious call in the history of officiating, Bernard Berrian still demands his coach challenge the out-of-bounds ruling. One does not argue with Bernard Berrian.