Michelle
Wie called a press conference Monday afternoon to address the media.
She was visibly upset and told the crowd that although she was wearing
a yellow layered tank top, she really wanted to hold the press
conference in her favorite red blouse. She was fighting back tears as
she told the story of how she forgot to sign her work order at the dry
cleaners, and when she went back to pick up her clothes they were still
unclean.
"I don't know how I could have forgotten to do
something like this," she sobbed into the microphone. "I wanted you all
to see me in that red top, because it makes me look all hot and stuff.
My friend Tabitha says it totally makes me look like Lucy Liu. But now
because of some archaic technicality there will be no top!" She spent
the next 30 minutes talking about the red blouse, and how it had a
perfect fit. When asked by a reporter what she called the press
conference to tell them before realizing she couldn't wear the shirt,
she said she did not remember.
Just
days after his heroic triumph at the U.S. Open, overcoming the pain of
a brutal knee injury to win in 91 holes of golf, Tiger Woods was again
battling for another victory. This win came at a Santa Monica area
Starbucks where Woods showed up early in the morning following his
announcement that he would need season-ending knee surgery, where Tiger
was after a frappucino. When he came in, the capacity crowd of 23 all
were wondering whether Tiger possessed the mettle necessary to overcome
the knee and make a successful drink order. His dedication to getting
the frozen coffee beverage was put to the test early on, as he stood
behind a line of 5 other patrons, including one who had a complicated
order for the whole office that took about 15 minutes to fill. We've
all seen lesser men simply walk out when faced with such a daunting
line, and those are men without horrific injuries.
But Tiger kept
it together, vowing to himself that nothing would stand in his way of
getting a caramel mocha frappucino. When he got to the counter, it was
obvious that he was in some pain as he limped up to talk to the
barista. The crowd erupted when not only did he order a frappucino, but
a venti frappucino, which is the largest size in the crazy made-up
Starbuckian language. A lesser golfer would have been content there,
but Woods even added whipped cream to the top of his beverage, adding a
brutal .12 ouncesof extra weight. When you are battling a knee problem,
every little bit just adds on to the pain.
After receiving his
drink the real test of his resolve was on, as he made his way to the
condiment counter where he twisted and contorted his body to grab sugar
and sweetner. His face grimaced as he bent for some half and half, and
everyone could see the torque being put on the knee. But in the end he
was able to walk out of that Starbucks with the beverage of his choice,
a true testament toall athletes who rise above their own pain to
perform for the fans. It may just be the greatest drink order of hil
illustrious career.
Rocco
Mediate, the 45 year old who tied Tiger Woods on Sunday to force an
18-hole playoff yesterday, looked to be in prime position to score one
of the greatest upsets of all time. He went toe-to-toe with Tiger for
all 18 holes and was even winning by one stroke up until the 18th, when
Tiger made birdie to tie it up again. The game then went to sudden
death and everyone was braced for a tense couple of holes, but on the
very first hole Mediate collapsed with an actual case of sudden death.
It was a very anti-climactic end to the engaging contest, but Tiger
fans in attendance were still pleased with the result. "I've been a
Tiger fan forever, and we've seen him do about everything," said Jake
Green, a Woods fan who came all the way from Texas to watch the
tournament. "But now I can say I was there when he killed a man through
sheer golf skill. What an amazing performance."
Woods offered
his sympathy to the family of Mediate. "I want them to know how sorry I
am about what happened. When you are this great at the game of golf,
sometimes you forget your own power, the power that can only be fueled
by the new Gatorade Tiger flavor. After accidentally killing a few
putting instructors when I was a teenager, I vowed I would never kill
with golf again. But, the U.S. Open brings out the competitor in me,
and I had to take him out with my A-game. An A-game, that is only
possible through the innovations of Nike brand golf equipment. I think
this championship cup they gave me opens on top, and I'd be willing to
put the ashes of Rocco in here, if his family wants. He can then rest
in my trophy case, and hopefully when they visit I will be able to find
him amongst the hundreds of other trophies I have in there. I think
that would be a poignant dedication to his memory. A memory best
captured with Nikon digital cameras and accessories."
Trevor
Immelman sealed a Masters victory on Sunday by holding off Tiger Woods
on the final day of the most prestigious major. In the end he ended up
finishing 3 strokes ahead of Woods and getting the famous green jacket
placed upon him. Many wonder why such an ugly piece of clothing is
awarded to the winner of the most famous tournament. But golf is filled
with strange fashion awards at their various events, and it is a
tradition as old as the sport itself. Here are just a few that are a
bit stranger than the green blazer:
The World's Greatest Grandpa t-shirt is awarded to the winner of the
Montana Open. Far from a major, the tournament anually has trouble
filling a 12-man field. The long-standing tradition of the WGG t-shirt
dates way back to the year of 1997 when tournament organizers realized
they needed a prize for their winner who hit a course record 102, and
found this in a nearby giftshop. Since then one person gets given the
shirt annually, and it is commonly found in a trashcan later by a fan.
The
Bay Hill Invitational Bonnet is a piece given out honoring the
traditions of crossdressers in colonial America. After winning the hat
twice in a row twice, Vijay Singh claimed it was merely an award to
make him look ridiculous, but tournament organizers insist that is not
the case. Indeed, since then every winner has had to put on the bonnet
and churn the ceremonial butter while performing the Village People's
hit song "In The Navy".
The
powdered wig awarded to the champion of the British Open was thought to
be one of the nicest prizes in golf. That was until John Daly's lit on
fire back in 2004 while he was smoking with it on. Apparently the
powder is highly flammable, and the wig hasn't been given out since.
But
perhaps the most embarassing, literally, fashion award in all of golf
are The Player's Championship ####-Less Chaps. Tiger Woods is the
frequent winner of the spandex pants, and luckily for the viewing
public he is one of the few golfers who works out.
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Michelle
Wie called a press conference Monday afternoon to address the media.
She was visibly upset and told the crowd that although she was wearing
a yellow layered tank top, she really wanted to hold the press
conference in her favorite red blouse. She was fighting back tears as
she told the story of how she forgot to sign her work order at the dry
cleaners, and when she went back to pick up her clothes they were still
unclean. 
Just
days after his heroic triumph at the U.S. Open, overcoming the pain of
a brutal knee injury to win in 91 holes of golf, Tiger Woods was again
battling for another victory. This win came at a Santa Monica area
Starbucks where Woods showed up early in the morning following his
announcement that he would need season-ending knee surgery, where Tiger
was after a frappucino. When he came in, the capacity crowd of 23 all
were wondering whether Tiger possessed the mettle necessary to overcome
the knee and make a successful drink order. His dedication to getting
the frozen coffee beverage was put to the test early on, as he stood
behind a line of 5 other patrons, including one who had a complicated
order for the whole office that took about 15 minutes to fill. We've
all seen lesser men simply walk out when faced with such a daunting
line, and those are men without horrific injuries.
Rocco
Mediate, the 45 year old who tied Tiger Woods on Sunday to force an
18-hole playoff yesterday, looked to be in prime position to score one
of the greatest upsets of all time. He went toe-to-toe with Tiger for
all 18 holes and was even winning by one stroke up until the 18th, when
Tiger made birdie to tie it up again. The game then went to sudden
death and everyone was braced for a tense couple of holes, but on the
very first hole Mediate collapsed with an actual case of sudden death.
It was a very anti-climactic end to the engaging contest, but Tiger
fans in attendance were still pleased with the result. "I've been a
Tiger fan forever, and we've seen him do about everything," said Jake
Green, a Woods fan who came all the way from Texas to watch the
tournament. "But now I can say I was there when he killed a man through
sheer golf skill. What an amazing performance."
Trevor
Immelman sealed a Masters victory on Sunday by holding off Tiger Woods
on the final day of the most prestigious major. In the end he ended up
finishing 3 strokes ahead of Woods and getting the famous green jacket
placed upon him. Many wonder why such an ugly piece of clothing is
awarded to the winner of the most famous tournament. But golf is filled
with strange fashion awards at their various events, and it is a
tradition as old as the sport itself. Here are just a few that are a
bit stranger than the green blazer:
The World's Greatest Grandpa t-shirt is awarded to the winner of the
Montana Open. Far from a major, the tournament anually has trouble
filling a 12-man field. The long-standing tradition of the WGG t-shirt
dates way back to the year of 1997 when tournament organizers realized
they needed a prize for their winner who hit a course record 102, and
found this in a nearby giftshop. Since then one person gets given the
shirt annually, and it is commonly found in a trashcan later by a fan.
The
Bay Hill Invitational Bonnet is a piece given out honoring the
traditions of crossdressers in colonial America. After winning the hat
twice in a row twice, Vijay Singh claimed it was merely an award to
make him look ridiculous, but tournament organizers insist that is not
the case. Indeed, since then every winner has had to put on the bonnet
and churn the ceremonial butter while performing the Village People's
hit song "In The Navy". 
The
powdered wig awarded to the champion of the British Open was thought to
be one of the nicest prizes in golf. That was until John Daly's lit on
fire back in 2004 while he was smoking with it on. Apparently the
powder is highly flammable, and the wig hasn't been given out since. 
But
perhaps the most embarassing, literally, fashion award in all of golf
are The Player's Championship 
