Like O.J. Mayo, Tyler Hansborough, and Michael Beasly, yet another player has declared himself eligible for the upcoming 2008 NBA Draft. But this time it's Washington Wizards point guard Gilbert Arenas. The move has stunned basketball GMs around the league as they scramble to update their draft boards to accomodate the superstar. This is the first time an active player has re-entered the draft while currently playing.

Arenas is a 7th year player out of Arizona, and will be by far the oldest in this year's draft. But, a player of his caliber demands consideration by every team, as he has consistently put up 20+ points when healthy with the Wizards. He was originally drafted in 2001 by Golden State. "It's been 7 years, I think I've fulfilled my commitment to the league when they drafted me the first time," said Arenas. "It's time to be drafted again. It was fun, and I think it's the only way I can finally escape these damn Wizards. We just can't beat Lebron. I need out, hopefully a Western Conference team can pick me up or something."

If the opponent isn't dead on the court, your zone defense is a little too soft.

Jamaal Tinsley was involved in a shooting outside a hotel in Indianapolis over the weekend. The Pacers equipment manager, who was with Tinsley, was the only person injured in the incident.

Police started looking for subjects soon after the altercation, but Tinsley informed them that would not be necessary. The bullets that wounded the equipment manager were not actually fired by any gun, they were merely flying at Tinsley due to him being highly magnetized, and the man got in the way.

"This whole thing was very unfortunate," said an apologetic Tinsley. "About a week ago I accidentally ate a piece of an alien meteor. Then shortly after that I was bombarded by Gamma rays during a freak tanning bed accident. On the way to the hospital I was bitten by what appeared to be a radioactive elk. Once there my physician, Dr. Insane-O, injected me with an experimental drug he invented that was supposed to suppress the symptoms of the bite. Somehow, all of this combined to make me highly magnetic, sort of like the character Magneto from the X-Men movies. Only, it's not a useful power at all, I can't control metal, it just flies at me."

He held up his left hand, "I haven't been able to take off my watch in weeks. This whole thing is getting very annoying. What happened Sunday we walked outside the U.S. National Ammunition Museum, showcasing the largest array of gun ammunition in the world. We were right outside the window and...well...my power took over and it came flying right at me. I want to apologize to the man's family for his injury, this truly is sad. I've done everything I could to avoid something like this happening. I canceled my trip to the Indiana Knife Factory I had scheduled for earlier this month, I just didn't think about that museum. I thought having a super power would be cool, but this one sure isn't. I've started researching a cure now in my spare time. I know nothing about science though, so I just wear a lab coat, look through a microscope, and pour #### water into various beakers in my basement. But hopefully, somehow, this yields a cure. A cure for bullets flying at me."

SportsComedian.com
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