The Cleveland Browns' Derek Anderson made his first showing in a Pro Bowl after an excellent 2007 season, in which he threw 29 touchdown passes. But it was not a great showing for the first year starter in the game of NFL all-stars, as he completed 10 of 26 passes for 103 yards, no TDs and an interception. Anderson blamed the play of his team, which was not up to the level of quality those he has in Cleveland.

"This team is just a bunch of nobodies," said a frustrated Anderson after the game. "I'm used to playing with some of the greats up there in Cleveland, like Darnell Dinkins and Tim Carter. I don't know why this team signed scrubs like this C. Johnson and T. Gonzalez. But they sure can't catch a ball to save their lives."

When he was picked off in the endzone during the third quarter, he stormed to the sideline and angrily threw down his helmet. "What's up with this line protection? These guys couldn't block for a college team! They're just awful! It's like they've only been playing together for a week or something! The other team gets established superstars like Adrian Peterson and my side gets saddled with unknown garbage like Fred Taylor? Who is this guy and where did he come from?"

The Jacksonville Jaguars gathered in a meeting called by Jack Del Rio late Thursday night. He was there to break all of them that they have one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL, and his name is David Garrard. 65% passing, 13 TDs, 1 INT, and a 103 QB rating are his stats on the season, yet no one knows he even exists.

"What is this nonsense you are spouting Del Rio?!" said an irate Fred Taylor after the announcement. "We are the Jaguars! We do not have good quarterbacks! And if we did, you'd think some of us would notice." It was then that Garrard emerged from behind a curtain, illiciting gasps from the team. "What is that?! I've never seen anything like it before in my entire career!"

"It's called a good quarterback," replied Del Rio. "His name is David Garrard, and he's actually been on our team and playing in all our games so far. He's been downright great, but no one has noticed."

The team had many questions after that. Some were amazed at what a good QB looked like, having never seen one before. Others simply wanted to touch him. "It's amazing," said receiver Reggie Williams. "I never noticed he was throwing me the ball. Apparently I also have a locker next to his, carpool with him, and babysit his kids on the weekend. Who knew!"

We contacted the NFL on when they would be making an announcement about Garrard being a great QB to the general public. They say the world is not yet ready to know, and are going to make the statement before the playoffs officially begin.

But the most surprised people of all of Garrard's existence were his own parents, who Del Rio informed at their home. "Apparently we have a 29-year-old boy named David, and he's good at football," said a stunned James Garrard. "I don't remember ever raising a son, but I guess we did somehow. He just snuck up on us all."

While the rest of the world is yet unaware of Garrard, the United States Government is seeking samples of his DNA to use in stealth technology. "We could make some amazing stealth bombers with whatever David Garrard is made out of," said a Pentagon spokesperson. "No one saw him coming, and no one is noticing him at this very moment. That's what we need, a bomber that can be right in front of your face dropping a nuke or throwing a touchdown, and you'd never even see it."