The city of New Orleans was barely left standing after the disaster that was the 2007 Saints season. Standing among the rubble of their homes and businesses, residents huddled together waiting for help to arrive in the form of a free agent or trade, but none came. Every Sunday, the Superdome became a shelter for those wanting to witness the chaos and carnage. But out of this tragedy, the city has rebuilt itself. It has banded together in a way that they have not done in...about a year.

The symbol of this rebuilding and rejuvenation of the city has been the New Orleans Hornets, who now have the best record in the Western Conference. "We are very proud of our team and our city, it shows that we can come back from such an epic disaster. I lost 2 children to that Saints season. I went to get concessions about a minute before halftime, and when I looked up at the scoreboard while in line I saw we had somehow given up two more touchdowns. I decided I couldn't take it anymore and just left, with my kids still in the stands. Damn you god! They were so young!"

The mayor made a speech following the Hornets latest win that allowed them to take over first place from the San Antonio Spurs. "When our city was flooded with the suck of Reggie Bush, I was worried we would never be able to rebuild. I remember rowing a boat through the suck, seeing people on their roofs trying to not let the suck touch them. I, like you, watched all the commercials mocking us, pretending Reggie Bush was a good player. But we persevered, we survived the storm, and now the Hornets are going to carry this city on a magical run to the conference championship, where we will lose to an opponent that is a heavy underdog!"

I forgot to post this before the games ran Sunday, but since I am the consummate professional, I am still going to reveal them here. Some of them were slightly off:

• The high-octane, fast paced, non-sloppy version of football we play here in America will capture the attention of Europe after this exhibition game. We don't kick balls here, we throw them long into the endzone! (Actual Offensive Tally Sunday: 3 FGs, 2 PATs, 1 Passing TD)
• The Patriots finally come up against a good passing defense this week. Look for trips to the endzone to be scarce for New England.
• If you trust you take financial investing advice from cartoon people, then you should put your money with Charles Shwab. Apparently they all do.
• Once the Jets make the change to Kellen Clemens they will benefit immensely from his accuracy and mistake-free play.
• Why is nobody starting Brooks Bollinger? His name is Brooks Bollinger!
• After years of Subway serving subs with so little meat even vegetarians will eat them, of using veggies that taste like wet pieces of slime, of serving "fresh-baked" bread that makes you long for Wonder brand. Subway is now giving soup the same wonderful treatment. Stop in today!
• The Bengals don't suck!(My most inaccurate day-too-late prediction of all time)
• Now that Trent Edwards is solidified as the Buffalo starter, they can finally get some consistency at the QB position.
• The Dolphins were dumb to trade Daunte Culpepper, he will continue to light it up for Oakland and put all kinds of points on the board.
• The Geico Gecko's accent keeps getting progressively more British. Pretty soon their commercials will sound like "When you're done snogging in your car, be sure to check the bonnet and see if your cherry could use some more petrol. My! I'm feeling a wee bit knackered, I better hit the loo before I get all mingered. Oh yes, also save some quid with Geico."
• I finally unloaded Drew Brees on some unsuspecting sap in my fantasy league! I got Matt Schaub in return! How do you spell Victory?
• With McNabb sucking up the field, it's going to be Brian Westbrook's high yards per carry that will lead the Eagles to a win this week.