The streets of Detroit were in Chaos early Wednesday night when the feud between the lions and tigers, the sports teams of the area, erupted into all out war. The tension had been building since the inception of the NFL's Lions franchise in 1930. City officials believed it was unwise to put a team named after lions in one that already had one named after tigers, due to the volatility of the two cat species. "There is a reason you don't put these two kinds of animals together," said San Diego Zookeeper Rich Blythewood. "They were just asking for trouble, and I'm surprised it took this long for something to happen."

The conflict broke out around 7:12 PM when a local butcher disposed of some expired strip steaks in the alley behind his shop. Some of the tigers and lions happened to be passing near the alley at that time and both wanted the steaks. They started biting and wrestling each other for the meat, and when other felines in the city heard, it devolved into a citywide brawl. Pedestrians on the street were mauled seemingly at random by the angry lions and tigers as they passed them. "They were so friendly before," said C.J. Kamp, a longtime Detroit resident. "I've shared a root beer float many times with a tiger, I've ridden a bicycle built for two with a lion, but now one of them just ate my legs, and the other a large chunk of the skin on my face. I don't know why we all can't get along."

A crazy scientist recommended one of the teams change their name to something unintimidating, like the Detroit Butterflies, back in 1992. But no one listened to him, and now we are all paying the price of the hostility between these two mascots. With 13 declared dead and 112 seriously injured, this is the worst documented citywide mascot feud since the one in Cleveland in 1976. That was where a pack of wild indians got in a violent brawl with the color brown, resulting in the deaths of 4. The incident in Miami last year, where the Marlins and Dolphins attempted to fight ended swiftly when both species realized they could not breathe oxygen and died on the streets. No one was injured there, although the city did smell horrible for several weeks.

Sabathia received 19 of 28 first-place votes and finished with 119 points in balloting by the Baseball Writers' Association of America. Beckett, who outpitched Sabathia twice in the playoffs, was second with eight first-place votes and 86 points.

Also winning awards on Tuesday:

• Jason Giambi, receiving the Money Down The Toilet for his $24 million salary and his .236 average and 83 games played.
• Jarrod Saltalamacchia was given an award by the MLB tailor's association for having the toughest name to fit on a jersey, and then changing teams midseason forcing them to do it again.
• The Colorado Rockies were given the Special Thanks award by Fox Broadcasting for their great showing in the World Series, making sure there was a close series to keep the viewers tuning in.
• The Tampa Bay Rays for removing the one good thing about their team, the name Devil Rays.
• The Florida Marlins for the Best Fire outside of California, for their massive firesale that is about to being again as they trade away their good players who want to be paid a real salary.

On a workout day, Manny Ramirez gave Boston fans a real reason to get worked up. With the Red Sox just one loss from elimination, the star slugger was asked about Game 5 of the American League Championship Series against Cleveland. "Why should we panic?" he said Wednesday in a rare clubhouse interview. "We've got a great team." And then, this: "It doesn't happen, so who cares? There's always next year. It's not like it's the end of the world."

Good point Manny Ramirez, it isn't the end of the world. Obviously, the only hope the Red Sox have left of winning this series they trail 3 games to 1, is if they have a fan who also happens to be a world-renowned supervillian. He would have to hold the world ransom with a diabolical plot like melting the polar ice caps with a giant hairdryer, only to then throw that hairdryer into the now-flooded world ocean. That might be the only way the Indians can blow this series, after looking completely dominant the last two games. If the Red Sox don't win, the world dies, how does that sound Manny? Will you care about winning then?

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So bored in the field are the Cleveland Indians when Manny, Big Papi, or Youkilis are not up, they now resort to playing Rock-Paper-Scissors.

On a side note, while I do love Rock-Paper-Scissors, next time someone challenges you to a game try playing what I have dubbed RPS X-Treme. This is a variant of the game where you put down the three real items in front of you and your opponent and grab at them and then attack the other person to the death. Hint: If you are dumb enough to grab paper, you are probably going to a hospital. Also, it takes a lot longer than one would expect to kill a man with only a rock. Be sure to allow plenty of time to both bludgeon your opponent to death, and then have time left to bury the body.

(AP Photo/Amy Sancetta)

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