The Sports Comedian - SportsComedian.com
by: TheSportsComedian
TheSportsComedian's posts about:
Chris Cooley  NFL > NFC East > Washington Redskins > Chris Cooley
more Chris Cooley posts
Page 1 of 1
My Day Too Late NFL Predictions
Nov 26, 2007 | 7:23AM | report this

I forgot to post this before the games ran Sunday, but since I am the consummate professional, I am still going to reveal them here. Some of them were slightly off:

  • The trailers for the new Stephen King movie The Mist look incredibly scary, almost as scary as looking up at the scoreboard and seeing yourselves losing by 30 points to the Cincinnati Bengals. Be afraid Titans, be very afraid, a loss like that isn't natural.
  • The David Carr era begins this week in Carolina. This guy is ready to bust out big time, I think he may even surpass the 90 yard mark.
  • If the NFL were a carnival, there would be a booth where for 2 dollars you can smack the Baltimore Ravens in the face. The latest contestant in this game? The San Diego Chargers.
  • How many commercials must there be of enormous truck testing in an unknown desert location. We get it, you test your trucks in futuristic ways, but don't want to show it in a laboratory because laboratories are not manly enough. There must be an entire desert state out west full of truck testing apparatus.
  • I keep waiting for some kids to jump out of a bowl of Trix cereal and say "Silly Cleveland, the playoffs are for real teams!"
  • Tom Coughlin is determined to win the bet he made over the offseason with his brother that he could have a more disappointing second-half this year than last.
  • Not since the 2000 Super Bowl has Trent been able to shout "You just got Dilfered ####es!" after a game. Thank god that line is back.
  • There are a lot of ads for anti-balding products. But men with little hair take heart, at least your head does not look like the disaster that is Chris Cooley's. Sometimes bald is better I suppose.
  • First place Denver can not lose to Chicago! That team is horrible! Look at their record! We are in first place damn it! Oh, that's right, we play in the AFC West.
  • Daunte Culpepper surprises everyone, by showing he's still in the NFL.
  • Maurice Jones-Drew can really pick up the hard yards, such as 10 carries for 10 yards. But man, the ones he gets are really hard.
  • What was the first thing analyzed on FOX's Thanksgiving Pre-Game Show? The new DVD and Blu-Ray release of Live Free Or Die Hard! Seriously, immediately after saying hello they pulled out multiple copies from under their desk and starting promoting them. Forget football, let's watch a 20 years too late sequel with a hero who's the slowest balder in history teamed up with that awesome Mac guy! Yipee-kay-yay Mother! (That line is a lot less awesome when edited for TV)
SportsComedian.com
Add a comment   categories: NFL, NFL, Trent Dilfer, Chris Cooley, Denver Broncos, Chicago Bears, Daunte Culpepper, Maurice Jones-Drew, New York Giants, Cleveland Browns, Baltimore Ravens, San Diego Chargers, David Carr, Carolina Panthers, Cincinnati Bengals, Tennessee Titans, TheSportsComedian, My Day Too Late NFL Predictions
 
« Continue reading The Sports Comedian - SportsComedian.com
Page 1 of 1
ABOUT ME


TheSportsComedian
Welcome to The Sports Comedian: The Worldwide Leader In Sports Satire! We wheel and deal in the very best fake comedy news. As a warning, all our stories are fake. The quotes, people, and places mentioned probably aren't real. The articles might be based on real events, but it's all just funny nonsense.

So join The Sports Comedian crew as we bring you the wild world of sports with a humorous touch. Also, check out our official site at

SPORTSCOM
EDIAN.com

and leave comments on articles, post on the boards, and vote in polls. Check back daily for the latest news updates!

Time stamping is done in Pacific Time.