After near riotous protests of the Chinese Olympic games earlier this year as the torch makes its way to Beijing, the world thought they had seen the worst of it already as the torch headed into actual China. But they forgot the most important person of all had yet to make his opinion known, that person was God. Apparently he is not a big fan of China's human rights record as he unleashed a massive earthquake on them in protest, killing thousands and disrupting the path where the torch was supposed to pass through. Police tried to subdue the protesting god by firing tear gas up into the sky, but the plan backfired when God's always tricky gravity send the gas cannisters back into the riot cops.

God has long been known as a #### to much of the world for unleashing tornadoes, tsunamis, hurricanes, and other disasters on people. "He's a very tough customer," said Religidouchologist Todd McFarlane. "He's full of double standards and trickery. Obviously he's mad about China's human rights, but then he made the Chinese in the first place. He says everyone has to die eventually, but Britney Spears gets to keep on living despite all the evidence that she shouldn't. It all makes no sense. But one thing is for certain, and that's that he will make his opinion known. We all remember when Rob Schneider said it didn't matter what the critics said about Deuce Bigalow 2: European Gigolo, the only review he wanted to know was that of God. Since then we're suffering from global warming and may all be dead within a century. I think he gave Rob his review, and deemed that no species that creates a movie such as that deserves to live."

Bill Blass, who has waged a personal war against god for the past 10 years shares a similar sentiment. "I have been at war with god for about 11 year now. He just used to do all kinds of stuff to me. Make me not get laid until I was 32, force me to eat Cool Ranch Doritos until I weighed 400 pounds, have me get fired from every job I've ever had for ridiculous stuff like "not showing up for a week" or "setting 3 different Office Max stores on fire". I just can't catch a break, so I blame him. I've spend every moment of every day trying to get back at him by destroying this world he built. Sometimes I throw trash on the ground, I just leave my car running all the time to create as much greenhouse gas as possible, and sometimes I just dig a hole in his earth and then don't fill it in. Crazy stuff, it's costing a lot of gas money. But I think I'm starting to win."

China says the games will carry on as planned, despite the tragic protest inside their own borders. It's unknown what more awaits what is turning out to be an epic torch carrying for this Summer's games.