A source close to Bill Parcells has informed TSC that Cam Cameron has been dismissed as coach of Miami today. Though names like Bill Cowher and Jason Garrett have been tossed around by other media outlets, TSC has learned that Parcells, never one to go conventional, plans to name his lucky Magic 8-ball the Dolphins next head coach. According to the source, its his lucky charm that he’s had since he was a kid, and its helped him through a lot of tough decisions in his career. And honestly, he thinks the Dolphins have a better shot of winning by relying on the wisdom of a cheap plastic toy than relying on Cam Cameron.

TSC was able to gain an exclusive interview with the next head coach of the Miami Dolphins and the first toy coach in league history:

TSC: “Bill Parcells has not wasted any time in making changes since being hired to run the Dolphins and fans are expecting immediate improvement. Do you think you will be able to live up to their expectations?”

Coach 8-Ball: “You May Rely On It”

TSC: “Wow, that’s a pretty confident response for someone with absolutely zero coaching experience. That must mean you think Coach Cameron is a complete ####?”

Coach 8-Ball: “It Is Certain”

TSC: Well alright then. Coach, this year the Dolphins started Trent Green and Cleo Lemon at QB, don’t those guys sound more like characters in the Clue board game?

Coach 8-Ball: “Signs Point to Yes”

TSC: I take it that means you’ll be heading in a different direction at QB, is it possible the Dolphins will go after Derek Anderson?

Coach 8-Ball: “Concentrate and Ask Again”

TSC: Um. . .okay. . .will the Dolphins try to sign Derek Anderson?

Coach 8-Ball: “Reply Hazy, Try Again”

TSC: Maybe we'll just move on. Some fans are hoping that the Dolphins will draft RB Darrin McFadden with the first pick, your thoughts?

Coach 8-Ball: “Outlook Not So Good”

TSC: So that means you’re going defense and Glen Dorsey?

Coach 8-Ball: “Don't Count On It”

TSC: “So will you entertain offers to trade away the first pick?”

Coach 8-Ball: “Better Not Tell You Now”

TSC: “Alright, well this interview is getting a little weird frankly, so let me just ask you in closing, what can you say to Dolphin fans everywhere who are expecting to make a playoff run in 2008?”

Coach 8-Ball: “My Sources Say No.”