I forgot to post this before the games ran Sunday, but since I am the consummate professional, I am still going to reveal them here. Some of them were slightly off:

• Sorry Washington, there is no way you are beating America's football analyst bandwagon team.
• Ha ha Jets! You guys get stuck with Brett Favre, who's so old he just can't keep it up for an entire game. I bet by the second quarter he's already gassed. You guys only wish you had Aaron Rodgers, someone so durable and so accurate.
• Remember when Larry Johnson was actually good? Even the horrid Denver defense is going to be able to shut him down.
• Seriously, what's with the lamp? You can only buy 99.9% of the official Steelers team merchandise released?! You sir, are not a fan.
• The Chargers have looked decent in recent weeks, but I just don't think they have an explosive enough offense to rally in the 4th quarter.
• It will be a tough task for the Rams stadium announcing crew to keep from laughing out loud when they announce Trent Green as their starting quarterback. It will be an even tougher task to keep them from offing themselves later in the season after watching a few more games of this team.
• Frank Caliendo's Dish Network commercials, just as hilarious as his TBS show featuring sketches with an astounding 8 impersonations, 4 of which are John Madden. A show so funny even TBS said it wasn't good enough to stay on their air.
• The Titans undefeated streak will end this week when they run into the unstoppable force that is Gus Frerotte.
• With Carson Palmer out with a last-minute injury, the Bengals hand the reigns over to Ryan Fitzpatrick from Harvard. At least with a guy that smart, they won't be making too many costly mistakes...
• Come on Jacksonville, have an exciting close game for once!
• Thank you Coors Light, finally a beer bottle that turns blue to tell us when it's cold, it was way too hard to tell by touching it with our hands.

This is a joke column we run weekly here at TSC and on CBSSports.com. Some people however fail to realize that it is in fact a joke, so to check out the hilarious responses check out THIS and THIS.

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Hello everyone, I want to announce here my very first video post. You all usually know me for fake sports news I post on here semi-regularly, but below is my first attempt at doing something visual. It's an interview with Brett Favre where he denies being tampered with by the Minnesota Vikings. It's pretty darn funny, in my humble opinion. Try to ignore the shoddy production values and let me know what you think! Be gentle, it's my first attempt....

Despite all the hooplah over Brett Favre's possible return to the team, it's been Green Bay's other quarterback who has impressed coaches so far in training camp. Aaron Rodgers has yet to be sacked, hit, or even touched so far in early pad-less practice sessions.

"Well, I don't want to say that I'm great, but I am doing pretty well so far," said Rodgers to reporters after practice Wednesday. "I don't know how I've managed to avoid every defender so far, but being awesome is just what I do. Even when holding that clipboard, I won the ESPY for most creative clipboard hold for the past 3 years. I mean, everyone has seen some of my innovative holds on YouTube, like 'Upside Down' or 'Hey, This Clipboard Is Sort Of Like A Hat'. That last one I patented. Everything just kind of comes naturally to me, and this quarterbacking thing is no problem. These defenses can't touch me. They even gave me this special red jersey, probably because I'm so awesome they don't want me confused with anyone else here."

"Well, yes, we may have told Aaron he got to wear a special magical jersey," said head coach Mike McCarthy. "He doesn't handle things like the truth very well. We've had to make up elaborate stories every year for why he had to be second string to Brett. We told him footballs were going to be replaced with clipboards by the league soon, and this was the best practice for the future. We told him Brett's family was being held on a speeding bus laden with explosives and if he didn't start that week, Dennis Hopper would blow them all up. I'm surprised that worked every week for a year, but it did. Any time he asked questions we just replaced the excuse with the plot of another Keanu Reeves movie. I mean, when he first got here we tried telling him that he had to actually pay for food in the cafeteria. He went off on one of our assistants about how he should just have things given to him because he was the quarterback and was "totally rad" or something like that. We just gave up then on the whole truth thing."

So with the red jersey, Rodgers continues to evade the defense who has been instructed not to touch or tackle him. "You know, I always thought I may have like an extra heart inside me," continued Rodgers. "But instead of pumping blood like my real one, it just pumps pure awesome throughout my veins. How else would I be able to look so good, and play such good football?"

His teammates are growing tired of his constant taunting about his skills. "If I ever see that #### in a dark alley, I'm going to cut out his "awesome heart" and make him eat it," said one defensive player who asked to remain nameless.

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The Brett Favre story took more twists and turns over the weekend as Favre was told by Packers GM Ted Thompson to stay away from their facilities until he could work something out. Favre told Thompson he has until Wednesday to work something out, or he will put in his reinstatement papers to the league. This story has gripped the nation over the past month and a half, with ESPN even launching their new channel, ESPN Favre yesterday. The new channel covers all the latest happenings in the world of Favre with specials, breaking news, interviews, and a nightly broadcast of their flagship program Favrecenter.

Universal Pictures has said to have acquired the rights to the Favre retirement story from Brett himself. Peter Jackson, director of Lord Of The Rings, has said to be signed on to adapt to story into an epic trilogy called "The Favre: Redemption: Battle For Shadow Tundra: This Time It's Personal." Jackson is excited about the project, not only because it is the longest titled movie of all time, but because it is a story with so much drama.

"I see this as one of the great stories of all time," said Jackson. "It's about a battered and worn avenger, who has given his all to his superiors. But then when he wants to come back for another year, after stringing them along for two straight offseasons and handing the Giants a trip to the Super Bowl in overtime, they for some unknown reason tell him no."

"The first film in the TFRBFST3IP saga will be about Favre as a boy, learning the art of quarterbacking from a wise but dangerous dark QB master, exiled from the NFL for throwing a pass so hard it took off a man's head. Brett has to battle the power of dark quarterbacking, to eventually destroy his mentor in a brutal punt, pass, and kick competition. I watched my 7 year old son do one of these last year, and let me tell you, they can get really intense."

"The second film is a story about his rise to power and his reign as King Lord Bishop of Wisconsin. There will be a lot of time spent in his famous ice castle, where he directs the wars against the various continental powers such as the Viking people to the North and the great Bears and Lions to the east. We're thinking up some epic battle scenes for this thing, imagine Chronicles Of Narnia meets Tron."

"The third film will focus on Favre's attempted comeback, and all the events that have happened recently. A young evil prince named Sir Rodgers will attempt to take his kingdom in a vicious coup. From a small village in Mississippi, Brett will attempt to rally the land to his side with the help o####ypsy woman named Gretta Van Sustren. I don't want to spoil the ending for you, but we're thinking about a lightsaber duel with the Arch-Demon Ted Thompson in the Training Fortress Of Infinity. This trilogy is going to be a wild ride, that's for sure."

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When Brett Favre went down in the second quarter with a seperated shoulder and injured elbow, the Packers had to do something they hadn't done in 17 years, find a replacement. Having Brett Favre as their QB has afforded the Packers some luxuries some other teams haven't had to deal with, namely having no backup and not even any trainers. "We didn't know what to do when he hit the turf," said head coach Mike McCarthy. "We haven't had a doctor on staff since I got here. Usually when someone gets injured Brett just goes over and tells them to play through it, and they do."

The confused Packers sent out their punter, who once took a botany class in junior college, to examine Favre as he lay on the field. He proceeded to poke him in different areas while asking "Does this hurt?" until he found out it was the shoulder and elbow that was bothering him. Luckily Favre was able to leave by walking off the field, as the Packers also have no cart to take players away. Brett usually is able to smack them in the face and tell them to "be a man" until they get up on their own.

After that Green Bay faced a tougher problem, how to get a replacement QB, seeing as they don't bother to keep any on the roster due to Favre being unhurtable. They appeared to find along-haired hippy on the street and put him in a fan's custom-made jersey with the last name Rodgers. But, the hippy-pirate played well in relief throwing for 200 yards, 1 TD, and no interceptions.

"I think we're going to actually sign this kid to a contract," said McCarthy. "We may have just found our quarterback of the future. Or maybe just someone who can get us pot and play hackey-sack in the parking lot after practices. Either way, it's a good find."

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