The Sports Comedian - SportsComedian.com
by: TheSportsComedian
Shawn Chacon Lives The Dream Of Many Astros Fans By Choking Out GM
Jun 27, 2008 | 6:18AM | report this

Many a young boy from Houston, Texas have dreamed about one day being in the big leagues. Being able to don the uniform of the Houston Astros, and be a part of their historic franchise. Being one of the few people close enough to be able to choke out the horrible general manager of the struggling 'Stros and get a measure of revenge for having to watch this team over the course of the last 2 years.

On Wednesday, pitcher Shawn Chacon got to live that dream when he tackled GM Ed Wade by the neck and threw him to the ground. Teammates and club officials cheered Chacon as he went to town on the neck of the scrawny executive. Reporters called it "the most fight I've seen out of anyone on this club in a long long time". Manager Cecil Cooper held his hand out and gave Chacon a thumbs down like the gladiators of Rome. Lance Berkman shouted "Finish Him". But before Chacon could unleash his finishing move, where he pulls out Wade's spine, he was pulled off by security.

Speaking to reporters after the game, Chacon talked about what it was like to get the opportunity of a lifetime. "This is just every kid's dream, bottom of the night, 2 lights out in a dim hallway, and you alone with the man responsible for putting together this pitching staff. I just tried to keep my excitement in-check as I viciously attacked him, but I was almost giddy with laughter. I remember playing in my dad's barn and pretending a scarecrow was Ed Wade's neck. I used to practice choking him out 4 or 5 times a day. And now I get the chance to come out here and get paid for choking him. I'm truly blessed, and I want to thank the Astros for this opportunity."

Shawn's triumphant story has inspired members of the community to make changes in their lives. One boy decided to go back to high school, which he had dropped out of several years before. An elderly man decided to start talking again to his brother, with whom he had not spoken to in 18 years. And a stock broker decided to finally choke out his wife, based on Chacon's thrilling performance. It was an exciting night for anyone who dreams of greatness.

SportsComedian.com

35 Comments | Add a comment   categories: MLB, MLB, Houston Astros, Shawn Chacon, The Sports Comedian, Lance Berkman, Ed Wade, Cecil Cooper
 
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TimCarr
Jun 27, 2008
7:05 AM
OUTSTANDING. VERY WELL DONE

vpribs
Jun 27, 2008
8:01 AM
Now, Chacon hopes to move to a big-market club - NY- CHI- LA with hopes of pummeling teh GMs there. Reach for the Stars!

HAMMER55
Jun 27, 2008
8:35 AM
Chacon, way to go! Us Phillie phans have been cleaning up his mess for years!!

5th group
Jun 27, 2008
8:35 AM
another hothead latin american player, it's not nice to choke your boss, he is done, with a 5.08 era, lousy pitcher!

canyondave
Jun 27, 2008
8:48 AM
This was FUNNY!.thanks. Keep up the good work.

deadted'sfrozenhead
Jun 27, 2008
9:00 AM
in my day we'd choke and beat management all the time. i once hammer punched tom yawkey's clavicle for farting next to my locker. and i can tell you that stink smelled better than the astros pitching staff. eh, who are we kidding, name one great thing that ever came out of texas.

altsys1
Jun 27, 2008
9:07 AM
Not even funny. Way to go dude, under the guise of comedy your telling kids its ok to think, feel and act out violently. So if anybody's boss pisses them off then go for their neck, it's ok Chacon did it and people laughed? Ya, society worked realy well when it was like that. Your a criminal and not very smart too.

Last edited by altsys1 on June 27th at 9:09 AM.

Slapshot2003
Jun 27, 2008
9:09 AM
To 5th group: FYI, he's not from latin America. He's a born American (from Alaska).

ballinmoose2005
Jun 27, 2008
9:30 AM
As a Phillies fan, I can attest to just how bad Ed Wade is and Chacon is certainly living the dream of many Phillie fans.

That said, you need to get some of your info right. This is Wade's first year in Houston so I'm not sure why Astro fans would have wanted to choke him for two years. Also, while Ed's already managed to get fleeced in trades a few times during his short tenure, this pitching staff was terribly constructed long before his arrival.

TheSportsComedian
Jun 27, 2008
9:34 AM
Uh, altsys1, I didn't advocate choking everyone, only bosses and one's nagging wife. I think we can all agree on that...

TheSportsComedian
Jun 27, 2008
9:35 AM
Yes, he is from Anchorage, not Latin America. But we all know those Alaskans and Eskimos are the most hot-headed in the world.

61mets
Jun 27, 2008
9:47 AM
My god, what a wimp! For all you wimps out there, if you call someone out and get your #### kicked – blame yourself. Back when I was in Navy, violence was a little more violent than it is today it took two to tango. Houston’s GM looks like a tired old man and any fight he walks away from really isn’t a fight. Move on pass the fake outrage and play ball.

dagreenmonster
Jun 27, 2008
9:51 AM
I fell off my bed laughing

sirchipsalot
Jun 27, 2008
10:05 AM
hilarious title..

L.A.SportsAuthority
Jun 27, 2008
10:10 AM
Hopefully Chacon comes to L.A. so he can choke little NED Coletti's p-o-r-n stache off

TheSportsComedian
Jun 27, 2008
10:38 AM
With Chacon on the free market, he can now continue the "Choking Executives & Sucking At Baseball World Tour". Where will he turn up next?

Puma2217
Jun 27, 2008
1:13 PM
Your an ####! This is one of the worst things that could happen to a team. Chacon and Wade are both to blame and not just Chacon should be punished. Ed Wade did not treat Shawn with any respect but still did not deserve to be attacked. Not a laughing matter.

jadewarlock
Jun 27, 2008
1:50 PM
I have to admit, it makes a great The Onion story. This is a sarcastic take on the situation at hand. Tongue-in-cheek mind you - though I hope the comedian does take care to not cross the line so he's not taken as too literal that he thinks this is really a funny matter (he is borderline here mind you).

On a serious note, I hope that this altercation wakes up McLane on how serious things have gone downhill for a once great team. Maybe not World Series quality - yet - but a fun one to watch.

It's this stuff that makes me realize I should hold onto my $7/$20/$26 or however much I can pay to go to a game until people wise up.

Last edited by jadewarlock on June 27th at 1:51 PM.

L.A.SportsAuthority
Jun 27, 2008
3:09 PM
PUMA2217 you are a grade A A-$-$Hole, If you can't take a joke go to the men's gymnastic boards. B*tch

IMADIC
Jun 27, 2008
3:28 PM
Puma you are a little ####. Grab some bench you goof and get a life. This #### was funny as hell.

MidniteCowboy
Jun 27, 2008
7:02 PM
"I remember playing in my dad's barn and pretending a scarecrow was Ed Wade's neck."

Priceless!

altsys1 and Puma2217 - You guys have strayed a little too far from the Womens Synchronized Swimming comment boards. Politically Correct and Comedy do not mix. Lighten up.

I'd like to see Chacon take the 4 hour drive north up I-45 and visit the Rangers' pitching coach!

I've also heard (unsubstaniated) rumors that the Detroit Lions fans are arranging a surprise meeting between Chacon and Matt Millen. Hmmm. We'll see.

Write on!

Couger Boss
Jun 27, 2008
10:25 PM
I applaud you that have shown the intestinal fortitude to condemn this shameful act. God bless you all. I pray the rest of you have a change of heart that this was in any way, the right thing to do. Violence in sports is not an answer. Bad example set. I would also ask folks to refrain from the racially charged "hotheaded Latin" comments. Shawn is a born-in-the-USA all American boy, born in Alaska and a graduate of of my former high school, Greeley Central in Greeley, Colorado. As far as the violence, this is about someone who should seek counseling as many of us have and should. I have followed Shawn through his career, and can tell you this violence is on the verge of becoming a pattern. The fact is that Shawn was charged with assault in Fort Collins, Co while a member of the Rockies. He had attacked a man with a beer bottle in a bar, but I believe he was able to plead out on that incident. Every action has a reaction. And now Shaun is without employment. I feel bad for this, but I definately do not condone his shameful actions. There are consequences.......

jon_464
Jun 27, 2008
11:23 PM
Dear Shawn Chacon:

Can you come up to Detroit and repeat that move on a certain clueless GM? Pretty please?

Signed,

Disgruntled And Pissed Off Lion Fan.

clevelandfan1776
Jun 28, 2008
8:19 AM
Ed Wade was a loser in Philly and he is a loser in Houston. Why do respected franchises insist on keeping guys like this around? Wade will get fired and will quickly get picked up by yet another storied franchise, only to continue what he does best, lose.

poeticadam
Jun 28, 2008
10:13 AM
Sounds good. I wonder if Chacon will react with such brute force next week when the Yankees sign him, give him a start against Boston, and following a 10 run in 1/3rd of an inning uprising, finds himself demanding Brian Cashman's next of kin.

But, as much as I consider such possibilities, bludgeoning a man would require an ability to run, which is completely against the pitcher's code, as Hankie Steinbrenner has reminded me with great eloquence.

That's just way too steeped in 1800's culture to believe, so I just imagine the Yankees signing Chacon and winning their next 1,378 games instead.

bleujfan
Jun 28, 2008
11:41 AM
Too bad he wasn't able to give Drayton a beat-down, as well.

SCHUTZENGEL1962
Jun 28, 2008
1:06 PM
why did he stop

con76
Jun 28, 2008
1:20 PM
ANY WORD FROM SPREE

HTownfan
Jun 28, 2008
1:36 PM
Thank you slapshot for correcting the 5th group in there rush to judgement,maybe we should do a little research before we decide to speak our minds.

cowboyhater999999
Jun 28, 2008
1:57 PM
Shawn Chacon is my hero!!!!!! Ed Wade is a weenie. He singlehandedly ruined baseball in Philly, for 10 years. I am still pi%^&d off about how he fired Larry Bowa 2 days before the 2004 season ended. It is likely Omar "I will fire my manager at 3am" Minaya and Ed Wade read the same "How to be a MLB GM for Dummies."

edclinchsaint
Jun 28, 2008
3:07 PM
Wow.

rrdeuce
Jun 30, 2008
1:25 AM
band of blogers,Shawn Chacon come to st louis reinvent yourself let dave duncan help you.help us choke the cubs brewers astros or anybody in our way

vjr003
Jun 30, 2008
7:09 AM
As a Phillies fan I feel that Shawn Chacon gave a new legitimate meaning to "choking the chicken!"

bubbB
Jun 30, 2008
10:10 AM
Do you think Chacon could come to NYC and take Hank Steinbrenner down? I really hope so. But for all of you, read his other posts and you will see how serious he is about his topics. Which is, not at all. Live on, SportsComedian!!

justanotherfan
Jun 30, 2008
10:38 AM
The Sports Comedian
Rumor has it that Chacon learnt the majority of his moves from watching Triple H in a Smackdown match. He was so intent on using those moves on Wade that he forgot to body slam him also.

Rumor now has it that Wade'll go Brokeback on his a## at some time in the not too distant future.

brokebackmountain





They'll be going camping in the offseason together. And then they'll both pitch their tents and have some fun in the woods with one another.



justan' aka tophatal ......

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