Multiple Felon Manuel Vargas was found not guilty on Wednesday by a California judge. Vargas, who has served prison time twice in the past for both attempted murder and selling narcotics, was extremely happy with the news. His lawyer cited rarely utilized defense in Federal court known as the "Manny Being Manny Defense" to refute the current rape allegations leveraged against him by the District Attorney.

"Look, these kinds of things are just what Manny does," said the lawyer in a courtroom transcript. "He gets a bad wrap sometimes, but he's just having fun out there. Raping, dealing, killing, yeah he does all that. But he does it with a smile on his face! Everyone knows now, that's just Manny being Manny!"

The victim recounted the horrible crime, and even told of Manny turning around to give a passer-by a high-five during the rape. But this did little to sway the judge, who ordered Vargas to be cleared of all charges. He said the high five was just another "Signature Manny Moment" and looked forward to more hilarious crimes in the future. After the verdict was read, Vargas pulled out a knife from his pocket and stabbed the bailiff in the chest, laughing as he did. The small crowd in attendance chuckled together and said in unison, "that's our Manny!"

SportsComedian.com
Discuss this article in the Forum!