The Dolphins have announced that the competition for their starting quarterback spot in the upcoming season will now be an open contest between anyone in the organization. Originally thought to be a two man race between John Beck, Josh McCown, and Chad Henne, new coach Tony Sparano says he doesn't want to limit it to just them. Beck especially is said to be very upset about the news, "This is completely unfair! How am I supposed to beat out all the great players we have in this organization? I saw our kicker throwing a ball around before practice, and he could toss it almost 20 yards! How can I compete with that? I also heard some people say the training facility janitor throws a mean roll of toilet paper. I'm so screwed. It says quarterback next to my name on the depth chart, that should be enough."

Sparano has released his preliminary depth chart for the quarterback position based on OTAs, and it is 100 spots deep. Henne was the only quarterback who managed to crack it. "I feel honored," said Henne. "To be among the 81st best quarterback in this entire organization is really saying something. We have some real athletic fry cooks who work in the stadium, I'm not ashamed to admit they are a little better than me." If the season began today, the starting quarterback for the Dolphins would be Frank, one of the 4 men who share duties in the cartoon dolphin mascot costume. Skyy, a cheerleader, and Manuel, one of the Spanish groundskeepers, round out the top 3 on the depth chart.