The Sports Comedian landed an exclusive interview with Pacman Jones, the troubled cornerback from the Tennessee Titans. The interview was made even more exciting when, the day of, he was charged with punching a woman in a strip club. We had to get answers, so we started by heading over to Pacman's house.

His house is modeled after the first strip club he went to, called XXX Nudism Sirens II, when he was 7 years old. It is a perfect replica, down to the neon side outside. We got to the door to find a bouncer who made us pay a 10 dollar cover to enter. We entered the establishment to find it a strange setting. There was no furniture, only scantily-clad women in positions that resembled furniture. We declined a seat on the couch, which was actually two strippers on all-fours kissing, and found Pacman in the kitchen.

"Hey guys, come on in. You're from that awesome website right?" We confirmed that we were. "Do you guys want a drink or something while I'm in here?" We declined the drink. "Well, there's actually a 2-drink minimum for this interview. Ice Squared told you that at the door, didn't he?" He had not told us anything. "I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to ask you to buy a couple 9 dollar beers or mixers, or this interview is over." We ordered an appletini, hoping he wouldn't have the ingredients to make one. But, he did. Although he next informed us that he didn't have an actual blender, so he called over one of his women and had her do a handstand. What happened next was truly shocking, as he proceeded to add the ingredients into a special place on her and then collected the mixture. Needless to say, we paid for but did not drink the beverages.

We next tried to ask Pacman about the accusations that he hit a woman in a strip club the night before, after being arrested twice for fights and one murder in strip clubs in the past. But he proved uncooperative and told us we needed to get some food. We hopped in the back of his Lincoln SUV and headed out to a restaurant. We were going to ask again about the incident, but he turned on his TV screens in the back seat for us with the movie Showgirls.

We arrived at our destination, a strip club called Rebecca's, and tried to go inside but Pacman was informed their buffet was not being served at this time. He proceeded to yell, call the bouncer a bunch of names, and then punch him in the face. We all ran back to his car, as the bouncer radioed for more help, and we drove away. We had to settle for a drive through strip club called Foxy Valerie's. We pulled up and he order two #### flashes and a through the window lap dance. We ordered a chicken sandwich. As he was getting his through the window lap dance we realized the interview was probably never going to actually happen, so we snuck out the back of the car and walked home.

It's unknown if the accusations about Pacman are true, but I wouldn't put it past him.