I forgot to post this before the games ran Sunday, but since I am the consummate professional, I am still going to reveal them here. Some of them were slightly off:

• The head coaches who are idiots record will be broken this weekend, as yet another coach decides to kick the ball to Devin Hester.
• Despite the claims of Bumblebee, after this horrible season there will be no Dolphins safe from the big Tuna.
• Unfrozen from the year 1997, a man named Todd Collins will lead his Redskins from the brink of elimination to the promise land of the playoffs in the brand new sci-fi series "Todd: In The Year 2000".
• Why does Best Buy feel the need to explain the punchlines of their jokes to us? That one where the guy is watching the neighbors through a telescope, and then his wife looks and they are making out. For some reason even though everyone gets the joke already he says "They weren't doing that a minute ago!". Or the one where the boss takes the guy's gift card and walks away and he yells "Hey, are you gonna give that back?" We already get it Best Buy, we're real people.
• Detroit will celebrate the fact they actually went an entire game with only 2 turnovers.
• Obviously with 2 quarters left in one of the worst seasons in NFL history, a great coaching mind like Cam Cameron Cameron would consider a quarterback change to his rookie in order to turn the season around
• Alright Cialis, we get it that your pill only gives us an erection when we want it, and not just a 3-hour hard-on like Viagra. But man, is that a whole lot less hilarious.
• Baltimore surprises everyone by narrowly beating the second stringers of Pittsburgh. Charlie Batch surprises everyone by showing he's not retired.
• Nothing makes me happier than seeing a guy who's dating Jessica Simpson fail to put together a good game week after week.
• The Arizona Cardinals will finish with their best record since 1998, although Kurt Warner still claims his 1998 Backstreet Boys debut record is better.
  
• People's Choice Awards? Really? If there's one group I don't trust to decide on movie awards it's the people at large. For reasons why, just look at the staggering opening day gross of National Treasure 2.