The Miami Times broke a story today about their main sports website editor being found in Mexico with no recollection of how he got there. Bob Thomas, the man in charge of the Miami Times sports section of their website has apparently been missing since mid-September, only nobody noticed. Neither the other Times employees nor the readers noticed that the site had not been updated in months. "We are all quite embarrassed by this incident," said Gerald Hayes, owner of the Times. "But in our defense, how were we to know the site wasn't being updated? The sports landscape here in Miami has been largely unchanged over the past few months, even years. We were actually looking into automating our sports department. We'd just find stories about teams losing and franchises falling apart and replace the names with Miami teams. Marlins, Heat, Dolphins, whatever that hockey team is that plays here. We all suck."

The page in question at the Times website has remained the same for the last several months. It's headline read "Miami Loses Big", with a picture of Trent Green being sacked. But many readers interviewed didn't realized that Trent Green wasn't their quarterback anymore. "Cleo Lemon? That's a real person? That sounds like a character from PeeWee's Playhouse or something. I refuse to believe he's our QB. But I also don't believe the Miami Dolphins are a real team, I think they're just a trick my friend Tom is playing on me," said a Miami resident and Times reader. "I also don't believe in the ocean. I think it's just blue space grass put here long ago by aliens. That's why there are all those weird creatures in it."

Many Miamians are too depressed about their team to even read actual articles about their latest losses. Hence the details about Miami's heartbreaking loss to Washington in overtime during week 1 never clued anyone into the page's outdatedness. The page also featured timeless stories such as "Marlins Dismantling Continues", "Shaq Out Of Shape, Heat In Trouble", and "Miami Hurricanes Underachieve".

Bob Thomas, the man in question, was found in Mexico and had no idea how he got there or what he had been doing. It could be extreme distress over the state of Miami sports, something that was his lively hood. Many Dolphins and Heat season ticket holders have gone missing over the past few weeks, many believe the lack of winning has driven them to the brink of insanity. But he was back at work Monday and updated the site for the first time in months, much to the relief of readers and co-workers. The site now features up-to-date stories such as "Miami Loses Huge","Heat Worst In League", "Trade Of Cabrera Only Beginning Of Marlins Dismantling".

SportsComedian.com
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