It is time sports fans, after 162(163 for some) regular season games, 6 playoff series, and many months o####rueling baseball season, the World Series is upon us. This year will be an epic David versus Goliath battle as the Colorado Rockies take on the Boston Red Sox. Rox versus Sox. It's a battle everyone has been dreaming about since they were children. I think we all remember putting on our socks for their first day of school and then looking out the window and seeing rocks in the front yard, and then wondering who would win if the two fought. Now that question can finally be answered.

But what does each team need to do in order to take home a world championship? We at The Sports Comedian break down the key to the game for each team:

1. Many analysts would say that the stacked middle part of the batting order has to get swinging well in order to pile on some runs. That middle includes David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, J.D. Drew, and Mike Lowell. But the real key there lies in the middle of that middle, Manny Ramirez. The career postseason home run leader has played great all playoffs, and the key to his great play is obviously...the fact that his hat can not, will not, better not, stay on during any play that requires movement. When the hat flies off, that's when the big plays happen. Luckily for Boston fans, that happens on every play. Evidence:
   
2. As the movie Major League taught us, you need a wild thing for a closer. Someone who dares to do something absolutely crazy when the opportunity arises, such as pour beer on the championship trophy, smoke a cigar on the field, wear insane inventor goggles, and riverdance. Yes, somewhere in the world Michael Flatley, Lord Of The Dance blessed this Red Sox team because Jonathan Papelbon knows how to dance a fine ####. He has now made Papelbon a Royal Vassel of the Dance, or something like that. I didn't pay much attention in history class. Evidence:
   
3. The baseball gods favor a team who is truly a team, a band of brothers who will do anything for and with each other. Nowhere is that more embodied than in the postgame hug, and the Red Sox have some of the most intense game winning hugs ever seen on the face of the earth, aside from the lost continent of Hugstralia of course. Look at the evidence below, and ask yourself if you've ever seen people more ready for a massive man-hug. Actually, Papelbon might be a little too ready there.
   

So to recap, the keys to the game for the Boston Red Sox are:

• Manny's helmet/hat must fly off
• Dance, drink, smoke, and wear Doc Brown goggles.
• Hugs, lots of hugs. Although stay away from Papelbon, he might like them too much.

Tomorrow we'll break down the keys for the Colorado Rockies. Stay tuned.

SportsComedian.com