Santini's Thoughts
by: TheGreatSantini
TheGreatSantini's Wonderlic Test
Feb 28, 2007 | 1:44PM | report this

All college players who enter the NFL Draft are put through a series of rigorous physical tests. They are also put to the test mentally by a test known as the Wonderlic Personnel Test, which is similar to an IQ test. I have actually found a copy of the test and would now like to share it with you. Fell free to answer as many questions as you can.

1. Look at the row of Super Bowls below. What number Super Bowl should come next?

Super Bowl XXXIV Super Bowl XXXV Super Bowl XXXVI Super Bowl XXXVII Super Bowl XXXVIII

a) XXXIX b) Those aren't numbers, they're letters, dumb #### c) 39 d) Screw the Super Bowl, I want to get paid ####

2. Assume the first two statements are true. Is the final one:

Bill Romanowski took steroids. Steroids can cause men to grow breasts. Bill Romanowski has man-boobs.

a) True b) False c) How the hell should I know d) Men have boobs? E) Are they the same size as Bill Parcell's

3. If you were drafted by Oakland, you would?

A) Wish I was never born B) Die a painful death C) Wait until Al Davis mummifies and then play for the Raiders

4. Which number is bigger?

A)30,000 B) 1,000,000 C) 10,000,000 D) My salary E) My illegitimate kids

5. ASK | AT • Do these words:

a) Have similar meanings b) Have contradictory meanings c) ####:; they're the same words, bro

6. Assume the first two statements are true. Is the final one:

Tom Brady throws footballs. Tom Brady was blessed by the Pope. Tom Brady's kid is the second coming of Jesus Christ.

a) True b) False c) Brady's a pimp d) Only one kid, I had more in high school

7. Marcus Vick runs a 4.37 and Maurice Clarett runs a 4.45. Who has a better chance of out-running the cops and evading arrest?

a) Vick b) Clarrett c) Do they let cops play football now d) It depends, which one has a gun

8. If Adam and Eve where the first humans, then

a) They did it right? B) Bobby Bowden is their kid c) Did Adam and Eve go up the hill to fetch a pail of water? No, I got my nursery rhymes mixed up.

9. If you were once the top NFL player in the game, but all of the sudden you retired to pursue other things, you would?

A) Go on a vh1 reality show B) there’s life after football? where’s that in my contract C) Be Chris Berman’s #### at ESPN

10. If it took you 5 hrs to get from New York to Florida, and then 3 hours to get from Florida to Arizona, how many hours would you spend on the plane?

A) Math and flying are two things I don't mess with B) 8 c) Why would I want to go to Arizona?
11. What's the best way to alienate fans?

a) Leave the field early b) Give less than 100% c) Write a Children's book on your alter ego D) NFL Fans are aliens? That's pretty scary, bro. That E.T. that #### don't fly with me

12. Assume the first two statements are true. The third one would be?

Peyton Manning Loves football. Peyton Manning won the Super Bowl. Eli Manning has never gotten laid.

A)True B) False C) I didn’t even have to read the first two, just seeing the words Eli Manning and getting laid in the same sentence is absolutely hilarious

13.What would you do if you were drafted by the Bengals?

a) Go out on the town with Chris Henry b) make it rain with some strippers c) see if cops really don't work in Cinncinatti

14. What’s the Wonderlic?

A) A dance move B) the famous bread company C) the test you just took D) I did that #### last night with my shorty.

12 Comments | Add a comment   categories: NFL, NCAA FB
 
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cuziffer
Feb 28, 2007
2:15 PM
good stuff.

i'm refuse to answer at this time, for my agent downloaded the wrong friggin test, and i am now unprepared for this ####.

i may be back at some future point after i've had time to go over this with my agent, lawyer, family, high school coach, guidance counselor and drew rosenhaus' brother (he's helping me write my autobiography, so he needs to go over this so i can blame him for misquoting me in the book).

DustyOutlaw
Feb 28, 2007
2:36 PM
Ok that's easily the funniest #### you ever wrote. I'm stealing this one. Already cut and pasted it to my Santini computer file as the number one funniest Santini column yet. LOLOLOL your archives are starting to look like a book of humor. (oh don't worry. In the unlikely event someone like me could find someone to actually pay you for it, I'll only expect 20% as your agent....and don't even try that old 10% for agents ####. That went out 30 years ago). Keep writing, I'll keep cutting and pasting....and laughing.

socalsportsfan
Feb 28, 2007
2:42 PM
Santini, excellent. I would change number four to say,

Which number is bigger for an NBA player.

If you get a chance check out my Mr. Incredible post.

Last edited by socalsportsfan on February 28th at 3:00 PM.

FloridaFlavor
Feb 28, 2007
2:45 PM
Haha that's funny stuff man.

TheGreatSantini
Feb 28, 2007
2:49 PM
Thanks a lot guys.

broncogirl
Feb 28, 2007
2:59 PM
I dont care what anybody says that #### was funny.

hoit
Feb 28, 2007
4:09 PM
Nice I especially liked the comment about Eli getting laid. Awkard for all involved in that situation.

ReverendRhythm
Feb 28, 2007
4:10 PM
How do I nominate this for post of the month?

Do you have Brock Berlin's number?

rivjo
Feb 28, 2007
9:01 PM
I think I just pulled a Vince Young on your wonderlic. Does that make me:

a) stupid
b) a legitimate star
c) both
d) neither

Funny, funny, ha ,ha!

FlyingPig
Mar 1, 2007
4:41 AM
Funny stuff Santini!!!

NorthSideFan
Mar 1, 2007
5:33 AM
Santini - great blog name mate. One of the first movies I ever saw that had an affect.

Nice post! This was damn funny. Between Eli getting laid, Parcells' man-boobs and the deification (or is defectation?)of Tom Brady's kid - great tongue in cheek humor.

Blog on mate.

bob260505
Mar 1, 2007
11:17 PM
great post

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TheGreatSantini
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