Where's the one place in the world where you can see a 67 year old referee race one of the best basketball players ever and then they share a passionate kiss? Where’s the one place in the world where you can see Shaq dancing with Dwight Howard and Lebron James? Where’s the one place in the world where Dwight Howard can put a sticker on the backboard at 12 feet 6 inches and then dunk, all in one jump and not even garner enough points to reach the finals? That all happened in Vegas saturday night. Oh yeah, and there was the 3 point contest and the skills challenge and the sophomore/rookie game but who really cares about that. All that matters was the race, the dance, and the dunk contest.
Let’s start with the race. #### Bavetta was all business, ready to take down Barkley with the crowd cheering him on. Charles Barkley's legendary confidence seemed shaken, could he face the humiliation if he where to lose to the old timer? As they were getting ready, #### had a hard time take his sweatpants off, a possible sign of nerves. But he finally managed to take them off and was ready to go. False start by Barkley, and then another false start by Barkley. He really did not want to lose. And then they were off and Barkley led the entire race. Half way through it, Bavetta takes a head first dive and then Barkley, back pedaling now, falls on his (expletive). At that single moment, every single slot machine in Las Vegas released all the money they had. The round mound of rebound should try that when he gambles.
Anyways, the race finishes and Barkley wins, Barkley wins. The two then share a passionate kiss. I wonder if Tim Hardaway now hates old people and black people? It’s really hard to call #### Bavetta a loser, though. He went through it with such good spirit, such class, and outright desire. He's 67 years old, and he willingly made a Pete Rose head first dive on a hardwood floor. I know there’s the game tonight, but it’s going to be really hard up staging that classic. That race was the Ali/Frazier of the 21st century. All I hope is that there’s a rematch.
Now to the slam dunk competition. If you didn’t see it, Dwight Howard looked like freaking superman and was robbed. He put a sticker on the backboard at 12 feet 6 inches and then dunk, all in one jump. It was incredible. But the #### judges don’t advance him to the final round. I'm guessing the all time great dunkers were so into themselves that they didn’t even notice how high the sticker was. Then when someone pointed it out to them, they got defensive, sort of like,
"I'm Mike Jordan, damn it, I said 8 at first and I meant 8. The simplicity of your game amuses me; bring me a plate of your finest meats and cheeses."
It was Nate Robinson vs. Gerald Green in the finals with Green winning. Nate Robinson just keeps getting more and more annoying. I have nothing against the guy, but he shouldn’t have won last year with his 100 attempts and he shouldn’t have been in the finals this year.
And the dance, oh the dance. I never knew Shaq was so agile and athletic, pulling off some moves that I’ve never seen before. Shaq also introduced his own slot machine line of shows which make absolutely no sense. I realize that Shaq is not everyone's cup of tea, but when he retires, who's going to do stuff like this? It seems like Shaq is making a concerted effort to pass the torch to Dwight Howard this weekend.
Y'know what? The more I think about it, you're right. Howard was robbed!
I mean, what is it that we've been begging and pleading for out of the dunk contest in recent years? Originality.
That sticker dunk was brilliant. That look on Dwight's face alone should have been enough to have him advance. TNT did a poor job of zooming in to see what it said on there.
But after watching the actual all-star game itself, is there any doubt in anyone's mind that Vince Carter is still the meanest dunker in the league?
I just found a dunk that could have topped Dwight's. Here's the story.
Vegas Confidential has learned the 5-foot-7 New York Knicks Nate Robinson was at Western High School's gym Friday practicing a routine in which he leaped over a Playboy Bunny dealer who was seated at a blackjack table. Robinson won the title last year by leaping over Spud Webb, who stood near the freethrow line. But the Bunny stunt won't happen: The Knicks nixed it for safety reasons. A group of baseball players from Western who watched the practice came away with the story of a lifetime.
Safety reasons, my ####. Exactly what could happen here, Nate accidentally teabagging the young lady? Come on. It's not like this girl has never been teabagged before. The man cleared a standing Spud Webb last year, surely he can elevate over a seated trollop.
Last edited by TheGreatSantini on February 19th at 2:24 PM.
A more likely explanation is that Charles Barkley was at that same blackjack table and noone in their right mind would jump over that bloated, behemoth.
