I posted this entry a couple months or so ago on another site and I am re-posting it here. I know it isnt NASCAR and I'll prolly be in trouble for it but I dont have time to write a blog tonight. I've been asked by a friend of the male persuasion to go to a local watering hole and see what kind of trouble we can get into. Knowing him it may be quite a lot so if you dont see me for awhile it may be because I'm on a Thelma and Louis type road trip!! LMAO
Many have asked me why I'm still single at my age. I thought I'd share just one of the infinate reasons...Enjoy!
Well sit down folks and grab a cuppa cawfee because this is gonna be a lonnnnng one. I thought I would share with you some stories about what its like to be a single gal wading through the rough waters of the dating game. This installation is the story of my one and only foray into blind dating.
So a few years ago I was living in MyBigCity. I was about six months out of a bad relationship and started feeling like maybe it was time to put my hook back in the water so to speak. I was working full time and going to school at night so needless to say my social life was pretty much non-existent. After much humming and hawing I decided to join a personals dating site. After emailing back and forth with a few people that I just didn’t click with I met someone who was pretty interesting. He was close to my age, had just moved from AnotherBigCity and was a paleontologist. Too cool! We emailed for a bit and I was feeling comfortable enough to give him my phone number so we could arrange to meet face to face.
He called me up and we chatted for a bit and decided to go out for dinner and a movie the next night. The next morning he gave me a quick call to ask how I would be dressing that evening; would it be casual, dressy cas etc so he could do likewise. I told him I’d be wearing something dressy cas like a short skirt and a silk t-shirt. I was thinking..wow..someone who thinks about his appearance!! Then he asks me if I would mind driving as he had sold his car when he moved and hadn’t bought a new one yet. I thought it was kinda odd that he didn’t bring his car with him as it’s only about a 10-hour drive from AnotherBigCity to MyBigCity but OK..whatever. I said I’d drive..no problem.
So the appropriate hour rolls around and off I go to pick up Mr. Dino-man. He lived in an older part of town but his apartment complex looked well kept so I didn’t have any alarm bells ringing as I pulled up and parked. I got out and went to the door and rang the buzzer for his apartment. He said he’d be right down. OK..big breath..here we go. Down the stairs bounced a guy. I thought it couldn’t possibly be him..it must just be someone else who lived in the building. Mr. Dino-man was 6’3, 200 lbs, handsome, snazzy dresser etc etc. THIS guy was 5’10 (barely) and 220..not so handsome, and his clothes….well his pants were a yellowish green and had that sheen that only comes from not being washed in a VERY long time . He was wearing some kind of indistinguishable t-shirt underneath – OMG – one of those Corona hoodies that looked like they were woven out of straw. You remember those I know you do! He smiled and opened the door and said ‘Kendra?”. I was stunned. It was my guy! Now what do I do? I should have just said “God NO” and walked away but I grit my teeth and smiled and led him to the car. Off we go.
The movie we wanted to see was right downtown so I headed in that direction, trying to make interesting small talk as we went. All of a sudden this guy picks up my wallet/pocketbook from the dash of the car and starts rifling through it!! OMFG! I don’t know if you guys know this but it is a definite NO NO to go through a woman’s purse…especially a woman you hardly know!!!!! I was completely flabbergasted and when he pulled a couple 20’s out and started waving them around joking about keeping them I almost went postal on his head. We were crossing the river at that time and I tell ya if we’d been in the outside lane I’d have opened the door and pushed him out over the railing!!!! Anyway, he finally caught on that I was less than happy and settled back for some more, by now, very stilted small talk.
We get downtown and find a place to park within almost striking distance of the theatre. I figured I could maintain long enough to get through the movie and then take him home. So we get in line and as we are slowly making our way up to the ticket booth he comes out with “ I’ll pay for the movie or for dinner but I wont pay for both” . Holy hell Batman how do I get myself into these things???? I say fine, I will just pay for myself, don’t worry about it. Once inside I make a beeline for our theatre as I can’t wait to get to where I don’t have to talk or look at this #### for a whole 2 hours..but NOOOO…####knutz has to get in line for candy. So after he’s got his Mega-sized coke and pack of Jr. Mints..(yes I still think of that Seinfeld episode) we make it inside. Of course by now the previews are over and the movie has started and we have to feel our way into a couple of seat. Oh well..less time till its over… Everything’s great now..the movie’s ok and I can ignore ####knutz…UNTILLLLLLLLLL……
BOOM! Blindsided by ####knutz laying a big wet kiss on me!!! Not only is this just icky cos he’s gross and by now I hate him…but he’s trying to stuff some half chewed Jr. Mints into my mouth with his tongue…OH MY #### GOOD GAWWWWWD!!! I push him away and start wiping my tongue with a napkin..freaking out and yelling ‘Are you bloody INSANE???”. Needless to say I stormed out of the theatre…ready to just go home and leave Mr. ####knutz on his own!!!! But he follows me out..Apologizing and whining all the way back to the car. So ok FINE! I’ll take you home!! So after paying the parking attendant the equivalent of half a month’s pay to leave the parking arcade..(and yes you guessed it, no offer from ####knutz to throw in a couple bucks), I head back to his place.
Now the whining begins again…we never ate dinner..could we please at least go through a drive through and pick something up?..and can we stop at work? I want to show you something..whine whine #### moan. So fine..I take him through a Taco Bell drive through…roflmao …and OK ill stop at his work. It might be a night saver to see some really cool fossils or something. So we stop at his work and inside we go. And guess what?? THERES NO FOSSILS!! Surprise! (Yeah I was amazed too…I mean he’d been soooo honest so far… ) He wasn’t a paleontologist by a long shot. He made tacky tourist type jewelry out of pretty #### rocks…
So long story short…and yes I know Its been a long one! I took ####knutz home…he did ask me if I wanted to come up and see his Parrot..PARROT?? I didn’t even ask…I don’t wanna know!!!
That just goes to show you. If it ain't one thing, it is another.
In todays society, you do a back ground check, credit check, employment check, photos from childhood and present, as well as testimonials from his pastor, friends, former dates, and mother. Oh yes a complete physical too. Especially if it is a blind date.
I gave this advice to my 2 daughters ( about your age) too. They didn't listen.For some reason they usually end up with some wierd looking boy friends.
I always asked them to marry rich guys when they were young so they could support us in our old age. Didn't happen. They usually supported the wierd guys they dated.
Best advice is to go to a class reunion and meet up with some of your old school sweethearts if they are still single. Couple of my long time friends did that and are happily married now. Not that you want to get married now.
Wow! What a piece of work. I only went on one blind date. I was only 19 or 20 at the time. The girl didn't live up to her billing. It's much better to meet someone through friends at a party or cookout type affair. No pressure of being alone with a stranger. Easier to leave if you want to also.
What a painful, er I mean hilarious story. Thank you for not being any more specific in terms of describing any details about where this happened and who the loser was. I appreciate, I mean, I’m sure he appreciates that you have hidden my, I mean, his identity as full disclosure would probably mean I, er he, would never, ever get another date, blind or otherwise.
HR13 aka Bleepknutz :-)
P.S. Love the music - and you thought we had absolutely nothing in common - LMAO!!!
Last edited by HoosierRacer13 on May 17th at 7:51 AM.
photo - luckily this happened about 10 years ago and believe me I learned my lesson. My parents also told me to marry rich as it was as easy to love a rich one as it was to love a poor one..lol. Now I just leave it to the fates. I've still met some losers but at least no one's stuffed Jr Mints down my throat! I think I'm just gonna stay single...lol.
jon - the guy was over the top on the loser scale. And I know not all guys are like him..thank God!
hanny - I was in my 20's too. Young and dumb as they say..lol
yourhoosierness - I tried to keep it vague to protect you errrr him! Great tune. I rock...lol.
jon - LMAO!!!!!!!!!! Only thing wrong with that is he would have been about 10 years old!
I'm 36, single and a professional. I love writing, love to blog and am a huge huge fan of NASCAR. If ya cant already tell by the prevailing orange theme...Smoke 's the man! But I like a lot of other drivers and some of their fans! If you're passionate about this sport then let's get at it! I'm here to have fun, have some great debates and to learn. I'm not interested in 'Hooking up", nor am I interested in slinging insults with a bunch of haters. I'f thats your thing then just please move along. Otherwise stick around and lets talk NASCAR!
