A few days ago over on Lisa's Blog, the subject of "pick-up" lines came up in the comments section. While it's arguable that this subject might have nuthin' to do with "Sport's", there might be plenty of ya out there that may disagree. I mean, I could make a case for even using "pick-up" lines as a form of equipment to go into battle with the opponent....you know, kinda like cologne, attire, money, etc...In other word's...It's kinda hard to play baseball without a glove, bat or ball...There are some thingz ya jus' gotta have to even the playing field or to get an edge.
Now, before I get into this, Da Stevo wants you to understand that I don't necessarily consider myself a "ladies man" or any kind of authority on this age-old pastime...Like most of you, I've had good nights and bad in this arena...I ain't no lothario and these are just random observations and thassall...
THINGS NOT TO DO:
1) Maann, If you're dousin' yerself with "Brut", "English Leather", or "British Sterling" or "Hai-Karate"...this jus' aint fer you...Go play intramurals, brutha..
2) Never git sh_t faced drunk...It's anythang but "cool"...If ya can't recognize when to "just say no"...You'll be hearin' that word all night long.
3) Never go on and on 'bout yerself without any regard for her and don't dominate the conversation..remember, if she's talkin' to ya at all, you may not be in scorin' position but at least yer at bat....Time to focus onda pitch..
4) Never let "dead air" linger..Bein' a former radio DJ, I can tellya it's a killer..
5) Never go on and on about "how fine" she is right offda bat. That sorta thing can be saved for later on in the conversation...'sides...if she is that fine, you can bet that your over eager assessment of her unparalleled beauty might be a li'l unoriginal..she's heard it and she knows it...Try bein' different..you know...like mebbe "yourself"...Helluva concept, ainnit?
6) Here's one that may surpriseya: Never go into a bar thinkin', " I'm gonna pick-up sumpthin' tonight..." Instead, try thinkin', "Maan, I'm gonna have a good time in here.."..One common denominator that everyone in the place has, is just that...If you and a buddy, or just you by yerself are smilin' and laffin' and appear to be jus' havin' fun..before you know it, you'll be surrounded by people, without even gittin' up from yer table or off yer barstool...you'll own the place and instead of "pick-up" lines, ya might even find yerself in some genuine conversations...people in bars are drawn to good times and good people...If they weren't, they'd still be at home where the drinkin's cheaper...Btw, regardless of whether or not you picked-up sumpthin or not, or Heaven forbid, you were picked-up (always the best deal), you will have achieved yer goal of havin' a good time...That innitself, makes you a winner.
7) Never use pick-up lines unless you have the ability to charm yer way out of 'em... If you do use one and it works, you also better be able to keep whatever charming, witty, intelligent thing you said to her goin' so at least she thinks you had the snap to make it your line..insteada one you borrowed..If the pick-up line worked forya you better be able to back it up with stuff that she see's as original the rest of the night...
8) Breakin' wind is rarely a plus...Go with me on this'un...Motto: "flatulance--jus' don't cut it.".
OK....that's enuff fer today...I was kinda free-formin' this blog from the git-go anyhow...kinda like when I useta go into singles bars...heh heh...and always remember Da Stevo's Credo:
" It's All BS....But...There izza sucha thang az "GOOD" BS..."
(You ladies also needta take inta consideration that ifya fall ferra bad-line of rap, it may say more 'bout you than him. The exception to that might be that a lottaya jus' ain't happy lessya got sumpthin' ya need to fix... That's one ofda reason's why ladies love outlaws, as they say...and you'll find more than yer fair-share of fixer-uppers in dem places..)
Next time, in another segment, I might tellya 'bout the line I used on my lady, twenty years ago...Caveat: It's for Big Leaguers only...lol
1. never say, your nicer than my wife...
2. never say, what i meant is, i like big women.
3. never, the first time meating someone, bring up the 3-way
4.never and i mean NEVER say "look i'l pay you for it, what the f@#$.
5. always compliment the butt, one time and one time only!
6. always lie when they ask if you like cats.
7. never say, thats not what you say in my fantasies?
8. never ask, so, where do you stand on cookin and cleanin
9. never ask, So, you think your friend would do me?
10.never tell em what you realy make!!
I go to the bar to have a couple drinks and people watch.
The latter is far more fun.
As closing time approaches and shots are ordered, peeps think they're more handsome/hot, funnier and sexier than in reality.
blue...I gotta best friend that's a Dean/Professor at NMSU and I told him that I thought I wuz smarter when I'm drinkin'..Surprisingly, he told me that I wuz "on accounta since I wuz drinkin' allda time, I never really had the opportunity to learn nuthin' sober.."
As a young woman who enjoys a club now and then I know what I think and for me most of this is absolutely right.
Here are my hints.
The biggest hint I can give revolves around the one thing disagree with.
Clubs are loud. Don't talk constantly. I can't hear what you're saying half the time. Dead air is preferable to you talking constantly and making me forget everything going on except you and I don't know you. I'll brush you off just to get a chance to dance with someone else. I go to dance. Ask me.
Dancing tips.
Don't ask me to slow dance first dance. Most of us I know like to slow dance close and sexy with a guy and I won't do that first dance.
You're in the wrong club if you think I'm going to bump and grind with a guy I just met. Dancing is sexy but it's not a lap dance. Nobody anywhere I go does.
Don't get on the floor and try to be the center of attention. Those that do are usually embarassing dancers. I'm good but not a professional and while I dance with you I'm getting messages from your body language. If you're flopping around like a chicken and flailing your arms you're probably a total geek. I'm looking at you. Why are you spending the entire dance looking at yourself?
2. Brush your teeth and use mouthwash before coming out. A stinky breath guy, and smokers are stinky breath, turns most girls off for sure.
3. Smile.
4. Touch me, don't grope me. A brush of your hand on my arm can send electricity through me. "Are you going to hook a brother up" or "You gonna cut me off some" definately involves a cut off.
5.) If I like you. You'll know it. Ask for my phone number. I'm not a ####, I don't just sleep around with every guy I dance with. If I like you and want to see more of you tonight, I'll let you know. If you're just here to get laid I have to assume I'm just one of many who would be ok for you but you're too cheap to go to outcall so you're here.
Almost everything Steve said is right but here's why for a couple of important things.
Drunks are creepy. A drunk man will usually fight and a drunk who fights will almost always hit women in my view. If you're not mature enough to be able to have fun without getting sloppy drunk then you're not mature enough for me and I'm only 22.
If you "get lucky" one of two things have happened. You are such a loser that you've gravitated to the lowest slimiest ####'s in the place and I don't know what kind of disease you may have.
Or, you may have talked to me (or the girl of your choice over a few weeks) a few times, seemed like a nice guy who is capable of meeting me at the club and having fun without putting sex as the only reason you're here and I found myself really attracted to you and I picked you up.
Nique..."Clubs are loud. Don't talk constantly. I can't hear what you're saying half the time. Dead air is preferable to you talking constantly and making me forget everything going on except you and I don't know you..."
Thanx for yer input...gotta have it...If loud music, or wanting to dance is the reason for your not wanting someone to continue talkin' to ya..then, I think it's safe to say that "dead air" isn't even an issue..I'm talkin' bout the times when there is silence...One more thing that's imperative is genuine "eye contact", as well, and I've found out that if you have it, then you're ok and you'll also be able to read what a person wants from you..and..what they don't...Eye contact can pretty much tell you what the person your talkin' to wants...and unless yer jus' stoopid...recognizing what THEY want out of the evening, is paramount...
Dayyammmnn...I wrote that last comment after seein' yer first one...good to know that you got a lot worthwhile to say and I wanna get into it with ya in here...but I've just been asked to dance...lol...don't run off, but that don't meanya gotta wait either...lol
nique..."...seemed like a nice guy who is capable of meeting me at the club and having fun without putting sex as the only reason you're here.."
That's why I put #6 up there...
(The bad thing 'bout this forum is, is that with cuttin' and pastin' yer statements and then comin' back witha response is makin' me come across as "UltraMega"...it ain't my style...lol
Nique..."5.) If I like you. You'll know it. Ask for my phone number.."
Not me, I'll giveya mine and you can decide whether or not I'm worth callin', this day and time you don't EVEN need to be givin' ANYONE yer number on the initial meeting...and if we decided to go out...I'd insist thatya meet me somewhere in yer own car...that way..you'd have the option of being in control...and...so would I...There's always the chance that meeting inna different ambience might make us look at each other differently...always have your own way out, if that's the case..
Last edited by StevoinHTown on May 4th at 5:44 PM.
you're pretty sexy Stevo. That's good. Giving me your number. I'll give you mine as well because if you change your mind and I'm blocked or vice versa then we know without the awkardness.
We probably have regional differences and I don't mean to seem stuck up but it's dangerous out there right now. We have a guy whose drugging women in bars in my part of Tulsa and we have a serial killer working bars right now. Women have to be careful.
Sometimes people are sexy for other reasons than maybe just how they look or you're hitting on them and when a guy is being sexy and you know you can trust him to be mature enough to know you're not hitting on him for sex (not many guys I've met are but some are) then they need to be told they're sexy.
We all do. It doesn't hurt to make someone feel better by telling them the truth and we all want to feel sexy don't we?
Stevo...what a great blog, and pick-up lines are a sport! By the way, your line of, "can i borrow a dime to call my mom and tell her I met the girl of my dreams" is about as good as it gets. Cute, adorable, and non-threatening.
Steve, great post. The approach is the most important. For me, I approach her with a goal in mind, such as getting to know her. Ask her open-ended and nonthreatening questions to get her to talk about herself. Then when the time comes, tease her in a joking manner. (You have to know when to tease her and when not to tease her) Show a funny side, and a sincere side. Keep her guessing.
Here's one forya...One time i was talkin' to a lady and I had 3 guy friends with me...They were sittin' at the table and I bet 'em I could get her number in less than 5 minnits...She wuzza fox, btw...
I walked up to her and said:
"Look, I gotta bet with those 3 guys that I could get yer phone number...Here's what I'd like you to do...Write yer phone number on this card withyer name onnit...Now, it can be a fake number,or even a fake name, notta big deal...I'll leave it up to you.."
She accommodated me and I was "The Man" the rest of the night...
Btw...She wrote down her REAL number...I win either way...
Took less than 2 minutes..
Last edited by StevoinHTown on May 5th at 7:36 AM.
THANKS JOKER FOR CLEARING UP THE FACT IM A GUY!!!! PEOPLE NEED CLASSES???? KELLY (SCOTT)!!!!! many guys named kelly!!!!! hey on a funny note though i was suppose to be a girl, after my parents had a boy first!!!!
The best pick up line I ever heard was similar. This nice looking boy came over and said I'm a little shy and usually don't have the nerve to come up and ask girls who look like you to dance and my friends say I wouldn't have the nerve to ask you but I been looking at you like some perv for the past hour and can't look at anyone else. Would you dance with me?
I said yes and kept sneaking glances at his friends and they were shocked (he was the nicest looking one of his crew) so after the dance I drug him in the booth with me and gave him about a two minute kiss. His friends freaked and all came over and asked me to dance and I told them all no.
SteveoinHTown My boys always let me know that I can get off easy. As they say I use my English accent to its full potential. .......I see it as being nothing wrong if you use the following. 'I'm English with a bit of the ol' colloquialism.
T'is better to ride on my polo pony than not to have ridden on anyone else's at all. Is she's then game then I'm game. That's when I usually have 'em rub down my mallet and balls.
Authentic polo mallet ........
Polo balls ..........
My mallet and balls however are decidedly much more elegant to look at and to play with. And that's what I end up telling 'em.
rampant' aka tophatal ........
Last edited by rampantfanatic on May 5th at 9:00 AM.
Yeah top (ramp)...In this country, havin' an English accent is almost like cheatin' in a bar..It gives you an instant "difference" and I DO know that wimmin' in Texas love it...
Useta go to Country-Western bars a lot and even tho' I'm 'bout as country as I dunno..say Barry Gibb...the fact that I came across differently than "country" prob'ly helped...My lady always told me that I was the only guy that she met that could say words with at least three syllables inda place and that didn't hurt me none...
Ya gotta pick-yer spots...and it also didn't hurt that I wuz pretty good at rising, or in some cases, falling to the level of my competition..lol..My voice and personality wuz pretty much all I had...ya gotta deal witda cards yer dealt..
six figure "...They have discovered the internet and the popularity of on line dating. It's much easier to be someone you aren't on line..."
I agree withya..and I guessya could look at it a cupla ways..
If a person is bein' someone they ain't on-line, chances are that they would be the same in real-life...anybody that gets on-line and takes a person's dialogue az gospel and is naive enough to believe it without checkin' em out thoroughly, probl'y is a loser...Takin' a lotta inter-action on the net too seriously is pretty dangerous..I don't talk "personal" in public forums, such as these...I use it as fun...that's it..
There are some people that have fewer options than others as far as communicating with the opposite sex and I guess the net gives them an option...It's also inexpensive...lol
On-line dating wouldn't be my choice, but you might be surprised at some of the people that do it and because of their dialogue..it might aid them in their confidence to get into the real-world...kinda ramblin' here but either way..the net IZ a form of communication and, the way I see it that's a good thang..
Ahh hell, six..a lotta the nuances onda net or on-line aren't really all that different than real-life...as in anything..It depends on who ya are..
"Convenience" might be the biggest plus..I'm jus' guessin'..never did it...
For some reason, Six...I'm thinkin' thatta guy or girl that did or duz OK in the real-world in the dating/meeting arena, would prob'ly fare OK with on-line dating...It's all-about good BS..ya usually don't have that lest ya been around..
I'm a life-long native of the GREAT COUNTRY of TEXAS. Been a sports fan all my life. I can be serious, irreverent, humorous and sometimes foolish on a lotta my "takes". Never mean any malice to anyone and that's why I have an affinity for "blogging". Cuz, after all, yuh can't whack me upside the head if I change my mind....
Caveat:
I drink beer.
.
.
