The passage of time in the NFL is marked by decades and the teams that tower over the rest of the field. Various teams win titles throughout each decade, but one team always wins the most championships and stands out as the Team of the Decade.
This is the way it’s been ever since the Green Bay Packers rolled to five NFL titles (including wins in the first two Super Bowls) in the 1960s. The Pittsburgh Steelers won four Super Bowls in the ‘70s, the San Francisco 49ers won four Super Bowls in the ‘80s, and the Dallas Cowboys won three Super Bowls in the ‘90s.
With three Super Bowls remaining in this decade (the ‘00s?), the Patriots are poised to claim the latest Team of the Decade designation. If they win this Sunday they will have four Super Bowl titles this decade. The most Super Bowl wins any other team has is one. Even if they were to somehow lose this weekend, only the Colts or Steelers would have a chance of matching their three titles and possessing a decade-long cache of winning. (Sorry, but even if the Ravens or Buccaneers win the next two Super Bowls, or the Giants win the next three, none of them could possibly be considered Team of the Decade.)
That means there’s even more pressure on the Patriots this Sunday. A win gives them the Super Bowl title, the first 19-0 season in NFL history, and Team of the Decade status.
Let’s take a look at the curriculum vitae for each Team of the Decade.
Green Bay Packers (1960s)
From 1960 through 1969, the Green Bay Packers were the class of the NFL. They had just one losing season (1968, the year after head coach Vince Lombardi stepped down) and won their division six times. The Packers won five of the six NFL Championship Games they played, and won the first two Super Bowls in NFL history. The Packers defined what the NFL was all about during the early years.
Best team of the decade: 1962. The ’62 Packers went 13-1, led the league in both offense and defense, outscored their opponents 415-148, and won the NFL Championship on the road, defeating the New York Giants 16-7.
Worst loss of the decade: The 1960 NFL Championship Game. Taking a 13-10 in the 4th quarter, the Eagles returned the ensuing kickoff 58 yards and eventually took a 17-13 lead. The Packers were stopped on the 8-yard line as time expired. The loss was their first (and only) postseason loss under Lombardi.
Defining games of the decade: Super Bowl I (a 35-10 thrashing of the upstart AFL Kansas City Chiefs) and the 1967 NFL Championship Game (the “Ice Bowl,” a 21-17 win over the Dallas Cowboys in sub-zero weather).
If not for the Packers, the Team of the Decade might have been: The Cleveland Browns. The Browns won five division titles in the ‘60s and took home the 1964 NFL Championship. They lost the 1965 Championship to Green Bay and did not return to the big game for the rest of the decade.
Pittsburgh Steelers (1970s)
Head coach Chuck Noll turned the Steelers from a 1-13 team in 1969 into the best team of the ‘70s. They had just two losing seasons (1970 and 1971), won their division eight years in a row, won four of the six AFC Championship Games they played, and won four Super Bowls. The Steel Curtain defense remains one of the iconic symbols of the NFL.
Best team of the decade: 1978. The ’78 Steelers went 14-2, led the league in defense, and had the 5th best offense. They won their first two playoff games by a combined score of 67-15 before defeating the Dallas Cowboys 35-31 in the Super Bowl.
Worst loss of the decade: The 1976 AFC Championship Game. Many people believe that Pittsburgh’s best team of the ‘70s was the ’76 edition. For the third straight year they played the Oakland Raiders in the Championship game, but with running backs Franco Harris and Rocky Bleier (who had combined for over 2,000 yards in the regular season) both out with injuries, the Raiders won 24-7 to advance to the Super Bowl.
Defining games of the decade: 1972 playoff victory over Oakland (that game that featured the “Immaculate Reception”) and Super Bowl XIII (their 35-31 win over Dallas is considered by many to be the best Super Bowl game of all time).
If not for the Steelers, the Team of the Decade might have been: The Oakland Raiders. The Raiders had 10 straight winning seasons under head coach John Madden in the ‘70s, but had just one Super Bowl win to show for their efforts. The Raiders lost playoff games to the Steelers three times in the ‘70s, with the Steelers winning Super Bowl titles twice after knocking off the Raiders in the AFC Championship game.
San Francisco 49ers (1980s)
Bill Walsh took over a 2-14 team in 1978 and turned the 49ers into one of the league’s most respected and envied franchises. The 49ers had just two losing seasons (1980 and 1982), won their division seven times, made the playoffs eight times, won four of the five NFC Championship Games they played, and won four Super Bowls. At the end of their run, Bill Walsh, quarterback Joe Montana, and wide receiver Jerry Rice were all considered with the best that ever coached and played the game.
Best team of the decade: 1984. The ’84 San Francisco 49ers went 15-1 with the league’s best defense and 2nd-best offense (second only to Dan Marino’s record-setting Dolphins). They won their first two playoff games by a combined score of 44-10 before defeating Marino’s Dolphins 38-16 in the Super Bowl.
Worst loss of the decade: The 1983 NFC Championship Game. Although the 49ers only went 10-6 in 1983, they were one win away from the Super Bowl when they traveled to Washington to take on the Redskins. Trailing 21-0 in the 4th quarter, the 49ers scored three quick touchdowns and tied the game 21-21 with less than seven minutes to play. But the Redskins—aided by a controversial pass interference call—marched 78 yards to set up kicker Mark Moseley for a 25-yard game-winning field goal. Moseley—who had missed four field goals throughout the game—nailed this one and sent the Redskins to the Super Bowl.
Defining games of the decade: The 1982 NFC Championship Game (the game that featured “The Catch”) and Super Bowl XXIII (Montana leads a 92-yard touchdown drive with 3:10 to go in the game).
If not for the 49ers, the Team of the Decade might have been: The Chicago Bears. The Bears won one Super Bowl in the ‘80s but lost to the 49ers twice in the NFC Championship Game (including once at home). The 49ers won the Super Bowl both times.
Dallas Cowboys (1990s)
The once-proud Cowboys were 3-13 during legendary head coach Tom Landry’s final season and fell to 1-15 in Jimmie Johnson’s first season. But three different head coaches—Johnson, Barry Switzer, and Chan Gailey—would lead the Cowboys to winning seasons in all but three years (1990, 1997, and 1999), six division titles, eight playoff appearances, three wins in four NFC Championship Games, and three Super Bowl titles.
Best team of the decade: 1992. The Cowboys went 13-3 and finished with the 2nd best offense and 5th best defense in the league. They won the NFC Championship Game in San Francisco and dismantled the Buffalo Bills 52-17 in the Super Bowl.
Worst loss of the decade: The 1994 NFC Championship Game. The Cowboys played the 49ers in the Championship Game for the 3rd straight year, and quarterback Troy Aikman entered the game undefeated in the playoffs (7-0). Aikman’s first interception of the game was returned for a touchdown. Wide receiver Cowboys wide receiver Michael Irvin lost a fumble on the next Dallas possession and kick returner Kevin Williams fumbled a kickoff, allowing San Francisco to take a 21-0 1st quarter lead, on their way to a 38-28 victory.
Defining games of the decade: The 1992 NFC Championship Game (Dallas won the game in San Francisco to advance to the franchise’s first Super Bowl in 14 years) and the 1995 NFC Championship Game (one year after losing to the 49ers in the penultimate game, the Cowboys withstood Brett Favre and the surging Packers 38-27 to advance to their third Super Bowl of the decade).
If not for the Cowboys, the Team of the Decade might have been: The San Francisco 49ers. With one Super Bowl and two NFC Championship Game losses to the Cowboys, the team of the ‘90s could have been the same as the team of the ‘80s if not for Dallas.
New England Patriots (2000s)
The New England Patriots have seven straight winning seasons, six division titles, six playoff appearances, four wins in five AFC Championship Games, and three Super Bowl titles. They also own the first undefeated season in 35 years and head to the Super Bowl this week in search of their fourth title of the decade.
Best team of the decade: 2007. The Patriots went 16-0 this season and are in the discussion as one of the greatest teams in NFL history.
Worst loss of the decade: The 2006 AFC Championship Game. The Patriots led the Indianapolis Colts 21-6 at halftime but the Colts scored 32 second half points on the way to a 38-34 win.
Defining games of the decade: The 2001 Divisional Playoff (“The Snow Game” or “The Tuck Rule Game”) and Super Bowl XXXVI (one of the greatest upsets in Super Bowl history).
If not for the Patriots, the Team of the Decade might have been: Either the Indianapolis Colts or the Pittsburgh Steelers. Both have one Super Bowl title and two playoff losses to the Patriots.
Last year, the Christmas weekend was interrupted by the NFL. With Christmas Eve on Sunday, there was no time for caroling, sleigh rides, or any of the other traditional fare. No, I had to sit inside and watch football all day. Thanks a lot, NFL.
It’s a little better this year, as Sunday is the 23rd of December. But I must have missed the memo that said it was OK to have a sporting event on at night on Christmas Eve. That’s right, Monday Night Football brings you Denver at San Diego, just a few hours before Santa arrives on the East Coast. Apparently nothing is sacred anymore.
Looks like I’ll need to have all of the gifts wrapped and under the tree by kickoff Saturday night (why yes, Virginia, there’s also a Saturday night game this week). And then it’s wall-to-wall football through Monday night.
Pittsburgh at St. Louis On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a Steelers team that’s suddenly lost two in a row against a Rams team whose three wins have come against San Francisco, Atlanta, and (inexplicably) New Orleans. My only hope for this game is that Bryant Gumble is once again absent and Tom Hammond replaces him for the second week in a row. Hammond was a breath of fresh air last week compared to the dreary Gumble. (Is he getting paid for the NFL Network gig? He sounds as if he’s doing the play-by-play of a bad golf tournament.)
Pick: Pittsburgh (-7½)
Dallas at Carolina You’ve got to love Terrell Owens: “Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite in this locker room or in Texas Stadium. I think with everything that has happened, and obviously the way Tony played and the comparison between her and Carrie Underwood, I think a lot of people feel like she's probably taking his focus away. Other than that, she was at the top of my list until last week.” Apparently he was kidding about quarterback Tony Romo’s current and former girlfriends, but he sure sounds like the kind of guy you want on your team, doesn’t he? Pick: Dallas (-10½)
Cleveland at Cincinnati Oh the weather outside is frightful… How much fun was that Cleveland-Buffalo game last week? Talk about a whiteout. Rain or snow showers expected for this one, but the temps look to be too high for another blizzard game. Maybe we’ll have better luck in the Buffalo game, since it snows in Buffalo 287 days per year on average. Pick: Cincinnati (+3)
Green Bay at Chicago Last week I told you not trust anyone who says, “This team has nothing to play for” when making picks. Five of the eight teams who had playoff aspirations and were playing sub-.500 teams did not cover the spread (and two lost outright). This week there are 10 games that fall into this category (including this one). I’m going with four of the underdogs, although there will probably be more that cover. The trick, as always, is finding the right ones (and I went just 3-5 picking these types of games last week). Pick: Chicago (+8½)
Houston at Indianapolis It’s time once again for the Colts to enjoy their late season struggles. They barely beat Oakland last week and Jacksonville two weeks before that. A similar thing happened to them last year. Of course, they did win the Super Bowl last year. Pick: Houston (+7)
Kansas City at Detroit (-4½)
Do you realize that since October 18, Boston’s big three sports teams (the Red Sox, Patriots, and Celtics) are a combined 36- 3 with a World Series title, the best record in the NBA, and the potential for an historic undefeated season in the NFL? How can I focus on Kansas City-Detroit when those kinds of numbers are out there? Pick: Detroit (-5)
NY Giants at Buffalo Apparently Santa decided to put coal under the Giants’ tree. Brutal loss to Philly last week. Injury to Shockey. And the Patriots on the schedule next week. This team is some lake effect snow away from missing the playoffs. Pick: Buffalo (+3)
Oakland at Jacksonville Jaguars running back Fred Taylor is 40 yards away from rushing for the 17th most yards in NFL history. Yet he has never been selected to play in the Pro Bowl. Think about that for a minute. Baseball analogies include Alex Rodriguez (17th on the all-time home run list), Ken Griffey (20th on the all-time RBI list), Tom Glavine (21st on the all-time wins list), or John Smoltz (16th on the all-time strikeouts list) having never played in an All-Star Game. (And yes, baseball is on my mind at the moment but I’m completely ignoring the steroids thing for now.) Pick: Jacksonville (-13)
Philadelphia at New Orleans This year isn’t very much fun for the playoff possibilities is it? Last year at this time every team in the NFC was still alive for a playoff spot. I think even Ohio State could have made the NFC playoffs last season. This year? Five teams are fighting for the final two NFC playoff spots and four teams are in the hunt for the final three spots in the AFC. Booooorrrrrinnnng. Pick: Philadelphia (+3)
Atlanta at Arizona Bill Parcells continues to make life interesting, doesn’t he? Another round of playing two teams against each other and he ends up taking the job in Miami. I have three thoughts on the matter: 1) This should make the AFC East even more fun next year, with Belichick in a battle of wills with both Parcells and Mangini while the Bills remain the second best team in the division; 2) Love him or hate him, you have to respect that Bill Parcells chose two NFL franchises—the Falcons and Dolphins—that are in the most disarray to target for his next job; 3) Has anyone had a worse year than Falcons owner Arthur Blank? Between the Michael Vick saga, his head coach slinking off in the middle of the night, and now Parcells, don’t be surprised if Blank never believes a word anyone says to him every again. “Your car will be ready at 3pm, Mr. Blank.” “Liar! You’ve sold my car to someone else and are leaving me with a used ’79 Pinto aren’t you?!?!” Pick: Arizona (-10)
Tampa Bay at San Francisco Patriots fans should continue to root against the 49ers, as New England owns the 49ers’ 1st round draft pick next year. For those of you that dislike the Patriots, you should be rooting for San Francisco. Who says no one cares about this game?
Pick: Tampa Bay (-6½)
Baltimore at Seattle I have to confess something. About 10 years ago I vowed never to go to the mall on the weekend during Christmastime. I kept that vow until last Friday night. To my surprise, it wasn’t that crowded. I don’t know, maybe this Internet thing is really going to take off. Pick: Seattle (-10½)
Miami at New England I’d like to thank the NFL for moving this game to 4:15, at the same time as Jets-Titans. I’ll be deep in the heart of Jets country (Western Connecticut) on Sunday, seeking out a sports bar that’s not filled with Jets fans. 95% of the country will receive Patriots-Dolphins, but not where I’ll be. Thanks, NFL! Thanks, WFSB Channel 3 in Connecticut! Pick: New England (-22)
NY Jets at Tennessee And here’s the game that’s making December 23rd more difficult for me! At least I have this tidbit to look forward to: The last four teams that have played the Patriots have gone 0-4 the next week and have lost by the cumulative score of 137-80. It takes a lot out of you to gear up for the Patriots. Pick: Tennessee (-8½)
Washington at Minnesota The game with the most playoff implications happens during NBC’s Flex Game on Sunday Night Football. The Vikings win, the Redskins cannot make the playoffs. The Redskins win, and we’ve got some drama going into Week 17. Pick: Minnesota (-6½)
Denver at San Diego A yule log on the fire. The presents all wrapped and under the tree. The children all snug in their beds. The Missus in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap, settle down for a little Broncos-Chargers. And the hope that Saint Nicholas soon will be here. Pick: Denver (+8½)
A Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night!
I was going to follow up what I wrote last week with a little diddy about how great Sunday night’s Patriots win was and how it turned everything around and how great life was and blah blah blah. But the last thing anyone wants is a Patriots fan gloating about his team.
Instead, let’s focus in on the upcoming slate of games in the NFL. I went a disappointing 7-8-1 last week after my strong opening week. Although my tidbit of the week—that the underdogs who won in Week 1 would be good bets in Week 2—came true in the form of a 3-0-1 week for those teams. Of course I told you that tidbit and then only took 3 of them myself. I won’t make that mistake this week.
I’ve got a few more tidbits to share this week. They are spread throughout my picks for the weekend.
Arizona at Baltimore Did you ever stop to think about team names and what it would mean if they actually did battle? I mean a Cardinal is a cute little red bird that is not indigenous to Arizona. A Raven is one of the largest birds in North America, is considered one of the smartest of all birds, and can survive anywhere from the Arctic to the desert. Plus the Raven was immortalized in a poem by the macabre Edgar Allan Poe (which makes it one tough bird). All I can say about this game is: That’s So Raven. Pick: Baltimore (-7½)
San Francisco at Pittsburgh Over the last two years, teams that started the season 2-0 and played a team with fewer than 2 wins in Week 3 are just 3-7 against the spread. More important than that tidbit is this one—teams that won their first two games by 17 or more are 0-2-1 against the spread the next week. That makes Pittsburgh, New England, and Dallas vulnerable this week. Pick: San Francisco (+9)
Detroit at Philadelphia I don’t want to place any more pressure on Donovan McNabb, but his team is 0-2 and he is the 23rd-highest rated quarterback in the league. I’m not criticizing you, Donovan. I’m just stating facts. No pressure, OK? Pick: Detroit (+6)
Indianapolis at Houston Everyone had this one down as one of the premier games of the season, right? Undefeated Indianapolis vs. undefeated Houston. Raise your hand if you had this one pegged as a clash of the titans. Pick: Indianapolis (-6)
Miami at NY Jets The Jets have won 5 of the last 6 games with the Dolphins. I smell a trend. Or maybe I smell a rat. I don’t know. I smell something. Pick: NY Jets (-3)
Minnesota at Kansas City The Vikings have allowed 76 rushing yards per game so far this season, up 15 yards per game from last year’s phenomenal total (but still 5th best in the league). The Chiefs have rushed for 71 yards per game this year, down 63 yards per game from the 2006 season. This could be the first game in NFL history in which a team rushes for negative yardage for the entire game. Pick: Minnesota (+2½)
St. Louis at Tampa Bay Teams that began 0-2 the last two years went 7-3 vs. the spread against teams with at least one win in Week 3. Digging a little deeper, teams that lost one of their games by less than 10 and the other by 10 or more went 5-1 against the number. That makes Atlanta, St. Louis, Oakland, and Buffalo sure-fire covers this weekend. Pick: St. Louis (+3½)
Buffalo at New England Do you think Randy Moss will be a difference-maker for the Patriots? I’m still on the fence. Pick: Buffalo (+16½)
San Diego at Green Bay I’ve been a huge Prison Break fan since day 1, even though I had to suspend my disbelief at every turn. First, an architect tattoos his entire body with plans to break his brother out of prison. Then the group of escapees (those that survived) converge both in Utah (to dig up D.B. Cooper’s money) and in Panama. Finally, the escapee brothers are miraculously exhonerated after the President of the United States announces that she is leaving office—but one of the brothers ends up in the worst prison on the planet, from which he needs to escape. Yeah, they might have lost me this year. Pick: San Diego (-5½)
Cincinnati at Seattle Seattle is 33-12 at home since 2002. And the way Cincinnati’s defense played last week, I don’t see the Bengals providing much of a challenge this weekend. Pick: Seattle (-3)
Cleveland at Oakland Last week the Browns and Bengals played one of their semi-annual “Ugly Games.” There’s nothing but orange and black all over the field and absolutely no defense. It’s Halloween gone mad. CBS added to the ugliness by showing the game in No Definition. Keep up the good work, CBS. You might as well show this game in No Def as well. Pick: Oakland (-3)
Jacksonville at Denver The Denver Broncos needed the field goal unit to sprint onto the field and kick a game winner in 8 seconds in Week 1. Last week, their coach called time out a nano-second before the Raiders snapped the ball for a game-winning field goal. Oakland then missed the second try and the Broncos drove for the winning score. When you win two games you have no right winning, there’s only two ways the rest of the season can go: 14-2 and a trip to the Super Bowl or 8-8 with a string of “how did they blow that game” losses. I’m going with the latter. Pick: Jacksonville (+3)
Carolina at Atlanta Since I have nothing to say about this game, let’s talk baseball for a moment. The American League races are all but over (and even if the Yankees catch the Red Sox, both are making the playoffs), but the National League drama might be just beginning. All three divisions are separated by 1½ games or less, and the Wild Card is up for grabs as well. I’m rooting for ties galore, with the Mets and Phillies, Padres and Diamondbacks, and Cubs and Brewers all playing one game playoffs on October 1, with the losers of the first two games meeting the next day to settle the Wild Card. But maybe that’s just me. Pick: Atlanta (+4)
NY Giants at Washington ESPN’s Chris Mortensen reports that Giants quarterback Eli Manning will retire due to the severity of his dislocated shoulder. Wait, this just in, Eli Manning will be starting this weekend for the Giants. Pick: Washington (-3½)
Dallas at Chicago The Bears have allowed just 12 points per game so far this season, 4th-lowest in the NFL. The Cowboys have scored a league-best 41 points per game. The Cardinals have scored 40 points and allowed 40 points. I don’t know what any of this means, but it sure sounded good at first. Pick: Chicago (-3)
Tennessee at New Orleans
Only three teams since 1990 have started the season 0-2 and advanced to the Super Bowl (the ’93 Cowboys, ’96 Patriots, and ’01 Patriots). Team number four—the New Orleans Saints—begins the long climb this week (or else I can kiss my Super Bowl prediction goodbye in Week 3). Pick: New Orleans (-4)
The 2007 NFL season kicks off tomorrow night with the defending world champion Indianapolis Colts hosting the New Orleans Saints. Seven months after Peyton Manning and the Colts showed that they could indeed win the big one, they get to play the role of defending champion.
No more Michael Vick discussions. No more debates on the length of the preseason. No more reminiscing about (or gnashing teeth over) last year’s results.
I covered most of the questions that we’re all seeking answers to last week in Part 1 of the Sports in a Can NFL Preview. So, without further ado, let’s get to this year’s predictions. Division winners are in bold, wild card teams are in italics:
AFC East New England 13-3 Buffalo 7-9 NY Jets 7-9 Miami 4-12
In what amounted to a rebuilding year, the Patriots won 12 games and were one play away from the Super Bowl last season. Seven months later they’ve added the best defensive free agent available (Adalius Thomas) and three wide receivers (Wes Welker, Donte’ Stallworth, and Randy Moss) that are so much better than what they had last year they released last season’s yardage leader (Reche Caldwell). Does it matter that Richard Seymour can’t play until at least Week 7 or that Rodney Harrison was using HGH and will miss the first four games? A little, but not enough to derail what will be the best team in the NFL this year. Meanwhile, Buffalo lost almost all of their defensive players to free agency or injury. The Jets will take a step backward—last season’s 10 wins were a little suspect (their final 5 wins were against Houston, Miami, Oakland, Green Bay, and Minnesota, who won a combined 26 games, or 5.2 each). And the Dolphins are now officially a mess.
Questions abound in this division. How different will the Ravens’ defense be without Adalius Thomas? How much of an impact will new head coach Mike Tomlin have on the Steelers? How many Bengals will get arrested? And will the Browns ever be good? Baltimore shouldn’t miss Thomas much, as that defense is packed with players. The Steelers will be good enough under their new coach to get back to the playoffs. The Benglas will win exactly 8 games for the 4th time in 5 years. And the Browns are at least a year away. Maybe more.
AFC South
Indianapolis 12-4 Jacksonville 10-6 Tennessee 7-9 Houston 5-11
The defending Super Bowl Champion Colts lost linebacker Cato June, left tackle Tarik Glenn, defensive tackle Booger McFarland, and cornerback Nick Harper. They will not be as good as they were last year, but with four games against the Titans and Texans, along with Kansas City, Oakland, and Atlanta on the schedule, they don’t need to be as good to nail down 12 wins and their 5th straight division crown. Will Jacksonville ever be able to put it together? They released quarterback Byron Leftwhich over the weekend, meaning David Garrard (and his 3,543 career passing yards) is now the full-time starter. Their defense will be stellar again, but the offense is a huge question mark. The Titans, meanwhile, with Vince “I need to sleep in my own bed” Young will take a step backward. With games at Jacksonville, vs. Indianapolis, and at New Orleans to begin the season, there might be some bruised egos heading into their bye week. And the Texans remain the Texans. Unless Matt Shaub (and his 1,033 career passing yards) turns out to be the next Joe Montana. Which is doubtful.
AFC West
San Diego 11-5 Denver 8-8 Kansas City 5-11 Oakland 3-13
The Chargers had the talent to win it all last year. Unfortunately, they were led into the postseason by Marty Schottenheimer and his career 5-12 postseason record. And for the 4th time in his career, he took a 12+ win team into a home playoff game and lost. Replacing Schottenheimer is Norv Turner. You might know Turner (58-82-1 in his career) from such hits as, “I ruined the Redskins” and, “Yes you can win 9 games in 2 years with a team 2 years removed from the Super Bowl and still get another job.” San Diego has too much talent for even Norv to mess up that badly, so 11 wins and the division crown it is. He’ll be helped by the down year I predict for the AFC West. Denver head coach Mike Shanahan somehow coaxed 9 wins out of the Broncos last year. But with untested Jay Cutler anointed as the quarterback, I can’t see Denver winning more than 8 games. And the Chiefs will suffer the second year blues under head coach Herm Edwards. Meanwhile the Raiders continue to be just plain awful.
NFC East
Philadelphia 10-6 Washington 8-8 Dallas 7-9 NY Giants 6-10
Year after year, there’s one thing you can count on in the NFC East: The Eagles being at the top. The Eagles have won 10 games or more 6 times in the last 7 years, so I’ll give them the nod for 10 this year. The rest of the division has problems. The NFL may have passed Joe Gibbs by, but I’ll give him credit for giving it a go, and with the talent they have, there’s no reason for them to win fewer than 8 games. For the Cowboys, new head coach Wade Phillips is walking into a difficult situation. Only once out of the three times Bill Parcells has left a franchise has the team won more games the next season. Plus he’s got the Terrell Owens factor to deal with, along with quarterback Tony Romo’s psyche after dropping the snap on last year’s extra point in the playoffs. And then there are the Giants. I was high on them last year but the fact remains that Eli is no Peyton, head coach Tom Coughlin’s style has a short shelf life, and they’re going to miss running back Tiki Barber (over 2,000 yards rushing and receiving in each of the last three years) more than they think.
NFC North
Chicago 12-4 Minnesota 9-7 Green Bay 6-10 Detroit 4-12
It’s a testament to how bad the NFC is in comparison to the AFC that the Bears are probably going to win 12 games again. They have a solid defense, an awful quarterback, and a head coach that’s out of his element in the biggest moments. (Lovie Smith is a nice enough guy, but re-read my recap of last year’s “win” over the Seahawks in the playoffs and tell me if you’d want him coaching your team.) But playing in the NFC, having the 31st easiest schedule (according to last season’s records), and fielding a defense that can win games by itself at times will power the Bears to 12 wins. The Vikings seem to be the only other team in this division that has a chance to be respectable. I like what Brad Childress is doing in Minnesota, and he has turned that team from a laughing stock into a potential playoff team. They just need to find some offense to go with their incredible run-stopping defense (they allowed 111 fewer rushing yards per game than the Colts last year). I still don’t know how Green Bay won 8 games last year, but without running back Ahman Green, Brett Favre will have to throw more. With 47 interceptions (to go with 38 touchdowns) in the last two seasons, Favre throwing more is not what the Packers are looking for. And the Lions can run as many 5 receiver sets as they want. Jon Kitna is throwing the ball to them.
NFC South
New Orleans 12-4 Carolina 11-5 Tampa Bay 9-7 Atlanta 2-14
The Saints, last year’s surprise team, will continue to be a team on the rise. Drew Brees has seemingly overnight transformed into one of the premier quarterbacks in the league. Since his abysmal 2003 season, Brees has thrown 77 touchdowns against only 33 interceptions. Last season he led the league with 4,418 passing yards. Between Brees, the emergence of all-world Reggie Bush, and the coaching of Sean Payton, the Saints will emerge as the top team in the NFC this year. Meanwhile, the Panthers will be right there with them, winning 11 games. How do I know for sure? Here are the Panthers’ wins the last 5 years: 7-11-7-11-8. And it should have been 7 last year—I have no idea how the Panthers won in Baltimore in Week 6. So 11 it is. Tampa Bay, meanwhile, is putting it together finally. I thought last year would be the year, but with the addition of Jeff “I am now the man” Garcia, 9 wins seems attainable. And Michael Vick has a better chance of starring in a Prison Break cameo than the Falcons do of winning more than 2 games this year.
NFC West
San Francisco 10-6 Seattle 10-6 St. Louis 8-8 Arizona 7-9
An improved 49ers squad will finally make the leap to the promised land of the playoffs this year. Consider this: San Francisco beat Seattle twice last season and then got the Seahawks’ best receiver (Darrell Jackson) from them in a trade. Quarterback Alex Smith is improving, running back Frank Gore is a force, and—with a division title presumably on the line—the 49ers finish the season with three straight home games and then a trip to Cleveland. I don’t trust the Seahawks and I never will, but I’ll give them 10 wins and a wild card berth. St. Louis seems headed for another 8-8 season—they’re not good enough to challenge for the division, but their offense is too good to lose too many games. And then there are the Cardinals. I was ready to anoint them the surprise team—again. But they lost two different players in the preseason with torn muscles, which you just have to think is a bad sign. They will be good—and soon—but this isn’t the year for any more than 7 wins.
The Playoffs
Week 1: Baltimore (3) beats Pittsburgh (6); Jacksonville (5) beats San Diego (4); Philadelphia (3) beats Seattle (6); Carolina (5) beats San Francisco (4)
Week 2: New England (1) beats Jacksonville (5); Indianapolis (2) beats Baltimore (3); New Orleans (1) beats Carolina (5); Philadelphia (3) beats Chicago (1)
NFC Championship Game: New Orleans over Philadelphia, continuing the remarkable turnaround for the Saints franchise.
AFC Championship Game: New England vs. Indianapolis. Right where we left off in January. In the next edition of this great rivalry, the Patriots get the upper hand and advance to the Super Bowl for the 4th time in 7 years.
Super Bowl XLII: After winning their first three Super Bowls by a combined 9 points, the Patriots win this one by 9 points, 34-25 over New Orleans.
* * * * *
Week 1 Picks
Last year, 7 underdogs won outright in Week 1, and 2 others covered the spread. The year before it was 6 and 1. The trick is finding the right underdogs this early in the season.
INDIANAPOLIS (-6½) over New Orleans BUFFALO (+3) over Denver Kansas City (+3) over HOUSTON JACKSONVILLE (-6½) over Tennessee MINNESOTA (-3) over Atlanta New England (-6½) over NY JETS Philadelphia (-3) over GREEN BAY Pittsburgh (-4½) over CLEVELAND Carolina (+1) over ST. LOUIS WASHINGTON (-3) over Miami Detroit (+1½) over OAKLAND SAN DIEGO (-5½) over Chicago SEATTLE (-6) over Tampa Bay NY Giants (+6) over DALLAS Baltimore (+2½) over CINCINNATI SAN FRANCISCO (-3) over Arizona
Throwing Out More Thoughts on Sports, Life, and Whatnot
I don’t know what kind of magical substance they made the new NBA ball out of, but I can’t believe that commissioner David Stern is giving in and going back to the old one—even though he attributes the league-wide rise in scoring to the new ball. More games such as the Suns-Nets 161-157 double overtime thriller might get me to start watching again.
Do you realize that there have only been five overtime games in the NFL this season? And three of them came way back in Week 2. Last season there were four overtime games in Week 12 alone. Guess this isn’t the time to bring up the fact that the NFL’s overtime rules are ridiculous, huh?
If I hear John Mellencamp’s This is Our Country one more time I might just go off the deep end. Same goes for the beginning of Iron Man.
Can everyone please stop comparing the 2006 Bears to the 2000 Ravens? Whenever a team has a very good defense and a very bad offense, people instantly make the connection. But they’re missing the point. The 2000 Ravens had a bad offense, but they took care of the ball. Punting was always a way of getting the defense back on the field with lots of room to work. This Bears offense often puts their defense in a bad position, which is why the comparison is not valid. Think about it this way: in 13 games in 2000 (including the playoffs), Trent Dilfer threw 12 interceptions and lost 2 fumbles (14 turnovers). Through 13 games this year Rex Grossman has thrown 17 interceptions and lost 4 fumbles (21 turnovers). Plus Dilfer got better at taking care of the ball as the season progressed. Grossman’s gotten worse. Not exactly a recipe for success.
The Missus and I experienced Hi Definition in our home for the first time over the weekend. First and foremost, I may never leave the house again. It’s remarkable how much different the picture is. But I have to ask the NFL: What’s the deal with allowing some games to be shown in low def still? Plus it’s not just games such as Raiders-Cardinals that get the low def treatment. Jaguars-Colts was in low def last weekend. You’re telling me this billion dollar conglomerate can’t spend a few more pennies each week and put all the games on in HD?
In the past three years, Red Sox fans have watched the surreal become the norm: The general manager spends Thanksgiving dinner with one of Curt Schilling—one of the best (and most sought after) pitchers in baseball—and convinces him to come to Boston; down three games to none to the hated Yankees, the Red Sox pull off the greatest comeback in sports history—a comeback sparked incredibly by a stolen base (something the Red Sox are not known for), Schilling’s surgically mended ankle, and the efforts of Derek Lowe, the flakiest pitcher on the team; the Red Sox won the World Series; and back-up catcher Doug Mirabelli—apparently the only man on the planet capable of catching Tim Wakefield’s knuckleball—gets a police escort to the game after getting traded back to Boston. Add yesterday’s Matsuzaka watch—complete with a Web link that tracked his flight to Massachusetts and fans lining up at the airport with pre-printed “Dice K”—signs to the list.
Allen Iverson—one of the best players in the NBA—could get traded to the Boston Celtics as early as tomorrow. And yet not one person in Boston cares, not only because of the Matsuzaka deal, but because the Celtics have almost slipped behind the Bruins in terms of interest.
Back in college, my roommate Jake and I got so good at Nintendo’s Tecmo Super Bowl that we needed a challenge. So we’d use the ’90 Giants for a season but never play on offense. We’d punt every single time and try and win with just kick returns and defense. We’d end up with 10 to 12 wins and then invariably lose in the playoffs. Sound familiar? We basically invented the 2006 Bears.
I don’t care what anyone says. If the Red Sox’ deal for Daisuke Matsuzaka fell through, he would have ended up with the Yankees somehow.
I couldn’t have been more thrilled to see LaDanian Tomlinson break Shaun Alexander’s one-year-old record of 28 touchdowns in a season. I haven’t liked Alexander since he caused a scene on the sidelines after he missed out on the rushing title by one yard two years ago. And I still say that Tiki Barber should have won the MVP over Alexander last year. Besides all that, is there a better, more likable guy in the NFL right now that Tomlinson? He’s the kind of guy you want to use to promote your league. Plus he might just go down as the best running back to ever play the game. And think about this: He has three more games to add to his season touchdown total. 32 touchdowns—an average of two per game—is not out of the question. Plus he’s thrown for two touchdowns. Simply incredible.
Having finally dug out from the 100 hours of television I had TiVo’d. I’ve decided that this whole “Fall season” thing works for me. New shows almost every single week through the beginning of December and then everyone takes a month or two off. I’m down. I got my fill of new shows, and had time to catch up on everything. Of course, I’ll be itching for some new stuff in a couple of weeks.
Back to HD for a moment. When it was finally hooked up and ready to go, my first foray into HD was a program on the Discovery Channel about F-18s landing on air craft carriers. This is the kind of thing that needs to be on 24/7, just on the off chance that someone just got HD for the first time.
Before everyone hands the Lombardi trophy over to the Chargers, let’s remember that last year at this time the Colts were 13-0 and we tried to anoint them as champions. You remember how that turned out, right? The year before that the Steelers were 12-1 right now. Again, no championship. You don’t win the title in Week 15. Just keep that in mind.
Memo to fellow Red Sox fans: We can never complain about the Yankees and their free-spending ways again. In the last week alone, the team has spent $209 million. On three players!
There are 10 more shopping days until Christmas. Or, only a couple if you plan on doing all of your shopping online. That’s what I’m doing.
NFL Week 15 Picks
Wow. Not even picking opposites helped last week. Plus I jinxed myself talking about my Monday Night success. Let's try actually trying again this week. (Picks updated on Saturday, because I posted the wrong ones. I'm already 0-1 this week thanks to Seattle laying an egg. I said a few weeks ago that the Seahawks were destined to not make the playoffs. I still might be right on that one.)
SEATTLE (-9½) over San Francisco Dallas (-3½) over ATLANTA BALTIMORE (-11) over Cleveland GREEN BAY (-5) over Detroit NEW ENGLAND (-11½) over Houston TENNESSEE (+3½) over Jacksonville Miami (+1) over BUFFALO NY Jets (+3) over MINNESOTA Pittsburgh (-2½) over CAROLINA CHICAGO (-13½) over Tampa Bay NEW ORLEANS (-9½) over Washington ARIZONA (+3) over Denver Philadelphia (+5½) over NY GIANTS St. Louis (+2½) over OAKLAND SAN DIEGO (-9) over Kansas City Cincinnati (+3) over INDIANAPOLIS
Aaahh, Thanksgiving. The turkey. The stuffing. The family get-togethers. The tryptophan. And the football.
Did you ever wonder how football became entrenched as a Thanksgiving day tradition? Between high school games in the morning and NFL games in the afternoon, it’s a wonder the pigskin isn’t part of Thanksgiving decorative décor. The History Channel is running a special on the Mayflower’s journey to the New World, and I’m thinking of tuning in to see if the Pilgrims ran off the boat and through a giant football helmet. After learning how to grow corn from the Indians, they surely taught their new friends the value of the West Coast offense, no?
And so another Thanksgiving week is upon us. The only three-day work week of the year. The only annual Thursday holiday. The busiest travel days of the year. And wall-to-wall football.
We’re going with nothing but picks this week…enjoy your Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving games
Miami at Detroit (12:30 p.m.) The choices for this time slot were either Miami at Detroit or Buffalo at Detroit. Not exactly “white or dark meat,” is it? How does an early dinner sound to everyone? Pick: Miami (-3)
Tampa Bay at Dallas (4:15 p.m.) All of a sudden, the Cowboys are right back in the thick of the NFC playoff race. Although I have to tell you, when Dallas had 1st-and-goal from the 8 early in the 4th quarter, I turned to the Missus and said, “This is where Cowboys quarterbacks usually throw interceptions.” Two plays later there was Romo—doing his best Bledsoe imitation—throwing a pick. It was nullified by a penalty, the Cowboys ran it in and knocked off the previously undefeated Colts. Something to think about if you’re a Dallas fan, though… Pick: Tampa Bay (+11)
Denver at Kansas City (8:00 p.m.) For years, I begged the NFL to let Detroit and Dallas play each other on Thanksgiving every four years and schedule a really exciting match-up for the second game. The NFL did me one better by deciding to schedule a third game for Thanksgiving night. Of course, you need to be one of the 15 people in the country that actually has the NFL Network in order to watch this game. Pick: Denver (+1)
Sunday games
Arizona at Minnesota The triumphant return of Denny Green to the Metrodome! Matt Leinart against Brad Johnson! Lots of guys in the stands dressed like Vikings! (Forget it. It’s not working. There’s nothing exciting whatsoever about this game.) Pick: Arizona (+6)
Carolina at Washington Do you think Joe Gibbs misses the NASCAR days? By the way, I don’t know how they’ll pull it off, but the Panthers need to go 1-5 the rest of the way. Why? Over the last four years they’ve won 7, 11, 7, and 11 games. This is a 7 year. They understand that, right? And if they do it, this would be another opportunity for 7-Eleven to get in on the naming rights action. This week, it’s the Washington Redskins against the Carolina 7-Eleven Panthers! Pick: Washington (+4½)
Cincinnati at Cleveland This all-Ohio clash has me thinking about Saturday’s thrilling Ohio State-Michigan game. As exciting as that game was, and as thrilling the prospect of two more games between top 6 BCS teams over the next two weeks is, the BCS apologists are missing the point. Sure, due to a scheduling quirk, it appears that the BCS works this year. But a playoff system would guarantee multiple games between the top 4, 8, or more teams every year. Pick: Cleveland (+3)
Houston at N.Y. Jets An inconsistent, up-and-down team travels to play one of New York’s football teams. Pick: N.Y. Jets (-6)
Jacksonville at Buffalo An inconsistent, up-and-down team travels to play one of New York’s football teams. (This entry was brought to you by the television show Daybreak and the movie Déjà Vu.) Pick: Buffalo (+3)
New Orleans at Atlanta Reggie Bush only needs 124 yards rushing per game for the rest of the season for me to lose The Bet. Pick: Atlanta (-3)
Pittsburgh at Baltimore “Save the cheerleader. Save the world.” Ever since I compared Ben Roethlisberger to the indestructible cheerleader on Heroes, the Steelers have gone 2-3 and Big Ben has thrown as many interceptions (10) as touchdowns. His super powers will be severely tested against the evil Baltimore Ravens this week. Pick: Baltimore (-3)
San Francisco at St. Louis If the 49ers win and the Seahawks lose, the 49ers will be in first place in the NFC West. (No, that’s not a misprint.) Pick: San Francisco (+5½)
Oakland at San Diego I realize that Fantasy Football is huge and the folks that show the games and pregame and halftime shows need to somehow address this. But if you’re playing Fantasy Football, are you waiting until Sunday morning for Ron Jaworski, Howie Long, or Shannon Sharpe to tell you whom to play? And are you taking notes when the ticker runs stats such as “Vinatieri 1-1 FG 1-1 XP?” I’m thinking no. Fantasy Football players get their information on the Web and don’t need any help from people on TV. (By the way, I’d start LaDanian Tomlinson this week. He’s pretty good.) Pick: San Diego (-13½)
Chicago at New England The game of the weekend. The Patriots have outscored two NFC North opponents 66-7. The Bears have stormed out to a 9-1 record and could actually clinch their division this weekend if everything goes right. Meanwhile, Gillette Stadium has the new fangled FieldTurf this week instead of the mud pit that used to be there. I’m thinking of replacing my own lawn with FieldTurf. It sure would save me time with the lawnmower. It’s probably not fun to try to rake, though. Pick: New England (-3)
N.Y. Giants at Tennessee The Titans used to be called the Oilers. The Edmonton Oilers’ greatest star was Wayne Gretzky. Gretzky is now the head coach of the Phoenix Coyotes. The Coyotes used to be called the Jets. The Jets used to be called the Titans and play in the same stadium as the Giants. Weird, huh? Pick: N.Y. Giants (-3)
Sunday Night Football Philadelphia at Indianapolis The “flex schedule” that NBC is using this year is working out pretty well so far. This one looked a lot more intriguing before the Colts lost their first game and the Eagles lost Donovan McNabb. Pick: Philadelphia (+9)
Monday Night Football
Green Bay at Seattle Don’t you wish there could be a “flex schedule” situation for Monday Night Football? Me, too. Pick: Green Bay (+9½)
Last week I compared the AFC teams to TV shows. This week, it’s the NFC’s turn to go head-to-head with TV (plus two bonus ones for the World Series).
NFC East
CSI: New York New York Giants (4-2)
I never jumped on the CSI bandwagon. CSI guys are usually the geeks who find the clues that help the better-looking cops solve the crimes. But in the CSI series, the geeks are the stars—and they also solve the entire crime single-handedly. Every CSI show seems the same to me. Just like the Giants, Cowboys, and Redskins are all very similar to me right now. A quarterback who scares you to death more often than impresses you. A crazy teammate who runs off at the mouth whenever possible (Jeremy Shockey, Terrell Owens). Three teams that win games they should lose and lose games they should win. The Eagles might win this division by default.
ER Philadelphia Eagles (4-3)
NBC was ready to pull the plug on this one and then…boom! Right there! People are watching it again. Everyone expected this show to disappear into the sunset. And yet there they are, holding onto their timeslot. It’s the show that everyone at other networks still secretly fears. The Eagles’ three losses have come thusly: an overtime loss after blowing a 17-point 4th quarter lead; a 3-point loss in the new toughest place to play (New Orleans); and a 2-point loss following the 3rd-longest field goal in history. This is the team everyone else in the NFC secretly fears right now.
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Dallas Cowboys (3-3)
Let the Drew Bledsoe-Tony Romo-Bill Parcells-Jerry Jones fun begin. And you thought Terrell Owens made this the best show on TV? This is getting good now. A little goofy and over the top (just like the original CSI), but fun nonetheless.
CSI: Miami Washington Redskins (2-5)
I have nothing more to add. See above for the CSI info. See below (the bottom of the NFC East standings) to see how the ‘Skins are doing.
NFC North
Grey’s Anatomy Chicago Bears (6-0)
The #1 show on TV has to go to the current darlings of the NFL. And just like the TV show, I can’t figure out how the Bears are doing it. Is Rex Grossman really this good? Or is the guy we saw in Arizona on Monday Night Football the real Rex Grossman. I can’t imagine the Bears will keep this pace up. Just as I can’t see Grey’s Anatomy staying the hot show for too long. I love those who do these power rankings and have debates about who the best team in football is. It’s October. Talk to me in Januarywhen this team goes home early. Again.
NCIS Minnesota Vikings (4-2)
I can’t explain it. It’s goofy—but not too goofy. It’s serious—but not too serious. It features Mark Harmon, who looked to be the next superstar at one time. (Moonlighting, Summer School, The Presidio. Harmon was this close to being a superstar.) Now he’s the big fish on a medium-sized TV show. Somehow the cast pulls it all together to make a show that’s fun, believable, entertaining—and Top 10 in the ratings. The 2006 Vikings—who no longer live in the shadows of Randy Moss, the sex boat scandal, and the former coaching staff—are 4-2 and challenging the Bears for the NFC North crown. Harmon plays Brad Johnson in this show.
The New Adventures of Old Christine Green Bay Packers (2-4)
Remember the glory days? Elaine and Jerry and George and Kramer. Every once in a while, Julia Louis-Dreyfus is funny now, but it’s just not the same. Every once in a while, the Packers can put it all together and win a game. But the days of 10+ wins and Super Bowl appearances are long gone. Seriously, Brett. Enough’s enough.
Football Night in America Detroit Lions (1-6)
Let’s get the Lions out of the way quickly. They’re awful. Their only remaining winnable game will be the much-hyped Lions-Cardinals match-up in Week 11. The loser of that one will be The Biggest Loser—and receive the number one draft pick. Now, on to Football Night in America. Whose idea was this? NFL Primetime was the greatest football wrap-up show of all time, but because ESPN doesn’t have the Sunday night game anymore, they don’t have the all-access highlight show that we’re used to. Instead NBC has it. Football Night in America is no NFL Primetime. On Primetime, you’d get a 3-minute package of highlights per game, complete with music. And Chris Berman’s nicknames and Tom Jackson’s analysis. It was on for 90 glorious minutes. Football Night in America? It’s an extended halftime show with useless banter among a group of goofy guys on leather seats.
NFC South
Shark New Orleans Saints (5-1)
Another lawyer show. Another movie actor making the jump to TV. I almost didn’t even add this one to the TiVo list this year. But you know what? It’s good. Really good. Neither hokey nor preachy, it gets the job done and makes me want to watch again. The Saints are 5-1. Their home games are must-see events. They’re the unexpected good show of the season. (And who would have guessed this would happen with Reggie Bush on pace for just 523 rushing yards? I feel better and better about The Bet every day.)
Jericho Atlanta Falcons (4-2)
The most unique show on TV goes to the most unique team in the NFL. The Falcons rush for about 4,000 yards per game. Michael Vick is one of the most exciting players in the game. But then sometimes they go out and do something like lose at home to the Giants 19-3. I can’t explain it. It’s kind of like a nuclear explosion went off one town over and no one can figure out what to do. Actually, it’s exactly like that.
Smallville Carolina Panthers (4-3)
Their best players are a quarterback no one could pick out of a lineup (Jake Delhomme) and a 5'9" wideout who catches everything (Steve Smith). (Smallville. Get it?)
The Nine Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-4)
OK, something happened inside the bank. Actually, a lot of things happened considering two people died, everyone’s completely screwed up now, and the hostage crisis lasted 52 hours. But if they’re only going to show us what happened in the bank 5 minutes at a time, I fear this show will be cancelled before we ever learn very much. Something crazy happens to the Bucs every week. Quarterback Chris Simms was almost killed after a sack one week. Matt Bryant kicked a 62-yard field goal last week. You never really know what’s going to happen—nor if they’ll turn the lights out in Tampa before the playoffs start.
NFC West
Dancing With the Stars Seattle Seahawks (4-2)
First of all, “stars” is a little deceiving. In three years, the biggest “stars” on this show have been J. Peterman from Seinfeld, Nick Lachey’s brother, and Screech from Saved by the Bell. (Fine, it’s Slater. But you get the point.) Something’s making this the #3 show on TV right now, though. The Seattle Seahawks? No big names there either. And yet they made it to the Super Bowl last year. Of course, maybe if they had Emmitt Smith to rush for them, things might be different.
Justice St. Louis Rams (4-2)
Sometimes a show comes along that you really don’t want to admit you like, but you do anyway. That’s Justice. It’s completely over the top, the acting is awful, the plots are atrocious, and I sit wondering how the heck this drivel ever got on the air. But it’s completely absorbing. The Rams are no longer the Greatest Show on Turf. But they can still be fun to watch.
Survivor San Francisco 49ers (2-4)
The show that put reality TV on the map. Once the most dominant show TV, now it’s reduced to a sideshow gimmick (“let’s separate the camps by race”). It’s a sad state of affairs for society, TV, and life in general. Ask any 49er fan to show you his autographed 1990 Montana jersey and he’ll tell you all about it.
Desperate Housewives Arizona Cardinals (1-6)
So much promise. You remember it being good at one point but you’re not sure when that was. The plots make no sense. You keep waiting for it to get better and yet it gets worse. But mostly you keep watching just to see something crazy happen. Yep, that’s the Cardinals in a nutshell.
The World Series
Supernatural St. Louis Cardinals (3-1)
If they win the World Series, they’ll do so after winning two fewer games than the previous worst all-time champion, the 1987 Twins, who beat the Cardinals that year. They almost blew a 7½ game lead in 11 days. And yet here they are, one win away from hoisting the trophy.
Friday Night Smackdown! Detroit Tigers (1-3)
First of all, can everyone stop calling the Tigers a feel-good story? Where’s this angle coming from? The manager’s got a World Series ring already and most of the players on the team are under 30. The team hasn’t made the playoffs in 19 years—and this is due to a complete mismanagement of the team and its players. I’m missing the Hollywood story here. And then there’s Kenny Rogers, a de####able human being who topped off his lackluster career by showing a national television audience that he cheats. Anyone who thinks otherwise is either a Tigers fan or blind (or maybe both). But in Major League Baseball’s continuing attempt to become the new WWE, no one does anything about it. Why don’t they just come out with new rules that penalize guys that don’t use performance-enhancing substances, and let the pitchers and hitters do whatever they want to the ball at all times? Now that would make for riveting television.
NFL Week 8 Picks
GREEN BAY (-4) over Arizona CINCINNATI (-3½) over Atlanta NEW ORLEANS (-1½) over Baltimore TENNESSEE (-3) over Houston Jacksonville (+7½) over PHILADELPHIA CHICAGO (-15½) over San Francisco KANSAS CITY (-4) over Seattle Tampa Bay (+9½) over NY GIANTS St. Louis (+9½) over SAN DIEGO DENVER (-3) over Indianapolis NY Jets (+1½) over CLEVELAND Pittsburgh (-9) over OAKLAND CAROLINA (-5½) over Dallas New England (-2) over MINNESOTA
Remember that one Christmas when you got really bizarre gifts, instead of what you actually wanted? Every time you opened up one you thought, “Did I ask for this?” or, more frequently, “What the heck is this?” That same weird body-snatchers-stole-my-family Twilight Zone atmosphere was in the air after this weekend of NFL football. Most of the teams that should have won lost. Most of the teams that should have lost won. And I was on the road on Christmas Eve—away from my trusty DirecTV NFL Sunday Ticket—and, for the life of me, couldn’t figure out why FOX refused to show the end of the Atlanta-Tampa Bay overtime game. And you thought The Shining was scary.
I realize parity is the (worthwhile) goal of the NFL, but what about absurdity? The Cincinnati Bengals have a shot at a first round bye and they lose at home to Buffalo? The Giants and Panthers can wrap up their divisions with wins—but both lose? San Diego and Atlanta—two of the most talented teams in the NFL—will be sitting out the playoffs after failing to win on Saturday. Heck, even San Francisco screwed up this weekend. Their win over St. Louis might have cost them the #1 pick in the NFL draft. What are these teams thinking?
And speaking of what were you thinking—Jim Mora, Jr., what were you thinking? Talk about being a chip off the old block. His post-game tirade is right up there with dear old dad (“Playoffs?!?”). The Falcons coach was asked a simple question: Why on earth are you punting with one minute to go in overtime of a must-win game? Mora claims that he thought his team still had a shot at the playoffs if they lost and that he’s “not really one to play for ties.” So, instead of going for it on 4th down to give his team a chance to win, he punted and hoped for the tie. Why am I surprised that this team lost 7 games and will miss the playoffs?
The worst part of this whole story is that it should have been obvious that a loss or a tie was bad for the Falcons. If they finished in a tie there was no way they were catching Carolina or Tampa Bay in the standings (Tampa Bay would have owned the head-to-head tiebreaker thanks to their win earlier this season). With three other teams entering the day with the same record as Atlanta and fighting for a wild card spot, it didn’t take a brain surgeon, a mathematician, or NFL.com to figure out that the Falcons needed a win. Not a loss, a tie, or a forfeit—a win.
NFL coaches spend so much time being dishonest, distrusting, and evasive when dealing with the media, that it seems they refuse to read anything that’s written about their team. Even playoff scenarios. I’d like to help every coach fighting for the playoffs this weekend. I’ll start with this one premise: ties are bad. If you’re in overtime and have been told before the game that you need to win, consider yourself in 4-down territory. With me so far, Coach?
Next, if it’s a must-win, treat it as a must-win. If that means running trick plays, going for it on 4th down at odd moments, or pulling yo
