The passage of time in the NFL is marked by decades and the teams that tower over the rest of the field. Various teams win titles throughout each decade, but one team always wins the most championships and stands out as the Team of the Decade.
This is the way it’s been ever since the Green Bay Packers rolled to five NFL titles (including wins in the first two Super Bowls) in the 1960s. The Pittsburgh Steelers won four Super Bowls in the ‘70s, the San Francisco 49ers won four Super Bowls in the ‘80s, and the Dallas Cowboys won three Super Bowls in the ‘90s.
With three Super Bowls remaining in this decade (the ‘00s?), the Patriots are poised to claim the latest Team of the Decade designation. If they win this Sunday they will have four Super Bowl titles this decade. The most Super Bowl wins any other team has is one. Even if they were to somehow lose this weekend, only the Colts or Steelers would have a chance of matching their three titles and possessing a decade-long cache of winning. (Sorry, but even if the Ravens or Buccaneers win the next two Super Bowls, or the Giants win the next three, none of them could possibly be considered Team of the Decade.)
That means there’s even more pressure on the Patriots this Sunday. A win gives them the Super Bowl title, the first 19-0 season in NFL history, and Team of the Decade status.
Let’s take a look at the curriculum vitae for each Team of the Decade.
Green Bay Packers (1960s)
From 1960 through 1969, the Green Bay Packers were the class of the NFL. They had just one losing season (1968, the year after head coach Vince Lombardi stepped down) and won their division six times. The Packers won five of the six NFL Championship Games they played, and won the first two Super Bowls in NFL history. The Packers defined what the NFL was all about during the early years.
Best team of the decade: 1962. The ’62 Packers went 13-1, led the league in both offense and defense, outscored their opponents 415-148, and won the NFL Championship on the road, defeating the New York Giants 16-7.
Worst loss of the decade: The 1960 NFL Championship Game. Taking a 13-10 in the 4th quarter, the Eagles returned the ensuing kickoff 58 yards and eventually took a 17-13 lead. The Packers were stopped on the 8-yard line as time expired. The loss was their first (and only) postseason loss under Lombardi.
Defining games of the decade: Super Bowl I (a 35-10 thrashing of the upstart AFL Kansas City Chiefs) and the 1967 NFL Championship Game (the “Ice Bowl,” a 21-17 win over the Dallas Cowboys in sub-zero weather).
If not for the Packers, the Team of the Decade might have been: The Cleveland Browns. The Browns won five division titles in the ‘60s and took home the 1964 NFL Championship. They lost the 1965 Championship to Green Bay and did not return to the big game for the rest of the decade.
Pittsburgh Steelers (1970s)
Head coach Chuck Noll turned the Steelers from a 1-13 team in 1969 into the best team of the ‘70s. They had just two losing seasons (1970 and 1971), won their division eight years in a row, won four of the six AFC Championship Games they played, and won four Super Bowls. The Steel Curtain defense remains one of the iconic symbols of the NFL.
Best team of the decade: 1978. The ’78 Steelers went 14-2, led the league in defense, and had the 5th best offense. They won their first two playoff games by a combined score of 67-15 before defeating the Dallas Cowboys 35-31 in the Super Bowl.
Worst loss of the decade: The 1976 AFC Championship Game. Many people believe that Pittsburgh’s best team of the ‘70s was the ’76 edition. For the third straight year they played the Oakland Raiders in the Championship game, but with running backs Franco Harris and Rocky Bleier (who had combined for over 2,000 yards in the regular season) both out with injuries, the Raiders won 24-7 to advance to the Super Bowl.
Defining games of the decade: 1972 playoff victory over Oakland (that game that featured the “Immaculate Reception”) and Super Bowl XIII (their 35-31 win over Dallas is considered by many to be the best Super Bowl game of all time).
If not for the Steelers, the Team of the Decade might have been: The Oakland Raiders. The Raiders had 10 straight winning seasons under head coach John Madden in the ‘70s, but had just one Super Bowl win to show for their efforts. The Raiders lost playoff games to the Steelers three times in the ‘70s, with the Steelers winning Super Bowl titles twice after knocking off the Raiders in the AFC Championship game.
San Francisco 49ers (1980s)
Bill Walsh took over a 2-14 team in 1978 and turned the 49ers into one of the league’s most respected and envied franchises. The 49ers had just two losing seasons (1980 and 1982), won their division seven times, made the playoffs eight times, won four of the five NFC Championship Games they played, and won four Super Bowls. At the end of their run, Bill Walsh, quarterback Joe Montana, and wide receiver Jerry Rice were all considered with the best that ever coached and played the game.
Best team of the decade: 1984. The ’84 San Francisco 49ers went 15-1 with the league’s best defense and 2nd-best offense (second only to Dan Marino’s record-setting Dolphins). They won their first two playoff games by a combined score of 44-10 before defeating Marino’s Dolphins 38-16 in the Super Bowl.
Worst loss of the decade: The 1983 NFC Championship Game. Although the 49ers only went 10-6 in 1983, they were one win away from the Super Bowl when they traveled to Washington to take on the Redskins. Trailing 21-0 in the 4th quarter, the 49ers scored three quick touchdowns and tied the game 21-21 with less than seven minutes to play. But the Redskins—aided by a controversial pass interference call—marched 78 yards to set up kicker Mark Moseley for a 25-yard game-winning field goal. Moseley—who had missed four field goals throughout the game—nailed this one and sent the Redskins to the Super Bowl.
Defining games of the decade: The 1982 NFC Championship Game (the game that featured “The Catch”) and Super Bowl XXIII (Montana leads a 92-yard touchdown drive with 3:10 to go in the game).
If not for the 49ers, the Team of the Decade might have been: The Chicago Bears. The Bears won one Super Bowl in the ‘80s but lost to the 49ers twice in the NFC Championship Game (including once at home). The 49ers won the Super Bowl both times.
Dallas Cowboys (1990s)
The once-proud Cowboys were 3-13 during legendary head coach Tom Landry’s final season and fell to 1-15 in Jimmie Johnson’s first season. But three different head coaches—Johnson, Barry Switzer, and Chan Gailey—would lead the Cowboys to winning seasons in all but three years (1990, 1997, and 1999), six division titles, eight playoff appearances, three wins in four NFC Championship Games, and three Super Bowl titles.
Best team of the decade: 1992. The Cowboys went 13-3 and finished with the 2nd best offense and 5th best defense in the league. They won the NFC Championship Game in San Francisco and dismantled the Buffalo Bills 52-17 in the Super Bowl.
Worst loss of the decade: The 1994 NFC Championship Game. The Cowboys played the 49ers in the Championship Game for the 3rd straight year, and quarterback Troy Aikman entered the game undefeated in the playoffs (7-0). Aikman’s first interception of the game was returned for a touchdown. Wide receiver Cowboys wide receiver Michael Irvin lost a fumble on the next Dallas possession and kick returner Kevin Williams fumbled a kickoff, allowing San Francisco to take a 21-0 1st quarter lead, on their way to a 38-28 victory.
Defining games of the decade: The 1992 NFC Championship Game (Dallas won the game in San Francisco to advance to the franchise’s first Super Bowl in 14 years) and the 1995 NFC Championship Game (one year after losing to the 49ers in the penultimate game, the Cowboys withstood Brett Favre and the surging Packers 38-27 to advance to their third Super Bowl of the decade).
If not for the Cowboys, the Team of the Decade might have been: The San Francisco 49ers. With one Super Bowl and two NFC Championship Game losses to the Cowboys, the team of the ‘90s could have been the same as the team of the ‘80s if not for Dallas.
New England Patriots (2000s)
The New England Patriots have seven straight winning seasons, six division titles, six playoff appearances, four wins in five AFC Championship Games, and three Super Bowl titles. They also own the first undefeated season in 35 years and head to the Super Bowl this week in search of their fourth title of the decade.
Best team of the decade: 2007. The Patriots went 16-0 this season and are in the discussion as one of the greatest teams in NFL history.
Worst loss of the decade: The 2006 AFC Championship Game. The Patriots led the Indianapolis Colts 21-6 at halftime but the Colts scored 32 second half points on the way to a 38-34 win.
Defining games of the decade: The 2001 Divisional Playoff (“The Snow Game” or “The Tuck Rule Game”) and Super Bowl XXXVI (one of the greatest upsets in Super Bowl history).
If not for the Patriots, the Team of the Decade might have been: Either the Indianapolis Colts or the Pittsburgh Steelers. Both have one Super Bowl title and two playoff losses to the Patriots.
Mitch Albom had his Tuesdays with Morrie. The Missus and I have our Sundays with Andrew Siciliano.
Let’s start at the beginning, shall we? Back in 2001 we switched from cable to DirecTV. Why? The cost savings was the number one reason. But a close second was a little something called the NFL Sunday Ticket. This package allowed me to watch every single NFL game that’s on every single weekend. No longer did I have to scan the TV listings each week only to be disappointed that I would have to suffer through a game between two crappy teams while the game of the day was being shown in someone else’s house. No, now I had the power.
For six NFL seasons I reveled each Sunday with the NFL package. Feet up, clicker in hand, I was able to flip from game to game, catching all of the NFL action known to man. Then we got HD. And I didn’t think life could get any better.
Until we met Andrew.
I was a little leery at first of this creation that DirecTV calls the Red Zone Channel. The stated purposed was to show any game—live—once one team entered the red zone (inside their opponents’ 20-yard line). I thought, “There’s no way this will be better than flipping around.” And, “How on earth could they pull this off?”
Shocking but true, they do pull it off. And I haven’t watched a full non-Patriots Sunday afternoon game since.
Who is Andrew, you ask? That would be Andrew Siciliano, the host of the Red Zone Channel. Andrew sits at a desk staring at a bank of 15 television screens and previews the upcoming games of the day. As soon as the first game kicks off, he “grabs the remote” and takes us live to that game. From that point forward—whenever another game seems more appealing—he “bounces out” into that game. If one game is about to head to a commercial, he takes us to another game. Immediately. As a matter of fact, this past Sunday, I saw my first advertisement of any kind a full hour-and-a-half into the day’s action. At that point, with most games heading into halftime, we go live to Andrew’s studio and a voiceover reads, “The Red Zone Channel. Brought to you by Sony.” Then Andrew shows highlights from the first half. That’s it. That brief ad for Sony (and the Best Buy logo that is displayed when a final box score from a game is flashed on the screen) is all the advertising I see all day. (There’s no way that can continue—DirecTV has to think of a way to make more money from the advertisers, but I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.)
And Andrew somehow pulls off this near-impossible job of watching as many as 10 games at once almost seamlessly. A team is about to punt? Andrew breaks in and says, “We don’t show you punts here at the Red Zone Channel. Unless Devin Hester is involved.” The announcers for a particular game throw it back to New York for a highlight from another game? Andrew breaks in and says, “You just saw that. Let’s grab the remote and bounce out to another game.” He’s quick, he’s funny, and he’s got what seems like a dream job, as hard as it probably is to do.
The only complaint I have for Andrew? Sometimes he quits early. Some Sundays around 5:30, when the second round of Sunday games are going on, he lets us know that he’s shutting down for the day. He tells us what channel to find all the games on, but he’s out of there. I understood it the Sunday that the Patriots were playing the Colts—I mean who wanted to watch Houston-Oakland or Cleveland-Seattle when the Game of the Millennium was being played? But on a typical Sunday afternoon, I want Andrew running the switchboard and taking me around the league. When I’m spending 10 straight hours on the couch, expending energy by using the remote is pretty taxing.
Other than that, I have no complaints. The Missus and I love our Sundays with Andrew. He does all the heavy lifting, and we don’t have to search around for the game of the day. And with the Patriots playing a night game seemingly every week, we’ve had some time to really bond with Andrew and appreciate the man’s dedication to the NFL.
Dwelling on our latest find got me thinking about the revolutionary technological advancements that have come our way in the last 10 years. And I wondered where I would place Andrew’s channel. Let’s check out one man’s list:
The Sports in a Can Top 10 Technological Advancements of the Last 10 Years
1. The Internet 2. Email 3. Cellphones 4. TiVo 5. Wireless Internet access 6. High Definition television 7. NFL Sunday Ticket 8. iTunes 9. Tollbooth transponders 10. The Red Zone Channel
This list assumes the technological advancement had an impact on me, personally, so hybrid cars don’t make the list. Not yet, anyway. Maybe my next car. And if you want to quibble with the timing of some of them, so be it. I don’t remember when Al Gore invented the Internet, I just don’t recall it impacting my life pre-1997. Same goes for email. And cellphones have come a looong way since you had to carry around a phone booth to make a call. Those are easily my top three because each can end the phrase: “Do you remember what we did before _____?” TiVo has worked its way up to #4 and is nearing life-changing potential.
Andrew’s channel lands in 10th position and could threaten tollbooth transponders in the near future. That’s how life-altering it is.
Last week we watched a whiparound that included Jacksonville pulling away from Buffalo, Oakland upsetting Kansas City, Seattle holding on against St. Louis, and Tampa Bay holding on against Washington. All live. On a Sunday when the top five teams in the NFL weren’t playing, the excitement level was still high in the Sports in a Can living room.
We’ve got five more Sundays with Andrew before the Red Zone Channel goes dark for the winter. We’ll be enjoying every last second.Week 13 NFL Picks
DALLAS (-7) over Green Bay ST. LOUIS (-3) over Atlanta Buffalo (+5½) over WASHINGTON MINNESOTA (-3½) over Detroit TENNESSEE (-3½) over Houston INDIANAPOLIS (-6½) over Jacksonville MIAMI (-1) over NY Jets San Diego (-5½) over KANSAS CITY Seattle (+3) over PHILADELPHIA San Francisco (+3) over CAROLINA Cleveland (+1) over ARIZONA Denver (-3½) over OAKLAND CHICAGO (+1½) over NY Giants Tampa Bay (+3) over NEW ORLEANS PITTSBURGH (-7) over Cincinnati New England (-20½) over BALTIMORE
Sometime after Uncle Miltie became the face of television but before The Ed Sullivan Show hosted the Beatles, the NFL figured out that the way to become the new American Pastime was through the power of television. Since then Monday Night Football has become an institution, the Super Bowl is a de facto national holiday, and there has been one unforgettable wardrobe malfunction. Put simply: Life has never been the same since.
While there is nothing more enjoyable than an autumn Sunday afternoon, remote in hand, with multiple football games on DirecTV, there’s quite a backlog of quality television shows on my TiVo hard drive right now. Between returning favorites and new shows, it’s meant a lot of late nights of TV viewing for The Missus and me. I’m so tired that the TV shows and football teams are starting to blur together into some form of semi-reality.
So this week and next, I’m taking a look at this year’s NFL teams through the lens of the current slate of TV shows. We’ll go division by division, starting with the AFC this week, and the NFC next week.
AFC East
Lost New England Patriots (4-1)
Confusing. Mysterious. Strangely addictive. A cast who might not have starring roles on any other show. Copycats abound. But nothing is as good as the original. Somehow Lost keeps us coming back for more. And the Patriots just keep on winning.
Six Degrees New York Jets (3-3)
Although this show is a J.J. Abrams product, it’s definitely not Lost. It’s not Alias. Heck, it’s not even Felicity. One of the Lost knockoff shows, this one is basically the exact same show as Heroes. Except no one has super powers. And it’s not as good. Kind of like the Jets are to the Patriots right now.
Dateline: NBC Buffalo Bills (2-4)
What can I say about the Bills? They’re just kind of there right now. You can flip the channel and say, “Oh, the Bills are playing” in the same way you would flip the channel and say, “Oh, Dateline is on.” You’re really not impacted strongly either way, right? That’s the Bills right now. Of course, the folks in Buffalo don’t care that much anyway. The Sabres are 6-0 and 2 feet of snow fell last week. And yes, those two items were in order of importance to folks in Buffalo.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip Miami Dolphins (1-5)
Here’s the thing about Aaron Sorkin’s shows: They make you feel as though you’re part of something important. Obviously, working in the White House would have some air of importance about it anyway, but West Wing made it feel ultra-important. And he’s made us believe that working behind the scenes at a cable sports show (Sports Night) or Saturday Night Live would be a world-changing career. He should mix it up and tackle a different industry every week. Sanitation workers. Maids. The guys who carry those parabola-shaped microphones on football sidelines. Every episode would make you think, “Wow. Why am I wasting my life at this dead end job?” In reality, though, this show’s just not as good as either West Wing or Sports Night. For all the hype, it’s just another show. Just like the Dolphins.
AFC North
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition Baltimore Ravens (4-2)
Steve McNair was brought in to get the offense moving. They keep tinkering with the defense. Now head coach Brian Billick decides to fire offensive coordinator Jim Fassel. It’s Extreme Makeover: Ravens Edition. And yet there they are on top of the AFC North. The Ravens are strangely appealing. I don’t want to admit it, but I’m intrigued. Just as I am with Extreme Makeover.
Everybody Hates Chris Cincinnati Bengals (3-2)
Bengals’ wide receiver Chris Henry has been arrested four times in seven months. He’s the poster child for all that’s gone wrong with Cincinnati this year. A 3-0 start amidst all the arrests has quickly turned into a two-game losing streak. The Bengals can’t score points anymore. They just lost to Tampa Bay for crying out loud. If they lose again this week, head coach Marvin Lewis will hover over the panic button as if he were the North Korean leader. (By the way, I’ve never seen Everybody Hates Chris. I just wanted to use that title in here somewhere. And yes, I did just compare Marvin Lewis to Kim Jong-il.)
Heroes Pittsburgh Steelers (2-3)
A group of people has weird super powers and they’re all connected to each other somehow for a common purpose. There’s one man who knows how to unlock all of their potential. And there’s a bad guy or two hunting them down. It’s the same for the Steelers. They won the Super Bowl by winning three straight road games—a superhuman feat. Big Ben is the indestructible cheerleader. Bill Cowher somehow wills them to win games. And everyone in the league is gunning for the defending champs. They don’t have any super powers though. That we’re aware of anyway.
Men in Trees Cleveland Browns (1-4)
I really have nothing to say about the show or the team. So let’s instead talk about what I wanted to happen during the Joe Torre crisis last week. After the Yankees announced that Torre would remain as manager, I was rooting for Torre to come into his press conference the next day and pull a Belichick-quitting-the-Jets routine. He could have scrawled, “I quit as M of the NYY” on a napkin, turned to the camera, and shouted, “George, you can kiss my--.” I TiVo’d ESPN all afternoon just in case this happened. Oh well. You can add either a team that lost 119 games three years ago and hadn’t made the playoffs in 19 years or the team with the worst record ever for a World Series champion (St. Louis, 83-78) to the list of teams that have won the World Series since the Yankees’ last title. (The list already includes two franchises that are less than 13 years old and three habitual losers. Am I enjoying the Yankees Playoff Futility Era a bit too much? Maybe.)
AFC South
Two and a Half Men Indianapolis Colts (5-0)
Two and a Half Men is the highest rated comedy on TV. Again. The Colts are 5-0. Again. But, come summertime, you won’t be sitting around wishing for more episodes of Two and a Half Men. As usual. And come February, you won’t see the Colts playing in the Super Bowl. As usual.
Ugly Betty Jacksonville Jaguars (3-2)
You keep hoping that some other comedy will come along to make you laugh the way Seinfeld and Friends used to. But every time you turn on CBS, there’s a commercial for Two And a Half Men that touts it as the highest rated comedy on TV. And year after year it doesn’t change. Shockingly, Ugly Betty is now the second highest rated comedy on TV. To say the Jaguars win ugly is an understatement. They win, but they’ll keep looking up at the Colts in the standings until they find a way to beat them head to head and stop losing winnable games.
Friday Night Lights Houston Texans (1-4)
Sports television shows always sound like a good idea when they’re drawn up. “We’ll have the sports angle for guys and the soap opera qualities for women and it’ll be a can’t miss show!” But they always end up being crappy soap operas with pathetic sports scenes. I’m sure it seemed like a good idea to someone in the Texans organization to draft Mario Williams instead of Reggie Bush. But everyone else knew this was a disaster waiting to happen. Or a TV show waiting to be cancelled.
CBS Evening News with Katie Couric Tennessee Titans (1-5)
The savior arrived to take the Titans to the next level. And in the last two games they’ve played the Colts tough and won their first of the year. But it’s going to take a lot more than Vince Young to turn this team around. Now this Katie Couric thing is beyond me. After debuting with record viewers, the CBS newscast is now 3rd overall. Did someone forget to tell CBS that it’s still the nightly news? The Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders could read the news alongside the Chippendale dancers and you wouldn’t end up with many more viewers. Between the Internet, 24-hour news channels, and the fact that most people under 50 aren’t home from work by 6:30, should anyone be surprised by all of this?
AFC West
60 Minutes Denver Broncos (4-1)
Think about this: The Denver Broncos have won 61 games in the last 6 years, and they are currently 4-1. Now think about this: 60 Minutes was the 9th-most watched show last week. Somehow that show just keeps on ticking. (No pun intended. OK, it was intended.)One of these days 60 Minutes will stop showing up as a ratings winner. And one of these years the Broncos will stop winning games. But not this year.
Law and Order San Diego Chargers (4-1)
Same formula year after year. Take no chances. Change the characters but nothing else. Watch as the copycats (SVU and Criminal Intent) perform better than the original in the ratings by season's end. The conservative approach works. To a point. And that’s today’s San Diego Chargers. Head coach Marty Schottenheimer is more conservative than Rush Limbaugh. Expect another 11-win season and a first round playoff loss for San Diego.
Help Me Help You Kansas City Chiefs (2-3)
Once upon a time Ted Danson was on top of the world. He was the star of the hottest show on TV (Cheers), and he found his way to Hollywood (with Three Men and a Baby marking that zenith). But almost from the moment that he and his Cheers co-stars got drunk on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (whose idea was it to have them all hang out in a real bar for five hours?), it’s been a downward spiral of bad movies and TV shows, graying hair, and a bizarre relationship with Whoopi Goldberg that no one really ever explained. (Remember Made in America, starring Ted and Whoopi? Possibly one of the worst movies of all time.) In case you’re missing the connection, the part of Ted Danson will now be played by Chiefs head coach Herm Edwards.
Runaway and Smith Oakland (0-5)
The worst team in football gets two picks just because they are so bad. Never heard of Runaway? It was the lowest rated primetime television show (it was on the CW and starred Donnie Wahlberg) until it got cancelled this week. Randy Moss wanted to run away but no one would let him. It should be fun watching his head implode each week as Oakland loses game after game. Meanwhile, Smith was a show that was based around a group of criminals with no redeeming characteristics. If that doesn’t sum up the Raiders—a franchise with no redeeming characteristics—I don’t know what does.
Next week: The NFC
NFL Week 7 Picks
Another solid week last week. Of course I didn't make any baseball picks and that probably helped...
CINCINNATI (-3) over Carolina NY JETS (-3.5) over Detroit Green Bay (+5.5) over MIAMI Jacksonville (-9.5) over HOUSTON New England (-5.5) over BUFFALO Philadelphia (-5.5) over TAMPA BAY Pittsburgh (-2.5) over ATLANTA San Diego (-5) over KANSAS CITY CLEVELAND (+4.5) over Denver OAKLAND (+3) over Arizona SEATTLE (-6.5) over Minnesota Washington (+9) over INDIANAPOLIS DALLAS (-3) over NY Giants
The important thing to remember as a player, fan, or gambler, is never to get too excited about a win or too despondent about a loss. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. You can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs. We have miles to go before we sleep. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. I’m sure one of those old expressions works here.
And so here we are after Week 1 of the NFL season. Are you still in your elimination pool, or did you pick Kansas City or Carolina? Did your fantasy team get a surprise gift from Chad Pennington, or did you rue the fact that you don’t have LaDainian Tomlinson? Again. And how’s that Reggie Bush bet working out so far? (58 yards rushing, on pace for 928 this season.)
It’s only one week. That’s what we have to keep telling ourselves. The folks at Sports Illustrated could still get their predicted Super Bowl match-up. Even if Carolina was shut out at home and the Dolphins’ offense looked as if they just met in the huddle for the first time. (“Hi, I’m Daunte. Yes, you can pet my seeing-eye dog. What’s your name?”) And yours truly was left to wonder how two of my first predictions of the year—that the Colts would lose to the Giants and that both the Giants and Cowboys would win their first five games—could go awry so quickly.
But we carry on. That’s what we do. Even with a pathetic 5-11 opening week, I’m not feeling too low. It’s a long season, and every week is a learning process. So we’ll go game by game this week and try to apply what we learned from watching last week’s games.
Buffalo at Miami (-6½)
The Bills’ defense might just be better than I thought. And it’s the only way they’ll win any games, because J.P. Losman is awful. How can you take a safety late in the 4th quarter of a tie game? And who’s calling the plays for the Bills, anyway, their 87-year-old owner? Back-to-back 5 step drops into the end zone? Brilliant. And yes, the Dolphins will play better. But not that much better. Pick: Dolphins
Carolina at Minnesota (E)
One of my bright spots last week was nailing the Panthers’ loss in Week 1. They just might be in an 0-2 hole after this one. Pick: Vikings
Cleveland at Cincinnati (-10½)
When assessing the Browns I forgot that Charlie Frye was their quarterback. If you just said, “Who?” then you know what I mean. And I might just have underestimated the Bengals, especially this early in the season. The inevitable implosion will probably come much later. For now they’ll keep riding the wave of emotion of having Carson Palmer back. Pick: Bengals
Detroit at Chicago (-8½)
Let’s not get too excited about the Bears’ opening week performance against the Packers. Their first real test comes next week against the Vikings. But if they’re looking ahead, this might end up being a trap game for them. The Lions’ defense looked great against Seattle last week. But maybe Seattle’s just not that good. This one could be a 0-0 tie. Pick: Lions
Houston at Indianapolis (-13½)
There are times when this Colts offense still looks like a video game. That was a big road win last week, but Indy had to settle for a lot of field goals. (Think they’re happy they’ve got Adam Vinatieri instead of Vanderjerk—who didn’t even suit up for the Cowboys this week?) The Texans looked good last week. For about 10 minutes. I can’t believe the spread is so low on this game. I’d still take the Colts giving 20. Pick: Colts
New Orleans (-2) at Green Bay
Which is Brett Favre reconsidering more: his “this is the most talented team I’ve ever been on” quote or his not retiring? When the Saints finally play a good team (next week), we’ll be able to assess how good they are. Pick: Saints
New York Giants at Philadelphia (-3)
I’m not backing down. The Giants will win a ton of games. And the Eagles will lose a ton of games. No matter what I witnessed last week. Pick: Giants
Oakland at Baltimore (-12½)
If you never show up at all, can it be said that you quit on your coach? Is there another phrase we can use for the Raiders of 2006? Let’s call them unconscientious objectors. Meanwhile, you gotta like what you saw from the Ravens last week. The defense looked inspired, Steve McNair guided the offense like a well-oiled machine, and head coach Brian Billick was as smug as ever. You gotta like it—unless you hate the Ravens. Pick: Ravens
Tampa Bay at Atlanta (-5½)
What the heck was that from the Bucs last week? An aberration? Do they bounce back this week against the Falcons, who might just play a letdown game after a big win in Carolina? Call me crazy, but I might just pick the road team every time Tampa Bay, Atlanta, and Carolina play each other. Pick: Bucs
Arizona at Seattle (-7)
The Cards’ offense gave us what we expected (300+ yards passing from Warner, 73 yards rushing from James, and 195 yards receiving for Fitzgerald and Bolden). I’m just not sure their defense will stop anyone this year. Let’s call ‘em the Greatest Show in the Desert. Seattle, meanwhile, what can I say? They’re destined not to make the playoffs. It’s not their fault; it’s fate. Pick: Cardinals
St. Louis (-3) at San Francisco
There’s not enough money nor alcohol in the world to make me watch or talk about this game. Pick: Rams
Kansas City at Denver (-11)
For Kansas City, it’s the great unknown: injuries. For Denver, it’s the other great unknown: Jake Plummer’s performance. Pick: Chiefs
New England (-6) at New York Jets
The Jets barely beat a bad Titans team (and almost blew the game). Settle down Fireman Jim. For the Patriots, last week was a gut-check win. Pick: Patriots
Tennessee at San Diego (-11½)
The Chargers’ first three weeks look like this: at Oakland, Tennessee, Bye. Or, put in the immortal words of N’Sync: Bye, Bye, Bye. Pick: Chargers
Washington at Dallas (-6)
Drew, Drew, Drew. Will things never change? It’s almost as if there were two Drews: the Good Drew and the Evil Drew. The Good Drew recognizes coverages and utilizes the talent he has to lead his team to 10 quick points. Then Evil Drew shows up, firing the ball off the wrong foot while stumbling backward, trying to make impossible, ill-advised throws. For Washington, a close loss such as the one that they had tells you a lot about the kind of team they are. And not in a good way. Pick: Cowboys
Monday Night Football Pittsburgh (-1½) at Jacksonville
Charlie Batch, Ben Roethlisberger, does it matter who quarterbacks the Steelers? Not if they keep playing defense the way they did last week. By the way, I’m not spending a lot of time thinking about this game, because I know I’m going to pick the winner. Although I was 2-11 on Sunday last week, I went 3-0 on Thursday and Monday. I have the Midas touch on all days that don’t start with “Sunday!” Pick: Jaguars
Are you ready for some football? I know I am. It’s been a long 211 days since SB XL.
In Part One of the Sports in a Can 2006 NFL Preview, let’s take a look at the most important items that will affect us for the 2006-07 season.
Monday Night Football
ABC will no longer be the home for Monday Night Football. ESPN takes control of the reins this year. The musical intro won’t change, but the new crew of Mike Tirico, Joe Theismann, and Tony Kornheiser (of Pardon the Interruption fame) will be bringing you the action. (And the real possibility of Kornheiser and Theismann coming to blows in the booth will keep me watching week after week.) Games will begin a half hour earlier (8:30pm Eastern). To kick off the festivities, ESPN will show a doubleheader on the first night, with the first game starting at 7pm and the second at 10:15pm. If you live on the East Coast and can stay up past 1:30am for the end of Raiders-Chargers, you deserve either to receive a prize or to be locked up.
Old faces in new places
Terrell Owens is a Cowboy. Keyshawn Johnson is a Panther. Drew Brees is a Saint. Edgerrin James is a Cardinal. Steve McNair is a Raven. If all of this is confusing to you, I have an easy solution: Just find someone without a tan and ask him where all of the good players are playing this year. (Chances are good that any untanned male aged 15 to 35 has spent the last few weeks behind closed doors researching for his Fantasy Football draft.)
Sunday Night Football
With ESPN taking over the Monday games, NBC returns to televising football for the first time in almost 10 years. They’ll have John Madden and Al Michaels—the MNF tandem for the last four years—calling the games. Even bigger news is the first ever flexible schedule that will be in use this year. In 6 of the final 7 weeks, NBC will get to choose what game to show Sunday night. There are all kinds of rules surrounding the plan (more than any human need know), so I won’t bore you with those. Just know that 49ers-Cardinals shouldn’t be on your TV in primetime in December.
The rookie class
Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart. Those are the two players to watch from the draft of ’06. The great debate about Bush rages on among fans. Meanwhile Leinart will be debating with anyone who will listen that he’ll be a better NFL quarterback than most people think.
Thursday and Saturday night games
Because the NFL would like nothing more that to be a 7 day league, there will be two extra nights of football late in the season. Beginning Thanksgiving night, NFL Network will be showing a Thursday night game. There will also be several Saturday night games. Bryant Gumbel and Chris Collinsworth will be calling the games (as long as Gumbel keeps his foot out of his mouth and doesn’t get fired before the games even begin). Don’t have NFL Network? Call your cable operator and demand it. Just be sure to be home between 11am and 3am—someone from the cable company will arrive during those hours.
The fleecing of America
There will be fewer games on Sunday afternoons this year than there were last year. Plus, thanks to the late season flexible schedule, 6 of the “better” games will be switched away from Sunday afternoon. And yet DirecTV still made me pay more for NFL Sunday Ticket this year—even though I can watch fewer and lesser games. Can someone get Congress involved here? I was robbed.
New Orleans plays football at home again
One year and four weeks removed from Hurricane Katrina, the Saints will play their first home game in the Superdome since ’04. While the gnashing of teeth continues surrounding the government’s role (or lack thereof) in the evacuation last year, no one seems to be asking another important question: After getting screwed out of a home game last year, why didn’t anyone think ahead to rectify that situation this year? The Saints’ home opener against the Giants last year was moved to New York, essentially giving the Giants one more home game. Guess what? They play each other again this year. In New York. Again. Why didn’t the NFL announce that the Giants would play at home—in New Orleans? What goes around comes around.
New commissioner
There will be a new commissioner of the NFL this year. His name is Roger Goodell. This should not affect you one iota.
Yes, the preseason is too long/meaningless
“Oh, summer’s almost over.” “It’s getting darker earlier.” “The preseason is too long.” “The games are meaningless.” Must we play these broken records year after year? I’m sorry that summer only lasts two months (at most). And I don’t need a month’s worth of preseason games any more than you do. But there’s not much we can do about it, is there? The players want fewer games. Most coaches want fewer games. The fans want fewer games. Why the heck do they play so many? I don’t know. Maybe we should talk to the new commissioner.
New uniforms
If you’ve watched any preseason football you probably had the same reaction I did: “What the heck are the referees wearing?” For the first time since the pre-Super Bowl era, the officials’ duds got a redesign. The shirts look like the throwback uniforms that the Bears wear sometimes. Only with big puffy collars. I once had a shirt like that—when I was in the 2nd grade. It’s a little jarring. I almost had to turn the TV off when the Packers played the Bengals last Monday night. It’s bad enough having the yellow and orange combo on the field. Throw in those weird black and white shirts and it looked like a bad Jackson Pollock painting.
Opening Night
What musical act is performing Thursday night prior to the Steelers-Dolphins game? Rascal Flatts. Nothing says Pittsburgh like country music, right?
That guy’s still alive?
Here’s one thing you can count on: If your team just signed a quarterback that no one else wanted with two weeks left in the preseason, they are guaranteed to win fewer than 6 games. Guaranteed. The Titans were so thrilled with the play of Billy Volek and rookie Vince Young that they signed Kerry Collins—who remarkably was without a job after leading the Oakland Raiders to 6 straight losses to close out last season. Not to be outdone, the Raiders decided to add a veteran to their quarterback mix. Jeff George—who hasn’t thrown an NFL pass since 2001—was a member of the Raiders for all of a week. I hear “Jeff George” and I think of Tecmo Bowl—the last great pre-realistic sports game. That was 16 years ago.
XLI
That’s Roman for 41. This is the number Super Bowl that will be played in Miami in just 153 days. Let’s get ready for some football.
Michael Jordan had his 55-point explosion against the Knicks in 1995. George Foreman had his epic 12-round title match with Evander Holyfield in 1991. Roger Clemens had a season for the ages with an ERA of 1.87. All of these extraordinary efforts came after these athletes returned from retirement. Now, add me, the author of the Sports in a Can blog, to the mix.
That’s right, yours truly has returned from an “unofficial” retirement from pick-up basketball. It’s been tough finding games in my neighborhood that aren’t dominated by 18-year-old studs who can dunk in their sleep. So when my friend Murph told me that some hoops action that was more my speed was going down—I was in.
I hadn’t played in over a year and a half, and it sure showed that first night. As I ran up the court for the first time I thought, “Is this what a heart attack feels like?” I’m convinced that the pounding in my chest almost broke a rib. But I kept going, and, three weeks later, I was slowly rounding back into form.
Just for some history here, I never was nor did I profess to be a good basketball player. My brother was the jock in my family—varsity basketball, baseball, and football. I was—so goes the joke now—the uncoordinated one. I played JV hoops through junior year, but knee problems prevented me from trying out for varsity my senior year (or, more likely, prevented me from getting cut from the team).
In college, though, I was part of one of the best darn intramural basketball teams that ever suited up on the East Coast. I still wasn’t anywhere near the player I wanted to be. I was all defense back then, and let my teammates carry the offensive load. (After practically dislocating my thumb, I actually wore Dennis Rodman’s number for a while, just to show that I was all defense and no offense.)
Post-college, I started developing my shooting touch. Which was good, considering that my defensive skills were starting to slip with age. I slowly turned into a dangerous little streak shooter. That is, until my local pick-up companions all moved away and there were no other viable hoop options. Until recently.
The pick-up hoop games work like this: shots are worth 1 point each, except for 3-pointers, which are worth 2. You play to 11, winning by 2. Tuesday night started out OK. Over the course of the first two games, I barely touch the ball. An 0-for-3 is all I have to show for the night. (I am notorious for never knowing the scores of games. It’s probably because I’m too busy keeping track of my own stats. Hey, no one else is going to, you know?)
In the 3rd game, I draw the unenviable task of guarding the best player on the court. I take it as a personal challenge, and it is if I’m back in college wearing Rodman’s number all over again. Not only do I hold him scoreless for the entire game, but he only takes two shots thanks to my smothering defense. Given how much energy I am expending on defense, though, I barely even look for the ball on offense. But the only shot I do take is the game winner, leaving me 1-for-4 for the night.
Next up is TheGame. For whatever reason, the team we are playing decides to play zone. Zone. In a pick-up game! Practically unheard of. Well, it is music to my ears. My teammates and I attack this zone with the precision of Princeton and the shooting touch of Duke. I hit my first two jumpers and remember thinking: “I’m on fire now.” A 3-pointer from the top of the key confirms it: this train is pulling into the station known only as, the Zone. When I sneak in behind the defense near the baseline and can an impossible, almost behind the backboard, jumper, even my teammates see something magical is happening.
My only miss of the game goes just in and out, but a steal down the other end sends us back on a 3-on-1 break. I finish the fast break with a nifty driving lay-up under the outstretched arm of the defender. Next time down the court, I hear something I have never heard before in reference to me: “Double the guy in the corner.” I almost double over laughing, thinking: “He’s talking about me?” One of my teammates barks out an order: “Get Gray the ball.” (That would be me. I am wearing a gray T-shirt and no one knows anyone’s names). Sure enough, a pick gets me free near the foul line, and I can another jumper over two defenders. I am now 6-for-7 for the game, and we hold a 10-8 advantage. So far, I have scored 7 of our 10 points, and am looking forward to hitting yet another game-winning shot.
Here’s what my shot chart looks like for the game:
Alas, I don’t get another shot off. And we actually lose the game, thanks to a 4-0 run by our opponents. My guy actually hits the game winner right in front of me. It is a pretty depressing way to end the game but, not unlike the games of Wilt Chamberlain or Dominique Wilkins, this one would be remembered for the points I put up, not for the game’s outcome.
…Which gets me thinking. Is it any wonder that today’s players turn into egomaniacs? I mean I just wrote God-knows-how-many words and had the Can’s talented illustrator, Rob, draw a shot chart for me for a pick-up basketball game. Could you imagine if I were a pro athlete? My inflated ego could rival Randy Moss or Terrell Owens any day of the week. Give me the damn ball. Of course I deserve more money. You guys would be nothing without me. I’m bigger than the sport itself.
Is it just human nature? Is it the money and the fame? I’m not sure. But it sure isn’t getting any better. Holdouts. Contract disputes. Arrests. Teammates fighting teammates. And all the while the next generation of superstars is looking up to these guys.
So next time I’m on the court, I’ll try to set an example for the younger guys. I’ll try not to strut and pose and demand the ball. I’ll try not to embarrass my opponents while shooting the lights out. It’s the least I can do, after all.
Darren Kelly got tired of waiting for his ship to come in. A lifelong sports fan, he wants nothing more than for his full-time job to involve watching and writing about sports. To this end, he launched Sports in a Can. There's no money in it...yet. More of his fine writing is available on the Patriots Insider website: http://patrio ts.scout.com.
