Want to make this short and sweet. It's pretty obvious that what started as a great thing (anyone else remember how great this site was at the beginning of December?) has quickly turned into a scandal filled nightmare. I long for the days when I could come here and read 10 new great articles an hour. I'm just saying I miss this site being about sports. Unfortunately the bitterness of the contest and then the lack of an authority type presence has led to the inmates running the nut house. FoxSports had an opportunity to make this great, but they dropped the ball, failed to nurture the growing site and now everyday finds another of my favorite writers disappearing from this site and another possible scandal uncovered. If a site ever opens up that mimics the early days of this site, someone please let me know, as you will gain a faithful reader. I will of course continue writing my articles, just they will now only be posted on my original site. If anyone out there is interested in finding my new stuff, then drop me a line at ddks_sectionb@yahoo.com and I'll point you in the right direction. To everyone else, it's been a blast. I'm not a professional sports writer and never will be, but talking sports never gets old and what I learned most from this experience is that the depth of creativity and sports knowledge out there is bigger than I could have ever imagined. I hope all of you continue to post somewhere because the talent is there. You may see me check back in every now and again to read up on some of my new favorite writers, but as far as posts to this site go, this is my farewell. Good luck and best wishes to all of you. Hope to "see" a lot of you again some day.

-SportsDude-

            The New York Mets and their fans have spent most of the last decade and a half trapped in the shadow of the New York Yankees.  The Yankees were the team with the abundance of cash, the flashy name players, and most importantly the W’s in the record column, while the Mets repeatedly floundered near the bottom of the NL standings no matter what they tried.  Now the Mets seem to be on the right track with an ever expanding payroll and a GM who isn’t afraid to target every big name on the market.  If you’re a Mets fan, then it’s an exciting time as your dreams of taking back the city from the Yankees finally seem to be within reach.  A word of caution though, before you get too carried away with the direction your team is heading you might want to take a second to realize that thanks in large part to the Yankees, your window for spending your way to a World Series title is quickly closing.

            Anyone who takes a look at the current baseball market can see that things are beginning to spiral out of control.  Payrolls are on the rise for just about every team as each winter brings new free agent contracts that only escalate the asking price of the players coming out the following year.  If the top pitcher on the market was worth 12 million a year this year, then next year it’s going to take at least 13 million just to get into the running.  The fact that A.J. Burnett somehow wound up with a 55 million dollar deal over the next 5 years only to be topped by Kevin Millwood and his 60 million dollar deal over 5 years further illustrates my point.  Burnett isn’t even going to be the number one guy in Toronto, Roy Halladay is, which just goes to show you that when a true ace gets onto the open market, there is no way he is going to sign for less than the 11 million a year Burnett is getting.  Baseball is quickly finding itself on a slippery slope to a labor dispute and if these early warning sides do explode into a full scale labor war, you can bet that many owners are going to be pushing hard for a salary cap.

            According to last year’s published numbers, 11 teams spent over 80 million on player salaries (The Yankees led the way at just under 206 million).  Contrasting that number, 8 teams spent less than 50 million dollars (The Devil Rays were the bottom spender at just under 30 million).  As you can see the gap between the top team and the bottom team is somewhere in the neighborhood of 176 million dollars.  In fact, you can take the combined salaries paid of the bottom 5 teams (Devil Rays, Royals, Pirates, Brewers, and Indians) and still be over 19 million short of reaching what the Yankees spent.  Now I hear the argument all the time that the Yankees spend it because the Yankees make it and I’m going to say that’s a bad argument.  What I am going to say is that regardless of whether or not they make it, the league is not better off for having them spend it.  The Yankee’s years of overpaying for talent have not only driven up the price of top players, but also what other teams have to pay to attract even mediocre talent.  Let’s take a look at the Devil Rays again real quick.  If they wanted to go out and sign Kevin Millwood, who is a better than average starter, but clearly not an ace, they would have to spend more than one third of what they paid their entire team last year, just for the right to have him pitch for them in 2006.  Now I realize that sports is a very lucrative business and that major league baseball does pretty well for itself but all the players who are maxing out their value now are doing is minimizing what future players will make.  At some point, every spending spree has a breaking point and Major League Baseball is very close to theirs.

            The one other comment that I always here when it comes to people claiming there will never be a cap in baseball is that the small market teams don’t mind because at the end of the year, the teams like the Yankees that spend all the money cut them a big check through revenue sharing.  When it comes to the actual people who run and own these teams this may be true, but there also comes a point when the business has to listen to the people whose money keeps it running.  The plain fact of the matter is that MLB risks alienating a large portion of its fan base as the gap between the few top spending teams and the rest of the league continues to widen.  It’s not that a team that doesn’t spend widely can’t compete; it’s just that the odds of them competing consistently over an extended time is slim to none.  Another side effect is that big name players rarely stay with the smaller market teams because they just can’t pay them what the big boys can offer.      Nobody likes following the career of a young player up to the big league team only to see him bolt the second he becomes eligible for free agency to a team that can pay him the most like the Yankees or Red Sox.  The player isn’t to blame for trying to maximize his value, but the only recourse the owners have is to institute a system that limits the amount of money that can be spent.  Even in a salary cap system the teams that make the most money will still attract the top talent.  Not every team is going to spend up to the cap level (although I do think they should have a lower cap as well like hockey has), so the teams that do will still come away with the top talent in free agency.  What the salary cap system does is limit the dollar value range that can separate the spending teams from the conservative teams, which gives every team a better shot of fielding a competitive team. 

            The current MLB labor deal runs through the end of 2006 at which time the rumblings of a cap system will probably be heard from coast to coast.  The system has already been proven to be successful in the NFL and so far the results are looking pretty good in hockey as well.  Most importantly since every team would find itself in a competitive situation, fans around the country would really embrace this as a way of bringing back what was once America’s game.  Getting back to the Mets, it looks like they are finally ready to step up and start printing money like the Yankees.  Unfortunately for them this year may be their last chance to take advantage of the system until a salary cap forces teams into shedding some of their bigger contracts.  Hope for a World Series in 2006 Mets fans, because once the current labor contract expires, the days of trying to buy a spot in the World Series may be over.

Before I get to today’s article, I wanted to take a chance to answer some of the questions that have been coming up as this competition enters its final days.

What happens if you aren’t selected for the final 16?  Is that the end of the SportsDude?

This contest wasn’t the beginning of the SportsDude and it certainly won’t be the end of him either.  If anything my passion for what I do has been reignited by this competition.  If I don’t make the final 16 or am eliminated at any time during the finals then this space will be where you will need to visit for all your SportsDude information.  Chances are, I will go back to having my articles posted on the website I was using before this contest, but I would like to at least put a copy of my article up on this site for the next few months.  Eventually, you may have to follow me to another site to keep reading my articles, but we can talk more about this if/when the situation comes about.

If you don’t make the final 16 are you going to join in the judge bashing that is sure to occur over the selections?

Sorry, anyone who has been following my articles throughout this contest should know that isn’t my style by now.  The judges have to pick the 16 contestants they think will work best for their company.  If that isn’t me, then I’ll certainly be disappointed, but I also won’t hold any grudges.  I believe I have it in me to make a successful career out of sports writing.  If that opportunity doesn’t come at FoxSports, well then there are still plenty of other fish in the water so to speak.  Besides, I do this because I love to do it.  I’ve never received one cent for my work, yet I still come running back to the computer day after day to punch out another article.  If I had to choose between winning this contest or winning over 100 new fans, I’d take the fans everyday of the week.  But again, that’s just my style.

One more piece of housekeeping, then on to the column.  Since tomorrow will probably be a hectic day as I try to churn out a few more columns for everyone, I wanted to take this chance to say thank you.  To those of you who have been checking my articles on a regular basis or who have added me to your favorites, or who even just pop in from time to time, thanks, it has meant a lot to me.  I hope you all found something you liked about my column and I also hope I was able to contribute something to all of yours whether it be through comments I left or by just being a fan.  There are a lot of talented people in our little nation of bloggers and it will be with a great deal of pride that I will follow one of us through this contest into the national limelight writing actual articles for the main website page.  For everyone else, don’t stop following your dream.  Keep writing what you want to write and keep believing in what you believe and I certainly won’t be shocked if this isn’t the last time I hear from a lot of you.  This contest has been a lot of fun, but it’s not the end all be all.  If you can write a first class column in this environment, then you can do it anywhere.  I wish each of you the best of luck on all your future writing pursuits.

Now that all the cleanup stuff is out of the way, let’s talk about today’s column.  The SportsDude is truly one of the biggest NFL draft nuts on the planet.  Since I’ve been old enough to stop getting toys, it’s really been my Christmas.  Since my Eagles have been a total bust this year, I’m already counting down the days till next years draft (122 in case you were wondering).  This will be the first time the Eagles will be picking in the top 15 in at least the last 6 years.  I know you can’t get a true sense on how good a draft class is going to be until they’ve been in the league at least three years, but what I was wondering was, how much immediate help can a team get from a guy in the draft?  In the Eagles case, I believe if they get healthy they can compete for the NFC again next year, so getting a contributor in the draft could go a long way in helping them get back to the playoffs.  To try and figure this all out I thought I would take a look back at last year’s draft and see how much the first round choice of each team has contributed to their team’s success as a rookie.  I’m going to keep a count of guys who contributed vs. guys who didn’t, to help me get an idea of whether or not I can expect the Eagles to get an impact player in the draft.   Remember, I’m judging their 2005 value, not future worth.

Pick #1 – SF - Alex Smith, QB:  (Key stats: Games started – 6, Passing yards – 716, TD’s – 0 throwing; 0 rushing, INTs – 10) Yikes, I didn’t even realize Smith’s number where THIS bad.  You can’t have a worse TD to INT ratio then his and he’s averaging only slightly over 100 yards passing per start.  I’m willing to cut him some slack since the rest of the team surrounding him isn’t very good, but you’d have to say he hasn’t made much of an impact on this 49ers team this year.  This can’t be what Mike Nolan was hoping for when he drafted him. Impact Scoreboard: (0-1)

Pick #2 – MIA - Ronnie Brown, RB:  (Key stats: Games started – 14, Rushing yards – 886, TD’s – 4 rushing; 1 receiving, Fumbles – 4)  We see a much better contribution line out of the second pick, but running backs tend to produce more out of the gate then QBs anyway.  While this certainly isn’t number 2 pick in the draft numbers, Brown has split carries with Ricky Williams so I have to figure that in as well.  It doesn’t look like he will crack 1,000 yard rushing, but Brown has been a big part of what Saban has been able to accomplish down their in Miami. Impact Scoreboard: (1-2)

Pick #3 – CLE – Braylon Edwards, WR:  (Key stats: Games started – 7, Receptions – 32, Receiving yards – 512, TD’s – 3 receiving)  Edwards was lost for the season after playing in only 10 games, but if we project out his numbers based on what he produced in the first 10 game he ends up somewhere in the neighborhood of 850 receiving yards.  He was starting to become more of a threat when he was injured and it would have been nice to see what kind of chemistry he and Frye could have developed.  Still, he was Cleveland’s best wide receiving threat some games so that means he did have a significant impact on the team. Impact Scoreboard: (2-3)

Pick #4 – CHI – Cedrick Benson, RB:  (Key stats: Games started – 1, Rushing yards – 237, TD’s – 0 rushing; 0 receiving, Fumbles – 1)  Benson held out of training camp which allowed Thomas Jones to gain hold of the job and run away with it.  An injury to Jones did briefly open the door for Benson to get a start, but he suffered a knee injury during the game and has not returned since.  As good of a feel good story as the Bears have been this year, imagine how dangerous they could be if they would have taken a player in the first round that would have contributed this year.  Next year looks like it will only bring another running back controversy to the windy city. Impact Scoreboard: (2-4)

 Pick #5 – TB – Cadillac Williams, RB:  (Key stats: Games started – 13, Rushing yards – 1097, TD’s – 6 rushing; 0 receiving, Fumbles – 2)  The Bucs are a team that loves to be able to run the ball and Cadillac has provided them with a perfect weapon to do so.  He’s missed a couple of games due to injury, but has been the most productive back out of the big three that went on draft day.  I think it’s fair to say the Bucs are in a better position this year thanks to this draft pick. Impact Scoreboard: (3-5)

Pick #6 – TEN – Adam “Pacman” Jones, CB:  (Key stats: Games – 14,  Tackles – 42, INTs – 0, Passes defended  – 9)  Nine passes defended isn’t a bad number as a rookie, but the zero interceptions leave a lot to be desired.  He also is a constant threat to do something stupid and end up in jail.  Pacman has, however, been acting as the primary kick and punt returner and has returned a punt for a touchdown so his value does increase some there.  He’s probably boarder line each way right now, but we’ll say that’s close enough to have made an impact.   Impact Scoreboard: (4-6)

Pick #7 – MIN – Troy Williamson, WR:  (Key stats: Games started – 3, Receptions – 22, Receiving yards – 360, TD’s – 2 receiving)  Williamson is definitely going down as a bust in my book.  The Vikings drafted him hoping he could pick up some of the slack left over from the Randy Moss trade.  Williamson was never able to crack into the top 2 spots, which says a lot since the Vikings haven’t produced much of anything from their top 2 wide receiver spots this year.  Troy has shown some deep speed ability, but has not shown it consistently enough for me to say the Vikings got 2005 value out of the 7^th spot in the draft. Impact Scoreboard: (4-7)

Pick #8 – ARZ – Antrel Rolle, CB:  (Key stats: Games – 5,  Tackles – 26, INTs – 1, Passes defended  – 1)  I’m giving Rolle a bit of a mulligan since he was lost for the year after playing in only 5 games.  The one number that does jump out at me is he only has 1 pass defended in 5 games.  That is far from a great number, but then again, he isn’t surrounded by much defensive talent so that could be the result of opposing QBs just picking on other areas of the defense.  I’m looking forward to seeing what he brings to the table next season. Impact Scoreboard: (4-8)

 Pick #9 – WAS – Carlos Rogers, CB:  (Key stats: Games – 12,  Tackles – 42, INTs – 2, Passes defended  – 2)  Again, the passes defended is a lower than I would like to see out of a rookie corner, but he rest of the number tell the tale of a corner coming into his own.  Having played in 12 games shows that the team has confidence in him and he has rewarded their confidence with a pair of picks.  I’ve watched a bunch of Redskin’s games this year and I don’t remember him jumping out at me, but it looks like he’s put a solid rookie season in place that he can build off of for the future. Impact Scoreboard: (5-9)

Pick #10 – DET – Mike Williams, WR:  (Key stats: Games started – 4, Receptions – 29, Receiving yards – 350, TD’s – 1 receiving)  As far as value to a team goes, this may be the worst pick of the draft.  Most people bashed the pick when it happened and nothing that has happened this year has done much to change that opinion.  Stuck behind two other first round wide receiver picks, Williams has been as big of a bust as Troy Williamson.  Still, I’m not sure how much of this is his fault and how much is the fault of the Lion’s organization. Impact Scoreboard: (5-10)

Pick #11 – DAL – DeMarcus Ware, OLB:  (Key stats: Games – 15, Solo Tackles – 44, Sacks – 7)  Hard to argue with the value of this pick.  Ware is as much a DE as he is an OLB, it’s just that Dallas runs the 3-4, so he can rush the passer better from the OLB position.  44 tackles and 7 sacks in 15 games are numbers any rookie can be proud of.  When you pick 11^th, and you end up getting your choice of pass rushers, your bound to get value.  I’m sure a lot of the teams ahead of this spot wish they had Ware with year. Impact Scoreboard: (6-11)

Pick #12 – SD – Shawne Merriman, OLB:  (Key stats: Games – 14, Solo Tackles – 42, Sacks – 9)  If I had a vote for defensive rookie of the year, it would be going to Merriman.  Great value at the 12^th pick for a man who has been coming on strong the second half of the year.  His 7 tackle, 2 sack game against Indianapolis is a sign of things to come. He’s probably neck and neck with Cadillac for the best 2005 value pick of the draft. Impact Scoreboard: (7-12)

Pick #13 – NOS – Jammal Brown, T:  (Key stats:)  The hardest positions to evaluate are without a doubt  along the offensive line.  First off they get little camera time on Sundays and the only time you ever hear their name is when they let up a sack.  Secondly, I can’t seem to find the “sacks allowed” category anywhere on the internet.  Does anyone know where I could find this info?  As a whole, the Saints offensive line play has not been very good, so I’m not going to say he’s had a huge impact, but he is the current starting right tackle, so he has had some value. Impact Scoreboard: (8-13)

Pick #14 – CAR – Thomas Davis, SS:  (Key stats: Games – 15,  Tackles – 26, INTs – 1.5, Passes defended  – 0)  I’m kind of torn on this one.  The 1.5 picks is decent for a rookie safety, but the 26 tackles should probably be higher just due to the nature of the position.  Also, he’s still listed behind Marlon McCree on the depth chart, which means he hasn’t exactly taken the world by storm and that also means the Panthers could have basically signed a free agent for the same value. Impact Scoreboard: (8-14)

Pick #15 – KC – Derrick Johnson, OLB:  (Key stats: Games – 15, Solo Tackles – 73, Sacks – 2)  The first “true” outside linebacker taken in the draft and his stats back him up as a solid choice.  The 73 tackles are a solid number and the two sacks further solidify him as a year one contributor.  He also had 5 passes defended which is a very solid number for an outside linebacker. Impact Scoreboard: (9-15)

Pick #16 – HOU – Travis Johnson, DT:  (Key stats: Games – 14, Solo Tackles – 21, Sacks – 1)  The first defensive tackle to go off the board and I’m betting the fans in Houston wished he would have stayed there a little longer.  This pick was a bit of a shocker at the time with Alex Bannister still on the board and the Texans having huge wholes to fill on the offensive line.  21 tackles in 14 games out of a defensive tackle shows why the Texans have been so bad this season.  This one goes down in the L column on the impact scoreboard Impact Scoreboard: (9-16)

Pick #17 – CIN – David Pollack, LB:  (Key stats: Games – 13, Solo Tackles – 17, Sacks – 2.5)  He’s only started four games this season and his solo tackles are well below what you would like to see out of a linebacker.  After starting the season off with six tackles against the Browns, he hasn’t recorded more than 2 in any game since.  Impact Scoreboard: (9-17)

Pick #18 – MIN – Erasmus James, DE:  (Key stats: Games – 14, Solo Tackles – 22, Sacks – 4)  Another boarder line candidate.  After doing nothing for the first half of the season, James has had 3 good games out of his last 4, including a big two sack game in Pittsburgh.  There win streak however did start when he was placed into the starting lineup.  That’s enough for him to make my scoreboard as an impact player.  Impact Scoreboard: (10-18)

Pick #19 – STL – Alex Barron, T:  (Key stats:)  Another offensive linemen and as we discussed earlier, there isn’t enough info out there for me to make a judgment call on him, but since he’s starting at right tackle, I’m giving him the nod Impact Scoreboard: (11-19)

Pick #20 – DAL – Marcus Spears, DE:  (Key stats: Games – 15, Solo Tackles – 17, Sacks – 0.5)  While Dallas’s first pick (Ware) has had a profound impact on the defenses, Spears has been a missing man of sorts.  He is barely averaging over a tackle per game played and his half a sack came way back in September.  He still has plenty of potential to be an impact player down the road, but his 2005 contribution value is close to nothing.  Impact Scoreboard: (11-20)

Pick #21 – JAC – Matt Jones, WR:  (Key stats: Games started – 1, Receptions – 33, Receiving yards – 377, TD’s – 4 receiving)  While his receiving yardage doesn’t look all that impressive, his 4 touchdowns are the key stat here.  Add in the fact that he has also rushed for 51 yards and I think the Jaguars got some 2005 value out of this pick.  Impact Scoreboard: (12-21)

Pick #22 – BAL – Mark Clayton, WR:  (Key stats: Games started – 9, Receptions – 41, Receiving yards – 460, TD’s – 2 receiving; 1 rushing)  Having started 9 games for a team that likes to run the ball, his 41 receptions and 460 yards are actually quite impressive.    Add in the 3 touchdowns and the fact that he was the 22^nd pick and I would say the Ravens were able to get some value out of this pick in 2005.  Impact Scoreboard: (13-22)

Pick #23 – OAK – Fabian Washington, CB:  (Key stats: Games – 15,  Tackles – 37, INTs – 0, Passes defended  – 5)  Al Davis fell in love with Washington due to his speed and it looks like the kid might be able to play a little bit.  He probably hasn’t played as well as they would have liked him to this year, but he is starting at one of the corner spots so you can’t say he hasn’t had an impact. Impact Scoreboard: (14-23)

Pick #24 – GB – Aaron Rodgers, QB:  (Key stats: Games started – 0, Passing yards – 65, TD’s – 0 throwing; 0 rushing, INTs – 1)  This was obviously a pick for the future when Brett Favre finally decides to call it a career, but his 2005 impact was nothing.  In strictly 2005 terms, the packers would have been better suited drafting an impact player at a different position. Impact Scoreboard: (14-24)

Pick #25 – WAS – Jason Campbell, QB:  (Key stats: Games started – 0, Passing yards – 0, TD’s – 0 throwing; 0 rushing, INTs – 0)  When you haven’t played a game this season, your 2005 impact is pretty easy to figure out.  For a team that is so close to a playoff birth, this pick could have been used to get a player that would put them over the top, instead they used it on a benchwarmer.  Impact Scoreboard: (14-25)

Pick #26 – SEA – Chris Spencer, C:  (Key stats:)  As far as an offensive lineman goes, his impact is a little easier to figure out.  He’s only played in 7 games and is still listed as the backup to Robbie Tobeck.  In the future this pick could work out, but this team has a Super Bowl shot THIS year and may not get much out of its first round pick along the way.  Impact Scoreboard: (14-26)

Pick #27 – ATL – Roddy White, WR:  (Key stats: Games started – 8, Receptions – 25, Receiving yards – 399, TD’s – 2 receiving)  On a team that lacks a true number one receiver, these numbers probably aren’t high enough to be considered a good 2005 impact.  Impact Scoreboard: (14-27)

Pick #28 – SF – Luis Castillo, DE:  (Key stats: Games – 15, Solo Tackles – 33, Sacks – 3.5)  The Chargers may not be going to the playoffs, but they can’t blame their 2005 draft on it.  They took a chance on the former steroid boy and where rewarded with a solid season from their now starting left defensive end.  Impact Scoreboard: (15-28)

Pick #29 – IND – Marlin Jackson, CB:  (Key stats: Games – 14,  Tackles – 38, INTs – 1, Passes defended  – 3)  He has a very high tackle total for the rest of his numbers, but with the Colts leading big most games, he is asked to just contain other teams wide receivers late in blowouts.  If you’re a part of the Colts team this year, you probably made an impact. Impact Scoreboard: (16-29)

Pick #30 – PIT – Heath Miller, TE:  (Key stats: Games started – 13, Receptions – 36, Receiving yards – 397, TD’s – 6 receiving)  No need to spend much time here, anyone who has watched the Steelers play this year knows Miller has had an instant impact.  Impact Scoreboard: (17-30)

Pick #31 – PHI – Mike Patterson, DT:  (Key stats: Games – 15, Solo Tackles – 35, Sacks – 3.5)  While he hasn’t had as big of an impact as the Eagles had hoped when they let Corey Simon walk, he has certainly seen a lot of snaps and played well enough to be worthy of the selection in 2005. Impact Scoreboard: (18-31)

Pick #32 – NE – Logan Mankins, G:  (Key stats:)  Injuries have forced changes all over the Patriots offensive line this year, but Mankins has managed to play in 15 games this year and is currently the starting left guard.  For the 32^nd pick, that’s all the impact you can ask for. Impact Scoreboard: (19-32)

So there you have it, 19 of the 32 first round picks this year where able to have 2005 value and impact their team on the field.  That works out to close to 60% of the draft picks.  In general running backs and offensive and defensive linemen tend to bring the most immediate value. Quaterbacks and wide receivers seem to have a lot more trouble jumping up to the pro level to make an immediate difference.  Using what I learned from these numbers, I’m hoping a good defensive end falls to the Eagles in this years draft.  If the Eagles are able to grab the right defensive end they should be able to get some good 2006 value out of him as they attempt to return to the top of the NFC.

            Today’s column is being written by SantaSportsDude.  SantaSportsDude is easily distinguished from the normal SportsDude as the Santa version wears a big red Christmas hat.  He’s here today because it’s Christmas and he wanted to bring a gift to those most deserving out their in blogger land.  His gift is quite simply this – “The No Championship Club”.

 

            What exactly is the No Championship Club you ask?  Well the club is a congregating point for all of us who have yet to experience the joy that comes along with seeing one of your teams win a championship.  If you lay awake at night dreaming of what a parade down the main street of your favorite sports town would be like, then this is the club for you.  First let’s go over the rules of who is eligible for membership into the club.

 

1. Anyone who has not had one of their teams win a championship since they have been over the age of 7.  Take me for example.  I’m a fan of all of the Philadelphia pro teams, so the last time I had a chance to celebrate a championship was with the 76ers back in 1983.  As I was 4 at the time, and more concerned with Big Bird than Moses Malone, I would qualify.

 

2. Anyone who has not seen one of their teams win a championship in over 25 years. (a.k.a. the Quarter of a Century Rule).  If it’s been over 25 years, then my guess is your memory of the event is starting to get a little hazy, so you may apply for a special rules exemption.  (Note: This is not on a per team basis.  Meaning, if you are a big fan of the Cubs, Blackhawks, and Bulls, then you don’t qualify with the Cubs and Blackhawks, since the Bulls won 6 NBA titles in the last 25 years).

 

3. This is open to any sports teams you follow on a daily basis.  If the teams you live and die with are college teams or even high school teams, and they haven’t won a championship, then you are eligible for membership.

 

Now that the eligibility criteria are out of the way, let’s move on to what I hope this club can become. 

 

A place where your pain and suffering can truly be understood: 

 

First and foremost I would like for this space to act as the worlds biggest sports fan support group.  If you’re eligible for this club then chances are you’ve had your heart broken on more than one occasion.  When this happens most of us want to be left alone to stew in our own self misery, but sooner or late there comes that time when our anger is so built up that we’re ready to let all of our disappointment and bitter emotions out in what is affectionately call “The Rant”.  We’ve all done one of these before and seen our friends break down into countless others.  An example is my buddy Damon, truly a first class Ranter, who finally broke down after last years Super Bowl.  While the exact contents of his rant were never put down on paper, I think I can sum it up pretty good.  It went something like this….“Why…….Why, Why, Why…..God.   Why, just once, that’s all I’m asking for, just one stinking time I want my team to play well in a championship game.  Why……God…… Why did Donovan have to play so (expletive) bad.  God, I could have (expletive) played better.  Why, what did I ever do.  I’m sorry, honest God, I am.  Now please stop doing this to me.   I hate Donovan, I hate the Eagles, I hate Andy Reid, and I hate life…….UGHHHHHHHHHHH…….Stupid (expletive) Eagles.”  All of this said with a look on his face that can best be described as the look of a seriously constipated man.

 

What I am hoping this club can serve as is a place where frustrations like this can be vented in an understanding environment.  I know my buddy doesn’t hate the Eagles.  He’s just frustrated at once again falling short of the top and knowing that he has to ride the emotional roller coaster again next year hoping for another shot at glory.  Now that this club has been started, he will have a place to let out future anger before it builds up into another full fledge rant.

 

A place to figure out your rooting interests:

Being a true sports fan, I still watch the playoffs of every sport even after my team has been eliminated.  What normally gets discussed between my friends is who to root for in these contests.  Through this club we will be able to identify if any of the remaining teams deserve our support through being a member of the No Championships Club.  Like I said earlier, I hope this becomes a full fledge support group, so if my team can’t win, I hope at least one of the teams of a club member does.

 

A place to be recognized:

If you follow a certain set of teams and you think the national media doesn’t showcase the trials and tribulations of your misfortune, then here is your chance to tell the world about it.  I’m not even sure how many different sets of fans there are out there who fall into my category.  I can tell you that Philadelphia has the longest streak of not winning a championship out of any city that is home to four major sports teams.  By my count, we’ve had a whopping 89 professional seasons played without a championship since the Sixers won the 1983 NBA finals.  Other cities that come to mind are Cleveland, Seattle, and Kansas City.  If you’re from one of those places, or anywhere else that meets this criteria let me know and share your pain with us in what I like to call your “Fan Testimonial”.  I’ll start off with my testimonial below and then turn it over to you guys in the comments section. 

 

 

SportsDude’s Testimonial:

I’ve been a Philadelphia fan for as long as I can remember.  Some of my fondest memories growing up are sitting with my dad listening to Gene Hart do play-by-play on Flyer’s games and making sure I was inside by 7:30 every night during the summer to see if Michael Jack Schmidt was going to hit another long ball.  I’ve rooted for Philadelphia teams through thick and thin and even though I may become disheartened by them from time to time, my loyalty to them will never falter.  I watched my Phillies suffer a devastating defeat when Mitch Williams threw a pitch to Joe Carter that I’ll never forget in 1993 (I’d talk more about this, but I’m already starting to grow angry).  I lived through the pain of watching my Flyers choke (their coaches words not mine) the 1997 Stanley Cup away in four straight games.  I witnessed a far superior Lakers team defeat a Sixers team that battled with everything they had in the 2001 NBA finals.  I watched the greatest Eagles team I’ve ever had the pleasure to follow, turn the ball over time after time in losing to the Patriots in last year’s Super Bowl.  These are just the tip of the iceberg of course as each of these teams has also managed to lose painful games in their quest to get to the finals.  As a fan I’ve tried just about everything I can think of to help my teams.  I once juggled a hockey puck for an entire playoff game because it brought the Flyers good luck the game before.  I’m still convinced the Sixers won game one of the 2001 finals thanks to my friend Timmy (and his liver) who seemed to spark a Sixers rally every time he took a chug of beer.  Last year, I even came up with a plan to wear the jersey of the team the Flyers where playing every playoff game in hopes that the pattern of the team I was rooting for always losing would continue.  Needless to say, the curse that haunts our town was not fooled.  I’ve been laughed at, teased, made fun of, and had other’s joy shoved in my face.  For example, the college I attended was mid way between New York City and Philly.  During my time there the Eagles went 0 for 9 against the Giants and I had to watch the Yankees fans celebrate a World Championship on three separate occasions.  Somehow though, each loss now brings about a small sense of pride.  I know one day Philly’s chance in the sun will finally come and each of these losses just makes the party that will ensue that much bigger.  I’ve witnessed an entire generation of Philly fans like myself grow and while each loss hurts more than the last, it has also become a sort of rallying cry for how great the reward will be when we finally win.  I guarantee you people will not believe how many fans show up for the next parade we have here.         

 

 

Now the “No Championship Club” would like to hear from you.  Open enrollment is happening below in my comments section.  Sign up, tell me who your favorite teams are and write a small testimonial of your own.  Then feel free to come back here throughout the year anytime your teams cause you to feel the need to rant.  We’re all in this together and remember, not only am I the founder of the “No Championship Club”, but I’m also a member.

Since I started writing here on Foxsports.com I haven’t had a chance to empty out the old mailbag.  For those of you new to my articles, all of my e-mails are actual questions I’ve received from my loyal fans.  Except for the ones I make up, those are normally completely fabricated.  On to your questions…

Hey SportsDude,

I was wondering what your take on Johnny Damon going to the Yankees is?  Do you think he owed it to the fans of Boston not to go there? 

Staz

Newtown, PA

Actually, my first thought was that Vince McMahon must have taken over the MLB.  Let’s think about this for a second.  For the past couple of years, the greatest rivalry in not only baseball, but maybe professional sports, has been the Red Sox vs. the Yankees.  All season long their showdowns are hyped as baseball executives secretly hope that the two will meet up in a playoff series. The entire dynamic of this feud changed however, when the Red Sox came back from being down 0-3 to beat the Yankees in the 2004 ALCS.  After that moment, while the rivalry was still good, it was no longer great. Something was missing, the storyline had become stale.  That’s until the MLB went all WWE on us by taking one of the good guys and turning him into a heel.  While he has never been their best player, Damon has long signified who the Red Sox were in their feud with the Yankees.  They were the blue collar group, the workman, the get down and dirty kind.  They grew their hair long and took shots of bourbon before games.  In short, they were the anti-corporate team or the wrestling equivalent of the fan favorite.  Now in wrestling when a popular characters act starts to get old with the crowd, the WWE almost always turns the guy into a bad guy to get their audience interested again.  That’s what I see the Damon signing doing to this great rivalry.  By throwing this little twist into the mix, people will be interested again and I’m sure rating will soar when the Red Sox and Yankees meet next year.  I can see Damon coming out of the dugout now completely shaven, hair cut short, wearing some new expensive clothes as George Steinbrenner (a career heel) laughs it up in his luxury box.  Just like when this happens in wrestling, it may not be a popular move with the fans, but in the world of ratings, where a renewed rivalry means extra viewers, Damon signing with the Yankees was just what Vince McMahon would have done.

       

Sportsdude, love the foxsport blog.  It’s good to see you getting new stuff up there so often,

 I want to get your take on my plan to restore competitive balance to MLB.  Here's the basic plan:  If a player with a guaranteed contract complains during the off-season, he is shipped off to a perennial loser and given whatever the  position player in that city is making.  For example, as soon as Alfonso Soriano  complained about moving to the OF, his contract would become property of the Royals where he can play all the second-base he wants for $600,000.  Or when Tejada decided to tell them media his team wasn't doing enough in the offseason,  his contract goes to Milwaukee where he see how a team with no pay-roll handles  the offseason. And this could work in all leagues.  TO might have a change of heart if he had  to catch passes from Joey Harrington for the next 5 years.  I'm sure Artest would love Atlanta.  Does this plan work or do you have any other ideas for baseball so all 32 teams can be competitive each year?

-Dan in Milwaukee

Actually, since I received this e-mail Artest has done a complete one eighty on his trade request.  Maybe he got word of your idea and decided not to take any chances.  I’ve seen the Hawks play this year though, so I can’t really blame him.  While I like your deal in principle, I don’t think it would work in making the MLB more competitive.  After all, if these guys complain this much on the teams they are on making the money they currently make, imagine what they would do in even less favorable circumstances.  If Soriano was forced to go to the Brewers he might report to spring training around 275 pounds.  The athletes out there who are the true crybabies only get worse when their surroundings deteriorate.  They’ve been handed a gifted life and by the time they realize they are making the wrong decisions, their career has past and they end up working for construction companies or selling baseball cards at 3 am on QVC.  The only thing that will fix baseball is a true salary cap and don’t worry, it’s coming.  You can give me all the nonsense you want about a strong players union and a commissioner not willing to make the tough calls, but as of right now they are the only league out of the 4 major sports to not have a defined spending limit.  A couple more winters of the Scott Eyres of the world getting multi-million dollar contracts and we’ll be faced with another labor dispute that only has one possible outcome – the players accepting a salary cap.

I went to lunch today at the bar, and I swear to god ESPN took a page out of Dodgeball script and started the channel ESPN “The Ocho”. I was actually watching the National Scrabble Championship on a sports channel. The worst part was I couldn’t stop watching. The chinese dude was making a mockery of the tall white dude. He was just toying with him. In the first rd the white dude made a huge score to go up so much on the chinese kid. He looked so dejected. Then they would show the Chinese kids letters and he already had a word spelled out with only on letter left over. So whats the chinese kid do. He plays the one letter, gets 3 words out of it just to get some points on the board. White dude still thinks he has it, plays a 6 letter word for an ok score. Then WHAM Chinese  kid pulls off a 7 letter word that not only combined with 3 different rows but it made up 5 separate words, he was down 50pts or something like that and ended up being up by 100pts. It was amazing. I almost jumped out of my seat cheering on the move, it was genius.

Damon

Collingswood, NJ

Ok, so this isn’t really a question, more of an observation, but this one is actually an e-mail one of my buddies sent me at work today.  A lot of people ask where I come up with the stuff for my articles.  Well let’s just say when you have friends like this, it isn’t too hard and yes a good portion of my work day is spent e-mailing my buddies back and forth about seemingly useless information like this.  It did get me thinking though, do you think we could become the number one network in China is we started a sports channel and just showed scrabble, spelling bees, ping pong, and a talk show like Quite Frankly with Yao Ming.  I think I’m on to something here….

 

What’s going on SportsDude!!!

If Chad Johnson actually gets a live deer onto the football field Saturday, will it go down as the funniest moment in NFL history?

Tony

Philadelphia, PA

Yes, without a doubt.  Not only will the celebration itself be unlike anything we’ve ever seen, but the aftermath could turn out to be even funnier.  Deer tend to scare pretty easily so it is bound to freak out if it actually makes it to the field and will probably start running around widely while fat unathletic security guards try and chase it down.  I’m praying for it to be a rainy day, because nothing would be more comical than watching the security chasing down the deer slip and slide everywhere.  You know everyone at the stadium would be rooting for the deer.  If you’re one of Buffalo’s corners how do you not “accidentally” fall down and let Chad score.  You have a chance to be part of history.  Twenty years from now you can tell your grandkids you were on the field for the great Bambi game.  

 

Sportsdude,

   Which is better, the annual Victoria Secret Fashion show or the Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleaders Video on their website?  Could someone at Fox develop a reality show where the host eliminates 1 girl each week using a catchy catch-phrase like "Put your clothes back on"?  I would watch.

    -Joe from Jersey

Surprisingly, the Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleaders Video, they wear less.  Those tiny black shawls they wear when it gets cold out have been entertaining us for a couple of years now.  Those things cover like two inches of their shoulders.  That should keep the ladies real warm.  I’m all for your reality idea though, could someone at Fox get on this?  We can call it American Cheerleader or something.  Each week the ladies can compete in such fascinating events like “finding the peep hole in the locker room wall”, “best use in a wide receivers touchdown celebration”, and everyone’s favorite “standing outside in a snowstorm for 3 hours in a bathing suit without catching hypothermia!”  Throw in a Fox twist and have the show be hosted by OJ Simpson and I think we got a hit.  Is anyone going to tell me listening to the Juice doing a Trump impersonation and saying “Put your clothes back on” then giggling that creepy laugh of his for 30 seconds isn’t going to pull in viewers?  Put it on Sundays after football and I don’t see how you don’t keep almost all of your viewing audience.  This may be the best idea I've heard since my college roommate and I came up with the idea to build the Oklahoma Ocean.       

 

Have a question for the SportsDude?  Drop him a line at ddks_sectionb@yahoo.com and maybe you’ll see your e-mail in the next mailbag edition.       

 

                As the Next Great Sportswriter contest heads into the home stretch, I decided to take a few minutes to fill my readers in on my thought of the contest.  Hope everyone takes a few minutes to read and think about what I have to say.

                Before I get to who I think should win this contest I wanted to take a quick moment to break down the contestants.  While there are exceptions to these two categories, most of the contestants can be placed into one of two categories, writers or bloggers.  Let’s take a look at each category.

The Bloggers:

                One thing that became abundantly clear as this contest evolved is that the bloggers far outnumber the writers.  The bloggers are your typical everyday sports fan.  Most are probably trying to squeeze out columns between their other commitments, so their posts tend to be a lot shorter and more directly to the point.  A blogger also tends to produce more articles, most even producing multiple blog per day.  The main goal of many of these blogs seems to be to generate as many responses as possible.  Some choose to do this through simple questions like “Who do you think will win the Rose Bowl”, while others choose the controversial route through topics like “Why the 2005 New York Giants are the greatest football team of all time”.  Most of these topics are loosely backed by a couple of quick points that closer resemble more opinions then facts.  Still, in a way the blogger are the backbone of this site as they fill the categories up with title after title giving the casual reader an opportunity to read about any sports topic they desire.  Proper grammar, sentence structure and spelling are normally shaky in the blogs as the main focus of the writer is his or her topic.  Intros and conclusions also tend to be left out as the blogger is more right to the point and quick to get off of it in order to let other readers respond.  Still if you are looking for the most passionate or controversial written pieces, the bloggers are where you’ll tend to find them.

The Writers:

                The writers are the people who have been writing on some level or another for a while now and whose style I like to describe as more of a “featured columnist” than blogger.  The writers tend to produce articles that are laid out in a well structured format without much in the way of grammar or spelling errors.  Their postings tend to have an opening introducing readers to their topic and a conclusion summing up their opinions.  The articles tend to be much longer in length and as a result tend to produce fewer comments, as only a few other writers are reading through their lengthy posts.  The writer’s opinions are normally well supported with plenty of facts and observations and the flow of their columns tend to be very easy to follow.  If you are a former English major or someone who enjoys a well supported argument, then the writers are your contestants of choice.           

As this contest has rolled along anyone taking the time to read the comments left by other writers on the blogs, knows that the final 16 contestants will not be announce without its share of controversy.  I would like to note before I get into my personal thoughts on who should win, that the amount of animosity between these groups has been astonishing.  The weeks preceding the judge’s first blog was filled with comments such as “if foxsports picks a bunch of bloggers we will know this contest is fake” or “this contest is for bloggers, not people who write columns”.   Kudos to our judges for coming onto the scene to cool the fires a bit and even more acknowledgment for keeping your answers vague enough to keep everyone’s hopes alive.  What astonishes me most about these comments is that the two sides don’t seem to realize that in the perfect sports world, one wouldn’t exist without the other.

While blogging is certainly the current craze, would you bloggers out there want a world that consisted of only blogs?  Would short, over opinionated view after view become overkill at some point?  Don’t you enjoy sitting down and reading a well thought out article every now and then?   The writers in this contest are important because they tend to offer a reason for why they are writing and more importantly they tend to be the ones who come up with more far reaching topics that expand the sports discussions. 

As for the writers, which I consider myself to be more a part of, well I am ashamed at how some of you have acted in this contest.  I have read too many comments that praise the work of your fellow writers and at the same time bash the entries of the bloggers.  Haven’t you ever heard the phrase “don’t bite the hand that feeds you?”  Who do you think makes up a majority of the sports fans in the world today?  Just look at this site, what do you see more of, bloggers or writers?  The answer is bloggers, and without them, no sportswriter is going to be successful.  If you succeed in your dream, the bloggers are the ones who will send you e-mails to discuss your last topic and who will offer up an array of viewpoints that could lead to future column ideas.  It’s the bloggers that are going to create any future fan base you might have and who will spread the word to others about why they should read your articles.  Without them you’re writing a bunch of meaningless words no one will ever read or care about.  If you think their opinions are silly or contrite now, I shudder as to what you would think of them if you were ever given the ego boost of writing on a national level.  Of course, just making it to the next step in this competition is going to force you to do a complete 180 as you will then be lobbying for the votes of those who days before were unworthy of the same opportunity as you.  To sum things up, just because you use a more advanced vocabulary and defend your opinions in a more structured manor, doesn’t mean the articles you write are any more compelling then the bloggers.  But even if a few of them are, it isn’t about who write better articles, it’s about creating an open fan base of bloggers and writers alike.  That’s what you should be trying to take away from this competition, fans, not fame.  So the next time you find yourself about to bash a blogger for not being up to the “Next Great Sportswriter” standard, remember that without them, winning this competition would mean nothing.

So who do I want to win this thing?  Well the answer to that is easy.  Personally, I don’t care about how great your grammar is or if your column follows a set structure.  I also don’t care if your column generates a lot of comments or if I have to actually take the time to sit down and read your column due to its length.  I don’t care if you’re a blogger and I don’t care if you a writer.  I don’t even care if I agree with your opinion.  The greatest thing about sports is whether you agree with someone’s opinion or not, most of the arguments out there are strictly opinions that will never be proven one way or another.  If you’re a blogger, than be a blogger.  If you’re a writer, then write your little heart out, but most of all show me who you are and what you’re about.  In short, ENTERTAIN ME.  Bring your A game, give it your best shot, and offer me up the best articles you can as often as you can.  Most people go to sports websites for two reasons.  1 – to find out breaking news and 2 – to be entertained.  Since most of us here don’t have inside contacts in the sports world to help us break new stories, the best thing we can offer fans is entertainment. When this contest is over it isn’t going to matter if the winner was a writer or a blogger.  The only thing that is going to matter in turning this opportunity into a successful career is whether or not they are able to entertain both writers and bloggers alike. 

Hello and Welcome back to the conclusion of the 2005 Boehmer Awards. If you missed the first part of the show, make sure to check my archived posts to catch up on the action so far. Now back to our host Billy Krystal!!!!

(Song Parody)
"It’s the Boehmer’s, It’s the Boehmers, the award show that everyone knows."
"It’s the Boehmer’s, It’s the Boehmers, voted more fun than picking your nose."
"We’ve been giving out Boehmers since the start of the night."
"And I must admit, that Busch can trophy is a marvelous sight."
"It’s the Boehmer’s, It’s the Boehmer the award show that clearly doesn’t blow."
"It’s the Boehmer’s, It’s the Boehmers now on to the conclusion of our show."

Let’s get back to the categories as I can see our nominees are anxiously waiting to see if they’ve won a coveted Boehmer.

"Worst Team of the Year "

And the nominees are……

The Houston Texans – This team is setting a new standard for ways to blow a game. From letting a bad Rams team come back from over 3 touchdowns down to having their kicker miss two field goals in the worse fashion I’ve ever seen.

The Atlanta Hawks - A perennial contender in this category the Hawks are now entering year 15 of their rebuilding plan.

The Pittsburgh Penguins - This team is struggling more financially then most Canadian teams. They have a lot of talent on the team, but don’t play well together.

The Kansas City Royals - If this team ever finishes out of the cellar again, they deserve a parade through down town Kansas City.

And the Boehmer goes to…..

The Atlanta Hawks – The other teams are all bad as well, but the Hawks seem the furthest from getting it all back together. Isn’t it shocking that Joe Johnson wasn’t worth all those millions they threw at him in free agency? I mean I’m shocked, you mean he isn’t a star player, I thought he was a can’t miss. Until this team gets some direction and builds through young talent and true star players, they should get comfy at the bottom of the NBA standings.


“Best Recreational Sports Activity to Have a Beer During”

And the nominees are....

Horse Shoes– Nothing quite like clanging some shoes and drinking a cold one.

Washers - The portable version of horse shoes is great for tailgating.

Poker – It’s a lot easier to make tough calls while sipping your favorite beverage

And the winner is....

Washers - For the last couple of years the Washers phenomenon has been sweeping the country and now it has an award to go along with its success. Famous for its portability and ability to be played on just about any surface. washers is quickly becoming a favorite hobby of many in the tri-state area. The last time I was tailgating at the Phillies game I saw at least 5 different sets in the parking lot I was in. The fact that you are teamed with a partner in most cases also adds to it winning this category as the beer gives you something to do while the other guy shoots. Plus, just the right amount of beer has been known to improve some peoples games. Not only does it work out as a fun activity but it also produces a social atmosphere that will have other tailgaters coming over to check out the fun.


Before we continue, I’d like to take a moment to recognize those people who won awards at the morning ceremony which was not televised.

“Best Rookie of the Year” – Sidney Crosby (Pittsburgh Penguins) – The kid can flat out play.

“Best Gimmick of the Year” – FoxSports.com (The Next Great Sports Writer Contest). – I’m pretty sure I didn’t visit their website 8 times a day before this contest.

“Most Washed up and in Need of Retirement Athlete of the Year” – Vinny Testeverde (QB New York Jets ). Vinny was an automatic choice this year after the winner of this award the past 3 years (Jerry Rice) actually did retire.

“Game of the Year” – USC vs. Notre Dame (College Football) - I’m not a big fan of either of these two schools, but the last few minutes of that game was as exciting as it gets. The most recognizable name in College football almost ending the win streak of the most talented team in College football.

Now back to the live awards….

“Best Nutcase of the Year”

And the nominees are....

Terrell Owens – Nothing quite like clanging some shoes and drinking a cold one.

Ron Artest - The portable version of horse shoes is great for tailgating.

Phil Helmuth – Anyone who has ever seen this guy lose a hand in poker knows he’s far from stable.

And the winner is....

Ron Artest – I was almost afraid to pick someone here in fear of what the losers might do in retaliation. So why Ron Artest? Well, as crazy as TO and Helmuth may be, Artest actually went into the crowd of an NBA game to beat up a fan. The worst part is I don’t think he even really regrets it. Even though he didn’t even beat up the fan who threw something at him. He just picked the first guy he could get a hold of and started swinging. Now, he’s unhappy with the Pacers because they apparently aren’t showcasing his talents enough for him to get a huge deal in the off-season. This guy should be thankful the NBA let him back in the league, rather than if his current team is letting him do enough to earn maximum dollars this off-season. I’m sure the Pacers will be more than happy to get rid of this head case as I’m almost certain we haven’t seen the last of his foolish acts.


“Lifetime Achievement Award”

And the nominees are....

Ed Snider (Chairman of Comcast-Spectacor. President of Philadelphia Flyers and Philadelphia 76ers)

Brett Favre (QB, Green Bay Packers) – As the man’s career winds down he deserves credit for being not a great quarterback, but for also showing that playing football is allowed to be fun.

Michael Jordon (Chicago Bulls) – Is there any question that the NBA has not been the same since he retired? Doesn’t everyone miss liking the NBA?

And the winner is....

Ed Snider (Chairman of Comcast-Spectacor. President of Philadelphia Flyers and Philadelphia 76ers) . I promised myself along time ago that if I ever got to give out some kind of sports awards, I would make sure Ed Snider got one. And now, here’s my chance. First off, let me commend him on winning in what turned out to be the deepest category of the awards. He was battling two first ballot hall of famers in this category but still walked away with the Boehmer. So why Ed Snider? Well, if you’ve grown up a fan of Philly sports, you probably don’t need me to do too much convincing. The guy is the president we all hope for. A dedicated man who is going to do whatever it takes to give the fans a winner. Never has anyone accused him of penny pinching when it has come to the Flyers and Sixers and he is all for his GM’s being aggressive and making the big move. Secondly, he’s really a fan first, and a president second. He’s not some billionaire who bought a team just to toy around with or someone who just bought the first team he could find when he was really a New York fan or an LA fan. Growing up, when the Flyers lost a tough game or a tough series, there he was, sharing in our pain. When the ref in that Toronto series called that terrible elbowing call on LeClair just seconds after Brindamore was basically football tackled at mid ice, there he was in the locker room, face beat red calling out the official on the outrageous call. Was he being a little over the top for a team president? Probably, but the point is his heart sinks with ours when one of his team loses and he’s not afraid to stick up for them and let his voice be heard, even when it might be more politically correct to just say you can’t blame the refs and walk away. Throughout the entire NHL lockout you could see the pain and anguish on his face when he talked about the lost season and the suffering of Flyer’s fans. He’s the type of man that if I ever met him at a bar I would shake his hand and buy him a beer, so here’s to you Ed Snider, finally getting a lifetime achievement award that you so deserve. Plus, when Comcast finishes taking over the world, I would like to be on this guys good side, so here’s hoping this helps.


Worst Sports Columnist of the Year Award

And the nominees are....

Mike Harmon (Yahoo Sports) - The genius behind such fantasy columns as “Top ten projected MLB players in HR’s”. I know the column seems to be just a reprint of how the players finished the year before, but he did rearrange them and even dropped Bonds since he was not playing and replaced him with the guy who finished 11th last year. I could have just did a search on Yahoo’s stats from last year and found this out, but that might have taken all of 3 seconds. Advice like this is why I always dedicate any fantasy success I have to Mr. Harmon.

Brandon Funston (Yahoo Sports) – Another fantasy genius, this one gives us Top 50 players in each fantasy sport.

Dr. Z (Sports Illustrated) – Just like I promised myself I would nominate Ed Snider for an award if I ever gave them out, I also promised to give Dr. Z a negative award if I was ever in the position to do so. Maybe I’m just too young to be in touch with him, but I barely get anything he writes about. Add in the fact that his Super Bowl predictions are the annual laughingstock of the industry and you can see how he was nominated. Forget the Madden curse, as long as Dr. Z doesn’t pick my team for the Super Bowl, I’m a happy guy.

And the winner is....

Brandon Funston (Yahoo Sports) – This guy makes me so angry, I won’t even look at rest of the Yahoo sports page if he has an article up there. He’s the one man on Earth who can make Harmon look like a hard worker. Now, as far as I can tell, this guy’s full time job is to write for Yahoo Sports. If I am wrong, and he really collects garbage 10 hours a day, then I apologize, but what he brings to the table is little to none. He writes an article called “Big Board” and basically writes three articles a week, one each for Basketball, Football, and Baseball. Apparently he is soooooooo busy with those that he can’t fit hockey in, because Matt Roming (who is the only intelligent person who writes for the site. He better have the big corner office over there) writes the hockey one. So like I said, basically this guy produces three articles a week. Now most of you are probably saying, well that isn’t so bad, three articles a week is decent amount. But here is the thing, he does this for a living, which means he has 8 hours a day to think of things to write and what does he come up with? BIG BOARD BASEBALL. Now the concept behind this is he lists his top 50 fantasy players from each sport with a comment about a couple of them and an up or down arrow to let you know which way they are going. Now let’s see, maybe the first time this was a little hard, because he had to come up with the original rankings. But now all he does is take his list from the week before, move the guys doing well up, and the guys slumping down, writes a one line comment about 12 of the 50 (apparently a comment for each player is asking too much) then at the end of his article posts e-mails people wrote to him complaining about where a person was in the rankings. Of course he doesn’t actually answer the e-mails, or even offer a rebuttal, he just posts reader’s responses at the bottom of the article. And this is what he produces at work each week. If he even spends more than 3 hours a week writing all of his columns combined, I would be shocked. I don’t know what I am more upset about, the fact that he gets paid for putting no thought into a lousy column, or the fact that he receives at least 20 times more comments a week than I do. If any of you out there reading this happen to be a Yahoo exec, drop me a line at ddks_sectionB@yahoo.com. I would be more than happy to write some articles for you that actually require thought, and I’ll even give you a discounted rate till I get my readers up. You see this nice long article you’ve been reading, well I could produce one of these every day, or at least 3 times a week, I’m just saying, there’s no way I wouldn’t be 1 million times popular since I would actually be putting some thought into my work.

That’s the end of our show, thanks for reading everyone. Looking forward to seeing you all next year at the 2006 Boehmers! Congratulations to all of this years winners.

     Hello and Welcome to the 2005 Boehmer Awards! This years Boehmers come to you live from Lawrenceville, NJ!

     Before we start, I want to give everyone a quick overview of what this article is about.  Basically the Boehmer’s (pronounced Beamers) is my yearly award show where I hand out awards to the best sports moments of the past year and a couple of the worst as well.  This year all categories and winners were selected by me and the academy panel (which consists of me).  The plan for this award show in future years will be for me to announce the categories and nominees a month early and then let you, the readers, vote on who the winners should be.  All winners will receive the official trophy of the 2005 Boehmers.  This years version is an empty Busch can with a taped on paper label!  Let it be known that that we spare no expenses here at The Boehmers. I know everyone is excited to find out who the nominees and winners are so now on to the show!

(Loudspeaker voice) Ladies and Gentleman, Welcome to the 2005 Boehmer Awards and now here is your host, Billy Krystal (Closes thing I could find to the real thing….)

Billy (in song parody):

"It's the Boehmers, It's the Boehmers, it's the best time of the year"

"It's the Boehmers, It's the Boehmers, brought to you by Busch beer" "

There will be laughter, there will be cheer, there will be surprises all night!"

"If you look under you chair you'll find a complimentary can of Busch light!"

"It's the Boehmers, It's the Boehmers, now let's get on to the show"

"It's the Boehmers, It's the Boehmers, and away we go!"  

(Audience Cheer)

 

Billy (Opening Monolog)

Wow, all right, here we go!!!!

Such a pleasure to be here tonight.

Look at all those recognizable faces out there in the crowd. (Billy peers into the crowd)

Hey look, it's disgruntled wide receiver Terrell Owens...T.O. everyone!!!!

No word yet on if he plans on doing some shirtless situps in the aisle if he’s asked to go home tonight (cue laugh track).

And look, who's that over here on the right, it's the head coach of the Houston Texans, Dom Capers!

Although, I don’t quite know who the guy sitting behind him in the dark hooded robe carrying the sickle is.  Oh wait, never mind, that’s just Dan Reeves. (oooooooooo from crowd)

And right up here in the front row we have the Minnesota Vikings.  They’re not really up for any awards tonight, but how can you not invite these guys to a party?  I’ve already got the interns working on building a mock boat in the back (cue laugh track again).

But, hey, why don't we get on to what we're here for, let's hand out some awards!

 "Best Sports Columnist of the Year "

Here are the nominees ...

The Sports Guy (ESPN Page 2, ESPN the Magazine) - A staple in everyone's work day readings.  The Sports Guy offers a humorous insight into the world of sports and entertainment.  He also writes very frequently which adds to his appeal. 

Peter King (SI) - Covers the NFL for SI and writes every Monday and Tuesday.  Very adept at tracking down NFL related stories and adds humor with his “Ten Things I Think I Think” were he gives his comments on everything from sports, to coffee, to his daughter's old softball team.

Kevin Hench (FoxSports) – Covers a little bit of everything, all while interjecting his own blend of comedy to the sports related topics.  Writes a weekly “NFL Fast Forward..” column in which he offers interesting insights into Sunday’s games.  The thing I personally like best about his columns is I’m never really sure what I’m going to find inside, but I know I will find it interesting.

And the winner is...

Bill Simmons (a.k.a. The Sports Guy), ESPN Page 2, ESPN the Magazine. - I’m going to be honest with you.  I wasn’t originally going to pick him, even though he may be my favorite writer out of the above nominees.  I don’t think I am alone in saying he has lost a little bit of his edge over the last couple of years.  I guess these things happen when you build your articles around gut wrenching losses, the most famous Curse the world has ever known, and the pain and agony associated with being a sports fan, then go on to see your teams win more championships in a 2 year period than most of us have seen in our entire lives.  So what changed my mind you ask?  Well that’s simple, this contest did.  Am I the only one who thinks that this contest wouldn’t be half of what it is if Bill Simmons had not entered our lives?  Love him or hate him there is little denying that he took a fan’s connection to a sports writer to a level never seen before.  If not for the Sports Guy busting onto the scene, I’d be willing to bet that over 70% of the people in this contest wouldn’t be writing here today.  As a matter of fact, did anyone else have no clue that this many people had their own sports related website?  Just read the about me’s which are filled with unheard of website after unheard of website.  Do you think all of these budding young sports writers would necessarily be here today if not for them realizing that maybe it wasn’t all that unthinkable to become a national sports writer?  I’m not saying the man was alone in creating this phenomenon, I’m just stating my opinion that he took a generation looking for a voice and helped turn it into a unique subculture full of e-mailers and bloggers.     At the end of the day the Sports Guy’s contributions not only through his actual articles, but also through the following he has created, makes him the winner of this prestigious award.  Also, just in case anyone was wondering, yes my name “SportsDude” is in fact a semi-tribute to the Sports Guy.

Let’s get on to the rest of the categories….

"Best Sport that I never thought I would watch on TV of the Year" 

And the nominees are....

Golf - This rather slow developing game becomes a lot more interesting when Tiger is making a late charge and since it's always on during the weekends, it has the added bonus of being very easy to catch

College Ice Hockey - With no NHL last season, the frozen four was the best hockey action you could find on TV.

College Softball - The 2005 College Softball World Series was featured on ESPN this year.

And the winner is....

College Softball- Let me digress, I was sitting at home one day over the summer flipping through rerun after rerun on TV, I stopped on a certain national sports channel that was broadcasting College Softball.  I decided to see what it was all about and when I looked back at the clock, I noticed I had been watching for nearly a half hour, which is much more time than I ever expected to devote to softball.  There was just something strangely mesmerizing about it.  I think though, I was finally able to figure out exactly what was keeping me tuned in.  College softball is probably the closest thing to the Little League World series you’re ever going to see, and I personally am a big fan of the Little League games on TV.  Let's breakdown some of the similarities.

1.  The pitchers rule the games.  In the Little League World Series the teams that make it to the finals are the ones with the one or two kids who just are bigger and/or throw faster than everyone else.  The same is true in College Softball.  The teams with the best pitchers keep playing, while the other teams go home.  Also, just like in Little League, teams only need one or t