Post-game reaction from two head coaches who are now under fire:

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Philadelphia Eagles 3, New York Giants 16

Notable game stats for Philly:  15 penalties, 12 sacks allowed, 3 measly friggin’ points, 1 ugly loss 

Here’s what Andy Reid had to say about his team’s performance:

“Well, we went in at halftime to analyze what was working for us…which took less than a minute.  The other 14 minutes we spent talking about those ugly throwback uniforms we had to wear last week, while several players helped Donovan clean the chunks of grass out of his facemask.”

After the game, Reid gave the prestigious game ball to tackle Winston Justice…who allowed more than just a few sacks on McNabb.

“Winston did everything we asked him to.  Unfortunately, the coaching staff forgot to ask him to do anything at all.  We’re thinking of possibly giving him a different assignment for the next game.”

Coach Reid also didn’t seem very concerned about the plethora of penalties his team committed.

“We ended up with 190 total yards of offense, and only 132 penalty yards.  I’m no Alfred Einstein, but I believe that still leaves us with positive yardage.  Sure, 15 penalties sounds like a lot, but…hey, are there any of those Krispy Kremes left in the media lounge?” 

So where do they go from here?  That’s anyone’s guess, but a determined coach already had his sights set on next week’s opponent – the juggernaut that is BYE WEEK.

“I feel strongly that we can improve for a win next week against BYE.  They haven’t beaten us since I’ve been coaching, and I think that historic advantage should give us the edge again this year.”

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Chicago Bears 27, Detroit Lions 37

Notable Chicago game stats:  14 penalties, 3 interceptions, a multitude of pissed-off fans

Head Coach Lovie Smith took all the blame for yet another dismal performance from his beloved Bears.

“Rex Gross…I mean Kyle Or…no, I mean Brian Griese is our quarterback.  I really mean that.  Before the game, there was just a slight miscommunication on my part.  I told Brian to go in there and just do what Rex does.  Unfortunately, he misunderstood and threw 3 interceptions.”

Coach Smith was annoyed about the implications of a lingering quarterback controversy.

“Like I said before, I think…Brian Griese is our quarterback.  By the way, does anyone know Kordell Stewart’s phone number?”

One ugly week

** Disclaimer:  I think the above statements were purely fictional, but hell...after watching these two humorous games, I'm not even sure anymore.  However, if you did take them seriously...send me an email, and I'll have someone come to your house and drop an anvil on your cranium to put you out of your misery. 

The highly anticipated return of Donovan McNabb was spoiled by a sloppy Sunday for the Philadelphia Eagles.  A series of miscues gave the reigning NFC East champs their first lost of the season.

Green Bay Packers 16, Philadelphia Flock of Eagulls 13

Things were ugly for the Eagles right from the beginning.  Their opening drive sputtered after an ill-conceived Flea Flicker resulted in a 10-yard penalty for intentional grounding.

Then after the Eagles defense forced a Green Bay punt, things got even uglier.  Newly appointed punt returner Greg Lewis failed to signal for a fair catch, even though he was swarmed by defenders.  A timely hit forced a fumble that tumbled all the way to the end zone, which was recovered by Green Bay for the first touchdown of the game.  Actually, it was the Packers’ ONLY touchdown of the game.

Following the slow start, Philadelphia responded to tie up the game before half-time.  They used a balanced offensive attack, something Philly fans aren’t accustomed to seeing.

But the effort was all for not, as things got even worse on special teams.  After a few more bonehead plays, Greg Lewis was replaced as the punt returner.  This move did not pay off, as J.R. Reed committed another fatal mistake late in the 4th quarter.  With the game tied, and only a couple of minutes left…Reed attempted to field a punt amidst a sea of Green Bay defenders.  The sad thing was…he had already called for a fair catch, and his effort could only have gained the Eagles a few meaningless yards of field position.

The play resulted in a fumble, which of course, Green Bay recovered.  Instead of a potential game-winning drive, McNabb and the offense remained on the sideline to watch the game end with a 42-yard field goal.

Don’t Panic

Even though the Eagles didn’t play well in many areas, this was a game they should have won easily.  This theme has been all too common over the past couple of seasons – they win the yardage battle, but costly mistakes keep opponents within striking distance.

All but 3 of Green Bay’s 16 points were scored off of turnovers (2 muffed punt returns, and 1 interception).  It isn’t exactly how Andy Reid wanted the season to start, but it isn’t time to hit the panic button either.

Positive Thinking

Donovan McNabb is healthy – As expected, McNabb looked a little bit rusty after minimal pre-season action.  Though he clearly isn’t at 100% physically, McNabb displayed the elusiveness that makes him an effective playmaker for Philly.  Expect him to improve as the season continues.

Finally, some balance on offense – Things changed for the better last year when Andy Reid turned over the offensive play-calling duties.  If and when the Eagles find rhythm in the passing game, the solid running attack we saw today should carry them a long way towards another division championship.

This young defensive unit may be better than we thought – OK, maybe Green Bay isn’t the ultimate test for a defense…but still, the Eagles were impressive.  They gave up some yards, but no major mistakes were made in pass coverage.  Philly also did a good job of stopping the run, something they haven’t been particularly good at in recent times.  Not too bad, considering how many personnel changes they have made on defense.  A new linebacking crew of Omar Gaither, Takeo Spikes, and Chris Gocong could be just what the doctor ordered.

The Eagles look to bounce back next week against the Washington Redskins.  If they can fix their problems on special teams (perhaps lining up without a punt returner)…they should have the edge.

Now on to the rest of Sunday’s action… 

That’s Just Gross

Perhaps it’s overkill to bash Rex Grossman, but that never stopped me before.  The Chicago Bears have a top-notch defense, a solid offensive line, an underrated receiving corps, and a talented running back.  The erratic and unpredictable Grossman fits with this above-average team about as well as a piece of broccoli on John Madden’s dinner plate.  Forget about today’s lackluster numbers (52% completion, 145 yards, 1 INT), Rex continues to make dangerous passes and bad decisions.  Can this team make the Super Bowl again if they constantly have to make up for Grossman’s poor play?   

Raider-Aid

The Raider Nation sure let me have it when I picked them to finish last in the AFC West.  I’m not usually one to say “I told you so”, but someone please tell me…does their schedule get any easier than at home against Detroit?  I’ll concede that the Raiders showed some signs of life on offense today, but they were playing against a team that won 3 games last year.

The Raiders are 0-1, and the race for the first overall draft pick continues.

Trading Places

Things are changing in Minnesota, as it took less than 1 quarter for Adrian Peterson to earn the starting running back job.  Chester Taylor was injured early, and Peterson stepped in to deliver an incredible performance.  He rushed for just over 100 yards, but his most impressive play came when he broke free for a touchdown on 60 yard pass play.  It isn’t official yet, but with a performance like that…it looks like Chester Taylor will be spending more time in the back seat than Paris Hilton.

Not the Only Game in Town

Just about the same time that Oakland fans were starting to turn on their Raiders, Roger Federer was finishing off his 4th consecutive U.S. Open title.  His 12th Grand Slam victory puts him just 2 shy of Pete Sampras’ record, which seemed unbreakable just a few years ago.

Congratulations to Federer, who continues to impress even those who dub him “The Greatest of All-Time”.  The Great One fought off Novak Djokovic, a talented youngster from Serbia who beat Federer just a short time ago in Montreal.  Despite winning in straight sets, the match was extremely close…evident by tie-breakers in each of the first two sets. 

The difference in this battle was poise and patience.  Djokovic was visibly (and audibly) frustrated after failing to finish off the world’s number one player in the 1st set.  With his back against the wall on more than one occasion, Federer responded with brilliant returns and an unstoppable service game.

Throughout the tournament, Federer didn’t the play the best tennis of his career…but he still controlled each and every match.  By now I should expect it, but Federer’s greatness never ceases to amaze me.

Sunday, Sunday…  

By now, we all know the details of the NFL draft.  After several weeks of speculation and anticipation, the draft is finally complete…as the newbies begin their NFL journey.

But these teams have other needs as well…those that owners don’t like to talk about.  To maintain the well-balanced football environment that we all know and love, the NFL created the “Special Needs Draft”.  Here, owners are able to secure those hard-to-get items…which often determine a team’s success.

I had hoped to give you live coverage of the Special Needs Draft, but to be honest…the doorman kicked me in the cobblers and beat the hell out of me with my own shoes.  However, the league was nice enough to give me a summary of the day’s events…and an ice pack for my marbles.

So here it is, a synopsis of the official 2007 NFL Special Needs Draft:

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DRAFT WINNERS

New England Patriots - Eyeing a return to Super Bowl glory, the Pats had a productive draft weekend.  Not only did they add several solid college prospects, but they managed to trade for wide receiver Randy Moss…who gives New England another serious offensive weapon for their arsenal.  But once the draft was over, owner Robert Kraft still wasn’t satisfied.

Kraft stated, “We simply have to get Tom Brady more protection.”  Holding true to his word, the Patriots selected a case of Trojan Heavy Duty Fresh-N-Fruity Condoms late in the first round.  A very disappointed box of Magnums was escorted to the commissioner’s private room.

But the Patriots weren’t done.  Immediately after taking the prophylactics, they traded with the Carolina Panthers for the next 1st round pick as well.  Well before the fifteen minutes had expired, the Patriots had selected pop singer Michael Jackson as their new Special Needs Coordinator.

A confused crowd sat in silence as head coach Bill Belichick was questioned about the surprise selection.  He stated that the addition of Michael Jackson was strictly a supplement to Randy Moss.  Belichick went on to say, “if anyone knows how to handle a 10 year old boy…it would be the King of Pop.” 

Houston Texans - The wind of change is blowing in Houston, as the Texans try to abolish the stench of last year’s NFL Draft debacle.  David Carr is out, and Matt Schaub is in as the deficient franchise attempts to move up in the ranks.  Though they didn’t fare too badly in this year’s draft, Houston failed to pick an offensive lineman until the 5th round…which does little to address their most glaring weakness.

After running out the clock with the 10th pick in the special needs draft, the Texans’ brass finally agreed.  They selected a self-help book titled, Paris Hilton’s - Getting Pounded by NFL Linebackers for Dummies.  Pittsburgh Steelers coach Mike Tomlin was visibly shaken just moments after the pick was announced.

Other notable draft winners:

Detroit Lions - 10 pack of receiver-sized mouth muzzles
Green Bay Packers - 1 tube of Frostbutt brand cold weather anti-chafing butt paste
Miami Dolphins - Peyton Manning’s jock strap & a Ricky Williams Voodoo Bobblehead Doll  
Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Limited Edition DVD of The Replacement Players, starring Keanu Reeves
Seattle Seahawks - One year membership in the Hair Club for Men

DRAFT LOSERS

Philadelphia Eagles - The reigning NFC East champs sent shockwaves through the NFL world when they selected QB Kevin Kolb with an early pick in the 2nd round.  Coach Andy Reid insisted that the unexpected selection had nothing to do with Donovan McNabb, and assured everyone that he was still “our guy”.

Proving that they still care about their franchise quarterback, the Eagles selected a Spinal Knife Wound Repair Kit.  Once again, the team denied that the selection had anything to do with McNabb…even though the repair kit only comes in one size - Husky Quarterback.

Atlanta Falcons - One of the more surreal scenes at the NFL Draft was watching Michael Vick cozy up to new commissioner Roger Goodell.  In a draft day interview, Michael Vick sent a message that he would clean up his act…and that fans should expect a “new Michael Vick”.  Hell, the guy even said he would go golfing and fishing to stay out of trouble.

But Atlanta owner Arthur Blank really dropped the ball with the special needs selection…drafting country music legend Willie Nelson as the newest Mental Health Coordinator.

Other notable draft losers:

Chicago Bears - Another self-help guide, Effective Spending by George W. Bush
Cincinnati Bengals - Two cartons of cigarettes, a nail file, and 24 team embroidered orange jumpsuits with the words "Do Not Enter" stitched on the fanny  
Minnesota Vikings - Complete DVD series of Girls Gone Wild (not sure what that was all about)
Dallas Cowboys - Adam Sandler, because Jerry Jones thought he displayed solid leadership skills in The Longest Yard
Cleveland Browns - Season pass to the Kitty Twister night club

So there you have it…what does your team need?

I realize the NFL season isn’t over yet, and there is a lot of exciting playoff football that remains.  But with my beloved Philadelphia Eagles bowing out of the race, I decided to take the opportunity to reflect on another great year in the NFL.

You Learn Something Every Day

Looking back at the season, my first impression was how educational it was for me.  Being part of the blogosphere forced me to examine my own opinions and beliefs.  In some cases, it even caused me to open my mind and have a change of heart.

 

Also, writing about football challenged me to learn more details about the sport that I love.  I’ve always considered myself a student of the game, but this season…I took a closer look at many of its intricacies.

 

Here is a look at a few random lessons I learned over the course of the season:

 

Success starts at the line of scrimmage

This is nothing new - I’ve heard it before, and never really gave it much thought.  But after years of listening to Howie Long talk about it, I finally get it!

 

Quarterbacks get too much credit…and not enough credit

For reasons beyond my comprehension, many fans and experts put the weight of success squarely on the quarterback’s shoulders.

 

The Indianapolis Colts were more dominant last year, but have a better shot at a Super Bowl this year

Instead of coasting into the playoffs with the best record in the NFL, they clawed their way into the Wild Card round…and may be a better team because of it.

 

There might be something to this Madden Curse thing

Sooner or later, the curse has to be broken…right?

 

Tom Coughlin may be possessed by the Devil

I don’t know…call me crazy.  But it’s just a theory.

 

Jeff Garcia may not be #### after all

No self-respecting #### man would make the fashion faux pas of wearing black pantyhose on his head.  Wait, on second thought…

 

Ben Roethlisberger may be a clone

Did you ever see the movie The 6th Day, where the star QB breaks his neck and returns to play the following week as a clone?  With the punishment that Big Ben took last year, that’s the only explanation.

 

Some players must pay extra to become exempt from criticism

Steve McNair & Brett Favre…’nuff said!

 

Some players will never be exempt from criticism

Donovan McNabb, Michael Vick, and now Tony Romo may start a support group.

 

Fans don’t care about steroids in football

Maybe that’s a good thing, but I wish that attitude could also be true in baseball.

 

I Like It, I Love It

There’s a lot to love about this great game, and here is just a small portion of it:

 

- First, I’m glad that Monday Night Football finally abandoned the Tim McGraw weekly recap with an altered version of that annoying song.

 

- I am really starting to embrace the idea of the “two-headed monster” at running back.  The Jacksonville Jaguars may have had the best RB combo with Fred Taylor and Maurice Jones-Drew.  Other teams like the Cowboys, Giants, Colts, Bears, and Saints are proof that two heads are better than one.  I think Paris Hilton would agree.

 

- The Playoffs!  Great match-ups, and no matter which team is playing…it’s always entertaining.

 

- I like that team chemistry still matters.  For all the whining and show-boating that occurs around the league, it’s usually the cohesive teams that make it to & through the playoffs.

 

- I’m glad the NFL didn’t decide to go with a synthetic microcomposite football.

 

- The world needs more football commercials.  Peyton Manning is carving quite a niche, and anything that puts the famous Jim Mora “Playoff” spiel back on TV is alright by me.

 

There’s Always Next Year

I was impressed by the late season surge of the Philadelphia Eagles, especially considering that they accomplished it without Donovan McNabb.  Jeff Garcia proved to be the insurance policy that they thought he would be, and did an incredible job filling in as the starter.

 

I was surprised that Garcia’s success would lead to even more criticism for Donovan McNabb.  Even more shocking, a healthy dose of that criticism came from Eagles fans.  I think this turn of events could be a blessing in disguise, as it could be a wake up call for the coaching staff.  After McNabb was injured, they went back to basics…with a more balanced offensive attack.  Instead of depending on the big play, they started controlling the clock and taking the pressure off of their defense.

 

I am looking forward to next year, and hope that McNabb returns quickly to full health.

 

Thanks for a great season!

The Philadelphia Eagles defeated the Dallas Cowboys on Christmas Day to secure a playoff berth.  The 23-7 victory came in the most important match-up thus far in the season…and it may have been the Eagles’ best performance of the year.

I wish I could have seen it…

That’s right…instead of celebrating in front of a big screen TV, this Eagles fan was driving home after the holiday weekend.

Perhaps it was fitting…I began my road trip at about 5pm Eastern (right at kickoff), setting sail from deep in the heart of Texas.  I clicked on the radio in Odessa Permian country, the birthplace of Friday Night Lights.

 

I quickly located an FM station that carried the game, but was skeptical about radio coverage for the remainder of the trip.  My interstate route would lead me into no-man’s land, some of the most uninhabited territory in the country (at least it seemed like it).

 

But 3 radio stations and 3 hours later, I managed to catch the entire game without missing a play.  God blessed Texas!  Well, at least he blessed it with ample Dallas Cowboys coverage.

 

If it had been just an ordinary Philadelphia Eagles game, I couldn’t have tuned in by bouncing a signal off a Russian satellite.  But since it was Cowboy country, it was smooth sailing.

 

I listened to the insane ramblings of Brad Sham & Charlie Waters, who provided the play-by-play.  I had never heard of either, and it didn’t take long to start missing John Madden.

 

On to the Game

If you’ve never listened to a game on radio, I suggest you try it at least once.  It requires an extra level of attentiveness, analyzing every word and crowd reaction.

 

And though I didn’t have the visuals to back it up, I imagined the Eagles executing to perfection.  And from what I was told - that’s exactly what they did.

 

But it may have been the things I didn’t hear that made the difference.

 

I didn’t hear missed opportunities and dropped passes.  I didn’t hear extensive pressure on Jeff Garcia in the passing game.  I didn’t hear missed tackles and blown coverage.  I didn’t hear any of those things that have been so common for the Eagles this season.

 

The Cowboys took some risks early in the game, which may have been the sign of desperate team.  On a single drive, they gambled on 2 separate fourth-down situations.  They converted the first opportunity, rather than opting for a 40+ yard field goal.  The second was a goal-line opportunity, in which Marion Barber was uncharacteristically denied on 3 straight attempts.

 

From that point, the Eagles controlled the game…and never looked back.  They used a balanced offensive attack, which was flawlessly efficient.

 

School is in Session

Enjoying this game by radio was a learning experience.  Here are just a few things I picked up:

 

- The Eagles coaching staff has done some learning of their own.  With Andy Reid delegating the offensive coordinator duties, the team is “back to basics” - a formula that has made them successful in recent years.  Instead of focusing on the big play, this offense is moving the chains…and controlling the clock.  This style accentuates the team’s greatest strength - their solid offensive line.

 

- The back to basics formula also applies to the Eagles’ defense.  This defensive unit has always fed off of the offense.  Earlier in the season, this looked like a defense that could be beaten by a grade-school bully.  But the past few weeks, they are defending as well as anybody in the NFC.

 

- Without McNabb, play-makers are stepping up…on both sides of the ball.  Receivers like Greg Lewis, LJ Smith, and Reggie Brown are catching the ball consistently and have eliminated those frustrating dropped passes.  Defensively, guys like Quintin Mikell & Jeremiah Trotter appear re-energized.  And don’t forget Brian Dawkins, who has made huge plays in every game since Donovan was sidelined.

 

- The Cowboys have some serious problems to fix.  Broadcaster Charlie Waters referenced the “Romo Magic” at least 2 dozen times during the game…and it is evident that the team will need more than that for a serious post-season run.  Their offensive line and defense could bury them if they don’t get better in a hurry.

 

The Road to the Super Bowl

The NFC playoff picture is an anomaly.  When the Eagles were 5-6, it appeared that they didn’t have a chance of making the post-season.  In a Sunday Shots post, I went on record by saying “clinching a playoff spot will require nothing short of a miracle”.  And that’s exactly what they got.  In addition to improving the areas I mentioned, the other NFC contenders have struggled mightily.  The Giants, Falcons, and Panthers have disappointed…and each has a losing record (though they still have shot at the playoffs).

 

Is Philadelphia this year’s “Team of Destiny”?  Well, that remains to be seen.  But…stranger things have happened.

Philadelphia Eagles 13, Tennessee Titans 31

The Eagles’ loss to the Tennessee Titans on Sunday was overshadowed by something even more devastating…a season-ending injury to Donovan McNabb.

 

And this Eagles fan already knew that terrible news was on the way, long before the official word on McNabb’s injury was released.

 

This is same player that once played a game (and won) on a broken ankle.  The same player that endured several games with a sports hernia before calling it quits.  The same guy that only a couple of weeks ago, tossed his cookies right on the field…and threw a touchdown pass just a few plays later.

 

With McNabb’s toughness in mind, it was a hollow feeling watching him attempt to get up directly after his injury…only to go straight back to the ground - writhing in pain.

 

Besides Peyton Manning, no other individual in the league is more valuable to their team than Donovan McNabb.  For years, the Eagles have depended on his play-making ability and elusiveness every single week.

 

And for the second year in a row, McNabb will be forced to watch the final stretch of the season from the sidelines.

 

McNabb’s injury can officially be labeled as a “freak accident”, as it occurred on a fairly routine play with minimal contact.  While scrambling towards the sideline, still intent on making a throw…McNabb was pushed out of bounds ever so slightly by Kyle Vanden Bosch.  The shove was just enough to make McNabb lose his balance, and an awkward tumble resulted in a torn ACL.

 

The unexpected loss of McNabb appeared to deflate the entire team, as the Titans controlled the remainder of the game.  Veteran back-up Jeff Garcia put forth a decent effort, but it was evident that replacing McNabb will be a nearly impossible task.

 

So Now What?    

Well, as they say – “life goes on”.  Unfortunately, that statement does nothing for the Eagles playoff hopes.  Overall, the team has struggled against quality opponents.  Any run at a post-season berth would have required a potent offense against several playoff-caliber squads that remain on their schedule.  Even with a healthy McNabb, that kind of run would have been difficult.  But without his presence on the field, clinching a playoff spot will require nothing short of a miracle.

 

Never Give Up

I want to believe that this team still has a chance.  But if the Eagles are going to get it done, it’s going to require some serious improvement.  Here are a few:

 

- All season long, the offense has fallen short of its true potential.  Specifically, receivers have dropped too many passes…and haven’t stepped up with the game on the line.  Reggie Brown, Donte’ Stallworth, and L.J. Smith need to take advantage of every opportunity to make a play.

 

- The defensive unit has played extremely well at times, but their effort has been uninspired for the most part.  Poor tackling and penalties have placed an incredible burden on the offense to score points in bunches, and that can no longer continue.  If the offense can somehow move the ball effectively and control the clock, this defense may have an opportunity to shine.

 

- This team can ill afford another key injury, on either side of the ball.  Brian Westbrook must remain healthy for the rest of the season, as he is now their most valuable offensive player.

 

Parting Shots

A shot at the post-season is unlikely, but stranger things have happened.  But today, that is the last thing on my mind:

 

- Donovan, I wish you the best in your recovery.  Your leadership and relentless effort is truly inspirational.  Get well, and know there are many of us waiting for you to come back next season and lead this team like we know you can.

- To the rest of the team:  Go out there and play with heart…no matter what!