Checked out the Commissioner’s Address yesterday. Commissioner Roger Goodell’s story is a fascinating one.

If you haven’t done any extensive reading on him, you really should. How Monster.com or Careerbuilder.com haven’t used his life story as a commercial is beyond me. His first job out of law school?

A public relations intern with the Jets. Apparently, he sent the NFL thousands of handwritten letters throughout his twenties, expressing how much he’d like to work for the league. Some would go answered; some wouldn’t.

The kicker of the story is that when he finally rose through the ranks, and became Commissioner Tagliabue’s right hand man, he was handed a massive file by one of the NFL’s longtime employees. Just a massive manila folder. He takes it, skims through, and finds all his letters. Every last one.

Now he’s the Commissioner of the league.

I liked the way he handled the press conference. It wasn’t some pre-written speech with bullet points and stops for applause. There were no mentions of Iraq, either.

Rather, he just introduced himself, welcomed everyone to the Super Bowl, and then opened up the floor to the media for questions.

Rachel Nichols from ESPN asked about the Ted Johnson stuff; Chris Mortensen probed about the NFL veterans’ pensions; and a Japanese pop star inquired as to whether there’d be more Japanese players participating in the Super Bowl. The Commissioner handled each one with the same calm, patient demeanor, and gave a solid answer to each. He fielded roughly 20 questions on the day -- didn’t dodge any, and even peppered in some humor when asked about the Favre retirement.

The league’s in good hands.

Then it was off to South Beach for another walk and people watching sequence. The respective fan bases have fully taken over Ocean Drive. Everywhere you look, it’s either blue ... or blue.

I’m not sure if George Wendt, John Goodman, and Mike Myers are aware of it -- but still, in 2007, roughly 15 years since the first time the skit ran on Saturday Night Live -- Bears fans still spend every waking second muttering "Da Bears" or "Ditka" to each other. It’s become their greeting of choice here in South Beach.

Black, white, male, female -- it doesn’t matter. Two Bears fans will pass each other in the street, just nod, and mutter, “Ditka” as an accepted and acknowledged greeting.

Think about that.

They’ve substituted "Hello" for "Ditka." What a fabulous evolution.

I’m realizing now that there are several things I didn’t prepare myself for on this trip beforehand:

1. Latina supermodels everywhere you turn. Whereas in New York every other person is a bald 40-year-old man with a Blackberry talking about himself, South Beach has perfect 10’s just roaming the streets at all hours of the day. Seeing the Bears and Colts fans -- these 300 pound men in tight Peyton Manning jerseys tucked into their tapered jeans -- just stare at them is quite enjoyable. It’s like these guys have just been blindsided by a truck. And how about the poor wives of these men? Just standing there, dressed in horseshoe-related clothing, as their husbands nearly keel over from the sight of a pair of real life human breasts that don’t end below the waistline.
2. The heat. It hasn’t even been really sunny yet. But every time I go out, I sweat like Patrick Ewing at the free throw line. Huge beads of sweat just cascading off my brow. Attractive visual, right? Who’s bringing sexy back? This guy.
3. Public drinking. This is the most fascinating one to me. It’s like Mardi Gras out there, only with football instead of beads, and 120 degree heat instead of topless women. People are drinking out of those six foot plastic tubes tied around their necks, doing beer funnels, and my personal favorite -- the Styrofoam cup margarita. Now take all that heavy drinking, add it to the middle-aged, obese male football fans -- and then tickle in the unbearable heat, the perfect women, and the biggest sporting event of the year -- and you have quite a scene.

You’ve got guys in Urlacher jerseys, just stumbling around, yelling “Da Bears”, and giving each other wet willies in each other’s ears. Just falling all over each other in the middle of the afternoon. It’s like Girls Gone Wild, if you’re fetish is Midwestern men with guts and mustaches, and not 18-year old college co-eds.

 

Mix the intoxicated tourist football fan with the models, and it’s really the perfect social experiment.

 

I actually saw a 40-something year old Colts fan approach one of these women on the street. The result was an absolutely apocalyptic scene.

 

Colts fan: "Look at you (shaking head) ... There is a God!”

Woman: (smiles, keeps walking) Colts fan: "I’m a married, man. But my friend, here (puts arm around friend in a Ken Dilger jersey) thinks you’re beautiful. Take a picture with him."

(Shoving camera in her face) Supermodel: (Politely) "No thank you." (Keeps on walking.)

Colts fan: (Not fazed whatsoever, stumbling, with arm around mortified friend) "Plenty of fish in the sea, man. Plenty of fish in the sea. She wasn’t even that hot any way."

 

Yep, he’ll get ‘em next time.

Party all the time. Party all the time.

I felt like Lindsay and Paris leading up to Friday night’s festivities. I weaseled my way onto lists for the Maxim, Hawaiian Tropic, Star Island, ESPN the Magazine, and Commissioner’s Party. In truth, I only wanted to be where Perez Hilton was going. I had heard he was out on the town this week, and yet, I still didn’t have a picture of me on his site white mark on my lip, and the word "SKANK" written in Microsoft Paint across my chest. Someday. Someday.

My friend Schub and I headed over to the ESPN the Magazine "NEXT" party where there was chili being eaten and skateboarders going off ramps. Alas, everyone else at the party had a VIP badge around their neck. I didn’t. What’d that mean? No open bar. No free chili. No fun. No girls paying attention to me. I tried getting into the VIP by telling them I loved Tom Friend’s writing each issue, but was told no dice.

Then it was off to South Beach, where the rest of the bashes were being held. FOXSports.com video guru Nick Neves, far cooler than me, was already entrenched at the Maxim party. With a line winding around the corner and the bouncers wanting NOTHING to do with me, I give Neves a call. No answer. Text. No answer. Awesome.

So that wasn’t happening.

Hawaiian Tropic? We get to the club fairly early in the evening. No line. We ask what the deal is. The promoter dude gives us some wry smile. "You can get in, no problem."

Schub and I begin to enter beyond the velvet ropes.

"1500 dollars each, man."

Kerplunk.

That one hurt. It wasn’t enough that this guy knew he wasn’t letting us into his party. But he had to tease us, too? Poor sportsmanship. I think I muttered the line Mr. Romance gave when New York asked him to leave the house on VH1’s I Love New York, "Just unprofessional ... unprofessional."

At this point, I get a hold of Neves. Here’s the list of people he’d seen at the Maxim party.

- Warren Moon
- Brady Quinn
- Jay Fiedler
- Julius Jones
- Tony Romo
- A. J. Adande
- SimeonRice
- Jason Witten
- David ####

And the one that killed me the most -- Perez Hilton. That was my chance!

Schub and I end up on a random rooftop party with an Emory friend of ours livng in Miami for law school, Rebecca. We get to the top of the StarLight Hotel and it’s as if we’re at a Ford Models casting call. Just beautiful, olive skin women everywhere you turned. Naturally, none wanted anything to do with two bumbling fools wearing jeans and sneakers.

After several attempts to strike up conversations, we realize we’re way over our head and decide to just people watch. Or gawk. Or stare. Or whatever you call it.

I ask one where she’s from, and she looks me right back in the eye, doesn’t say a word, and briskly walks RIGHT by me. Saying I was shot down would be a gross understatement. I'd never seen anything like it.

Awesome!

Neves and his fiancé Nicole join us on the roof top for a few minutes, tell us how great the Maxim bash was (thanks for answering your texts!), and then we head to the Clevelander. It’s a 40-year-old Spring Break party filled with everything you could possibly imagine at a 40-year-old Spring Break party. We decide it’s too much for us at this point, get some pizza, and start looking for a cab.

As we hail one down, a pair of Bears fans embrace right in front of us.

Simultaneously, they both hug and shout "Da Bears!"

Fitting way to end the night.

The media party, itself, was pretty awesome.

Though I hoped to be on a tight dance floor, wedged between Michael Wilbon, Peter King, and Bonnie Bernstein -- there actually weren’t many of the big-name faces in attendance.  

Nope, there’d be no kissing Suzy Kolber on this night.  

That said, they all missed out on a fantastic little set-up. The city roped off about 500 yards worth of South Beach, and went all out. Top shelf open bar, all the food you could imagine, and some great live entertainment.  

One thing that intrigued me was a random beach volleyball game between two teams of bikini-clad women going on in the middle of the outdoor party.  

A bunch of media folk were hovering around the volleyball court, each one with his jaw scraping the sand.  

I asked a guy who was winning. His response? “We all are,” as he pointed to the court filled with girls wearing next to nothing.  

Terrible line, but I gave a courtesy laugh for the hell of it.  

I think I like Tim Cowlishaw a lot. He’s one of the guys on ESPN’s Around the Horn. But, unlike the other dudes on that show, he never screams, never yells, and rarely says something outrageous for the sake of saying something outrageous. He also is a newspaper man, first, and a talking head, second. Every event I cover -- I see Cowlishaw working his tail off. Most importantly, he puts together great copy in the Dallas Morning News every morning. While the rest of the big TV personalities passed on the media party, Cowlishaw attended -- smiling, sharing a laugh with whoever approached him.  

In related news, Skip Bayless was nowhere to be found.  

FOXSports.com video guru Nick Neves and I roamed the party like archeologists on a dig. We were blessed to bump into a man that we will never forget. Standing about 6-foot-8, weighing well over 300 pounds, and dressed in a green Packers tee shirt that read “No. 4: Thanks for the Memories -- 1992-2006.” I had no idea Brett Favre died last year!  

Anyway, this guy goes on to tell us he’s been drinking since 4 p.m., is NOT a member of the media, and can "beat the ever living hell out of every person at this thing." I’m fascinated by him. Within minutes, the cops come over to tell him to take it down a notch.  

He drops this gem:   "You better have a 40 millimeter taser gun on you if you’re going to tell ME to take it down a notch."  

Meanwhile, at the other end of the open bar, his friend -- wearing one of those huge novelty sized "Cat in the Hat" hats -- was trying to shove a bottle of Grey Goose down his pants. Of course, he was caught and both men were asked to leave. No taser guns were used.  

VH1 needs to find these dudes and give them a reality show. ASAP.   After a few more hours of hanging out, we all called it a night.

Another action-packed day in Miami.  

Stay tuned.

Every year at the Super Bowl, the host city puts on a party for the credentialed members of the media.

If you think about what the average “sports media member” looks like, you have an idea of how this one turns out. Lots of sweaters from the '80s, several pairs of tapered jeans, and millions of weirdly timed high fives.

Basically, a sausage party with some really foul-tasting sausage. That said, it’s open bar, incredibly well catered, and filled with all sorts of enthusiasm and entertainment.

Last year’s one in Detroit was marked by FOXSports.com video guru Nick Neves and me playing an entire game of Madden 06, while seated in leather lounge chairs, eating steak skewers, and listening to the soothing sounds of an Earth, Wind, and Fire cover band. Surely, Miami couldn’t top that!

I was looking forward to the media party all day, but had to get some grub first. Neves, Christian Anderson, and Charissa Thompson joined my foil -- dueling FOXSports.com Super Bowl blogger, Adam Schein -- and myself for a nice sit down dinner on Ocean Drive.  

I picked Schein’s brain like a surgeon. And the surgeon analogy is quite appropriate. It turns out that the man so many millions of Americans turn to for inside information from our country’s most rugged, most macho, most masculine sport -- is a die-hard fan of Grey’s Anatomy.  

Barf.  

Yep, he loves the show every ex-girlfriend in America cuddles up to on Thursday nights. McDreamy, the theme song, even the girl from Arli$$ -- Adam Schein eats it all up. Or in his terms, “It’s good stuff!” (said in Schein voice).

All this was very unsettling to me. Hearing the man I turn to every afternoon on SIRIUS for tips about blitz packages and Cover 2's rave about last week’s episode and what “Izzy” did -- well, let’s just say the bedroom scene in “The Crying Game” surprised me less.   In between all the chick flick hospital drama chatter, we got down to business and spoke about the game.

Schein’s holding out on a pick until his video for the site goes up later this week. But I think I like the Bears.

I’ll why explain in my column going up on FOXSports.com later today.

Colts defensive lineman Darrell Reid and I grew up together in Freehold, New Jersey. Like me, Darrell was raised on going to Jersey Freeze for ice cream, Federicci's for pizza, and playing in the Kuhnert Classic every Christmas break.

When we were in eighth grade, Reid, myself, and former Penn All-Ivy star Tim Begley made up the most feared front line in Monmouth County "traveling basketball" history. Tim's now playing professionally in Europe. Darrell's four days away from the Super Bowl. And me? Well, I'm 250 pounds and upset that I forgot to DVR this week's episode of The Hills.

When I spot Reid, he's being interviewed by what appears to be a Maxim-like radio show. All I hear out of his mouth is this:

"Ah, it's either too big, or too thin. One of the other. But you know—it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion in the ocean."

Terrific.

I greet Reid and it's one of those big hug ordeals. There was a time when I could do a Mikan move in the post on him. Now, his hand is twice the size of my head.

Great stuff.

We do the small talk, and all that—and then move on to the pressing questions:

1. Biggest Freehold, New Jersey legend ever?

"Gotta go with Bruce Springsteen. It's the Boss. I'll need to make a bunch more Super Bowls before I get up to that status."

2. With you (Freehold, NJ) and Klecko (Marlboro, NJ), Jim Nantz (Marlboro, NJ) and Bonnie Bernstein (Howell, NJ) all integral parts of this year's Super Bowl—is this Monmouth County's biggest Super Bowl ever?

(Laughs) "Jersey shore, baby. Freehold!"

3. You're 300 pounds and playing special teams…What's up with that?

"I'll do whatever they need me to do. And I'm not 300 pounds. It's the white in our jersey. Makes me look fat."

4. Whatever happened to Ron, the point guard on our 8th grade traveling basketball team?

"Ronny's a professional poker player in Atlantic City now!"

Wonderful news.

And there you have it.

A great Jersey reunion and the end to another wacky media day.

-- Colts receiver John Standeford was Bears quarterback Kyle Orton's main target at Purdue. To this day, Standeford holds the Big Ten record for receiving yards in a career. So, do he and Orton still talk regularly?

"Nope. Not much at all, really."

Why's that?

"I think he changed his phone number."

It's sad when college friends lose touch.

-- Orton was the subject in a conversation I had with Colts guard Jake Scott. Scott, a third year guy out of Idaho, has an absolutely horrific beard growing. Was his better than the Bears third string quarterback's?

"I haven't seen his. But I like mine."

Superstition or laziness?

"Laziness, I guess. But I really like it. A lot."

Note to self: Jake Scott really likes his horrific beard.

-- I try another question at Warren Sapp—this time about Booger McFarland. He cold shoulders me again. As if I don't even exist. Not loving Warren Sapp right now. And to think, I once practiced his dumb touchdown dance from a few years back in a mirror. Regrets, I've had a few.

-- Terrence Wilkins is one of the best kick returners in the game. I ask him if he grew up a fan of Mel Gray.

"Who's Mel Gray?"

I give him a few details on the Lions kick returning great. Then I ask which kick returner he did grow up watching—and if he looked to any in particular. "Deion Sanders, maybe?"

"Nah, I just do my own thing. Do what I do."

Neat.

Andre "Bad Moon" Rison's here for Spike TV's Pros vs. Joes program. I tried asking him a question about the Super Bowl ring he won with the Packers. He was talking about his golf game with some older gentleman. I waited. Ten minutes. Fifteen minutes. Twenty minutes. Still waiting. After trying several times to sneak a question in, he mentioned something about a birdie or a putt. I finally walked away. Rison, apparently, has a bunch of really interesting golf stories.

-- Colts special teams star Matt Giordano plays with Peyton Manning every day. But guess who else he's impressed with:

"Jack Bauer, man. Look at what that guy has done. Think about it. He's in a Chinese prison being tortured for eleven months. And what's he do? Within three hours, he's saving the world, avoiding nuclear attacks, and killing potential terrorists. Bauer's the man."

Giordano's a former Cal Bear. His thoughts on Brett Favre's heir apparent—former teammate Aaron Rodgers?

"A-Rod's incredible. I've got much respect for him. We played together for two years, and against each other in JuCo. He's very talented. He's a great quarterback, and a tremendous leader." Rest easy, Packer fans.

-- Keith O'Neill, a Colts reserve linebacker, is sporting an interesting mohawk this week. Was he inspired by a certain rap mogul? I went ahead and asked him.

"I had no idea P-Diddy once had a mohawk. No one ever told me that."

Do his teammates razz him for it?

"No. No they don't."

(Silence…) Thanks for the riveting interview, Keith.

-- The Spanish Speaking Hand Puppet is here! Phew! I was scared he wouldn't show. Working for a network called Television Deportes, the a hand with two eye balls on its knuckles asked Booger McFarland if he (McFarland) thought the puppet could be the next NFL mascot:

"Nah," answered McFarland, "You're just not marketable."

(LOL's all over from the media)

I asked McFarland what it was like playing alongside the Warren Sapps, Derek Brookses, and John Lynches of the world in Tampa. He begins his response by saying all the right things, "Great mentors"; "Hard workers"; "Tremendous leaders" … Then Michael Strahan comes over all smiles, with a microphone in his hand, working for Best Damn Sports Show, and Booger suddenly gets all giggly, "And you know—all that hard work—I apply that to both footall…and my golf game, where I'm better than Michael Strahan!" Hugs, laughs, and a strange ending to what I thought was going to be a good response to a smart question. Thanks, Strahan!

-- Ug, the American Idol kids are at it again. One just sang "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" for about 30 white middle-aged men with microphones and cameras. Creepy. Weird.

Dan Klecko is apparently not content to have caught a touchdown pass in the AFC title game.

The Colts defensive lineman has big plans for an encore performance in the Super Bowl.

"I want to run a Go Route," Klecko said. "Just send me long. Just once."

On a more serious note, Klecko also discussed what it was like growing up with a key member of the Jets' New York Sack Exchange defensive line as a father -- Joe Klecko.

"Hey, to me, he was just always Dad," Klecko said. As a kid, I didn't really understand it. Then, as I got older, I realized how special it was to have a father be an NFL player."

You might think a third-string quarterback wouldn't be much of a factor in an AFC-title winning season.

But Josh Betts does apparently play a very important role with the Colts.

"I'm Peyton’s errand boy, man."

So what exactly does that entail?

"I make a smoothie for him every night," Betts said. "I get his Gatorade for him on the sidelines. I help him warm up before every game. And on Thanksgiving—I was really sick. All the quarterbacks and the coaches went out for dinner…and they didn’t let me come. I was quarantined. They were worried I’d get Peyton sick."

But Betts did say he's learned a thing or two from Manning. And not just how to make a strawberry frappe.

"All jokes aside — it’s such an honor just to watch this man play football every day," Betts said. "By Tuesday morning, when the rest of us are just starting to watch tape on the other teams—he’s already watched the other team’s last five games…twice."

It's been pointed out left and right that Ricky Proehl is the only Colts player who was alive the last time the franchise was in the Super Bowl.

But I think it's far more interesting that Proehl is one of just two non-kickers from the original Nintendo version of "Tecmo Super Bowl" still playing in the NFL.

"You know, the players razz me about that all the time," Proehl said. "They play that video game in the locker room — and they'll use the Cardinals and goof off about the fact that I'm in it.

"Peyton loves giving me #### for being so old. He'll see an old highlight clip and say something like, 'Oh, hey, there's Bert Jones … weren't you guys rookies together?' "

So we begin our tour of the Colts' portion of Media Day by asking Indy center  Jeff Saturday on why Peyton Manning is the star of so many TV commercials, and why he’s not in any at all.

“It’s because he’s afraid of us linemen taking all the spotlight away,” Saturday replied. But while Saturday may not be reaping the big Madison Ave. bucks, at least he won't leave Media Day empty-handed. That's because an NFL spokesperson has just handed Saturday a Gatorade and a fee Colts Super Cap hat. He responds, “Ah, I love the Super Bowl. Free Gatorade!”

Saturday also talked about the last time he scored a touchdown before his momentum-shifting score in the AFC Championship.

“Pee Wee Football League," Saturday recalled. "Didn’t score one in high school. Never scored one in college. First one in the pros … And it felt great.”

We're back with some of the absurdity from Super Bowl XLI media day.

Around the same time someone asked the Bears' Lovie Smith where he was when he learned his team was selected to play in the Super Bowl, another person asked the third-year head coach who his favorite American Idol contestant was.

Smith responded: "What is American Idol? But I think Paula is great, and I love her."

I was able to track down former Gator Alex Brown, whose school has won the NCAA championship in basketball and the NCAA championship in football.

"What do you think of the University of Florida right now?"

Brown said: "Year of the Gator, baby! Year of the Gator!"

Later, I saw ESPN host Stuart Scott, and asked "Tar Heels this year?"

"Of course, Tar Heels every year."

I saw John Clayton of ESPN and asked him what he thought of Media Day.

Clayton said, "It kind of is like going through security at the airport ... you know it's coming, you don't mind, you just do it. But what do I know? I've only done 30 of them."

Mo Rocca, who you might recall fondly from as a celebrity commentator on VH1's I Love ... series, asked practice squad tight end Richard Angulo who he thought was going to win.

Of course, Angulo said, "the Bears!"

Then Rocca responded, "What? No! I'm talking Helen Mirren (from The Queen) or Meryl Streep (The Devil Wears Prada) for best actress at the Academy Awards?"

Super Bowl Media Day brings all sorts of surprises. So, those two kids who got kicked off American Idol in Seattle were here. I had to ask them what they thought of that Ian Bernardo guy from New York.

"No comment," they said. "We're only here to talk about football."

Bernardo, who goes to school in Miami and is working Super Bowl Media Day for Weekly Reader, is here. Since Weekly Reader was one of my favorite publications as a youngster, I wanted to talk to Bernardo and get an idea of what kids are reading these days.

"What are the kids reading these days? Is it Judy Blume, or are they reading the Harry Potter books?"

Bernardo responded: "Neither, they're reading ESPN sports almanacs."

I told him: "That upsets me greatly."

Someone asked Bears offensive tackle John St. Clair, "Who would win a football game? The prisoners in The Longest Yard or the Cincinnati Bengals?

The reporter then laughed out loud at his own question. Nobody else found it funny at all. St. Clair didn't answer.

(Awkward silence)

I tracked down Bears kicker Robbie Gould, and asked him, "Burning question everyone is asking this week ... are you Jewish, or not Jewish?

"Not Jewish."

I responded in my best Adam Sandler voice, "Robbie Gould ... not a Jew!"

Warren Sapp is here in Miami working for the NFL Network, and I asked him if it would be weird playing for a coach (new Raiders head coach Lane Kiffin is 31 years old) who is three years younger than him.

Sapp looked at me, stared me right in the eyes, walked right past me, didn't answer and hugged one of the female correspondents for the Best Damn Sports Show Period.

Next up: The Colts.

Media Day is here, and I opened the day by tracking down last year's college football receiver of the year, Mike Hass, and asked him what was a bigger thrill ... being the Biletnikoff Award winner, or playing in Super Bowl?

Hass: "Two completely different things ... one is the pinnacle for being the best individual player at your position in the college game, and the other is the pinnacle for being a team player in the pro game."

To Bears backups Dwayne Slay, Leon Joe and Rod Wilson: are you going to out to party tonight?

They responded in unison: "No comment."

Then added: "We're hanging low. We're not doing anything."

To which practice squad receiver Brandon Rideau responded: "Tell him about Monica Lewinsky!"

Big inside joke, apparently ... bunch of LOLs.

Receiver Justin Gage played collegiately at Missouri, so I asked him who had the better hair ... former Missouri basketball coach Quin Snyder or Lovie Smith?

Gage: "Lovie Smith has better hair during the weekdays, Quin Snyder has better hair on the weekends."

Bears backup quarterback Kyle Orton sports a huge, disgusting beard, so I had to ask him when was the last time he shaved.

"Last April."

"Do you keep that out of superstition?"

"No, out of laziness"

Of course, the obvious follow-up question to Orton had to be about all the pictures all over the Internet last year, in which he was visibly drunk and with a number of members of the opposite sex. How did he take it?

Orton responded: "My friend sent him over a link to all the pictures ... what can I do, I'm a young guy having fun."

Rookie defensive tackle Dusty Dvoracek is on injured reserve but still made the trip to Miami for Super Bowl XLI. I had to ask the former Sooner where he was when Boise State ran the hook and ladder, and later the Statue of Liberty play, to shock Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl.

Dvoracek said: "I was in the living room, flipped over my couch and couldn't believe my eyes."

I followed up with: "What do you think of Adrian Peterson? Will he be a good pro?"

"Adrian Peterson is going to be a Hall of Fame player. Mark it down in ink. He's going to be one of the best there ever was."

Like an unstoppable locomotive, the Super Bowl hype machine has officially begun rolling. Miami's alive, and so is the undeniable buzz surrounding Sunday's game. Everywhere you turn, it's Super Bowl. TV, Radio, Print, even PerezHilton.com -- it's focused on the biggest sports week of the year.

What do we call this thing -- The Peyton Express? The Lov-ie Train? Pick one and roll with it. Everything's acceptable this week. No cliché is too hackneyed, no hyperbole too exaggerated. No New York Post style headline ill conceived.

And believe it, by Sunday, you'll have heard them all.

The Bears and Colts arrived in Miami on Sunday and did a few minor press conferences on Monday. No fireworks, no inflammatory statements, no trash talk, no guarantees … yet. Just Rex Grossman in that Belichick-esque hooded sweatshirt, saying the right things to the right questions.

There's also been no C-list comedians barraging backup quarterbacks with senseless questions, sock puppets screaming at coaches in foreign languages, and Maxim cover girls posing for pictures with mascots. No questions asking Tony Dungy and/or Lovie Smith how long they've been black coaches, no Eli chatter for Peyton Manning to address, and not a single punch thrown amongst the members of the media.

That all comes Tuesday. That's right, Media Day is finally here.

If you're not familiar with the set up -- here's what we're looking at:

10:00-11:00 a.m. ET: Chicago Bears -- All players and coaches available to credentialed members of the media.

Podium Guys: Lance Briggs, Thomas Jones, Charles Tillman, Brian Urlacher, Alex Brown, Rex Grossman, Olin Kreutz, Lovie Smith, Bernard Berrian, Devin Hester, Adewale Ogunleye, Mushin Muhammad

11:00 am- 12:00 p.m. ET: Media Buffet Lunch (A horrifying, train wreck of a sight)

12:00pm- 1:00 p.m. ET: Indianapolis Colts -- All players and coaches available to credentialed members of the media.

Podium Guys: Bob Sanders, Dallas Clark, Jeff Saturday, Peyton Manning, Tarik Glenn, Marvin Harrison, Dwight Freeney, Tony Dungy, Cato June, Anthony McFarland, Reggie Wayne, Adam Vinatieri

Anything goes on Media Day. The weird, the wacky, and the foul. It never dissapoints.

Buckle up, folks. This train just keeps on picking up steam.

Stay tuned for updates ...