Here I sit, a mere hour away from the beginning of my Christmas break...couldn't be happier! I'd gripe about the fact that it's less that the customary two weeks, except 1) I know a lot of you don't get any extended break and I wouldn't want you to feel bad, and 2) my wife, for the first time since...well, since she was five, I guess...doesn't get any break to speak of except for Christmas day and New Years Day. So, I'll refrain from whining and throw out a few (mostly, but not all sports related) thoughts.

DENVER NUGGETS

Everyone is so concerned that AI and Carmello won't function well together. My thought is this...at least one of them is always going to be double teamed, or have a zone collapse on them, so wouldn't that mean the other is likely to be single covered? I'm guessing that they'll both warm to the idea...

SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS

I've understood most of their moves, but Ryan Klesko? I'm kind of baffled by this move. Will he stay healthy enough to actually help? Where are they planning on playing him? I thought Rich Aurilia was the answer to the first base issue.

SEATTLE MARINERS

Please...do SOMETHING! If you do indeed go out and get Barry Zito, then all is forgiven. If not....just what the F*** have you been doing this offseason? I haven't seen one deal yet that made sense.

YOU HAVEN'T LIVED UNTIL...

you've been watching (or running scoreclock in my case) a small school JV girl's basketball game where the ball gets stuck between the rim and the backboard. Of course, no one can jump up to get it...so they grab a practice ball, and one player throws it up to knock the ball loose...and it doesn't budge. She tries again...nothing. 3rd attempt...still nothing. Another player from the other team tries...heaves it up there mightily...and misses everything! Finally, a fifth attempt succeeds. Oh, joy...

LEADING ROLES

I would love to see the male lead in ANY movie played by that amazing actor, Randy Quaid. Imagine your favorite film roles. Randy Quaid as James Bond! RQ as General George Patton. RQ as Tony in West Side Story...you get the idea. And if the film calls for two leads...well, none other than Master Thespian himself, Jon Lovitz. Quaid and Lovitz as Batman and Robin...now that's good stuff!

POKER

Mike Matusow is a ####.

BOWL GAMES

Two things I'd like to see in tandem (the rest I don't care about). I'd love to see Boise State beat Oklahoma, and see Ohio State lose to Florida. Then let the discussion begin...after all, undefeated is undefeated. Maybe then we'd edge a bit closer to a real playoff.

ZAGS

Talk about a case of bad timing...I have choir rehearsal at the same time as the Gonzaga/Duke game (no, I can't skip...I'm the director). And we're not getting our DVR until the next day. Yikes! Let's hope for the North Carolina/Washington version of the Zags and not the Washington State/Georgia version.

TEMPTATION

I'm trying...really trying hard...to resist the temptation to "safety-test" a Christmas present I ordered for my sons (yes, they're adults...so what?). It's a burp gun that shoots ping-pong balls! I had one when I was a kid (then called the "Super-Duper Goofer Gun"), and loved it! Think I can make it until Christmas???

CHRISTMAS BREAK AND HIGH SCHOOL SPORTS

It'll never happen...but I strongly feel that winter sports teams should have a ban on games AND PRACTICES for the duration of winter break. Those kids...and their families...and coaches...and cheerleaders...and band members (mine do)...need a break as much as anyone else. Imagine...an athlete getting to spend some family time!

THE ULTIMATE PICK UP LINE

I developed this after it would do me any good (being very happily married to a wonderful woman), but if anyone else can use this, I'll know I benefitted the world in some small way...   "If you could read my mind, you'd either slap me or take me home."

DVR

Since we're getting one of these soon...is there anything anyone can recommend that is worth recording?

Well, if you didn't get thoroughly bored by all this, Merry Christmas!